Thanks so much Paige for being such an awesome beta!
Thanks so much for the feature on Rita's Random Fic Recs! I was so excited and honored to see this story on the blog the other day! And welcome to everyone who came to this story from that recommendation! **Waves**
Another thanks to the Pay it Forward Fics of the Month blog for doing a feature on this story as well! It's a newer blog and it's wonderful. So, if you guys haven't checked it out yet, please give it a look!
"We've only just begun to live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way
(We've only begun)."
-Carpenters-
BPOV:
The rest of the time promoting this movie flew by. Due to my anxiety, I barely registered that time was passing. The premieres, festivals, and interviews all blurred together into one horrific experience, part of me never wants to relive. However, I know this is my life now and if I want to be successful, there's no way around the publicity aspect of it all.
Today is the last press junket and I'm so thankful to know that tomorrow, I'll be back in my apartment in west LA. These interviews are just so monotonous and unimaginative. It's the same questions over and over again, there's absolutely nothing stimulating about it. I don't know how anyone manages to stand it. Luckily, I haven't been around long enough for people to want to know that much about my personal life. I don't know what I'd say if they did ask about my life outside of acting, because there's nothing that I really want them to know. With Edward at my side during the interviews, the focus is mainly on him. I'm sure some actresses would be jealous of this, but I'm relieved. I relax in my chair and let him do all the talking.
He answers each and every question like a pro, impressing everyone in the room. For a new director, he's unperturbed by everything. All the female reporters gush over him, and despite our non-existent relationship status, I can't help but feel jealous. Edward's just so charming and flirtatious with them, even if he doesn't mean to be. It's just who he is I suppose, and even if it doesn't mean anything, it's still hard to watch. I don't want to think about the possibility of him with someone else, even though I know it's inevitable.
As a blonde reporter gushes over him, a realization comes over me. This is what it's going to always be like. He's everything a woman could want… handsome, rich and successful. Women can't seem to help themselves around a man like that. Hell, I've heard of women sending love letters to married men in Hollywood all of the time. I always thought it was absolutely disgusting. Especially when the actor would have an entire family. Just knowing that some women are that ruthless and selfish makes my skin crawl. If I did pursue a relationship with Edward, I would be dealing with that type of thing all of the time. I'm acting as if Edward as asked me to be his girlfriend. He's never implied he wanted any other sort of relationship than the one we have now. I plaster a fake smile on my face for the cameras and pretend I'm not reeling on the inside.
Will I be able to continue a commitment free 'relationship' with him? As much as I've tried to keep things easy between us, I can't help but let my feelings get involved. An experience like this bonds people. We created something amazing together and that alone has brought us closer than I could've ever imagined. The thought of letting that all go is devastating, but I know it's necessary for both of us. We're at the beginning of our careers and I know we wouldn't forgive ourselves, or each other, if anything stopped us from following our dreams or held us back. I didn't leave my hometown to find love, I left so I could find some measure of success doing what I love. I know I should cut ties with Edward now, before things end badly between us.
"That was great!" The blonde interviewer says, pulling me back to reality. "You're so easy to interview."
It's like I'm not even here. I look over at Edward and he appears to be eating it all up. I frown for a moment, before remembering my surroundings and putting my signature fake smile back on my face.
"Thanks, it's probably just because you asked such intuitive questions."
I look away, wondering how long it'll take him to remember I'm still sitting right beside him. Bella, maybe he doesn't even care. Now that our work is over, he probably wants to send a clear message that he's not interested in a relationship. Just keep your head high and end it, before he makes you look like a fool.
"Well that's easy to do when the film is actually good." She pauses for a moment, looking flustered before she asks the one question I knew she would. "If you want to have your brain picked a bit more… we could always grab a drink sometime?"
As mad as I want to be at this woman, I know that's irrational. She doesn't know if Edward is taken or not, and he is a gorgeous man, so it makes sense that a young, beautiful woman would want a shot at that. At least she's bold when it comes to stating her feelings. Perhaps my situation would be different if I just bit the bullet and told Edward how I felt about him. Of course, I would first have to figure out how I felt and I really don't think I can go there right now.
When Edward doesn't reply right away, the woman grows hasty and hands him her business card and gets up to leave before he can reject her. She stays long enough to appreciate the handsome smile he gives her as he slides her business card into his pocket. Of course, he's going to take her number. He's a man without any commitments and she's a beautiful woman. It still stings though. I bite my lip to keep from crying out as anger and sadness overwhelms me. I don't know why I'm feeling this way-or maybe I do and I just don't want to admit it to myself-but I just don't want Edward to see me like this. Well, I can act just as composed and dispassionate as he does.
As soon as the woman walks away, Edward turns to me as if the past few minutes hadn't happened and asks, "Are you hungry? I was thinking about getting something to eat after this."
Men always claim that women are so difficult to understand-and maybe we are-but we don't pull this sort of shit, that's for sure. How can you take a woman's phone number one second, and ask me to do something with you the next? I'm so baffled. I sit there for a moment, trying to think of something smart to say, before I decide to just claim exhaustion and go back to my hotel room. This thing between us needs to end. I can't go on pretending that this is just a sexual relationship and my heart isn't involved. When it first started, that's exactly what it was, but now it's transformed into something completely different. Something I never expected.
"I'm actually feeling pretty tired, I think I'll just head back to my room."
Edward smiles like my response hasn't phased him. "That's fine. We can just order room service and watch a movie or something. I'm pretty beat too."
His smile is beginning to irritate me. Is he really that obtuse?
"I kind of wanted to spend the evening alone."
He stares at me for a long moment, and then nods, with an expression that looks like I've wounded him in some way. I feel bad for a moment… but just for a moment. His mood swings are giving me whiplash and I can't let a man mess with my emotions like this when I have a career to focus on. This movie has brought me so much success already, I can't throw that away for some guy who doesn't respect me enough to not take a girl's number right in front of me.
Before I can help myself, I add, "You can always take that woman up on her offer. I'm sure she'd love to have dinner with you."
His brows crease together in confusion, before he leans forward in his chair and says, "Bella, that didn't mean anything. I just wanted to be polite."
"I understand," I say with a smile that I'm sure doesn't reach my eyes. "I'm not upset. I was merely suggesting it since your night has opened up."
He regards me as if he was trying to decipher whether I was being sincere or not. Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't pick up on the bitter sarcasm in my voice right away. Before things get sour between us, I decide to walk away. We're not a couple, so there's no need for a tearful explanation. As fun as it's been, I've known all along this wouldn't last forever. And it seems that Edward is more than ready to move on with his life.
Lately, as soon as the effects of the mind-shattering orgasms Edward gives me have worn off, I can't help but feel… cheap. Fucking my director has transformed into making love with him, and now that my heart is in it, I've begun to realize how unsentimental Edward is after he's gotten what he's wanted from me. He treats me like a friend, and only when he's jealous of another man's attentions to me, does he seem remotely passionate. Outside of the bedroom, he's just friendly smiles and perfunctory remarks. Only a few times has he truly opened up to me, exposing his aspirations, fears, and past failures. When he shows me this vulnerable, creative, and wildly intelligent man behind his cool façade, I remember why my feelings for him blossomed in the first place. It's a shame that he's not always so true to himself. I feel like I've seen this glimpse of him that no one else has, and when I see him flirting with other women and acting so carelessly, I wonder if I was just imagining things and this is the man he truly is. That thought is depressing, because the glimpse of the man I've seen in him is so incredibly beautiful.
I walk back to my room with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. I don't let the tears fall, because I don't want anyone to see me crying, giving them the ability to write some fanciful story about me. I walk past the remaining reporters in the hotel lobby with my head down. I don't bother to look back to see if Edward has followed me. I just want to return to my hotel room, drink a bottle of gin, and forget about everything.
I'm so intent on getting inside of my hotel room and shutting everyone out, that I nearly trip over a box that's placed right outside my door. I bend down to pick up the offending object, wondering where in the world it came from. As soon as I get safely inside, I give the box a closer look. Isabella Swan, is printed on the outside of the box in beautiful cursive. I give the box a small shake, trying to get a feel for what's inside. I hear a few objects rustling about and look for something to cut open the box with. All I find is a pen, and I quickly stab it into the cheap tape, before pulling the box apart.
There's a handwritten note that's placed on a bed of tissue paper. I don't recognize the handwriting at all and my mind quickly reels with options of who the sender could be. Picking the note up, I turn on the lamp beside me and read it.
To the beautiful and talented, Isabella Swan,
You light up the screen with every scene you're in and make every other actress appear inferior and lacking. I'm shocked that a shiny star like you wasn't discovered sooner. I've watched your film several times, and find that I'll never get enough.
I'll be seeing you in my dreams.
Your number one fan
I stare at the note for a long time. I should feel flattered perhaps, but I feel this sense of dread that prickles up my spine and suffocates me. I've never been referred to as 'Isabella' by anyone. Even in the credits for They Come at Night, I'm referred to as Bella Swan. Of course, I'm sure my full name could be found somewhere… it's just strange for one of my new fans to refer to me like that. Another, more seemingly sinister, thing is the fact that this box was sitting outside my hotel door. Whoever this is, knows where I've been staying. I wonder if I've seen my self-proclaimed number one fan sometime today.
Finally, I pull back the tissue paper to see what's inside the box. It's nothing frightening, just a small bouquet of roses. There's nothing malicious about it, but that doesn't change the fact that it's extremely creepy and doesn't sit well with me at all. I throw the box and the note in the trashcan, not wanting to look at it a second longer, and reach for my cellphone to call Edward. I want to phone a friend before getting security or police involved. I don't know how to deal with this sort of thing and I hope it's a one-time incident.
The phone rings, but there's no answer. I try Edward one more time before giving up. I wonder if he took that woman up on her offer after all? I push that unpleasant thought aside and call the next contact on my list, Emmett. He answers on the second ring and as is horrified as I am as I frantically tell him about the box.
"Fuck, Bella. I'm on my way. Don't leave your room."
Yeah, like I'm going to go explore the hotel with the possibility of someone watching me. I set my phone down and wonder if there's a reasonable explanation for all of this. Maybe they are staying on this floor and saw me go into my room? Perhaps they just meant it as a friendly gesture and didn't believe it would be creepy at all? I go to the mini bar and take out a small bottle of gin and a mini bottle of tonic water, making myself a drink before taking a seat on the couch and waiting for him. I take a sip and try to relax. It's nothing bad, Bella. Stop being so paranoid! No matter many times I tell myself this, I'm not convinced. Just thinking about that note makes my stomach turn and my pulse race. Just thinking of the phrase, 'I'll be seeing you in my dreams' written in beautiful cursive, makes me want to throw up.
A/N: So, this is our first mention of the creep… what do you guys think? Drama ahead, but I honestly think you guys will love the direction of this story! I'm seriously so excited to write what I have planned.
Song- "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters. (I picked this song because it was on the movie "1408", an adaption of the awesome Stephen King short story. I know this movie isn't well liked by everyone, but I actually enjoyed it and thought the scene with this particular song in it was awesome.)
**Fun Horror Fact- "Sleeping Hollow" and "Bringing Out The Dead" were the last two movies ever to be put on LaserDisc.**