Chapter 10: All the Little Pieces

The door to Carlisle's study slammed shut with too much force. The whole house shook. He paced from one side of the room to the other. A crash sounded as he threw a bookcase to the ground. He grabbed a new leather chair and chucked it through the wall.

"What are you doing!?!" Esme shouted as she pulled the door open. Her eyes were wide as she took in her husband's appearance. It was the first time she had ever truly been scared of him. His hair was wild, clothes ripped, and eyes pitch black. He looked wild and raw. Carlisle shoved his desk. It went flying through the wall and onto the lawn below, smashing. "Carlisle, stop it! What has gotten into you?" He didn't seem to hear her as he threw another chair out of the house. "I don't know why you're so angry. Edward didn't mean to kill that girl." Her words only seemed to add fuel to the fire. "It was just a slip up."

"You need to calm down, Carlisle." Jasper said from the doorway, Alice beside him. When he didn't respond Jasper sent out soothing waves of tranquility. Carlisle fell to the ground slowly, leaning against the wall. No one moved for a solid minute, until Carlisle suddenly broke down. Jasper gaped as Carlisle cried. Esme zoomed to his side and kneeled.

"What's wrong?" Esme crooned as she ran her fingers through Carlisle's hair. He froze under her touch and Jasper cringed at all the emotions Carlisle was putting off.

"I don't know what's wrong, just, just please don't touch me, Esme" She halted her ministration. Her fingers twitched between his golden locks. Carlisle growled lowly and Esme pulled her hand back and cupped it as if it had been burned.

"Wha-what?" She stuttered. Carlisle's eyes were glazed over as he looked at the opposite wall, wordlessly. "Carlisle?" He didn't respond to her whispers.

Rain was a common factor. It was beating down on the Cullen household, the only noise permeating it. Alice sat in Jasper's lap as he worked out the finer details of why Edward was still missing from high school. Esme was plastering the walls in Carlisle's office while he was working mindlessly at the hospital.

Rain pelted down on Edward as he tried to catch any scent of Bella. A single footprint in the mud had sparked his hope, but it was quickly dying again. A week of searching and all he came up with was a single footprint and a few drained bodies.

Guilt and fear plagued his soul. He was so scared that he wouldn't catch her, that the blood would take her over, and that she would hate him more when she figured out what he turned her into.

The guilt was worse though. He had taken her soul. Edward let his selfishness take over and now she was without the one thing that was irreplaceable.

The rain turned into a drizzle over Edward's head almost at the same moment it quickened over Bella's head, three states over.

Her red eyes looked to the sky, amazed by her enhanced eyesight as a limp body fell out of her hands. In that brief moment of clarity when the thirst wasn't gnawing at her sanity anguish enveloped her. Lives had ended by her hands and Bella didn't know what to make of it. Her mind did not want to acknowledge her sins, but when it was clear the thoughts came.

'Vampire, vampire, vampire.' Her body convulsed. Bella didn't know what to do. She was a murderer and could never go home because of it. Too much blood was on her hands already, she couldn't stand to see Charlie's blood there as well.

The burn was going to return again. Bella knew that from experience. She ran, away from civilization and her thoughts.

Human blood covered Carlisle's hands. He looked at the dead body in front of him with a blank stare.

"Time of death, 18:09." The doctor beside Carlisle called out. Carlisle walked to the sink and watched the blood run down the drain. "You seem a bit out of it, Carlisle. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I think I'm just coming down with a cold." Carlisle continued washing his hands, eyes downcast.

"You do look a bit pale." Carlisle snorted loudly, scraping the blood from under his fingernails. His colleague looked at him strange. "Maybe you should head home early."

"I'd rather stay here a bit longer." He shut off the faucet.

"You've already pulled a double shift. You'll be a liability to the hospital if you work any longer." Carlisle was silent as he dried his hands.

"I'll clock out then. I need to pick up some groceries anyway." Carlisle flinched when he realized what he said. Dr. Andrews nodded and left.

'Mr. Grocery Store' He let out a humorless chuckle.

This woman, this human was messing with his mind. She wouldn't get out of his thoughts.

'Bella'

The mere thought of her name made him hurt in a strange way, and then there was Edward.

Fury rushed through Carlisle. He didn't understand it. Edward had various slip ups, but none of them had affected him like this. A tendril of guilt went to his heart. Everyone in his family kept saying he was overreacting, but every time he thought back on it anger snuffed out his guilt.

In his mind Edward deserved worse than banishment. Carlisle's self-restraint was the only thing that kept him from killing Edward.

Carlisle didn't know where all the anger and hatred was coming from. He sat in the hospital parking lot for an hour, just thinking, but he didn't come up with anything.

The engine purred to life and he drove home at a slow pace, a few cars passing him on his way.

The house was silent as he walked through the front door. Esme was sitting on the stairs, her hands clasped tightly.

"Where is Alice and Jasper?" Carlisle asked as he sat his briefcase down.

"Jasper went hunting and Alice went to go pick up Rosalie and Emmett." Esme was watching Carlisle carefully.

"Rose and Emmett are coming home?"

"Yes, when they heard what happened…" Carlisle nodded and shifted awkwardly on his feet. "Carlisle," he looked Esme in the eyes for the first time since he got home, "are we, are we going to be alright."

Carlisle breath halted when he saw the sorrow in her eyes. He quickly walked to her side and cupped her face in his hands. There was a strained smile on his face.

"Everything, Esme, everything is going to be alright." Esme's eyes light up, she let out a relieved sigh and threw her arms around him.

Carlisle let out a sigh of his own and rubbed her back, not believing his own words.

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