Chapter 10

I eventually find a place where I could be alone to feel guilty; near a meadow with a stream running through it. It was so calm and peaceful; the emotions I wasn't feeling. I come to a halt near a willow tree and slide down the trunk of the tree until I'm forced to sit. Once I bring my knees up to my chest and hug them, I burrow my face and begin to cry.

The guilt was eating me alive; the guilt of my little sister to be parentless at a young age, just like me. Except now she had no father and mother, she was alone. I'm sure she had relatives nearby to take care of her but it would never be the same. She would be forever questioning what had happened to her mother and father and why they disappeared without a trace and without saying goodbye. From experience, it was miserable to not have a father in my life but I couldn't imagine what it was like to not have both parents. And now, because of me, she would know how it felt.

Sure, Katrina was evil and tried to kill Daniel, Rachel, and I but she didn't need to die for that. She was murdered in cold blood, and I was her murderer. I was sure I was able to control the cravings but I chose not to, it was all my fault that Haley didn't have her mother anymore.

And now, I wasn't able to find out where Rachel was going. I could have saved her, but I had to screw that up too. If it wasn't for Daniel and me leaving to hunt, she wouldn't have been captured in the first place. I had no idea how we were going to find Rachel now. Shawn probably knew a thing or two but probably not as much as Katrina knew.

I couldn't fathom the thought of what Rachel was most likely going through right now. If the vampire blood that harmed me was the same as holy water affecting a vampire, I had no idea how she was going to survive that constant pain. She was a strong girl even though I couldn't help but worry about her. The clans were ruthless if it meant to get what they wanted or needed. They didn't care about the person they were inflicting the pain on, they only thought about themselves.

That reminded me of my mother. I couldn't think about my mother being in the Velknar clan's possession without becoming sick to my stomach. I didn't want to think about the torture she was being put through or the disappointment in me. I knew something like this was going to happen but I didn't do anything about it. Everything bad that has ever happened was because of me. Maybe if I just went home now, everything would work out perfectly for everyone, Daniel would be able to save my mother and Rachel without my help. Knowing me, I would probably get in the way of it all.

Thinking of my mother reminded me of much I missed which causes me to cry harder. Why did I have to ruin everything?

My shoulders shake as I sob from the pain, guilt, and the pity I felt. I sob for what felt like hours until a sound comes from the forest and makes me stop. The noise sounded like it belonged to a creature having its life taken away. My head immediately goes up as I look intensively into the woods out of curiosity.

It must have been a wolf finishing off its prey; I immediately shrug it off and try to produce more tears only to discover I couldn't anymore. Just as I start sobbing again, the sound of a leaves crunching beneath something heavier than an average animal. When I look up, I discover Alex standing there holding a rabbit carcass. "Hi," she mutters.

I sniffle, "Hi."

"I noticed you over here and thought you would want something else to feed on." She tosses the dead animal to me, landing with a thud on the left side of me.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry," I say quietly as I look away from her.

I hear Alex sigh just before I feel coming closer. Her feet stop right beside me, instead of just standing there like I thought she would have, she takes a seat right next to me. "You know," she begins, "I reacted the same way when I first fed on a human. And that human was the only innocent person I've killed and I haven't looked back since. It's kind of surprising after 200 years of living."

"How is that even possible?"

She laughs, "The cravings are honestly not as bad after 6 months. Well, for me anyway. Everyone's different that way I guess." Alex sighs, "It must be harder for you since you're going through so much. With your friend and mom to worry about, plus being a hybrid must be tough, but I'm sure since you're stronger than the average vampire or werewolf, your willpower is stronger too." I look over at her, "Daniel filled me in."

I roll my eyes before burrowing my head back into my knees, "Of course he did."

"He loves you, you know," she announces to me, "He didn't even have to tell me that in order for me to know. It was in his eyes, yours too."

I smile to myself. Daniel was gloating about me to Alex, that made me feel special, "Thanks I guess." I look at her, "But why are you being so nice to me? You hardly know me. No offense."

She smiles, "None taken." She takes in a breath, "I know what you're going through, well, some of what you're going through anyway. You seemed like you needed the help. Plus, from what Daniel had told me about you, you're the type of person I would get along with very well." She adds, "And I'm not saying any of this because Daniel told me to either."

I laugh, "He would do something like that too." I pause, "What did Daniel say exactly? About me I mean."

"Well," she starts, "Nothing bad if that's what you were curious about. He just said you were struggling with your transition and he thought I could help you better than he could."

I couldn't help but feel disappointed; I was secretly hoping he would say something nicer. Daniel basically made it sound like I was just a burden to him or something. "Oh," I say to Alex with a hint of sadness in my voice.

"But he also mentioned the fact that you are so selfless, kind, and overall an amazing person; the love his life. And he said that wasn't going to change." She gives me a soft smile, "Trust me, he meant what he said. I've never seen him this happy since… well, ever."

My face blushes, he was bragging about me to Alex. It was kind of nice to hear that he talked so highly of me.

Just as I was about to ask Alex if he said anything else, Daniel's voice interrupts me before I can ask. "Lauren!" He says with relief. He turns his attention towards Alex, "Thank you for finding her."

"No problem," Alex says before getting up and onto her feet, "That's my cue to leave. I'll be waiting by the car I guess." She waves to me just before she turns and leaves.

Daniel takes Alex's place and pulls me into his arms. "Are you okay?"

At first I don't say anything, I just hold on to Daniel tightly. I was afraid I would break down in front of him. Despite the talk I had with Alex, I still had a guilty conscious and seeing Daniel right now reminds me how I failed him. "I'm fine," I murmur the lie against his shoulder.

"Doesn't sound like it to me," Daniel points out. He really did know me too well.

I sigh, "It's been… a crazy morning." When he doesn't say anything, I add, "A lot has happened over the past month Daniel. I don't think I'm going to be over it any time soon."

Daniel straightens his arms, pushing me slightly back for him to look me in the face. "I know, I'm not asking you to." He strokes my lower lip with his thumb, wiping blood off of me, "Everything is going to work out, you'll see. You just have to believe it's going to be."

'But how can I when everything around me is slowly disappearing?' I ask myself in my head. I don't say anything to Daniel's words, how could I when I didn't believe in them? I had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, something I couldn't shake.

Instead of responding, I hug him to me tightly and whisper, "I'm glad you're here with me. I don't know what I'd do without you." And I meant it; he was the one to keep me sane during these hard times and I was eternally grateful for that, "I love you."

Daniel hugs back just as tightly, "I love you too."

We sit there for minutes, content in each other's arm. I wished that we would be able to stay like this and not think about the future and what it may have in store for us. I wanted for us to run away together and never look but I have never bothered mentioning it at that moment, knowing that Daniel would most likely disagree and the fact that we still needed to have my mother and Rachel back.

Daniel is the first one to pull away from me, "We should get going before Katrina's back up shows up." He rises from the ground but before he walks, he outstretches his hand out for me to take it, and I do. He pulls me up and we run out of the forest together, hand in hand. When we emerge from the shades of the trees, I stare out at Alex and Shawn in the distance, packing things into Daniel's car. "What are they doing?"

"Oh, they're just packing up the rest of our luggage in the car. Once they finish, we're leaving this place."

I frown, "Where are we going? Washington right?" I was hoping he would say yes, I needed my mother back to bring me hope that we were going to win this war.

He just looks at me a minute before answering, "No, we're going to Nevada." I stiffen, "Before you say anything, it is crucial that we go to Nevada Something very important is there waiting for me."

"What's so essential that it's more important than rescuing my mother?" I question, being to become angry. That was quite a distance between Nevada and Washington or Canada. I come to a stop when we reach the front steps of Katrina's house.

"I'll explain everything in the car, I promise." He strides over to the passenger door and gestures towards the inside, "Now if you please, get in."

I cross my arms in protest but after pondering for a moment, I grumble as I duck into the car's leather seat. Once Daniel shuts the door for me, I hear him on my left side, in the driver's seat. "Are you mad at me?"

"No." I honestly wasn't despite the circumstances, sure I wanted to get my mother back as soon as possible but I understood that this wasn't about me. This whole trip, everything that we're going through is eventually going to affect the entire vampire and werewolf community. "I'm not mad, I swear."

He smiles, "Good." Before he starts the car and checks the time, he leans over and kisses my cheek. "Are you two ready?" He shouts out to Alex and Shawn as Shawn shuts the truck quietly.

"Yeah," Alex replies just as she climbs into the back seat with ease and with Shawn not far behind. "Let's bail before those werewolf scumbags find out Katrina's gone."

I stiffen at the mention of Katrina just as Daniel smirks when he hits the gas. Making the car's wheels protest at first but soon after, we are on the road at what must have been 80 miles per hour. I still felt guilty for accidently killing Katrina mostly because she had a daughter to raise but now that she was gone, who was going to take care of Haley? Haley! How could I have forgotten about her? We had to go get her! But the school was in the opposite direction than the one we were headed. "Stop the car!" I order.

Daniel stomps on the brakes, making everyone jolt forward. "What?" he wonders in confusion.

"We need to go get Haley," I look behind us to make sure another car wasn't there, "There's no way we're going to leave without her."

Before Daniel responds, Shawn inserts himself, "She's right Daniel, and Haley is rightful heir to the Fenris', we can't let them have her."

"Not just because of that, she's my sister after all. She needs family, even if she doesn't know it yet." I glance at Shawn, "She doesn't even know about any of this."

Daniel doesn't say anything; instead he just turns the car around and we speed off towards the school for Haley.