Bella's POV
Slowly, I lifted my head up.
He was sitting in front of me, concerned look in his face.
I did not know how to speak. He was here. 30 inches away from me.
He looked still like an angel. He was the most magnificent creature I have ever seen. From all of movie stars and models, he were the most handsome.
He waited me to answer. He kept a distance to me.
''Why not?'' I answered. I did not know what else to say. This situation was a little bit awkward, because I was something he never wanted me to be. I was a vampire.
Also, he had left me. He was literally my ex-boyfriend. I was not supposed to be here with him.
He changed his position, got up and held his hand to me. I watched it for a second. His fingers were long, elegant. Like fingers of pianist's. Well, he was a pianist.
I took his hand and he helped me to get up. He smiled me for a while, until he let me go.
''Bella, please. Let me show my perspective of this situation. I want you to understand every bit of it.'' He told me with a soft voice.
I nodded. I was in a shock. He was talking to me after all this years. That was all what I wanted.
He breathed heavily before he started, ''I wanted you to live a long, happy life. Something that humans can offer. Something I can't even think about.'' He looked my eyes. I wondered were they black as a night. I remembered his diary. The words hit me again. He was really telling the truth. But I was not ready for it.
''I did not want you to suffer. Not in any way. The change is difficult. Long process of painful hell. Human memory is like a blur. You could have been able to forget me.''
He stopped for a moment.
''Were you?'' I asked suddenly.
He looked at me confused, ''Was I what?''
''Able to forget me?'' I did not want to know the truth. Why I was even asking these questions?
He seemed to be confused again. He was having so many emotions, that he was not even sure what to feel. I did not need Jasper's powers to tell how he felt.
''I am sure by now you know that we are not able to forget anything.'' He answered clearly, ''Not a tiny bit.''
I nodded again, ''Since when you have been with Tanya?'' I meant a good with this question. I asked it as nicely as I was able to.
''What? Why you think so?'' He asked, ''Bella, you must misunderstood this situation. I am not with Tanya.''
''But you-'' I did not know how to continue. They almost looked like they were in intimate relationship. Was I becoming crazy?
''How should I say this?' He kept a little pause again, ''I have never been with Tanya, and never will. She has always been only a family friend. She is interested on me, but I am only thinking her as a friend.'' I nodded. I was a little bit embraced. I was a fool. What should I do now?
''I believe you have something more to say. Sorry to intercept your talk.'' I said. He smiled a little bit, ''You have nothing to apologize. I have done something terrible. I left you, for your own good. But- I believe a destiny cannot be changed,'' He told me, ''I was a fool. What I was thinking? You'd get a contact with any vampire If you'd like to. You knew what you were looking for.'' He seemed to be disappointed, ''I am sorry I failed you.''
''What are you talking about?'' I asked fastly. He was going insane.
''I assume you never wanted this, but you still asked for it.''
''I never wanted this, yes you are right. But-''
''And I was talking truth about being vampire! And you never listened to me!'' Lie. I was always listening to him.
''Edward stop!'' I shouted as I tried to calm him down. I had put my hands to his chest. When I realized it, I dropped my hands immediately away.
''I have always wanted this. Since I was with you. I was afraid of the changer-changed bond that could happen sometimes. But I believe I have nothing with Garrett. I just wanted to you to change me. But, a situation is a lot different now.'' I told him, ''I have said to you all I have to. I just not believe you never loved me enough to make me equal with you.''
He became sad, ''That is not what I think. I wanted to give you more that I could. All you desired.''
''Another lie,'' I told him, ''You were all what I ever wanted, but you were never ready to give yourself to me.''
I felt like my feet were going to fall. Can vampires feel like that?
''Bella. Hear me say-''
''Stop before you start. You have done plenty damage all ready. Isn't that enough?'' I turned around to see forest.
There was a one problem. I did not see anything. I was falling to the ground before I was realizing.
But I never hit a grass.
Edward held me in his lap. We both were on knees on the ground. He held me from behind, gently. His arms were warm around me. His touch was gently, a little bit unsure. After a while it became secure.
My head fell again. I put my hand on my face. I was a broken little thing.
''Bella. You are alright. I am so sorry I did this to you.''
I cried without tears. This all were messed up.
''You are alright…'' He whispered into the evening, ''You are alright…''