A/N – Originally this was meant to be a double chapter, but after editing I felt the first part of it deserved its own space. Angst and feels ahead. Chapter picks up the same day as the previous one.

Title:

Ghosts of Present

Summary:

"Ghosts don't haunt us. That's not how it works. They're present among us because we won't let go of them."

– Sue Grafton -

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Later that night after Snow was tucked into bed, the hour grew close to the thin death of the midnight hour Regina had been waiting for. Deemed the witching time, it was the perfect opportunity to talk to one specifically across the veils between life and death. Necessary Regina had decided in order to protect her and the little one sleeping down the hall.

Magic was clearly present in town with the shadow lurking and unable to tap her own at the moment; she would wield the other weapon she had. Not sure if it would work. Her idea. The weapon. Any of it, but Regina needed to do something. Had done nothing since being here to get them closer to leaving. Perhaps not nothing, but now for sure she could do this one thing.

Sure fingers gripped the handle of a metal bat, one Graham had taught her to use when she had been less than sure of learning how to work the gun on his hip and of one in the house where her young son had slept. Her first few years in the curse town of Storybrooke decades ago Regina had felt a vulnerability she could not tolerate of being unable to defend herself with the loss of her magic in this land. She took classes in self defense and used the resources at her disposal to gain other such skills.

Her throat worked thinking of Graham. They had been friends here and he easily offered her companionship in the years before her son had come into her life. He had no memory of the Enchanted Forest and before the dark curse was cast she'd been able to make sure he was taken care of. Almost happy even to live his life openly. He and Snow she'd had just enough time to alter their fates, but not much time and not as many changes as she'd wanted to before the dark curse clouds swept them all away… After Mother had stolen her heart and she was no longer in control of her actions and words he had protected Snow in a moment when she could not.

Regina cringed at the memory and clutched the bat tighter as it washed violently through her. Mother had forced her to order Snow's heart in a gold box on the morning before the Princess' 18th birthday. Regina had been ruling as Queen Regent in Snow's stead until that day and child turned woman was the rightful ruler but had yet to still claim that title until marriage. By then her relationship with Snow was beyond broken.

Mother had whispered words into her heart that had come from Regina's numb lips in the form of orders to Graham to take Snow for a walk in the woods. To pick wild flowers as the Princess was so fond of doing. There he was to kill Snow and return with that strong heart in a box for Mother's use. He had known of Cora's manipulations and knew what to do when that order was spoken upon compulsion.

Graham had escaped Cora's wrath that day, but she had not when the heart of a stag had been discovered in that gold box instead of her daughter's. After the dark curse and Cora's surprise visit to Storybrooke decades later her Mother had gotten hands on Graham's sweet protective nature and twisted it into something to be used to further drive a wedge between her and Snow through Emma. After using him, Mother had silenced him. For good. Now all she had left of her childhood friend, her bother in rebellion, were his words of encouragement from their training sessions in her mind.

'Go for the collarbone, head, or knees. You want to disable your attacker, especially if they have a weapon. One hand over the other Regina and always keep swinging.'

Always she'd promised and now it was here to fill. Regina stood at the top of the staircase, looking down into the dark foyer of the mansion as her fingers shifted and tightened around the grip of the bat in the exact manner he had taught her. Clock ticking and the chime announcing midnight set her teeth on edge. Regina began descending, moving the bat up to her shoulder and ready to swing.

Calling for who she suspected the shadow to be. "Mother?" And again when the air grew cooler than should be possible for the anxious heat running off her body. "I know it's you." The black chill haunting Regina the last several weeks had finally registered when she and Snow had been walking to the park earlier that day. All the things falling, or doors closing by themselves and the pull of the spell book now made sense. The flash of blue eyes too in the bathroom mirror a few weeks ago had also been a sign.

A creak answered.

The hair on the back of her arms stood to attention. Regina fought off a shiver as the temperature further dropped. Then with an edge, she countered. "I didn't know hell had air conditioning. You must be racking up quite the utility bill."

She jerked back when she felt a brush of something, ice on her cheek, and then it was gone again. First touch aside from the one Mother gave right before death that held no physical pain. Gaining confidence Regina tried again, baiting for a response. "Show yourself and let's end this witch to bitch. I'm more than done with your games."

Then that icy hand was back and firm as living flesh around her throat. Regina gasped and moved sharp to deflect the touch. The bat connected but brief to diffuse the arm to black smoke reaching from nothing but thin air. Chilly glove materialized anew squeezing her throat once in warning or maybe it was more of an old habit, then it faded entirely.

A pair of blue eyes materialized in front of Regina to float where a face should be. All knowing. Cruel and calculating they had been in life. Dead they were deep wells of heavy murk hiding emotion like the mysterious water of the river Styx. On instinct Regina swung at them and right through the bat went. The eyes of an unforgiving cold hell were right back on her again. Stepping back Regina kept the fear from her voice when her heart was a machine gun against bone.

Sharp. "Where is my son?" First need spilling only had the floating eyes blinking within the black transparent silhouette of her Mother's prior life form. Regina narrowed hers in return, suddenly understanding and her shoulders dropped. Sarcastic in disappointment. "With all the Halloween party tricks you can't even speak, can you?"

Those eyes blinked once.

A no then. "Is Henry safe at least?"

Two blinks from blue eyes for yes.

Regina shook her head and fired more questions in growing need. "Are we back in time? Or is this some frozen pocket between worlds?" Asking on her theory then rubbing her head remembering they were on a warped version of Morse Code for the dead.

One and then two blinks in response to each question.

Muttering. "As if I can trust you anyway…" Then strong. "Every word from your mouth to me has been a lie." Regina sighed at the current irony of that statement and set the bat aside to lean against the wall in favor of crossing her arms. "You did this. Put us here somehow."

Not a question, but the eyes blinked affirmative twice anyway.

Regina sighed with growing frustration. "I found your note, but then you must know that."

Twice more those eyes closed.

Done with twenty blinking questions, Regina got as close as she dared to the pair of eyes she used to shake under. Now her hands were balled fists at her sides and she wished there was flesh to punch in front of her.

"Your last words to me… I believed you, actually believed you could love me once you had your heart back." Then irate as Regina's eyes began to sting. "I want to go home to my son."

As much Henry hated her right now at least that hate was real. He was real. And his hate was much closer to something Regina could live with, understand and work through to help him see the truth. Within this twisted do over with a Snow from the past mixed with the present she felt out of control. Now she stood here facing what was quickly becoming clear as her only answer of how to get home, she became enraged that her Mother couldn't or wouldn't talk. Cora's vision didn't waver either and it only fueled Regina's upset.

Tears fell. In the rawness of them Regina broke the chain on the carefully kept leash she had held tight her whole life when speaking to her Mother. She bit right through the maternal chain. "You could never let me be. Let me have my happiness." Voice rising, she felt the fire in her blood as fuel. "Henry was supposed to be my second chance. One damn thing of my own and you had you go and destroy his faith in me. Kill Graham, Daddy, and Daniella and turn everyone in this town against me again! My daughter—you poisoned my daughter against me, tried to kill my baby—" As rage boiled over Regina covered her mouth with the back of her hand as the other crossed her stomach to keep from being sick. She dropped both. "I hate you." Spitting black words as her hands shook. Hot tears streamed and she felt herself breaking apart all over again. "I hate you so much for my life!" Then Mother's eyes did something Regina had never before seen. Something she would never forget.

One tear welled and fell.

Decades of heartless interaction washed away into the river of silence between them as Mother's eyes faded. Gone away into the quiet darkness of death as Regina had wished them to be in life long ago.

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A stiff scotch did nothing to soothe Regina's nerves and two only numbed her stomach against the knife twisting there. Red and raw, her eyes hurt. Locked in her Study since the midnight meeting Regina paced and thought, wore a circle on the rug to nowhere certain in front of a roaring fire chasing the chill of night away. Pausing she leaned heavily on the mantel, fingering the gold frame of a raven print above as she studied the ink sketch.

At one point in her life she would have given anything for a pair of wings like that. A feathered choice to be anchored in the gravity of earth or soar on limitless air. To fly away in the void of blue sky with nothing all around her but sweet open wind.

Freedom.

Her Mother had promised that and much more right before the dark curse was cast. But it had all been a twist of tongue from that mouth. Mother had forced her. Forced her hand right into the chest of one of the people she loved most. Mother had been unclear in that command of asking price. And the choice was hers, but not hers.

And Regina had chosen.

That moment of the choice that was not a choice. Should never have been hers to make was forever imprinted to the memory of her skin and heart. For a moment Regina let it sweep her away for another moment under those loving eyes full of understanding; a love like a light in the darkness…

"What did your Mother say?"

Regina closed her eyes as she paced the length of her chamber and back again. Heels clicking sharply on stone as arctic as she was. Cold her heart had become against feeling thanks to the title from her Father's lips.

But not quite cold in full yet.

Some warmth remained. Like when he looked at her just as he was looking at her now. That gave Regina's feet pause. An echo of a heartbeat she used to have whispered against her rib cage to be heard.

'Listen,' it said. 'There is another way.'

Though, Regina knew the price Mother demanded and both options were too great in the telling to even consider paying.

But she had no choice.

"Sweetheart?" Her Father tried again.

"Don't call me that." Regina cringed at how she sounded. Words fell like hail beating a frozen river bed.

He gave a bow of deference and loyalty. One too filled with concern and love. "Please daughter." Then softer still. "What did she say Regina?"

Resolute. "I have to cut out the heart of one of the things I love most."

"Snow."

Red lips parted as Regina's eyes closed. How well he knew her. Always had since she was a child seeking his light. Like a wee moth to a flame she'd followed his flicker in the darkness surrounding them that was her Mother. Regina turned to face him. Her eyes said the unspeakable; her rage and sorrow, love and asking when her mouth could not give him any other reason. "Daddy I don't know what to do." Affection from childhood slipping from the smallest of her stored reserve of warmth she had left to call her own in her heart's absence.

For him.

"My dear." He stepped forward, palms up and open to her. Always open and oh so dear in the giving. "You don't have to do this."

"I have to do something." Regina moved past his touch. It would crush her into action; dissolve what little power she had left as she fought an internal war. "I don't have much control left." Shaking now with the tension of the tether from Mother's compulsion spell. An invisible chain on her ankle began drawing her legs toward the door of her chamber, but she fought it. If she let go this moment they would materialize in a puff of smoke to a castle across the land. To the bedroom where her pregnant daughter slept with the Prince Charming. And Snow would no longer sleep in this life once that strong heart was clutched in her grip. "Mother's power is eating me alive." Gasping as teeth of pain began eating at either side of her temples. "I can't stop it."

Her Father took a step forward. "If the price is your daughter's life, then her child's—"

"I know!" And Regina's rage slipped the leash; one of few feelings that were her own. Fist slammed against the stone wall, cutting her knuckles to bleed in his silence. "I know the price Daddy." Then straining as the cords in her neck went taut with the pull of dark magic as her own powers battled against it. Time was waning. Slipping, like the dead dust of a heart through Mother's palm that would soon be hers if she resisted much longer. Then nothing could be done.

For Snow, the baby, Father… For anyone.

"I just want you to be happy, but Regina you have to fight."

"I am." Thick and certain of everything she'd sacrificed for years on end. To protect Snow. Her Father. The Kingdom's people. But the dark voice commanding her to task was unwavering. "Daddy I am." Struggling again as another whip of heat make her muscles seize in pain. The longer she fought a compulsion the more it hurt. The room flashed white with blazing ache. Regina doubled over, hands on her knees as she struggled to breathe. To explain, to fight, to… A tear slipped loose her Mother's control and fell down against her cheek.

Her Father approached and for the first time in ever so long she was held by the man she adored. He drew her up in his arms. He who had protected her as much as he'd been able. The man of tender heart and soft resolve this world was not meant for. Mother's unrelenting words of command chewed her insides to act. Regina embraced him in return, drawing him tight against her for any sense of grounding.

He spoke so sure and Regina clung to the hope in his wish for her. "You can be happy my child. Of this I am sure. One day, somehow, some way you will find your happiness just waiting for you." Tighter he held her. "There is another way."

"But how can I?" Find happiness. Freedom. Hope when the darkness was crushing her from the inside out. Salt burned like hell fire from the cut corners of her eyes. Regina winced as he pulled back and his gloves cupped her cheeks. His thumbs cleared the teary path of despair away in a clear answer of what to do. And she mourned. "It's not fair. Not right and I—" Another sharp pulling deep in her core made Regina take a step back from him as her magic tingled beneath her skin to signal a transportation spell rising. Then another step and another, but he moved with her halting them both in place.

He anchored her. "I love you Regina." And Daddy became another name for love. His love was everything.

Queen's hand moved then by a cruel mistress' string. Hovered and reflected in his accepting eyes between the dark forever question of sacrifice; Father or daughter. Which life; the impossible choice.

And the choice to save her daughter's life was a daughter's sacrifice.

Regina paid dearly.

As her hand plunged through cloth and skin. Then through the bone and blood of her blood and bone. Regina cradled her Father's head against her shoulder. Felt his cold shock followed by the warm balm of acceptance and understanding only he could give her; would never ask for and could not in her current state. Her Father wilted in her arms and fell to the floor as she went with him to guide his transition in the final moments of life. He was a plucked flower too tender for the iron earth of this world, one his roots struggled to find a home in.

Dead.

Her Father was dead.

"I'm sorry." Breaking in half of impossibility possible Regina cradled his still heart in her hands and his head in her lap as Mother's cackle beat against the inside of her skull.

"I'm sorry Daddy."

So sorry and had never forgiven herself. Regina leaned heavy against the mantel of the fireplace in her Study as she took a deep breath and another as the room returned to focus. His love ended in sacrifice. For her. For her daughter and one she would never forget or take in vain. She had to fight. Here as she had then to find the happiness her Father gave his life for her to have.

A thinker and action driven Regina had always been and here in this new curse she had only been able to think. It was time to do something, but what was yet unclear. A spark of something once impossible crossed her mind. Or maybe it wasn't and she just hadn't thought the answer to getting home and back to her happiness, to Henry, and maybe to more she had thought lost may actually be this simple. Leaving the Study she ventured upstairs.

Her one way discussion with Cora had opened her eyes some to what she needed to do and what she had control over in this life, not much, but it was something. Henry safe, at least Regina hoped and with Miss Swan—Emma, eased her mind.

And Regina eased through the crack of the door into Snow's room. It had become that in her mind this moment. No longer Henry's. One child hidden away from her in space and time and her other one once thought lost rested in this room.

This little girl… Her little girl. Stroking Snow's hair Regina whispered. "You are in need of mothering… and badly." Sighing she moved to stroke a cheek. She had no idea how long they would be here, but while here she could do one thing. Snow, both child and adult, would fight her, but… "And I will start doing better at being one to you." Bending to kiss a cheek, her lips lingered on this promise she could keep.

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A/N – Thoughts?

More Saturday.

Next time: Little Snow tries to mend the past with unexpected results. Regina and Snow relive a day of their past in their present. Guesses on which one?