10 – Despair

Ginny woke groggily, blinking her eyes in confusion as the room swirled into focus. She jerked in shock as she felt the warmth of another at her back. Trying to even her breathing from the surprise, she rolled over and saw Snape, curled in a way that could only mean that Ginny had been lying there moments ago. Her brain seemed to be working on overdrive as memories flashed before her eyes.

Oh no, Harry.

She threw the blankets off herself and scrambled out of the bed, she didn't look back as Snape stirred from his sleep, and she ran from his room and out into the hallways. She ran blindly, turning corners without looking. Someone screamed as she ran through them, but she did not stop to apologise, she had to get away from everything, away from herself.

How could she, running around like a bitch on heat, jumping into bed with someone just because they said they loved her.

At least I didn't go all the way...

Ginny finally slowed down, realising she was out in the grounds, the early morning sun sent a purple hue across the blue-black clouds that floated in the sky. She walked to the edge of the lake and threw herself down, underneath a beech tree and cupped her heads in her hands. An icy chill prevailed her body.

How could she even try to justify what she had done? Just because she hadn't gone all the way didn't mean that she didn't want too, just not last night. But that was just as bad, she was with Harry, she couldn't want to sleep with another man. But she had slept in the same bed as Snape; she had shared his passionate kissing. That was not any better than having sex with him.

It was rare for Ginny to cry, but a tear of frustration slid down her cheek. What was she doing, how could she lead two men on like this. She was nothing better than a common whore. She hated the thought, but she knew she was right. She laid in the shade of the tree and cried; all her guilt and fears washing from her.

***

Snape sat, propped against a wall, on his bed; staring at the spot where Ginny had slept that night. Her sent lingered heavily on the air and Snape took extra deep breathes as if to inhale it all before it disappeared. As much as he was hurt by the fact that she had left at top speed this morning, he understood. He understood how weird this must feel for her. He was in his 30's and she was 17. He was her Teacher.

"Goddamn!" Snape shouted. His voice echoed, hauntingly, around the empty room.

Frustrated he pushed himself off the bed and dressed hastily in his black robes. Although upset by the events of the morning so far. He couldn't contain the happiness that now swelled inside him. Ginny had been with him last night. She liked him.

***

Ginny was last in for breakfast, she had eventually returned to the Gryffindor tower to change into a fresh set of robes. Her mind bouncing with guilt and confusion.

I love Harry

No you don't

Yes I do

You love Snape.

Ginny punched a wall in frustration as her eternal debate raged. Nothing around her registered as the two Ginny's fought each other to the death.

***

"Harry, Harry!"

A voice called and Harry turned to see Luna Lovegood studying him with her large eyes.

"Why aren't you at school Luna?" Harry asked amazed.

"I heard you had moved into Hogsmeade today." She answered innocently.

"Yeah, but how did you know?" Harry asked, perplexed. Indeed he had moved to Hogsmeade today and was on the way to Hogwarts to tell Ginny the news; however he had been cut off by Luna as he walked the main street.

"Apparation test today." Luna said simply.

"Oh, right." Harry said, with a shrug. "I am headed to Hogwarts now; want to come for a walk with me."

"I'd love to," Luna said brightly and they started to make their way along the main street to the road that led of Hogwarts.

"How's everything?" Harry asked, more for the point of making conversation than out of interest.

"Yes, they are fine. But I think there is something wrong with Ginny." Luna said airily.

"What do you mean; there is something wrong with Ginny?" Harry asked, now interested.

"She just seems out of it," Luna said, watching something off the road.

Harry waited for her to continue, but she did not. Annoyed Harry picked up his speed, wanting to see what was causing Ginny to be "out of it."

***

"Ginny?" Snapes soft voice drifted to her across the silence of the library.

Ginny looked up at him contemptuously.

"Please, walk with me." Snape said, his face full of emotion.

Silently, Ginny stood; putting away her books she followed him. She wasn't exactly sure why, but she had a feeling that this is what she should do.

Snape led her through the castle. The sounds of students in class echo around them both, Snape did not speak as he walked through the front doors and out into the grounds.

Ginny strode after him, her mind full of theories, about where he was taking her. A smile crossed her face, but she quickly quelled it. It was because of him she was in such a dilemma.

"I'm sorry; I think that I was moving things too fast." Snape turned to her, once they had reached a secluded area just inside the Forbidden Forest. Ginny said nothing so Snape continued.

"I know this must be weird for you, I am old enough to be your father,"

A ghost of a smile crossed Ginny's face, but Snape continued

"But I have never met another, as, interesting as you of course."

Ginny felt a swell of flattery overcome her, Snape seemed to notice the change in her mood and smiled. "You can talk too you know,"

***

Harry and Luna entered the grounds. Luna panting as she struggled to keep up with Harry's quickened pace.

"Did you see those two, over there?" Harry pointed across the grounds and just caught the shadows of two people entering the Forbidden Forest.

"It looked like Ginny." Harry exclaimed, however Luna raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know, I couldn't tell from here," She told him, but Harry did not listen, he was already storming in the direction of the Forest.

***

"I think we are moving to fast," Ginny told him, with a sad look. "And I am already another's."

"Potter," Snape spat in disgust.

Ginny nodded, looking downcast. Snape felt a jealous rage build within him.

"What do you see in him?" Snape snarled and Ginny shrugged feeling her own anger boil in her blood.

"Well I was going to say," She said in a venomous voice, "that I would end it with him." She glared at Snape who recoiled, a look of disbelief in his eyes.

"Break up with him? For me?"

Ginny looked at him hardly.

"Well I was going too, but if you're going to attack me-"

"I'm Sorry," Snape said hastily, cutting her off. Ginny let a smirk cross her lips.

"I knew you would be." She laughed and moved closer to him, the last thing she cared about was Harry now, she had already broken the no cheating rule, it wouldn't hurt if she broke it once more.

***

Harry fought his way through the undergrowth, Luna at his side, looking mildly interested. Harry's head was filled with conflicting thoughts.

Why would Ginny go off in the Forest with another?

The tree line thinned and he heard a voice, Ginny's voice. She was just beyond the trees. Harry's heart swelled as he pushed his way through the last bit of undergrowth and into the clearing.

"SNAPE!" He roared as Ginny pulled away from Snape.

Harry stood there, shaking with shock and rage as he stared at the guilty face of Ginny. He had just walked in on her kissing Snape.

Betraying him for Snape.

Authors Notes: Sorry that it took so long to update, I have had to attend to matters that were outside of my control. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Thanks to everyone who is reading and Reviewing. Thanks for your support.

Hugs and Kisses

Cager.