Disclaimer- Still don't own.
[Chapter 10]
Lisbon walked down the narrow corridor and put her good arm through the cell bars.
"I know you aren't sleeping..."
Jane quickly jumped off his bunk and began pacing. The last time the conversation started like this he ended up standing in a pool of her blood. It had been days since he had slept, and Jane wasn't quite sure if he dozed off.
He still felt off centered and off balanced. The symphony in his head was at dissonance. His drummer was offbeat and the strings were out of tune. All his attempts at self hypnosis and meditation failed. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Finkle's face and the cursed red smiley.
"Jane?"
Jane grabbed her hand and held it there. It was warm and kind of clammy. He felt her pulse beat. Rhythmic. Hypnotic. Soothing. Like a metronome slowly bringing all the melodies and harmonies back into synch. An anchor, a beacon of light that pulsed through the cloudiness of his mind. A tether, that tried to pulled him from the ledge as it slowly crumbled.
"Jane are you okay?"
"Shhhh..."
"You better not better not try to hypnotize me or anything like that."
"Shhhh."
Jane focused on the beat. This would not break him. This was just another demon for his closet. He told himself time would heal all wounds and other platitudes. What Lisbon told the victims families, and he wondered if anyone truly believed it. This would not break him. He was a survivor.
"Jane."
He let go of her hand and let out a deep breath. Everything was not fine, but good enough. Jane could deal with good enough.
"Lisbon can you do me a favor and stand next to the wall, so I can keep an eye on the door?" Jane politely asked.
"Why?"
"Please, just do it."
"Are you okay? It's just us in here. I told Wilson to go get coffee, so we can have some privacy."
"Please," Jane pleaded with her.
"Jane what is it?"
"It was just I had a dream we had this same conversation."
"And how did it turn out?"
Jane turned away and looked at the floor. He forced that memory out of his head. He tried to thing of anything else. Charlotte's first steps, the first time he set eyes on Angela, the time he took 35 cents from Cho.
"Oh, that bad? What did I say?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Do you want to tell me about it?" Lisbon prodded. "This isn't in an official capacity. You see I have this friend, did something stupid, and I just want to know if he's all right, because he goes off and does these foolish and reckless things without thinking of the consequences. I need to know if he's doing okay, even though I am still mad at him. And his other friends are mad at him, but are more concerned with his welfare, but he's to selfish and stubborn to see how his actions might affect others..."
"What friend might that be?"
"Jane, I am responsible for you and this unit. I feel like I've failed you guys. You especially. Van Pelt left and I don't know when she's coming back. Rigsby is acting strange..."
"I hypnotized him."
"What? You are going to undo it!"
"No, it wasn't anything bad, like convincing a smoker that they only smoke out of habit. He was blaming himself for the whole Grace/O'Laughlin thing and that he should have seen it sooner. I told him it wasn't his fault and he should take care if the team."
"He tried to hug Cho."
"Oh. That's an unforeseen circumstance. Maybe I should have went with singing like Tina Turner."
"That would be a sight."
They both laughed.
"I'm okay with the fact that it turned out like this. If the team was there, I would have had to go through you guys, and I wasn't looking forward to doing that. It would have ended badly," Jane said.
"I would have stopped you."
"You would have tried. Does it hurt?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry O'Laughlin shot you. I should have realized he was the mole sooner."
"I have pain killers for that pain," Lisbon sighed. "You already know what you are going to tell the shrink?"
"I was debating on the Johnny Cash story again, but he probably read my file."
"Why don't you tell the truth?"
" 'We all go a little mad sometimes?' "
"Uh, no, Norman not that..."
"I don't know the next time we'll get to talk..."
"I'll be at the arraignment tomorrow. So will Rigsby and Cho."
"Just tell the them thanks."
"Oh, and Jane..."
"Yes, Lisbon?"
" 'He told me details only someone who killed my family would know. Finkle was armed, but had the gun in the newspaper. He was going to leave change his identity, and never return. I could not let that happen. I shot him three times while he stood mere inches from me. I got my revenge.' "
"That is my official statement."
"I will not accept that," Lisbon said.
"Are you my editor? That's what happened."
"You will rewrite it."
"No."
"You will rewrite it. I've already burned that piece of paper you gave me."
"Why would you do that?"
"You were carrying the gun, even though illegal and stupid, you feared for your safety. Finkle threatened to shoot you and others in the food court. That's when you shot him three times and surrendered."
"It's a lie."
"What does it matter. You lie all the time. Only you and Finkle know what really happened and he is dead. I've read all the witness statements, no one could hear your conversation over the busy food court. You talk about justice all the time. Is it justice that you go to jail for shooting an armed suspect, a serial killer?"
"You always talk about the law. Is it okay if I commit perjury? Get away with murder?"
They were at a stalemate, neither of them wanted to concede.
The two glared at each other for a few minutes.
"I should go. You need to try and get some rest. If you see the shrink the way you are now, there might be a problem," Lisbon said.
"What's wrong with the way I look?"
"Orange doesn't suit you."
"Thanks Lisbon for you know... uh, good night."
"Goodnight Jane."
TBC
You guys would tell me if I'm OOC right? That's the one thing that would bother me the most.
I rewrote this chapter 4 times and I want to bang my head on the desk.
I feel like I'm on a three hour drive to the amusement park, I know where I want to go, but the highway is closed and I need to detour, but some of the street signs are missing. And what aggravating is that I can see the roller coaster...