Mikey woke up at seven a.m. on December 24 and got up quietly, so that he wouldn't wake his sleeping brothers. He headed to the kitchen, determined that he'd still celebrate Christmas, even if others weren't in the mood. He badly needed something to cheer him up after all the drama and what better way than Christmas?
XXXX
Mikey got out his baking equipment and was mixing batter for his turtle gingerbread men, when Leo padded into the kitchen.
"Morning, Leo," Mikey said cheerfully. "Isn't it a lovely day?"
"What's lovely about it, Mikey? It's just like any other shit day without Karai," Leo snapped.
"It's Christmas, dude. I'm making my gingerbread men and all the treats we love. Want to help? You know you love licking the bowls."
"I'm not in the mood," Leo said sourly and went to the counter to brew mint tea.
"But you love Christmas! It's your favorite holiday."
"I'm not in the mood to celebrate! Would you be if you'd lost your love?" Leo hissed, whirling around and shooting daggers at Mikey. "You have as much sensitivity as a fucking rock. How can you expect me just to act like everything is okay and fucking celebrate? It's not okay and never will be! You can thank Raphael for that!"
"Back off Mikey," Raphael said softly, entering the kitchen and seeing Mikey's eyes brimming with tears. "He's just tryin' ta make things better the way he knows how. He don't mean ta be insensitive, Leo. I've explained how ya feel and…"
"You have no idea how I fucking feel!" Leo yelled. "No one does, so don't you fucking speak for me, Raphael! I'm going to my room. I'm not celebrating this farce of a holiday. What the hell do I have to celebrate, huh? A lifetime of no Karai and sharing a house with a rapist and a murderer? Don't look at me that way, Mikey. Raphael is both and I most certainly am not sitting around a table celebrating Christmas with him, when I fucking despise him."
"Yer right, Leo, but this holiday's important ta Mikey. Sit at the dinner table with him. I won't be there."
"Got more people to murder and rape?" Leo said sarcastically.
"STOP IT!" Mikey screamed. "Damn you guys. Leo, I understand you're mad at Raph, but this is Christmas and all we have is each other. Please sit at the same table. You don't have to talk to one another, but please. This is important to me. Please, please. You can go back to your feud after Christmas if you have to. Casey and April are coming over tomorrow and I'm planning on going all out. Please!"
Mikey turned his puppy dog eyes on his brothers, who'd never been able to refuse him.
"Fine," Leo growled. "I'll pretend for you, Mikey." He grabbed his now brewed tea and stomped off to his room.
"What about you, Raph?" Mikey asked.
"I don't feel like celebratin', Mikey, but I'll pretend for ya. Now, what do ya want me ta do?"
"Stir this, while I get breakfast going. I'm making pumpkin fritters, bacon, eggs and hash browns, so I hope you're hungry."
Raphael smiled at his brother's enthusiasm and thought, Mikey's heart's in the right place. Bless him. I hope Leo don't create a scene and ruins things for him.
Don joined them a few minutes later and said, "Smells awesome in here. What are you making, Mikey?"
"Pumpkin fritters, hash browns, eggs and bacon and Raph's stirring the gingerbread men mix. I'm making roast pork, apple sauce, mashed potatoes and squash for tonight. The turkey's defrosting and we're having sage stuffing, brussel sprouts, hasselback potatoes, carrots and salad with it tomorrow. I also hope to make my mince pies, a blackcurrant cheesecake, apple strudels, raspberry tarts and a key lime pie that Leo loves so much. It's a lot, but I should it get done if you all chip in. I want you guys to also decorate the lair, so it's more festive."
"You got it. How's Leo this morning? Have you seen him?"
"Leo was pissy, but he said he'd join in. Donnie, peel the apples. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes or so."
The brothers worked on their designated jobs and when breakfast was ready, Don went to get Leo.
XXXX
Don knocked on Leo's door and said, "Breakfast's ready, Leo."
Leo opened the door and said, "I'm only doing this for Mikey."
The leader pushed past Don and went to the kitchen.
Don sighed and thought, as he followed Leo, this is going to be a dreadful Christmas. I just know it.
XXXX
The brothers tucked in to breakfast, but other than Mikey and Don's valiant efforts to make conversation, nothing was said, the tension thick and unbearable.
"So," Mikey said. "Have you guys finished wrapping your presents?"
"No. I got a few things ta get still," Raphael said sheepishly. "I'm heading' out late tonight."
"Don't bother getting me anything," Leo said coldly. "Because you're not getting shit from me."
"Leo, you said you'd join in," Mikey said. "That includes presents. Please. You have to…."
"I did, but I didn't say I'd get that a present and I won't. It's one thing faking we're a happy family for your benefit, Mikey, but presents? Really? I won't. I'm done and am going to meditate. See you at dinner!"
Leo got up and stalked to his room.
"I'll talk to him," Donnie said.
"Don't, Donnie," Raphael said. "Think how he's feelin'. Ya asked him ta celebrate Christmas with the person he hates most. He's doin' it, because he loves ya guys. That says a lot 'bout his character and he's already doin' enough, okay? Drop the present thing. It don't matter."
"But it does, Raph. We always get one another gifts," Mikey said.
"Sure, but the real meanin' of Christmas is family, Mike, and Leo bein' at the table with us and bein' there is enough. Push him anymore and he might leave. He ain't in no frame of mind ta be alone, because there's no tellin' what he might do if he snaps again. PTSD and all that. Do ya understand? So go easy on him."
"You're so smart," Don said. "Perceptive and mature, Raph, and your love for Leo shines through. I'm stunned."
Raphael shrugged and said, "There are more layers ta me than ya think. Always have been and I'll always love Leo, even if he loathes me forever. I'll wash up. Ya guys get back ta work."
Raphael cleared the dishes and washed up, while the others returned to their assigned tasks.
XXXX
Leo punched a practice dummy in his room he'd set up for the rare moments he experienced immense rage and then he decided to go out. If Mikey wanted him to get presents, he would and he knew just the one for Raphael. Of course, it'd create a ton of friction, but it'd be worth it when he saw Raphael's facial expression. One of shock and mortification that his big brother could be so callous.
Leo left the lair and searched for the chamber in which Raphael had imprisoned him. It took him a long time and he wasn't sure it was the right one, but he knew it was when the strong scent of death filled his nostrils, as he stood at the entrance. Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and went inside.
XXXX
The room stank of sweat, sex and putrefaction and Leo wrinkled his beak in disgust. This was definitely the place, where he'd endured the unspeakable and lost his beloved.
Leo spied Karai's head in the corner and a mixture of emotions coursed through him: grief, rage, love and revulsion. That was all that remained of her.
Trying not to vomit, he forced himself to look at her more closely, trying to see what he'd loved so much when she'd been alive, but all he saw was her face twisted in a grisly smile and her unseeing eyes. Eyes that had radiated immense love for him.
A corpse on the verge of decomposition. That was all she was now. He'd never hear her laugh or feel her warm embrace again.
Sinking to his knees, Leo let out an anguished howl and wept for her, for them and for their shattered dreams.
Dreams that had been destroyed, because of Raphael.
"I love you, Karai," Leo choked out, tears streaming down his cheeks. He picked up the head, cradled it to his plastron and said, "I love you so much and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'll never stop blaming myself and I'll never stop loving you and missing you with every fiber of my being."
A worm slithered out of her left eye socket and peered at Leo.
"Ugh!" Leo said and shivered in revulsion, as he dropped the head, which rolled a few feet away. "I can't believe this is all you are now, my baby. Worm food. We had so many plans and now…Now there's only me. How am I supposed to cope without you, my love? How? And I swear that Raphael will pay. Not now maybe, but he will pay. I owe you that much. Now I'm sorry, my love. There's something I have to do, which is wrap you up for Raphael. What do you think about that as a gift? I know you agree, right? Of course you do. You'd think the fucker deserves it. He does and so much more."
Leo picked up the head and walked home.
XXXX
Leo didn't see anyone around when he arrived home and he went to his room.
XXXX
Leo got out red and green Christmas paper from his cupboard and carefully wrapped up the head. He added a Christmas card on the front of the present with the words "Merry Christmas, Raphael. Love Leo."
Hahaha, Leo thought. I can't wait to see his expression. He placed the head on his desk and went to meditate.
XXXX
Dinner was a bit more cheerful, with Leo even joining in the conversation to his brothers' surprise and delight.
Leo talked about a movie he wanted to see and he even made brief conversation with Raphael about a book he'd read and told him he should read it.
Raphael was pleased, but he had a sinking feeling that the peaceful atmosphere wouldn't last.
Carols played on the CD player in the lounge, the lair was festively decorated, some presents were under the tree and a lot of the baking had been done, which was in the fridge. All that needed to be done were the apple strudels and the blackcurrant cheesecake. It was definitely starting to feel like Christmas.
"This is fabulous, Mikey," Leo enthused, as he speared another piece of pork. "Thank you."
"No problem, dude. Are we going to check out the Christmas lights later?"
"I'll try ta after the shoppin'," Raphael said. "I hope ta be done by ten. The shops close at eleven tonight. I'm takin' a risk with humans out, but I got no choice and I don't wanna wait until after Christmas. It ain't the same, ya know."
"I'll go," Leo said. "I love the Christmas lights in the city. So did Karai, who'd have been there in a nanosecond this year."
There was thick silence, as everyone digested his words, a not so subtle reminder that she would have been there had it not been for Raphael.
"Everyone done?" Mikey asked. "I'll wash up."
"No. I got it," Raphael said quickly, desperate to escape the table, Leo's dig feeling like a dagger to his heart.
Leo, Donnie and Mikey rose from the table and went to dress for their excursion.
Raphael washed the dishes and then went to his room to get ready for his shopping trip.
XXXX
Raphael left the lair in his trench coat, red scarf and fedora, walked through the tunnels and climbed up a manhole. There was no one around at that moment, but he didn't have much time before the shops closed, so he made a beeline to his favorite store.
XXXX
Raphael went inside the store, taking care that no one saw his face, and wandered up and down the aisles, debating what to get his brothers.
He settled on a new digital camera and calligraphy brushes for Leo, jigsaw puzzles for Don and a French and Thai cook book for Mikey, who'd expressed interest in cooking new cuisines. He placed them all in his basket. Thrilled he'd found great gifts for his brothers, Raphael couldn't resist looking at the kids' toys.
Raphael smiled, when he saw a plush Turtle toy and thought, that's so cute. The baby would love it. Raph, you don't even know if there is a kid and yer buyin' it a toy. Ya really are a sap, ain't ya? Well, I don't care. I'm gettin' it.
Raphael placed the plush in the basket and stood in the queue to pay. It was soon his turn. He quickly paid, left the store and hurried to meet his brothers near Central Park, where they always gathered on Christmas Eve to gaze at the lights.
XXXX
Raphael met his brothers and they walked the streets for a while, admiring the lights. Then they went home.
XXXX
The brothers arrived home sometime later and went to their bedrooms.
XXXX
Raphael wrapped up the presents and then he climbed into bed.
I hope they love what I got, he thought. He closed his eyes and was soon asleep.
XXXX
Mikey had made blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast on Christmas Day.
Everyone chatted amiably at the kitchen table. Even Leo, who smiled a lot and made a point of chatting to Raphael, so no one would suspect what he was about to do.
Mikey was over the moon that Christmas was going so well and he'd thanked Leo several times for making the effort, when he knew it was tough to do so.
Leo had merely smiled and said that it was his pleasure and it was the least he could do for his brother, who always did so much for them.
Breakfast was soon over.
Raphael washed up the dishes and thought, Leo's been awesome, but I can't help thinkin' that a storm's brewin'. I hope not. I don't care 'bout me, but it'll hurt Mikey, who's worked so hard ta make it amazin'. Leo, please don't cause shit. Let's just get through today and then ya can go back ta hatin' me.
XXXX
The family had decided to do the presents when Casey and April had arrived, which they did at ten.
All the presents were now under the tree, including Raphael's 'special' one.
"Great. Now we're all here, I can be Santa," Mikey declared. "It's my turn!"
"Bull dust. It's mine," Donnie said. "Don't sulk, Mikey!"
Mikey scowled and went to sit on the sofa with Raphael.
Casey and April sat on another sofa with Leo.
Nearly show time, Leo thought gleefully. This is going to be so much fun.
Donnie picked up a pink box, handed it to April and said, "This is for you, April."
"Thanks," April said and took it. She opened it and withdrew a pink negligee. "You're so thoughtful," she said and smiled. "I love it. Thanks, Case."
"My pleasure. It's a gift for us both. You'll look hot in it!"
"TMI!" Donnie said. "Get a room. Mikey, here's one for you," he added and handed Mikey a gold wrapped box.
Mikey shook it, opened and said happily, "Leo, you got me the apron I wanted, which says kiss the chef! Thanks so much!"
"My pleasure, Mikey."
"Oh. Here's one for Raph," Donnie said and picked up the one Leo had wrapped. "Here you go, Raph," he said, handing it to the volatile turtle. "It's from Leo."
"Oh, Leo, ya didn't gotta," Raphael said. "Thank ya."
"I know, but I wanted to. You deserve a present. You've done so much for me. It's the least I can do to say thanks and it's Christmas after all. How could I not get you anything?"
An excited Raphael carefully unwrapped his gift, thinking how wonderful it was of his big brother to get him something after all, despite the conflict. It said a lot about Leo's character.
Raphael blanched, his eyes widened in shock, his mouth open in abject horror and his stomach lurched, when he saw Karai's head.
He'd been right. A storm had been brewing and his big brother was still pissed. Leo's niceness had been a charade and he'd planned this all along.
"What is it, Raph?" a concerned Donnie asked, as the others studied Raphael.
Leo chuckled and said, "Don't like it, little bro? It's a gift from me and Karai with our love."
A nauseated Raphael dropped the head, which rolled to Donnie's feet, making the genius pale.
Raphael retched, his heart shattered.
"What's that?" Casey asked anxiously.
"Is that Karai?" April asked in bewilderment. "How the hell did..?"
"Leo, how could you?" Mikey shouted, his blue eyes flashing. "You promised…."
"Shut the fuck up, Mike," Leo yelled. "That is Karai, my love. Raphael murdered her after he raped me and I'm tired of pretending we're a united family. We aren't and never will be. Go on, Raphael. Admit what you did and be a man. You thought I'd forgive you and buy you a present after all you did, you fucking bastard? I never will, Raphael. I fucking hate you and I hope you die. That'd be the best present I could receive. Merry fucking Christmas to you all."
Leo picked up the head and left the lair.
A devastated Raphael staggered to his feet and bolted out of the lair, unable to look at his friends, whom he suspected probably now despised him.
"Christmas is ruined!" Mikey wailed. "I worked so hard to make it special and….Leo, how could he do that? How? Now Raph's gone!"
"I'll go after him, Mike," Donnie said. "You stay with Casey and April. I'm sorry, guys. I had no idea Leo would pull a stunt like that."
"Is it true, Donnie?" April asked.
"Yes, but it wasn't Raph's fault. Mike will explain," Don said and left the lair.
I hope I find Raph, Don thought. And that I can convince him to come home. What a fucking awful Christmas. This is the worst ever. Poor Raph. Please let me find him.
A/N Can Donnie convince Raphael to come home?