9.
The unforgiving lightning of Inspiration has stricken my fragile form once again, oh loyal spectators! In other words, I have just had another of my genuinely wacky ideas to bring you answers for established plot devices while creating even more confusion to your easily suggestive minds… This following chapter shall be narrated by several points of view from several characters of this Chaos forsaken story. Which ones, you may ask? Do I really need to laugh at your baffling naiveté one more time? Now stay on your seat, R & R, and be drowned by this roller coasting ride of bewildering narrative puzzles like a so-called crazy Bavarian king died in mysterious circumstances…
Just keep reading.
L.
Suddenly I felt as if I had nothing else to lose… In a sense, it really was that way. I have lost everything worthy of a living a long time ago and yet, here I was, simply unable to die. Such is the burden of a God and, sadly, that burden is the only thing left that defines me as a God… All the rest is just a redundant cluster of painful grief, profound sadness… And sudden blind fury! Now that I think about it, my own wrath is another thing that defines me as God… My divine wrath!
There are things that a being like me is supposed to have… Universal Knowledge and Certainty are two of them. It is just ironic then, that for all of my inexplicable existence I never truly know a single thing… Not even of my own origins, if I've ever had some of course. Then, this peculiar young fox with two tails, a being that could have very well been considered the result of a divine prank, appeared from out of nowhere, claiming to know me… And the ludicrous part was that I knew him as well! Memories began to reestablish themselves in my age old mind as the venomous and suffering sensation of a disfiguring déjà-vow kept repeating itself over and over again: my entire immortal life.
After witnessing both the fox's assassination and that poor kid's traumatizing experience, I felt caught by an indomitable rage that went beyond the simple hatred towards the one responsible for this crime… It was something deeper and suffocating, as if I somehow knew everything about that smirking black hedgehog who dared to look at me with his taunting features… I felt the insuppressible urge to slaughter him, here and now.
I darted at lighting speed towards the red striped devil that wouldn't stop smirking, but my outburst was immediately (and sadly, easily) halted by someone else's intervention. As I quickly recovered from the sharp blow my sternum received, I realized just who saved the ever so arrogant rodent from my justified rage. Meta-Knight, the one who swore to help me, stood between me and the hedgehog, his twisted, golden mockery of a sword firmly held in his fingerless hand. To tell the truth, I wasn't really surprised about this knight's true colors, but what really baffled me, was the fact that his sword's sharp blow managed to actually hurt me…
A bleeding wound was placed on my chest, causing the inevitable dizziness and numbness of fainting to reach my supposed indomitable fury. I fell unconscious a second after… The cursed hedgehog was still laughing.
K.
I really wished I could be somewhere else at that moment… Me and my stupid mouth! I wouldn't be able to keep a secret with my freaking life on the line...
Needless to say, after the embarrassing blowing up of my secret knowledge, I was forced to reveal to those girls, the full story… And I mean, all of it. I told them about the emeralds, the searching party, the Author, my inconvenient ability to travel through dreams… And everything I knew about Him. At first, it was difficult and awkward but then, the words began to spread out of my mouth as if possessed by some mysterious power and stuff… Boy, I wish I could do original analogies like Dimentio. After I finished my speech, I felt somehow lighter… I felt as I finally managed to release all the burdening weight I've been forced to live with for all my life. I felt relieved… Then, as my generous hosts' expressions began to twist in tearful sadness, I fell into a state of guilty depression. I knew it was all my fault… Gee, I'm so stupid. I'm nothing more than a dumb kid who's played too many games and got his brain fried for good. My thoughts immediately switched on the dreadfully dying features of my former companion… What if my dream wasn't an actual dream? I mean, a dream in the common sense of the word… What if he had actually been murdered by the blood stained hands of uncle Shadow?
No… I just… I can't… No, nonononononononono… NO! … Tails, what happened to you, man? Why… Why did you do this to your family? Why did you force them to leave you? Why do you hate Life so much? I wish I could know you better… I hope you're not dead… I… I must do something about it!
It was in that moment that I made a solemn decision… I would have protected Tails's family with my own life, if necessary! It was the only way to ease my guilt… Yes, I'm such an egotistical hypocrite, I know. As I exited my derailed train of thoughts, I laid my eyes upon the crying features of the not so anymore happy, jester girl who wouldn't stop staring at me with her big pleading eyes… And the thoroughly sad form of her mother, who's gaze was fixed over an empty spot… Empty like her own eyes. She had no more tears to share and I was frightened by that. The daughter approached me with her doll held tight in her chest; her shiny blue eyes were glued on me, making both my heart and my mind melt like hot chocolate… I couldn't quite understand the reason of this sudden sensation and it bothered me. At first, I thought it was because of my guilty feelings towards her… But then, I realized it was something else, something foreign to me… And, naturally, it frightened me. When she was near enough, which almost made me jump in fear, she asked me with her sweet voice if her beloved daddy missed her… The proverbial anvil of guilt fell on my shoulders, pinning me on the ground, as I shamefully lied to her about her daddy's memory loss, which was the only thing I managed to omit from my recent speech. What would have you done if you were in my pants? Wait… Who am I talking to? Who goes there?
EHI! STOP READING MY PRIVATE THOUGHTS!
M.
It is in moments like these that I regret being an inter-dimensional guardian… And having a brother, of course! "Easy money, bro!" "No big deal!" He said… Stupido Paisa! I'm-a so angry, not only he managed to lose all the Chaos Emeralds, aside for one, because that crazed vulpine jumped on him during the transportation… But he even forgot our spaceship in that blasted dimension! Argh…
I'm gonna kick his posteriore peloso fino a farlo morire dissanguato, I'm-a so angry I wish I coulda mangiare le mie stesse braccia e morire strozzato con i miei gomiti! Ooooh, but that's not even the best part, oh no no no no…
Now we'll have to report the whole thing to our boss, and I already know he won't be happy about it… I really wish my stupid brother would stop talking for at least 5 minutes… Even better, breathing! And why there were those listening devices placed on our hats? Chi diavolo placed them!?
L.
I woke up later in a soft and comfortable bed… The wounds I had on my chest somehow healed. It didn't take too long for me to understand I have been saved from certain death… It is indeed ironic for a God like me to be saved from certain death. My mind was a painful cluster of unanswered questions mainly veering around the fact that Meta-Knight's sword almost killed me… And the fact that I was not so divine, after all. The discovery of my own mortality was a shock, to say the very least and… Also strangely refreshing. I could be killed… Maybe I wasn't even a God, maybe all my life has been an illusion, a fake dream from which I've managed to escape only now… Maybe this place… This castle (?) was my real home, my real fate…
I realized how little I knew about me and being a God, the very same moment I had the opportunity to speak with the actual master of the house, a peculiar creature who happened to experience in first person, the disfiguring paradox of being an imperfect God.
C.
Oh Tails… What have you been through? When myself and our daughter left you, I somehow knew you were going to do such foolishness… Yet, I only now realized it's been a mistake. If we would have remained by your side, maybe all this wouldn't have to happen… But… All those bodies, Tails, all those corpses… I couldn't forgive you.
I just couldn't…
N.
You know, Reala? I really miss daddy… But I'm glad I met Klonoa. Maybe he will help us to reunite with him! Wouldn't it be grand, eh Reala? We'll be a happy family again! … Yes, I know we have never been happy but at least we were a family, can't you understand this, Reala? Oh, I know you would, you are my best friend, after all… Let's go play with Klonoa!
K.
And now she wants me to play with her and her creepy doll… There is definitely something wrong with this girl… But I'm a fine one to talk.
WILL YOU PLEASE RESPECT MY PRIVACY AND GO AWAY!?
V.
From our point of view, it's been no more than a week since our forced exile from our home dimension due to our common accursed past for which both humans and Mobians hadn't forgave us… But as I realized, one week in this dimension corresponded to at least 8 years in the world we came from.
8 years since we left everything we had to rot in the merciless course of Time.
8 years since we abandoned the rest of our family to fetch for their own in that hostile environment.
8 years since the day I last saw my parents and baby sister… My daughter's grandparents and younger aunt.
Even though it has only been a week for us, I could still feel all the precious years with them forever lost in the sadistic continuum of different dimensions. When my family and I had to leave our home, a well known sensation of sad knowledge pervaded us… We knew that we weren't going to come back… Just like when we had to leave our previous home: Maginary World, the realm I managed to create from my own thoughts and dreams, didn't need me in the end… My children needed independence, needed to commit their own mistakes and put their own remedies to them… That was the reason why we left it, unlike our true home, which, ironically enough, didn't accept our existence, as if we were bad dreams to be disposed of… Cruel irony seems to be my eternal life motif.
As well as my famous namesake emptiness… Emptiness not even my beloved wife and daughter could fill. I've come to terms with my condition a long time ago… I convinced myself to be that peculiar symbolic icon my name and recent role seemed to suggest…
The Void within everyone's souls, the constant reminder of the emptiness that needs to be fill, of the sheer importance of emotions and feelings, which blows… It really does! Or at least it did, until I met this curious white and black jester with a strange white book and very interesting story so unbelievable that it had to be true.
And thus, I once again had to resort on those plumbers and their convenient time / space traveling devices… They already did a good job taking us into this dimension, therefore a little Chaos Emeralds' hunting shouldn't have to be a big trouble, right?
M.
The boss wasn't really happy about our failure (and I mean, my brother's failure), just as I thought… Wait a minute, how's that jackal arrived here!?
V.
So… That jester is back and he brought me the dying form of the one directly responsible for my father's outburst of madness… He managed to snatch him from certain death just in the nick of time and now he wanted me to heal him. Naturally, I was reluctant in doing such thing at first… Then he told me about my father's death by the hands of the greatest among traitors and I suddenly found myself in need of answers, therefore I decided to take the blue jackal under my protection for a while and questioned him later.
My father is dead… Murdered by someone who should have been dead… It was curious how I couldn't feel either shock or sadness at that knowledge; it bothered me, to say the very least. Before leaving, the weird jester asked me to have back the Light Prognosticus he had so generously given to me. He told me he would have needed it to start a certain plot device in another timeline… I didn't get it. He also told me he took the liberty to transfer my mother and my baby sister into another dimension for security matters and that, right now, a very trustable person was looking for their health… He also told me that our "right now" could have been their "has happened" or vice-versa, whatever he meant with it… I just refused to let myself to be absorbed in such disfiguring time / space paradoxes, again. I put the wounded jackal in my bed and healed him with my powers, which have gotten a lot better through the years… Or months… Or days, whatever!
When he awoke later, we could finally talk.
S.
I was a fool… I sacrificed my own life to save others'. It was before being illuminated with the undeniable truth of the universe… It was before being saved from my supposed sealed fate, only to learn that it was just both the end and the beginning of it… Thanks to him! All I have to do in exchange, was to send that little missile in a precise dimension of his choosing and let it explode, killing everything in its path and providing the fundamental twist of a certain plotline. Then I had to go in another world, a world very similar to my own, and kill a disgusting hybrid and his Mobian whore…
I took out the blond humanoid while he was trying to escape from his enemies, then I found the bunny bitch and set his house on fire! The reasons behind my actions have been soon revealed to me but I really didn't care about them… I didn't care if they were meant to happen for the sake of the Story, I just wanted to unleash pain and destruction, because that's what I was meant to be when the stupid humans created me… The Ultimate Weapon! Yet, I still seem to be outmatched by those two giant hands… It bothers me but I'll comply with that, for now.
After my successful job, I was ask to look for the disgusting result of that rabbit's wombs, right after killing his step grandfather, in yet another world… Those have been boring years, to say the very least. I had to pretend to be the usual dumb amnesiac and actually being "nice" to that kid. Luckily, that worthless façade ended when the vulpine finally showed up, successfully triggering the successive events to the moment I'd personally had the privilege to kill him! To feel his warm blood on my naked skin and glee in utter pleasure… I'm a little disappointed though, what made my master think that I would have needed help to recover the yellow Chaos Emerald from that medieval land and to fight that phony God? I don't know anything about this Meta-Knight guy and I don't really like him.
On a side note, it has been so fun to cause both Tails and that blue jackal their disfiguring loss of memory, I didn't know I was so good in causing head traumas! Now all I have to do is wait... The moment of his rebirth is near.
Soon enough, the Author shall be freed… And all thanks to the humans!
T.
Where… Am… I?
Bottom line, folks: Klonoa has been brought to Cosmo and NiGHTS by me, just like Lucario has been warped to Void, who happened to be the Mario brothers' boss and live in a castle, somewhere… Shadow is a twisted bastard, the humans are going to cause their own demise (as always) and someone might not be dead… Oh, and NiGHTS loves her creepy doll… And I'm starting to think there are too many jesters around.
Now I'll just watch you fall into the deep cliff of your hanging-ness and laugh my lungs out of pure nefarious maliciousness… Ehi, I've got it rhymed, yay for me!