-1Hi guys! I just wanted to thank everyone for all the reviews so far, I'm glad people are liking the story! Also, I'm sorry, but no, Brooke isn't pregnant. I wanted the possibility to add some drama, but I've already done a Brooke-gets-pregnant story (shameless plug: read Stop All the World Now!) so it probably won't happen this time around. Hope you still enjoy!

Brave New World

"How do you feel?"

For the first time in nearly a week, Brooke had woken up without dizziness immediately overwhelming her. She was currently seated at the breakfast table, eating dry cereal under Karen and Lucas' watchful supervision.

"I feel ..." She considered telling the truth. She felt empty. She felt like her heart had been hollowed out and thrown in a blender. She felt like nothing in the world was fair and she felt like she missed Nathan so much it was an actual, physical ache. "I feel okay. Definitely better."

The answer seemed to satisfy Lucas, but Karen kept her careful gaze on the girl. "Are you sure, honey?" she asked gently. "It was a pretty rough week. No one would blame you if you wanted an extra day to rest."

Brooke wondered how she'd ever thought she could get along just fine without a mother. Over the past week, Karen had been the one to drive her to the doctor, to hold her hand as they waited, to hug her close when she found out she wasn't pregnant and she'd nearly collapsed from all the stress. She had even comforted her after Nathan's departure the other day, when she'd gotten home from the Cafe to find Brooke sobbing broken-heartedly.

"No, I want to get back to school," she said now, smiling gratefully at the woman. "I need to."

Karen still looked hesitant, but she let the matter drop. Lucas, oblivious to the undertones in their conversation, scraped back his chair. "Well, we should get going," he announced. "Brooke, you with me?"

She forced her lips upward, standing to join him. "I'm with you."

They made the drive mostly in silence, Brooke gazing out the window as Lucas concentrated on the road ahead of them. Maybe it was just that she'd been cooped up in bed for a whole week, but she thought the whole world looked different, like everything had been shifted one inch to the side while she was sleeping.

She promised herself she was going to change with it. No more pining over Nathan, no more torturing herself with thoughts of what could have been. She needed to move on. Summer was over and so were they. And the first thing she needed to do was devote herself to making things work with Lucas. No more stalling or holding herself at arm's distance. She had loved him once and she could again.

Thinking that, she snuck a glance at his profile. It wasn't like he'd changed all that much. He still had the same sturdy look to him, the honest poet's eyes. He was a composite of nearly every teen girl's fantasy. And he was kind, so kind - transgressions with best friends aside. And he wanted to be with her. What more could she ask for?

"What are you looking at?" Lucas asked, one corner of his lips lifting as he caught her staring.

"My boyfriend," she told him, watching as his smile became a full-fledged grin. "You got a problem with that?"

"Not in the least," he replied, reaching for her hand as they pulled into the parking lot. "So, what do you think? You ready to do this?"

He was talking about returning to school, but Brooke couldn't help but give his words extra meaning. Was she ready to be with him, to turn her back on all the hopes she'd had for herself and Nathan? "You know me," she answered, injecting just the right amount of cheer into her voice. "I was born ready."

XXX

There was no way this was going to go well.

Brooke fidgeted on the porch outside of Nathan and Haley's apartment, trying not to think of the last time she'd been here. Maybe they wouldn't be home. Maybe she could just leave the stupid playbook in the mailbox and that would be the end of it.

But no. Had her luck been any kind of good lately? The door swung open, revealing a confused-looking Nathan. "Brooke? What are you doing here?"

"Lucas asked me to drop this off," she bit out, averting her eyes from his bare chest. Great. She'd caught him and Haley in the middle of a little afternoon delight. "So, here."

He accepted the playbook, still scratching his head. Was it her imagination or was his hair all mussed up? He had that just-after-sex look about him. "Thanks. Did you want to come in?"

She laughed mirthlessly. "And spend some quality time with you and the missus? No, thanks."

"Haley's not here." He opened the door wider, revealing an empty apartment and the couch he'd been napping on. "She's at the Tutoring Center 'til five. I just cut out of practice early because I didn't feel so hot."

"Poor baby," she said, the words dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm really glad you're here," Nathan continued, ignoring the venom in her tone. When she didn't respond, he took her wrist and tugged her gently inside, leading her to the couch. "I've been wanting to apologize for the other day. What I said, it was ... completely out of line."

"Gee, you think?" She was determined not to let him off the hook so easily. Or at all. It was better to remain mad at him. That way, she wouldn't have to think about the good times and pretty soon, it would be like they'd never happened.

"Brooke, I didn't mean what I said. I don't even know where it came from," he said honestly. "I was just so shocked that you'd thought ... that you might've been ... and, I guess, I was scared."

"You were scared?" How could he even say that with a straight face? "Nathan, I was terrified. I thought that I might have a baby - your baby. What would I have done? I mean, you're married, so that puts you out of the equation. I was thinking about leaving town."

"I would've stayed with you," he cut in quietly.

"I was thinking -" His words processed, and she stopped. "What did you say?"

"If you had been pregnant." Slowly, he raised his eyes to hers. "I'm not my father, Brooke. I would've done the right thing."

"I wouldn't have wanted you to, Nathan," she sighed. "I would never want to be an obligation to you, okay? So you can just ... forget it."

They were silent for a minute. "I feel like I can never say the right thing to you," Nathan confessed, shifting so that their knees no longer touched. "I feel like I'm doing everything wrong."

"Is there really a right way to treat an ex-mistress?" she asked, trying for humor, but the joke fell flat.

"I thought you'd slept with Lucas," was his response. Brooke, surprised, looked at him. "I thought that, you know, since the two of you are trying again and all, I figured ... I was so jealous. I saw red, literally. When I said that, I just wanted to hurt you."

Her anger melted away. He looked as heartbroken as she had been, as lost as she still felt. "Nathan ..." She wrapped her fingers tentatively around his. "Nate, I haven't - I couldn't. It's too soon after ... after everything."

"I know what you mean," he admitted, shaking his head. "I haven't ... with Haley, I mean, we haven't ... just in case you were thinking that. We haven't."

"Great." Another humorless chuckle escaped her lips. "God, what are we going to do, Nate? You can't sleep with your wife and I can't even think about kissing someone else. This is ... this isn't good."

"Maybe it's a sign." Nathan wasn't sure what prompted him to say it. He wasn't a big believer in fate, didn't really prescribe to the idea that everyone had a destiny. But he couldn't think of any other reason why everything in his life lately seemed to lead back to Brooke, why they kept bumping up against each other like this.

She shook her head. "You don't mean that."

"I do," he countered. It was the truth - having her next to him, thighs pressed close, fingers intertwined, well ... it was the closest thing to certainty he'd felt in a while. "You've gotta stop telling me how to feel, Brooke. We've tried it your way and it hasn't done either of us any good."

"And what's your way?" she challenged, straightening her shoulders, gearing up for another fight.

"This," he said simply, and then brought his lips to hers.