I sat down on Mikey's bed and just looked at him. He was reading a comic book and didn't really notice me until he heard my silent sob. He turned his head to look at me, throwing the comic away when he saw my red, swollen eyes and the dried off tears on my cheeks.

I ran straight back home without even looking back when Raphael called my name before. I didn't even hesitate; I needed to get away, I needed to… To think clearly again.

Mike sat down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder, which only brought more tears to my eyes. I leaned my head on my baby brother's shoulder, taking a deep, shaky breath. A green hand patted my head.

- Oh, Donnie…

He sounded so very troubled and worried, making me want to just break down and cry. But no, I've cried so many times lately. It's enough.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to say something, but couldn't get any words to travel from my head to my tongue. I felt Michelangelo's head nod silently, telling me to take the time I need.

- I think I just broke up with Raph.

I kind of spit the words out, but Mikey got it. Obviously. He actually jumped a bit, staring at me with huge eyes. I tried to smile politely, but failed badly. It wasn't the time for smiles. Mike was just about to say something when I imagined Raph's hurt face when I told him that we weren't going to happen. I buried my face in my palms and gritted my teeth.

- Our…

My voice cracked.

- Our relationship is like… Like freakin' porcelain!

I sobbed at the end of the sentence. I think I got the word just right, though. Porcelain. Thin, fragile and weak porcelain.

Mike stroked my neck and hushed, trying to get me to calm down. I knew he was right, I probably should just… Not sit here and cry. I should go and talk to Raph, get things sorted out. Maybe invite Leo into our dramatic family of gayness. Maybe play matchmaker and put Mike and Leo together.

My thoughts were dripping with sarcasm, though. This whole thing was madness. Complete and utter madness.

Mikey hummed.

- Maybe it's like porcelain on the outside…

I looked at him.

- But something harder on the inside. Like stone!

He sent me one of his famous, proud grins and patted my shell, happy about his own made up metaphor. I actually managed to smile a bit, but… I sighed.

- Explain, Mikey.

He nodded, happy that he'd get to explain something to the smart one in the family.

- You're always fighting, right?

I nodded.

- Right.

- But… You never really end it. Right?

I blinked a couple of times.

- Well, until now.

Mike shook his head, making me even more confused.

- I don't think you want it to be the end.

Something hit me like a bullet. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I knew he was right. I wanted us to be together, I wanted us to be a couple. It's just… I can't stand the fights. They're killing me.

- And I don't think he wants it to be over, either. Right, Raph?

I didn't get it until the door creaked open and a puffy Raph took a step inside. He looked at me and shook his head, his eyes red and swollen, not very different from my own. I glued my eyes to the floor when the pain hit my stomach and throat again, but Mikey nudged my elbow, nodding towards Raphael. I swallowed but found my mouth dry.

I slowly stood up, as if my body moved on its own, and walked over to Raph. I forced myself to look him in the eyes and didn't turn away until he did. He carefully grabbed my hand, and I could almost feel all the hurt rushing through his veins, out to his fingertips. I turned my head to Mike and nodded a "thank you", received a warm smile and then let Raphael lead me out of the room.

He walked in silence down the stair and then sat down in the couch, dragging me down with him. He never let go of my hand, even when I didn't put much effort in clenching his palm, and that felt… Good. As if it wouldn't matter what I did or what I told him; he'd still be there, right next to me, holding my hand. I took a deep breath.

- Raph, I'm sorr-

He put a finger over my mouth and silenced me. I looked at him, confused, and he shook his head.

- I love ya, Don.

Something jumped inside of me, sending a wave of something I would describe as happiness through my body. I actually stopped breathing when he spoke those three words, and I'm not sure if my heart stopped or started beating rapidly. Possibly both at the same time.

He didn't remove his finger from my mouth, and he kept holding my hand. He looked so secure, so firm. As if it wouldn't matter what I told him now, because he'd still be satisfied with just letting me know. I don't know how he did it, but he made me want to bury my face in his neck and curl up in his arms.

- Ya can be just as complicated and confused as ya want; I'm not goin' anywhere. Not even if ya tell me to.

He practically stared into my eyes, making sure that every word made sense to me, and then slowly removed his finger from my lips. I took that as a sign that I was allowed to speak, but when I tried to, no words came out. Raphael swallowed and I sat there, mouth wide open and just couldn't find what I wanted to say. That I was incredibly happy? That I wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him 'I love you' and then run off into the sunset with him and live happily ever after? That I never wanted him to let go of me no matter how many times I told him to do so?

- I- I-

- Donnie.

I blinked when he interrupted me again, but waited for him to continue.

- Ya dun have to force yurself.

I tilted my head.

- We dun need to rush.

I almost smiled at myself when my heart jumped at the word "we", at the fact that he looked at us as a team. And I actually did smile when my body started tingling when he mentioned that we didn't have to rush. That he seemed to look at us as something that would last.

Before I could stop myself – not that I would, but you know -, I found us hugging tightly, me on top of him and my face buried in his chest. His hands held me tight and pressed me closer, and I clinged to his neck as if the world depended on it.

- I love you. I love you I love you I love you, Raph.

I felt his body tense and relax at every "I love you", and his breath came out shaking. I smiled and nuzzled up into his neck, feeling some kind of adrenaline rush when he let out a low groan and wrapped his legs around my hips.