~Really Not Fine At All~

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays to all!

Really wanted to update this sooner but well, life/holidays that's all I probably need to say!

A/N: To hopefully avoid confusion, this chapter starts off on the same Monday morning that's in the last few chapters. This POV is a bit longer cause I got caught up in Andy's dream and didn't want to cut anything! Sorry, not sorry:0

Andy's POV

His Monday started off on the wrong foot, he hadn't been in a good mood all morning and Sharon coming into the office with a happy carefree attitude didn't help Andy's attitude at all. It all started when he picked his partner up for work, on Provenza's insisting. Getting in the car and closing the door he started right in on him, "ok Flynn, you know what you're going to do right?"

"I know you think you have a plan Louie, but I'm not going along with it. I get it, she not interested in me and I'm adult enough to handle working with her," Andy told him as he pulled into traffic. It was quiet in the car for a while they usually didn't talk much on the way to work unless you count Andy sitting and listening to Provenza complain about everything and everyone.

Andy was watching the road, but from the corner of his eye he heard more than saw his partner take a deep breath and let it out. Knowing he was going to get chewed out again. "Flynn, you always were an idiot. I tell you to leave her alone, to stay away from her. I try to help keep your mind off of our captain and what do you do? You turn it around and mess it up more. Now, you two can't even be in the same room together, hardly talk unless it's about a case and only barely then. I'm not going to continue being the go between for the two of you. You want to talk to her, talk to her your damn self. I can't believe I'm telling you this but..." Provenza paused for a few seconds preparing him for what was coming next. "Ok, here it is, but you're probably just what the Captain needs," Louie could see he just shocked his friend.

"What? What are you saying?" Andy questioned back when he could finally got over the impact of what was just said to him. He slowly eased into parking spot near LAPD headquarters and parked. He turned his attention fully to the craziness his partner was admitting to.

"Flynn, I've been trying to keep you away from that woman for a few reasons, besides the obvious one, where this could ruin both your careers. We've had a good thing going for years. I didn't want to lose my wing-man. Who the heck will go to the bars with me, watch me drink and pick up hot young girls?" Provenza asked him.

With that Andy laughed, for being such a grumpy old man the guy was a good friend and meant well in his own way. "Maybe, you could start taking Sanchez with you, he needs to get out there and start dating."

"Very funny, he does fine on his own. Seriously, the Captain would do well to get a guy like you." He saw Andy was shocked again. This is the most personal they've talked in their whole friendship, he could understand him being surprised by all he had said. "Look Andy, I'm tired of seeing you miserable. My life's goal when the Wicked Witch first took over my job as head of Major Crimes was to make her life miserable but not yours."

Andy held his hand up to stop him but Provenza continued, "yeah, yeah I know I was never officially in charge, but still and I know she's not that wicked anymore. We've taught her to use her powers for good not evil."

Knowing he'd never forget the job stealing part, Andy just smiled and let him go on with this unbelievable lecture. His friend continued to explained his reasoning to him. "She's been put through hell from Jack financially, mentally and emotionally. Whereas you are loyal as they come. We all know you'd never hurt her that way. You have fixed up your life, she sees that your trying and I can tell that speaks a lot with her." Provenza opened his car door, put on his white bucket hat and got out of the car. As they both closed their doors, he leaned over the roof and told Andy, "I'll never admit to any of this, so don't bother telling anyone. You're both probably what the other one needs. You seem to make each other happy, when you're not both mopping around and avoiding the other. E'gads, just stubborn idiots and we can't go on working this way," he waved his finger at Andy. "So, you need to figure this out. Either be friends or something more, but do it soon. I don't want another Gabriel and Daniels happening to the Major Crimes Division. Ok, that's it, that all I'm saying on this matter."

Still in a little bit of flabbergasted but slowly coming around Andy, met him at the front of the car and patted his longtime friend on the back. "Thanks Louie and I'll never tell a soul, heck they'd never believe me anyways," Andy laughed as they walked to the front doors.

"Here's the plan as I said after the game yesterday, is for you to stop following her around like a puppy dog. Make her want to follow you around, try playing hard to get instead of throwing yourself at her. Ever think of that?" Provenza told him as they waited for the elevator.

"You just can't stop yourself can you? I thought that was all you were going to say on the matter?" Andy asked through his laughter.

Provenza huffed, "I have to help a friend out, Lord knows you'll find some way to screw it up. So, ease back a little, play it cool and let her come to you."

They were both quiet as they walked into the building, waited for the elevator stepping in when it opened. Andy pressed the button to their divisions and said sadly, "I think it's too late for any of that. Anyways, Sharon thinks we are just friends."

The elevator doors opened to their floor and his partner asked as they walked, "then you tell me why she's been miserable for the last few weeks especially when Miss Cindi comes for a visit? Huh, can you tell me that?" He mumbled another, "idiot" as he entered the Murder Room.

What Provenza said got Andy thinking was he saying she was jealous? No way! Sharon had nothing to be jealous over Cindi for. For her to be jealous that would have to mean she liked him more than a friend. Nope, she had lots of chances to admit to feeling more, though he did know it was hard for her to let her emotions out, let alone tell someone how she felt. He had thought they were good enough friends to get there eventually. Andy just didn't count on her meeting someone else before they got that far. Sharon seemed fine as they were. He needed to get used to being fine with just being her friend. He understood Provenza's plan but it would never work if she were dating someone else. Even though the talk helped it was hard to pull himself out of the funk he was in. He sat at his desk to start tackling the paperwork involved with their last case.

It was harder still with her looking stunning in the red dress she was wearing. He knew it was new and so were the shoes. Sharon had taken off her blazer as the morning went along. Andy noticed right from the start that the dress was tighter and shorter than her usual style, showing off her amazing figure. It seemed as if her hair shined brighter too, the light would hit it showing off the red in it. It was all he could do just to stay away from her.

If Andy didn't know better he would almost think that Sharon was actually flirting with him, but he had to be wrong about that, because he knew it just wasn't something she did. He didn't think Sharon had it in her to flirt. It would be something she didn't have time for, a silly no nonsense kind of thing to her. Even though it did come naturally for her, he just didn't think she knew when she was flirting or not. It didn't help his attitude that her good but strange mood was because the new guy she met. Andy could've sworn at one point when the team was discussing, the undeserving of his position, people stepping and media hungry Assistant Chief Taylor cracking down on them for staying late, that he heard Sharon giggle. Andy raised one eyebrow up in question and looked at Sanchez, but the detective gave him a shoulder shrug as if he was saying he didn't know what was going on.

As the day progressed it got rougher, he would catch Sharon's scent every time she passed his desk and dear God did she smelled amazing. Andy would have sworn it was the perfume she wore when they went to special events or fancier dinners. He had mentioned to her once how much he liked it, but now he didn't care for the fact that she was wearing it for that moron. He figured Sharon probably had plans right after work that would explain why she was dressed today. It almost felt like she was torturing him. Was she trying to drive him insane? Showing him what he had missed out on? Was she trying to flaunt that she was fine and happy with this new guy. Throughout the day, Andy did his best to focus on work and keep distance between his captain. Once she had approached his desk and was he handing her the paperwork she asked for and their hands briefly touched sending a spark straight through his fingers igniting a fire in him. It was so electrifying that he practically yanked it back to get his hand away from hers. He could see she was a bit shocked at his abrupt reaction and he felt bad. It was all getting too hard to deal with and he just stormed away from her.

A bit later when Sharon had basically trapped him in her office, asking him to come in using the pretense of finalizing the report they needed to get the case wrapped up. She was leaning back against her desk, twirling her glasses in her hand. He figured it was a nervous thing she was doing more than a flirting gesture. Andy had noticed earlier her new dress had no pockets. As great as it looked on her he was surprised that she'd take off her jacket if the dress had no place to hide her hands. He knew her well enough that pockets were a comfort to her and she looked like she needed that now.

She surprised him when she asked him, "Andy, is there anyway, we can talk about all this?"

He took a quick glance up to her eyes. Without her glasses on he could see what an amazing green they were, but he already knew that he was always amazed with her eyes and how they changed hues. When she was in Darth Raydor mood they were deep emerald green. That was his favorite shade they turned. Probably why he liked to cause her so much trouble when she was head of IA. He realized he was using the word amazing a lot about her. It was a very accurate word to use if it involved describing this woman in front of him.

Andy had to take a step back to put space between them, because it was almost too hard to resist the pull she had on him. He looked down at his shoes just so he could think. He didn't really want to talk about all this with her, especially now when he was in a bad mood and she seemed so happy, well until now she had been happy. "It's ok, I understand, you don't have to explain anything. I get it, you're fine. I'm fine." He told her so he didn't have to hear about this other guy and that their non-date dinners and stuff were going to stop. "We're friends Sharon and no matter what happens, that won't change for me. I'll be here for you, whenever you need me."

He looked at her through the corner of his eye, Andy couldn't dare to make eye contact with her or he would probably say something he'd regret, like, what are you doing dating an idiot dirt-bag? He can't possible know you like I know you and how he wanted to punch the moron in the face, but he kept his mouth shut and let her talk. "Andy, that's what I'm trying to get to, about us being friends that is. We really can't do this here. Can't we meet for lunch or dinner and talk, you pick, I'll buy, hmmm?"

In his quick glances at Sharon she looked adorable when she was trying to be funny. As she said, "I'll buy," she gave a little shoulder shrug and a lopsided smile. He must be rubbing off on her. It was just another sign they were spending too much time together. It would be hard for him to say this when all he wanted to do was say, yes, I'd be there. You name the time and place. Andy leaned back on his heels, slid his hands in his pockets more so to keep them to himself and like Sharon he did it when he was nervous. It was also because he was use to holding a drink in his hand, it had been a long time since he drank but old habits die-hard. He needed to put them somewhere and it would be a big mistake and inappropriate if it were on their captain. Yes, he knew he needed to get out of there quick.

He could see how miserable she was trying to have this conversation so to help put out of them both out of this misery. Andy said, "I…um…I don't know," he nervously rubbed the back of his neck keeping the other hand safe in his pocket. "I don't know, we've both been pretty busy lately and…" Before he could finish there was a horrible noise coming from the outer room causing Andy to roll his eyes. They could hear it through the closed door of her office.

Andy knew the minute he heard Cindi's laugh, who had called her in. He was going to kill Provenza one of these days and he would have help hiding the body, probably from Sharon herself, the thought caused him to smile. He could see the frustration on his boss's face, he needed to get Cindi out of there and have a little chat with the young blonde, to set the record straight about the two of them. Andy thought about what Provenza said about hinting that Sharon could be jealous, but he just didn't see it. He assumed it was just annoyance with the girl. Why would she be jealous? Cindi had nothing on her and to tell the truth he was nothing compare to Sharon either. After hearing that giggle again Andy turned to leave. He slowly looked back to Sharon as he said, "Yeah… so… sorry, Captain, I have to go. Oh, and I'll be heading out for lunch now. I already have dinner plans and I'm sure you're busy too." He didn't have any plans but he assumed she did and it was probably the easy way to let her off the hook to having to tell him.

"All right, Lieutenant, I understand," Sharon said in a strong voice using his words back at him. As he left the Captain's office he thought he heard her whisper something but wasn't sure over the gigging. Just wanting to get this done and over with, Andy shot a death look at his annoying partner, then told Cindi he was taking her to lunch, which only succeed to set off more giggling. He gave a quick head nod to DDA Hobbs who passed him as they were exiting.

At the café, Andy hadn't known that Sharon was there until he heard her laugh, he would know that laugh anywhere. It made him smile when he heard the little snort she did. He turned to see where she was, then saw she was sitting next to that idiot. To him it didn't matter that Andrea was sitting with them, the guy was sitting way too close to her to be appropriate. It made him really want to punch the guy. Andy's heart rate was speeding up, and as his hand curled up in a ball, Cindi placed hers over his fist. He stared at both their hands for a moment. All he thought about was how he wished it were Sharon's hand, both woman had small petite hands, but such different touch, he slowly looked up at Cindi. She did not look happy.

"Awe, come on Andyyy, really?" Cindi whined to him and he felt her hand tighten on his.

"Yes, really Cindi, I'm sorry." Andy told her as he slipped his hand from under hers to rub the back of his neck in frustration and to also get his hand away from hers. It had made him miss Sharon's touch even more.

"Sooo, like if you're really not wanting to go out with me I'm leaving," Cindi left in a bit of a huff.

He didn't want to hurt her and he was sure she didn't need him to go out and have fun. Andy was tired of this game Provenza and she we're playing. He had spent the last hour or more trying to explain nicely that he wasn't interested, but she just wasn't accepting it. He started off with the, "it's not you, it's me, speech." Then went into that he wasn't looking to date anyone right now. To no avail of getting through to her, it was as if she couldn't fathom that somebody didn't want to be with her. He explained that she was a great girl but that was all to him. He was just too old to keep up with her. In some ways, it was true and right now he would say anything to get her to leave him alone. She had finally left. He took a quick peek over to the back of the café to see the guy leaving. Andy wanted to get out of there before he ran into Sharon. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now, mostly because he was so mad at Provenza and his stupid ideas.

As Andy left the restaurant he called his pain-in-the-ass partner, "look will you just stop. You know what I mean. Yeah, I think she understands now. Well, she left pretty pissed off but she'll be fine." He unlocked his car door and sat inside, "hey, I'll deal with you later. I'm just calling to tell you I'm going to a meeting or two. If we catch a case you know how to reach me. Yes, yes, I'll be coming back in and of course I'll give you a ride home, but I'm not taking you to a bar."

They had a system to call him if they caught a case while he was at a meeting. Since you shouldn't have the ringer on, it's just plain rude to interrupt someone else's life story. Andy would put his phone on vibrate and turned the sound off, Provenza would know to call and let it ring/vibrate once hang up and call back. Andy always knew it was important when that happened. If his phone vibrated for longer the one ring he would know it wasn't about a case and he would call them back after the meeting.

Andy stopped back by the office after the meetings. There was only a few places that ran day AA meetings so it took a while to get there. He was mostly at work to pick up his partner, because it was his turn to have a few words as he drove. To explain to Louie that he needed to butt out of his personal life. Inside he noticed Sharon was in her office, he knew she did have a lot of paperwork to deal with. He was grateful he didn't have to see her before he and his opinionated partner left and she headed out on her date. He cringed at that thought.

To Andy it felt like longer than usual drive to Provenza's house, probably because he was tired and frustrated. When he finally got home he was too worn out from dealing with so many problems today, that he just headed to bed. He made sure everything was locked up and all lights were off. As he did his nightly routine and changed, one thing he was looking forward to was going to sleep, so he could at least dream of the woman he cared so much about. Getting comfortable in bed Andy still had some hope that they could at least keep their friendship, but at the rate they were going it wasn't happening. As he stared at the ceiling he decided he was going to change that, one-way or another they we're going to talk about 'them,' even if they both didn't like what the other had to say.

When Andy had woken up in the middle of the night he needed to splash some cold water on his face and neck. Then had to change his t-shirt that he sweated right through. All he could think about was the dream he had. As fantasies go this one started off just like the end of their regular just friend non-date dinners. Andy was only going to walk her to her condo door and that was all. He planned on saying he had a great night, good-bye and make sure she made it inside safely. When Sharon had been using her key to unlock her door, her hair had fallen down and blocked her face from his view. As she turned to him, she slowly slid the wayward lock of hair behind her ear see he could just see her incredible green eyes. He thought it made her look shy, but sultry and sexy at the same time. She was so beautiful and it was as if she didn't know the effect she had in him. This woman was killing him slowly, which seemed like the theme in most of his dreams. Andy laughed at the thought as he dried off from the quick cold-water sink bath, before going back to his memories of the dream. He had realized she must have asked him a question and when he didn't respond it made her frown and take a step inside her condo. "Wait, what? I'm sorry I was distracted. What did you say, Sharon?"

"It was nothing. Good-night, Andy," she said with a smile that was more of a sad smirk.

Andy wasn't going to let her get away without telling him. "Oh, no you asked me something but I was too occupied with thinking how beautiful you are that I didn't hear what you said." He took a step closer to her and in a low deep voice he asked, "now... what did you ask me?"

He saw her eyes go wider when he said the word beautiful and heard her breath hitch as he closed the distance between them. Sharon stood her ground, looked him in the eye and repeated, "I was just inviting you in for coffee and I might have mentioned that Rusty is gone for the..." Andy didn't let her finish what she was going to say, his lips were on hers before he gave her the chance to realized he had even moved. His fingers automatically wrapped themselves through her hair and held her as he kissed her. When he heard, Sharon moan he slowly backed her all the way into her condo, kicking the door closed behind them. Each time she would let out a "hmmm" or a moan he would deepen their kiss and he would back her up a little bit more until he heard her let out "umh" sound. He knew he had her against the back of her couch. Instead of having them tumble over it, he figured with their age they could have some serious injuries, Andy leaned back a little from her more to collect the necessary air they both needed. He slowly untangled his hands from her soft thick hair and took her hand, leading her to the front of the sofa. As Sharon sat down she wrapped her free hand around his suspenders and pulled him down with her.

Andy was now lying completely on top of her and didn't want to crush her so he was lifting himself off of her, but she wouldn't let go. "Oh no, you're not going anywhere. I like the feel of you against me, Andy," she whispered in his ear. Her husky voice alone almost ended everything right there for him, but he had wanted her like this for too long to lose control so soon. She had the fingers of one hand running through his hair then Sharon pulled him back into a passionate kiss. He felt her other hand loosen from its hold of his suspenders to slide down between them. As she started to undo the button of his pants, it was his turn to moan. He broke off their heated kiss to turned his attention to her neck. Andy started to whisper all the things he wanted to do to her as he nipped at her ear. He was sure it was the breathless pant of, "yes, yes Andy," that suddenly woke him up out of his dream.

He put the towel and wet t-shirt in the hamper then crawled back into bed. Andy really wanted to finish the dream he had started. After getting settled again he noticed that in his dreams Sharon was brazen and bold. She always started out shy and holding back but when she realized he wanted her badly too, she had no problem taking control and taking what she wanted. He was happy that it was with him, at least in his dreams.

He wondered as he lay there trying to fall asleep again, was his captain like that in real life? Would he ever get the chance to find out? Andy slowly fell back asleep with a smile on his face.

~TBC~

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