Chapter 10 -- Come Away With Me

Disclaimer: If you're looking for Jacob Black, I don't own him. If you know where he is, please let me know. :)

The next three weeks were filled with silence. I eventually came to the conclusion that when Bella was ready to talk to me, she would. Bella wouldn't stay away for forever. I knew that if there was one thing I really knew about her, she couldn't stay away. In the meantime, I promised myself that I would be supportive of her and that our next conversation would not turn into a screaming match like most of our conversation had since we had... copulated. I tried to stay positive after I had hit rock bottom and for the most part, it had worked. Of course, I had had a few missteps, I won't lie. But for the most part, it seemed that after I had made the conscious decision to stop obsessing over Bella, my life had started to turn back around, just slightly.

I woke up one Sunday afternoon after a night of patrolling the perimeter, only to find a note on my nightstand. It was from Billy.

Jake,
Bella called this morning. She wants you to stop by the Cullens' when you wake up. I guess they want to talk to you about the baby. Charlie and I are going to his place to watch the game today. I figured you might want the house to yourself... I know we've been spending a lot of time here.
Dad

How many people are as lucky as me to have a dad as great as Billy? I wondered to myself as I got dressed. I wondered what Bella wanted. As far as I knew, we still weren't exactly talking. I'd lost track of how far along she must have been by that point. Four months? Five months? Something like that.

I headed out for the Cullens' dungeon at around two-thirty or so. I pulled the Rabbit in front of their massive garage and sat idly for a few minutes, just thinking. It had been a while since I had been here. I'd really lost track of time. I sat in the Rabbit, my eyes closed, thinking about how much I missed Bella and how much I wanted to make all the time up to her that I'd wasted by being a jackass. I wondered if I'd ever get the chance.

I was so immersed in thought that I didn't notice she she was standing outside my window. I looked up and jumped. She started laughing.

"Gosh, Jake," she said, shaking her head. "You really need to clean out your ears. I've been standing here for a while now."

"I'm sorry," I said, rolling down the window. "I was sort of... distracted."

"Obviously," she said, rolling her eyes. "Can I come sit with you?"

"Sure," I said, smiling at her.

She walked back around the front of the car and for the first time, I noticed how big she had gotten since I'd last seen her. Her belly was defined now and her walk had turned into a slight waddle. That's my child, I thought to myself. The thought secretly thrilled me.

She climbed into the passenger-side seat and sat down.

"You look great," I said, smiling.

"Thanks," she said. "You too."

"You wanted to talk?" I asked her. "Billy went to Charlie's and left a note on my nightstand this morning, saying you'd called."

She nodded. "Do you want to go back to the reservation?" she asked.

"Really?" I asked, confused. "Are you sure Edward doesn't want to be part of this conversation?"

"I'm sure," she said. Her tone suggested annoyance and I fell still further into confusion.

"Uh, okay," I said awkwardly, starting the engine. I pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road outside of their propery. "So, how far along are we?" I asked, glancing at her belly.

"Five months today," she said, resting a hand on top of it. "Your daughter is absolutely fascinated with my ribcage. She keeps kickboxing at it."

"Daughter?" I gasped. "It's a girl?" I asked, my eyes widening in shock.

"Yeah," Bella said. "I've known for about two weeks, I guess. I could have sworn she was a boy, the way she kicks. She's so active."

I smiled, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Sounds like we're going to have our hands full," I replied.

Bella nodded.

I was confused. Where was the angry Bella, the one who couldn't stand being around me? Why were things so easy all of a sudden? It was almost like we had never argued, almost like how things were two years back, like we were just discussing motorcycles or something.

As we entered the reservation, I noticed Leah and Seth walking down the road. I waved to them. Seth smiled at me brightly. Leah's eyes didn't avert from the ground.

"Have you talked to her?" Bella asked me.

"No," I admitted. "I've been avoiding her, to tell you the truth."

"That can't be an easy feat, being in the same pack with her... and that pack only having three wolves."

"It's not," I sighed. "Seth said she's been rather distant lately. I don't know what to do. I'm not in any shape to be in a relationship right now. And even if I was, I don't think I'd want to be with Leah. I'm trying to concentrate on getting ready to be a dad right now, not running around with girls."

Bella frowned.

"What?" I asked her.

"I just keep thinking that you're only seventeen... you should be having your own life right now, figuring out where you want to be and how to get there, what you want to do withi your life... not hung up over me and this baby. I mean, originally, it was decided that this would be MY baby and I would be the one deciding who I wanted to be with..." she trailed off.

"Well," I said, sighing. "I thought I could live with just having this baby to make you happy. But I guess after we... well, you know... I just felt bonded to you. I can't really explain it. Once it became clear that we were really having a baby, I felt the need to both both you and it... her. I got upset and wanted to have a greater role in both of your lives. You can call it rescinding my side of the offer, if you want. I just didn't realize I was going to feel such an urge to step up and be a part of this child's life until the child in question was already in existence."

Bella looked over at me and smiled sadly. "We really didn't think this through enough did we?" she asked. "I think we were both emotional basket cases at that point and Edward just figured you'd do whatever I told you to."

I decided to ignore the "basket case" comment. I changed the subject. "So how are things with you and Edward?" I asked. "Has Alice finished the nursery?" I pulled into the driveway and parked the Rabbit, pulling the key out of the ignition.

"Please, can we talk about something else besides me and Edward?" she asked, falling back into the passenger-side seat.

"Why? Is something wrong?" I asked, genuinely concerned.

"Edward and I have been... well, not arguing exactly, but he's been upset with me for about a month. Let's just say I made a really big mistake and he's trying to get over it, but it's been hard on us both," she said, looking down at her belly and sighing.

"Is it the baby?" I asked her. "Surely he can't be mad at the baby or something like that."

"No," Bella sighed. "It's not the baby. It's something else."

"What could you have done to make him upset?" I wondered aloud. "He already thinks the sun shines out of your every orifice."

She laughed.

"Let me assure you that it most certainly does not," she replied, looking back at me. "I'd tell you what happened, but you'd probably either be grossed out or you'd take what I'd tell you and think too much of it."

"Let me guess," I said calculatedly. "It has something to do with me."

"A little more than something. More like everything to do with you," she sighing, looking out the window.

"Well, this is more than we've talked for the past five months," I said quietly. "I don't understand what I could have done."

"It's not you. It's me," she said awkwardly, looking back at me. "Edward and I were having sex and I accidentally moaned your name." She blushed an endearing shade of scarlet.

My jaw dropped.

"WHAT?" I exclaimed. Of all of the things she could have possibly told me, that had to have been the one I was least expecting.

Bella blushed even brighter, her cheeks turning almost maroon.

"I didn't mean to," she whispered. "I don't know what happened. I guess I just couldn't stop thinking about everything... And I kept remembering how distant we had been and I missed you."

"Wow," I said, trying to recover from the shock. "That can't have gone over well."

"Obviously," Bella said. "I just needed to get out of the house. I couldn't stand being around him at all today. We've agreed that we were going to try to work things out, but things have just been... difficult."

I nodded.

"I can understand that," I replied. "I'm sorry."

Bella just looked at me sadly. "I feel like it's my fault," she said. "Edward loves me more than I think anyone's ever loved anyone and yet I had to go and break his heart, not even meaning to. I don't know what happened."

For once, I had enough sense to keep my mouth shut and not tell her she was dead wrong. I loved her more than Edward ever could.

"Why were we so distant afterwards?" I asked her suddenly.

"What do you mean?" she asked, frowning. I knew she knew exactly what I meant.

"After we found out about the baby. I mean, I know I told you off and I didn't have the right to do so. I was upset and everything... but going this long without really talking to each other... right now, it seems kind of pointless," I clarified.

"You've missed a lot," she murmured, running a hand over her belly. "The pregnancy's halfway over."

"You should say 'halfway begun,'" I teased. "It makes it sound just a little better than 'halfway over.' Besides, I have the next eighteen years to be there, don't I?" I asked her.

But that doesn't make any sense," she countered, shaking her head.

"You're right," I sighed.

"I do want you to have a bigger role in the baby's life, but I'm not going to leave Edward. You realize that?" she asked.

I nodded, looking out the window.

She suddenly winced and placed one hand to her back.

"What?" I asked, turning around and looking at her worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said. "Somebody's just beating the crap out of me from the inside out."

I grinned. "Wonder where she gets that from?" I asked, looking at Bella pointedly.

"That's got to be your side of the family because it's most definitely not mine," she said, pulling her arm back around to her lap. She looked up at me. "Do you want to feel her kick?" she asked, looking at me with an almost shy expression on her face.

"Could I?" I breathed, biting my bottom lip.

She nodded. She grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly. I scooted over to her and felt my daughter -- my daughter -- nudge against my hand. I gasped.

"That's her?" I asked, completely captivated.

Bella simply nodded. She rested her hand on top of mine and sighed contentedly, resting her head on my shoulder. I noticed the ring on her ring finger and vaguely wondered if Edward ever did anything halfway. The ring was utterly magnificent. I could tell it was old... it had to have been from the late 1800s, maybe even older.

"I've missed you, Jake," Bella said, looking back up at me. "We really can't go five months without talking again."

"You can say that one again," I said, looking down at her.

I noticed the baby wasn't moving anymore. I took my hand away from her belly.

Bella didn't move.

"This is as calm as she's been since I've felt her move for the first time," Bella said quietly. "I wonder if she knows you're here."

"Maybe," I murmured.

"Maybe she just knows I feel safe when I'm with you," Bella said, her voice quavering above a whisper.

"Do you?" I asked her, resting my cheek on the top of her head.

Bella nodded once more. She looked up at me and for the first time I noticed how close her face was to mine, too close. I pulled away, clearing my throat.

We sat in silence for a bit longer.

"Can we go inside?" Bella asked suddenly. "I like sitting here with you in the car, but I wouldn't mind going inside where there's a bit more room."

"I thought you were never going to ask," I laughed.

We got out of the car and headed into the house. I shut the door behind us and Bella shrugged off her jacket, laying it over the back of the couch.

"Can we just have a human moment?" she asked, looking over at me. "Watch a movie? Have dinner? Do something together?"

"You want to watch a movie?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," Bella said firmly. "A movie." She picked up the remote controller to the TV and pressed it into my hand. "Pick something."

I grinned once again at the expression on her face. She headed over to the cabinets and rummaged through them.

"At least you can grocery shop," she said. "I don't know how Charlie even survived before Sue moved in."

"He spent a lot of time down at the diner, from what I hear," I said, answering her question.

Bella grinned.

"Chicken Pot Pie?" she asked, pulling out a large vat from the freezer. "It's the only thing big enough I see that's easy to make. You haven't eaten, have you?"

"No," I answered. "Chicken Pot Pie sounds great. It's easy to make, too," I agreed.

She opened the package and stuck it in the oven, turning the dial to the appropriate temperature. She came back over and joined me, where I was flipping through channels on the TV.

"Ooh! Alice in Wonderland!" she said, pointing ecstatically.

"Sure," I laughed. "A little kid's cartoon with zillions of drug references. That's what you want to watch?"

"Please?" she begged, pouting.

"Fine," I said, setting the remote controller back on the coffee table. I leaned back into the couch, relaxing. Bella leaned into me and I wrapped my arms around her, letting my hands rest on her belly. My mind was in overdrive. I couldn't figure out what had changed, why Bella was being so nice to me all of a sudden... why she was even talking to me now.

"You're so warm," she murmured, leaning into me. My breath caught in my throat. Why was she doing this? This wasn't the Bella I had known from the last few months. This was an entirely different Bella. I couldn't focus on the movie, not that I even wanted to. I cleared my throat and she looked up at me.

"What?" she asked, frowning.

"I think we need to talk," I said, tearing my eyes away from her.

She sat up. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I gaped at her. "What's wrong?" I repeated incredulously.

She stared at me in complete silence, her facial expression wavering somewhere between confusion and anxiousness.

"You haven't talked to me in months," I said, folding my arms. "Let me refresh your memory for you, Bella. Our last decent conversation was a compromise on what we were going to do concerning our child because you were married to Edward and we decided to share custody." I took a deep breath. "I'm confused. What is this? Is your marriage to the bloodsucker going sour, so you decided to come to me to see if I still wanted you? Because quite frankly, that's the only possible reason I can think of that would lead you and I to be watching Alice in Wonderland, cuddling on a couch. It just doesn't make sense!" I exclaimed vehemently.

"You're right," Bella said, sighing. She turned the TV off. "My relationship with Edward is... strained right now. But I'm married to him and I have to make this work. I owe it to him. He's my husband. But you know just as well as I do that I can't just let you walk out of my life. I've always wanted some... claim on you, I guess."

"You're the mother of my child," I said, looking into her eyes. "I think that's enough of a claim."

She looked at me like I had slapped her.

"Jake, you are my best friend. For the longest time, you were my replacement sun -- "

"I don't want to be someone's replacement sun!" I groaned. "I deserve more than to just be someone's light bulb! If your darling Eddie is your sun, then what am I? I am going to be everything for our daughter, but I can't be second best for you anymore, Bells." I tucked a piece of her dark brown hair behind one of her ears. "It hurts too much."

Bella looked stricken. "I don't want to sit on a reservation for the rest of my life while you go hunt vampires. I don't want to be the one anxiously waiting for you to come back, reading Quileute legends to our kids. Leah would do that. That's how Leah was raised. That's not how I was raise.d Renee left Charlie because she didn't want to be stuck in Forks for the rest of her life. As much as I love you, I don't want that life. And obviously, you don't want to be second-best if I'm married to Edward. I'm not leaving him. And I'm not going to carry on some relationship with you while I'm married to him, either."

"So this is just business," I said dryly. "For our daughter."

"Jake..." Bella said helplessly. "Don't be like that."

"Be like what? Don't guard myself from you because I know I'm in love with you and I can't do anything about it? Sorry Bella," I said, shrugging. "I'm not going to be your fool."

"Can't we just sit here and watch a movie and not argue for once? I'm so sick of fighting with you."

I nodded.

"I am, too," I breathed in relief. Finally, she was saying something I was thinking. "If you want to finish watching the movie, then fine." I turned the TV back on and watched Alice swell up, one huge foot pushing the white rabbit back down the stairs. I flopped back into the soft leather couch and Bella curled up against my legs.

If Bella was the white rabbit, then maybe I was Alice. Or the male version of Alice, anyway. Maybe Alice's Wonderland was Forks... or La Push... or whatever you wanted to call it. Maybe I was fruitlessly chasing Bella, just like Alice was chasing the white rabbit, only to wake up to find that it was all a dream and the white rabbit didn't even exist in the first place.

But Bella did exist. She was sitting on the couch, mere inches from me, and the bulge that made up her belly was our baby. I didn't know if I'd ever reach Bella... if I'd ever get her before it was too late. Because if Edward Cullen won, Bella would be gone forever... and it would be as if she never existed in the first place. I would have to sit through her funeral, like she was a victim in some freak accident, comfort Charlie and Renee as they mourned the death of their beloved daughter, deal with the wrath of the rest of the tribe once the Cullens broke the treaty. In a hundred years, no one would know who Bella Swan was or that she had even existed. But she would still be here... cold as ice, an undead ice box.

I shivered, not from the cold, but at the very thought of an ice-cold Bella with red eyes... a Bella from my deepest, darkess nightmares.

Another chapter finished. :) Hope you guys liked it!

I have watched Twilight countless times over the last few days. When I wrote this chapter, I didn't have a TV or internet access or a phone, so I sat on my couch, using my laptop to watch Twilight, Baby Mama, The Princess Diaries 2, and Cruel Intentions over and over and over again. Torture. It got pretty pathetic.

I'm sorry about any possible typos. I'm still typing from my laptop to this old monster desktop because my laptop won't connect to the internet. :(

Anyways, thanks for reading! Please review!
xoxo