entry_10

It has been approximately two days since 0031 told me about his role in my "operation".

I talked with 0218 today. I was understandably concerned for my safety at his approach given the nature of our last encounter. I was working alone on one of the tanks' engines at the time, and it occurred to me that if he damaged me beyond mobility, it might be hours until I was found. My hand closed around a wrench I had been using as I stood up. Old habits die hard, I guess.

He stopped just outside of swinging distance.

E-001: What do you want?

0218: 0031 says Engineer robot will not talk to him when he is working.

E-001: No I haven't been talking to him lately. But how's that any of your business?

0218: Because 0031 is being stupid and will not talk with you about problem. He is moping.

My grip on the wrench loosened. I'd been expecting another attack, not a discussion on interpersonal issues. It put me at something of a loss.

E-001: Moping. You sure?

0218: Da. It is bothering me.

E-001: Why though? I thought so long as you robots- I mean...

0218: What is E-001 saying?

E-001: Well, we're robots, right? What all do we have to mope about anyways, so long as Master Gray's happy?

0218: Maybe he is lonely and does not like when E-001 does not talk to him.

He said this like it was obvious. I didn't know how to respond.

0218: Just talk with 0031. The moping is depressing to me. Also... I am sorry about pulling your arm.

Without another word he stomped off.

He'd left me with a lot of information to process, but I had three hours until my next shift with 0031. I used it to sort through things as best as I could. When I finally found myself entering the repair station, I noticed that he didn't look up or acknowledge my presence in any way.

E-001: Why'd you do it?

He flinched, just a little, and dropped the gearbox he'd been working on.

0031: Was, bitte?

E-001: Why'd you help Gray with this?

He turned to face me, fidgeting and with his head slightly to one side.

0031: I do not understand.

E-001: You ruined my life. I want to know why. There's not much to understand there.

0031: I... did not know I was ruining your life, Herr Engineer.

Something in my head snapped.

E-001: Do you really expect me to believe that?

0031: Well it is the truth. Herr Gray required my assistance on a project, und so I helped, und that is all that happened.

E-001: Yeah, you helped all right. You want to know why I don't remember y'all being in there in the operating room?

0031: Er... I thought maybe it was because all of us Medic-bots look the-

E-001: It's because I couldn't FOCUS. It wasn't like Gray told me what he was doing and let me get ready for it. He just had them wrestle me down onto a gurney and stick me with something so I wouldn't move so much, and I remember him looking real smug before everything just DISSOLVED. I know pain. I've been ripped apart and blown to pieces and charred and stabbed and pumped full of lead more times than I can count, and I came back and just shrugged it off, but this... I couldn't think, I couldn't escape, I'd of screamed if I'd been able. You saw it happen. And you have the gall to stand there, looking me dead in the face, and say that you didn't know you were ruining my life.

0031 wasn't looking me in the face though. He was looking at the ground, and it just made me more pissed at him.

E-001: Well?

0031: I trusted that Herr Gray knew best, that is all. Perhaps I was wrong.

E-001: You think?

His head snapped back up. His face may not have been able to move, but I got the feeling he was glaring at me.

0031: You betrayed him, E-001. Of course there were going to be repercussions. Und what was I supposed to do, tell him no?

E-001: That would've been a start, yeah.

0031: He offered me a job that wasn't healing these... these idiot machines that die almost instantly. Before I would go out to battle, und we would win, but then the next day everyone I had fought with was dead. Every last one. At first I didn't care; we only existed to serve Herr Gray after all, und I would shout "Heil Gray" with the rest of the robots before running out there, completely reckless, ready to die because I was nothing. Maybe I am still nothing. But it began to wear on me. I started asking questions, und I started to care when the others did not come back from battle. Und soon I just hated it. They were stupid like I had been und not worth healing, und they died before they could become anything more. Und then Herr Gray realized how long I had been alive, und he said... he said I didn't have to fight anymore if I would help him with something else, something new. And it fascinated me.

He shifted his position a bit closer to me, still glaring. I glared back.

0031: I was encouraged to actually think for once. I was told I mattered, that I was capable of something more than just fighting someone else's war. I didn't know what the consequences would be until it was too late, und even then... well. I didn't know you personally, did I? Und Herr Gray was punishing you for betraying him. He thought it was fair, und so I did also.

It was silent for a minute. He shook his head and turned back to the table.

0031: Just... leave. I can do the rest of the shift on my own. Tell them you needed a tune-up if they ask.

E-001: Hang on buster, I'm not through talking-

0031: Yes you are, Herr Engineer. Goodbye.

I stared at his back for a bit, then left.

Looking back on the conversation, I can't say that he was entirely in the wrong.

/entry_10