CHAPTER NINE

So I'm going to try and update once a week, probably on Saturdays or Sundays, mainly because of school. But if i have spare time during the week I'll update sooner. So please be patient. :) But I will try my hardest to update as much as possible!

nicolededahh: Oh okay! I have a general idea of where that is! And thank you! :)

TwlightatMidnight: Thank you very much! :D

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight.

CHAPTER NINE

I pulled up to the garage and parked my car. The movie was stupid and I didn't really pay any attention to it. Shane and I mostly talked-well whispered- in the back of the theatre while the movie was playing. But dinner with Dorthy was wonderful. It was nice, I got to talk to her a lot, and find out a lot about her history. Like how she became a U.S. Marshall. It was really interesting.

I walked up to the front porch when the scent of Jacob Black hit me. I frowned. I was still mad at him, but he was still my best friend. I loved him, and I didn't hate him. And I felt bad for hurting him earlier, but I didn't forgive him for what he did to me. And maybe I was just overreacting. I think I got that from my father. But he still told everyone about a girl who was a half vampire and half human after I asked him not to and that deserved consequences.

I walked in the front door and went to the living room where I could hear Alice and Jasper talking. Suddenly I felt extremely calm. Of course Jasper would feel how agitated I was, I just wished that sometimes he would allow me to feel the feelings I was feeling.

"Jasper." I said calmly, but he knew what I wanted. The coat of calm was released off of me, and I went to sit down. "Thank you."

"Jacob is in your room." Alice said quietly. She had a worried look on her face.

"I need a minute before I go up there. I don't know what to say to him though." I said. Do I stay mad at him? Do I forgive him for everything and have things go back to normal? Could we go back to normal? Were we even normal? Vampires and werewolves weren't even supposed to exist. That's not what I would call normal.

Jasper and Alice just sat on the couch watching Project Runway. One of Alice's favorite shows, but of coarse it wasn't like she could go on the show. Although I'm sure if she could, she would most definitely win. She was murmuring something about how bad a dress was to Jasper who sat there looking really bored. The only reason he watched these shows with her was so that they could just have sometime together that wasn't constantly being interrupted by the crazy outside life that surrounded us all the time.

I slowly got up from the couch as I gathered my jumbled thoughts, and walked up the stairs to my room. I reached my door and stood outside of it taking a deep breath. I reached for the door knob, but Jacob was faster. The door quickly opened and I was staring Jacob in the face. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him and walked me over to the bed and pushed me softly onto the edge. Then walked back to the door and quietly closed it.

"Nessie listen, I'm really sorry." He looked at me apologetic. I believed he was sorry, but he wasn't getting off that easily.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked.

"For telling your secret-even though I didn't expose you- and for getting mad at you for going out with Shane." He said. He sat down next to me and grabbed my hands and starred me directly in the eyes. "You have to believe me, I really am sorry. There is just so much I want to tell you-no need to tell you- but can't."

I didn't really understand that. "What are you talking about? Jake you can tell me anything, you know that." I starred back at him, now truly confused. Why was he keeping secrets from me? Jacob knew all of mine; of course with a mind reader as your father, there aren't any secrets that I can keep.

It was quiet for a minute before he said anything. "I know, but I made a promise, and I'm not going to break it. I don't like to break promises. I've done it in the past, and it ends up hurting the other person who I made the promise to." He looked down at his lap, frowning. "Listen I need you to know this…" He paused, "I love you."

"I love you too Jacob." I looked at him confused.

"No, not the same way. And maybe you won't, but maybe you'll realize that I'm the guy for you. I can be with you for the rest of your life, and Shane can't. He's human Nessie, and you can't change that."

Tears started forming in my eyes. He was right, Shane was human, and he couldn't live forever. And Jake could be with me for the rest of my life. As long as he kept phasing, he could stay the same age forever. "What do you mean 'not the same way'?" I asked, although I had a pretty good idea.

"Nessie, I love you. I'm in love with you." He looked up from his lap and into my eyes. "And one day you'll realize that you love me too, and that I'm the guy you should be with."

My tears were coming down like a waterfall. "Please… stop." I couldn't take it. I loved Shane, how could he say these things to me? "Why?"

"Why what?" he asked still looking into my eyes.

"Why do you say these things? You know I love Shane." He winced. I felt bad. I didn't want to hurt him, he was my best friend. And in a way he was more than a friend, but I couldn't return the love that he felt for me. Maybe in time, after Shane was out of my life forever, I might realize that Jacob was the one for me. But right now I didn't want to see that future, I liked living in the present.

"Because Nessie, I love you and-"

I cut him off. "Stop saying that." I was full on crying now, and I couldn't stop.

He frowned. "And because I'm looking out for whats best for you. Shane will get older, and you will stay the same forever. I mean look at Nahuel, he looks like he's eighteen, and he's been that way for a very long time."

"I know. But can't I just believe for a little bit that I can be with Shane forever?" I asked, doubt filling my throat.

"But it will hurt more later on, if you keep living this fantasy. It can never last, and you know it, and you're messing with his feelings. You're leading him on, to believe that you two can be together forever."

His words were harsh, but I knew that they were true. I couldn't stay with Shane forever. But I wanted to. I wanted to be with him forever. But it wasn't possible, unless he were to become a vampire; there was no possible way for us to live a life together. "What do I do? I love him Jacob, I can't forget about him." My tears were falling less and less, but I was still crying.

"Well for now, I think it's best that we stay friends. And you have to make up your own decision about Shane, I can't help you there. And I'm extremely sorry for hurting you but for now let's just be friends. But I'm not promising you that it will go back to normal, but we can try." He smiled at me.

By this time I had stopped crying, and I smiled back at him. "Agreed, we will try to go back to normal." I sniffed.

Then Jacob stood up and pulled me up with him. He gave me a big hug, and without another word left my room. I sat down on my bed thinking about what had just happened. I was trying to organize my thoughts. That's when my mom walked in. She didn't say anything at first, but just came and sat down next to me on my bed and hugged me.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

"Yes I'll be fine. I just don't know what to do." I looked at her, hoping she would tell me what I should do.

"Do you love Shane?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Then you should stay together with him. But I will warn you, unless you intend on telling him the truth, your relationship with him will never work."

"Mom, I want to be with him, but what about after I graduate. Won't we leave? What will happen then? I couldn't just leave him. Mom, you should know what I'm talking about; you said that when Dad left you, you said it was the worst feeling you ever had. What if that's how I will feel?" I was now worried about the future. So much for me living in the present.

"That's true, it was the worst feeling I had ever felt. But the relationship I had with your father was special. It's different with everyone. And yes we will leave after you graduate, but there will be many choices that you will have to make before then, and those choices will decide what happens in your future." She smiled at me. "I know I'm sounding really motherly right now, but I don't want you to get hurt." Then she hugged me once more.

"Thanks mom." I hugged her back.

"Your welcome, and remember, whatever your decision, your Dad and I will support you." Then she walked out of the room leaving me alone again with my thoughts.

What was I going to do? I did love Shane, but I didn't want to hurt myself, more importantly, I didn't want to hurt him. But I didn't want to be away from him either. This was too hard. Why did I always have to make my own decisions? And my Mom said that in order to have my relationship with Shane, i would have to tell him everything, but i wasn't so sure if i could do that. I was too scared of what Shane might think of me. This was too hard. I picked up my phone, and dialed the familiar number. The phone rang twice before he answered.

"Hello?" Shane's dreamy voice flowed through the phone.

"Hey it's me. I was wondering if you wanted to get breakfast tomorrow morning before school started?" Hopefully that would give me enough time to figure out exactly what I was going to do.

"I would love to." He replied. "Where at?"

"How about that small café on 5th street?"

"Okay. About seven you think?" He asked.

"Sounds great. Love you, see you in the morning."

"Love you too." Then he hung up.

What was I going to do?

A/N: Tell me what you think? And please give me some ideas or suggestions for the story, I love to hear them!! :) (Sorry it's kind of short, hopefully longer next time!) ANYWAYS, PLEASE REVIEW! I WOULD APPRECIATE IT!! :D