A/N – well, hello there! Really sorry about the wait and I hope the length of this makes up for the delay. I just have to work on my other stories now before people boycott them in protest of how long its taking me to update... for some reason I just can't write fluff!
It's extremely frustrating. No, really – it's almost suicide-inducing!
Chapter 10 – reunion... part two
Bella's pov
As I was walking to the ATM machine, I kept getting this feeling that I was being followed – the feeling in my gut was so strong and steadily getting stronger... but this was Forks. Why in the hell would anyone in Forks want to follow me?
Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed me from behind, one clamping down on my mouth and the other snaking around my waist; my instinctive scream was muffled but other instincts were now kicking in. I threw my head back, into the nose of my attacker and breaking it before stamping on his foot and elbowing him in the ribs then breaking into a sprint down the street; I found myself believing that I could get away, that if I could run fast enough for long enough, that they would give up – I found myself hoping for this, almost expecting it to happen.
And for a moment it was real...
Until another man appeared at the end of the street. I was running too fast to stop so I tried to swerve around him but he intercepted me, his huge mass – and height – allowing him to stay put against my momentum as he grabbed my arm in his big, calloused hand; I twisted out of his grip but he just recaptured my arm, securing it with both of his hands. Other men encroached then and I frantically started kicking at my captor's groin, trying to escape before I was inescapably trapped. The instinct to fight was now pulsing strongly through my veins.
I managed to break free, but three other men – including the one I had broken the nose of earlier – descended around me. I elbowed one of them in the face as I raced past but suddenly both my arms were caught in hard, unyielding grips; I screamed again but my throat was dry at this point and it came out like a strangled cry. I was forced to the ground, pinned down as they tied my hands behind my back, gagged me and tugged a scratchy sack over my head.
They tried walking me to wherever they were going – probably their getaway vehicle – but I kicked and struggled still... so one of them grabbed my legs and the three of them – with another of them leading the way – carried me to their car. I was stuffed in the boot – which smelled faintly of BO – and then they drove.
They drove for only fifteen minutes and all the time staying at roughly thirty miles-per-hour – both being sure signs that I hadn't been taken out of Forks – before I was hauled out of the car. I was manhandled up an uneven path, into a house – or something of that nature – and up a flight of stairs until I was thrust into a room.
I landed on something... softer than the floor, which fell back under me with a grunt. The bag was then lifted off my head and I found myself looking into two incredibly gorgeous, jade eyes. Eyes that were incredibly moving in their expressiveness. Eyes that I had been obsessing over for almost as long as I could remember – which wasn't really saying much but you get the general idea, right?
"Bella?" Edward breathed, his angelic face somehow showing recognition... was my face showing attraction? I instantly felt the familiar guilt creep upon me.
"Edward," I said. Abruptly I felt the crushing weight of repressed memories bearing down upon me, trying to break through the dam of my amnesia that was trying – successfully up until this point – to hold them back.
My eyes ran over his form, his muscles – defined and sharp before he was kidnapped – had shrunk and softened only slightly in the three weeks he had been held captive; I could still make out their shape through the T-shirt he wore, his face – mercifully untouched by the cruel hands of his captors – was looking down at me in surprise and wonderment, his hands – pleasantly large and calloused with long fingers – were wrapped around my waist, his chest rose and fell below me. I saw something change in his face but I couldn't process what was going on around me as my memories came crashing back down on me like a skyscraper... and those things are huge!
I was relieved. Really, really, overwhelmingly relieved.
I know it sounds strange, especially coming from a spy, but it was true. There wasn't some mystery guy waiting for me in some random city with a futile hope of being with me, I wasn't going to have to chose between them. The person who had captured my heart, both then and now – the person who had earned my respect like no other, both then and now – was laying underneath me in a dank, grimy room that wasn't fit for a dog. Or a rat. Or the pestilent-infected fleas on a rat. Or... I could go on all day here.
Edward gently manoeuvred us until I was on my knees and he was crouched behind me, untying my hands. All my training in espionage had completely gone out the window as I turned and looked into his apprehensive face. The revelation hit me hard; he seemed to remember me... could he? Could he recognise the mature face of a child he hadn't seen in nearly nine years? It was a pretty big ask; and I was slightly hesitant to make it.
I decided to make sure he was in fact the child that I had loved when I was little before I could hope for him to remember me... or before I said or did anything embarrassing, "Edward... Masen?"
He nodded and I could finally enjoy the relief I felt earlier. Edward looked confused so I explained to him my dilemma – pathetic compared to what he had gone through I know, but I told him anyway – over the last three weeks... Oh god; Alice is going to be so fucking worried about me – I wouldn't put it past her to actually come here herself, possibly dragging the others along too... oh shit was I in trouble.
I pushed all unpleasant thoughts about Alice and the outside world out of my mind and decided to concentrate on Edward, not letting my happiness slip from my grasp. He made it easy, grinning at me like he had just received the world's best present... ever.
Edward then blurted out randomly, "You know, you're still the only girl I've kissed," he paused then warily added on the end, "...willingly."
"Willingly?" I asked, abruptly furious that someone had taken advantage of him. He was innocent and I would not stand idly by when that had been forcibly ripped away from him. People would definitely pay and I would make damn sure of it. This was an issue with me even with strangers, but the strength of my reaction and my resentment still surprised me.
He only nodded. "Who?" I asked – nearly growled – my thoughts jumping to my next target, and the most painful methods I could use to take her out. Heads would roll...
"Tanya. Erm, she kinda forced herself on me when I first got here – but I didn't kiss her back or anything, I swear!" Shit, Edward thought I was angry at him! I reached out to assure him that I wasn't, but he shouted out defensively, "I'm sorry!" ...It was heart wrenching.
I asked what he was sorry about – because, lets be honest, what the hell did he have to be sorry about? – and he told me he felt guilty about almost everything. He shouldn't. So I comforted him, rubbing his arms until I noticed the old, worn friendship bracelet around his wrist.
He blushed a little, "I never take it off."
"Neither do I," I smiled softly – and hopefully reassuringly – at him.
"You don't blush any more," he said, disappointment deeply concealed in his tone – but I, who knew him so well and had been trained as a spy, could sense it. So, I allowed myself to blush then; he seemed to be noticing almost everything about me. As a spy, I should have been nervous and alarmed – but as a nineteen year old girl... I was over the freaking moon.
Edward shifted so he was leaning towards me, I knew he what was going to do – I was quite adept at reading body language – and prayed we wouldn't be interrupted... and that it would be how I had fantasised it would be – both with Edward and the mystery boy from my childhood.
He kissed me.
And it was even better than my fantasies, so much better. Words could be used in an attempt to describe it, but there was nothing like actually feeling your true love's lips on your own in a passionate embrace. It was the epitome of romance and truly undefinable.
We broke apart, both grinning broadly. Thank god Edward liked it as much as I did! But not even the bliss of kissing Edward could keep out the reality of where we were and what condition he was in. We needed to get out of here; I adored his family and couldn't put them through any more heartbreak, but more importantly, Edward's well-being and happiness was on the line. He couldn't go through any more pain. He just couldn't.
"Come on," I said, as I hopped up to my feet and turned to hold a hand out to him.
"What?" he looked completely nonplussed, it would have been funny... if it wasn't for the situation we were in. Just thinking about it made me unbelievably angry.
In an attempt to subdue my anger I feigned slight annoyance and rolled my eyes and answered his unspoken question, "We've got to find a way out of here, obviously." How could he not see that?
"And just how are we going to do that? If we pull the boards off the window – which will be noisy and alert them to what we're doing – we still have to jump out of the second story window and if we go out that door we have about five or six thugs to get through."
I felt my face fall, "But they'll cut you up even more if we're not out of here by tomorrow." I couldn't bear the thought of that happening to him... again.
I slowly sank to the ground next to him, despondently. "Shh," he whispered pulling me into his lap and hugging me tightly. It mad me feel bad, now that he was comforting me.
I traced the burn on his arm, careful not to touch the sensitive skin, "They all miss you terribly, you know? It was like they could barely function while you were missing, they were so miserable without you." I told him what I had witnessed and he rested his head on my shoulder. "I saw the last DVD of you, I watched it with Carlisle... you should've seen him Edward, he was so broken seeing you in pain. It'll break their hearts if you don't get out of here today or tonight."
I turned round to look at him, both of us having matching tears on our cheeks, and matching sadness in our eyes. He felt bad that his pain was hurting others, more so than he cared about himself... The universe is a seriously fucked up place if people like Edward are made to suffer so horribly. These people were sick and disgusting, I couldn't wait to get my hands on them, I would make them each suffer as Edward and his family had. Call it karma if you will...
He gathered me up in his arms and nodded against my neck, I tried not to squirm at his scratchy stubble – it was halfway between tickling and feeling really, really nice, "I'll agree to try, but we need to think about it first or else everything will be made worse if they catch us."
I nodded realising my emotions were overpowering reason, only Edward could cause such an upheaval within me and he didn't even know it. I stayed comfortably in his arms, letting the side of me that was ecstatic that I had found Edward – and especially since he felt the same way about me than I did about him – again have her way for a moment. I felt so at peace in his arms, I'd almost forgotten what that felt like.
Being a spy clearly had its downsides...
I woke up abruptly to find myself being wrenched from my pillow, more widely known as Edward. A sweaty hand clamped down on my mouth as my scream was leaving it, my arms were being tied behind my back roughly and I watched as a valiantly struggling Edward was forced onto his front, his face pushed into the floor as someone else bound his arms behind his back and gagged him with a scrap of old, kinda slimy material tied around the back of his head for all the enraged shouting he was doing.
Once his arms were secure he was yanked back roughly by his hair and shoulder so he was kneeling. The hand on his shoulder kept him from rising. I was taken to the other side of the room so I could see his face and he could see me. Well, if he stopped glaring at Victoria, that is... I wonder if he even knows her name.
I wasn't even sure if he even noticed the huge knife she held in her hand; because I sure as hell did. She continued to smirk at him as she leisurely fingered the blade, bringing it up in front of her face so there was no way Edward could miss it. I don't think I could hate anyone as much as I hate her... except maybe that Tanya slag who forced herself on him.
"Oh, Edward, that t-shirt doesn't suit you at all; I think you're better off with a more natural look." And with that, she flicked the knife under his sleeve and sliced it open. She did the same with the other sleeve, then caressed the skin of his abdomen under his shirt with the blade for a few moments before slicing from hem to neck and taking his shirt off him and provoking a new wave of struggling from me. I knew it wasn't the smart thing to do but I just couldn't turn my emotions off when it came to Edward. My heart wouldn't let me.
Victoria smirked at me before turning back to Edward and saying, "Well, look at that. She can't stand to see your bare chest with all my marks running across it," she sighed regretfully and ran her blood soaked talons lightly, almost lovingly, across the inflamed scars that were beginning to form, "and you were both so cute all wrapped in each other's arms this morning, I guess that wont be happening again."
Victoria stalked around to his back and pushed his head forward and down as he started to struggle again, with her free hand she ripped the gauze off his back, making Edward shudder in pain. Victoria grinned, "Well, if she can't stand your chest then god knows what will happen to her if you show her your back! Can you die from repulsion and disgust?" she leaned in and whispered to him, her scarlet lips brushing his ear as her cavernous, raven coloured eyes locked in mine, "I know for a fact that you can die from fear..." her intimate touch igniting such a deep, all-consuming rage within me as I hadn't ever experienced before. The weight of it paralysed me.
I watched his pale shoulders heave and flinch as Victoria poked and prodded at his back. Eventually she got bored with her game and pulled out the knife again, trailing the cold, hard point across his shoulders then over his collar bone as she leisurely circled him again. "Now, where to keep my tally..." she muttered, "On your back again? But then we wouldn't be able to see it clearly... it would get lost with all your other scars there to hide it. How about on your arm? Or perhaps your chest?"
She then ran the knife up his neck – along the life-giving veins pulsing in his neck – and rested the point on his cheek, just above the material of his gag – hard enough to be painful, but not quite hard enough to tear the skin – and she crouched down to his level. "How about here, on your face, so that every time Carlisle looks at you, every time you look in the mirror you'll be reminded of how long they kept you waiting and suffering in here." She sneered in Edward's face. Edward's only reaction was to keep glaring at Victoria, even as her other hand came up and stroked his other cheek. "But it's a shame to waste such a pretty face. Looks like its gonna have to be your chest after all."
She lunged forward, pushing him onto his not-yet-healed back, eliciting a pained hiss form Edward before she had even touched him with the knife! I started struggling in earnest now, finding purchase with my teeth to bite my captor's hand and stamping on his foot. My struggles, however, didn't get me very far as, in a bored tone, Victoria commanded that I be gagged with something more durable than a human hand and chained to the wall.
Just great.
Once I was secure, hands shackled behind my back and a disgusting cloth stuffed into my mouth, everyone turned their attention once again to Edward. Victoria – for once leaving out all the dramatics – just smirked, plunged her knife into his flesh and cut down his pectoral. Fortunately, the cut wasn't deep enough to render the muscle useless, but it would still need stitches. The blood started trickling down his torso, my eyes helpless but to follow the crimson path until it pooled on the floor next to him. Victoria then stood up, casually snapped a picture, then sauntered out with all her cronies following her; she was careful not to get any of his blood on any part of her.
Fucking cow.
I glared at them as they walked past with all the hate and revulsion that I could muster. If one of them had looked at me I was sure he would have dropped dead, convulsing and foaming at the mouth... alas, not one of them looked at me and my efforts were put to waste. Shame; I would've got a lot of satisfaction from watching that...
Once they left I immediately spit the material out my mouth and focused my attention on Edward, "Are you alright?" I asked desperately hoping the answer would be yes. I needed him to be alright; just like I needed air to breathe.
He looked at me raising an eyebrow as his eyes darted down suggestively – not like that. Jesus – oh; right. He was still wearing the gag. "Oh... woops."
He rolled his eyes playfully then looked at the ceiling and frowned in concentration, I started to become really concerned when he started arching his back and shifting his hips. But just as I was about to ask if he was alright, he pulled his hands out from underneath him – the rope still trailing from one wrist – and pulled the material from his mouth.
I grinned at him and he gave me a tired half smile in return. He came over to me but there wasn't much either of us could do about the chains on my wrists. He eventually gave up and leaned on the wall next to me, "Sorry," he sighed again.
"For what?"
"For dragging you into this; that our reunion had to be like this, I'm sorry you're stuck in here with me," I could tell that he was still feeling a lot of unnecessary guilt over this so I tried, yet again, to erase it from him and put his mind at ease.
"Edward, there's nowhere else I'd rather be," I assured him, putting as much enthusiasm into it as I could in hopes that that would inspire confidence in my words – and himself.
He raised a brow at me disbelievingly, "Really? Because I can definitely think of some places I'd rather be."
I chuckled at him, "So can I, but I only want to be in those places if you're there with me."
He smiled shyly, looking up from beneath his eyelashes, and all the air left me as he carried on speaking not noticing that he had managed to turn a hardened spy into a puddle of goo with just a look, "It's the same for me Bella. I... I think I love you." He paused and took a deep breath, "I think I always have."
Now just how does he expect me to even think – let alone reply – after that? "Uuhhhh..." my mind had been caught up in the romance of the statement and had consequently abandoned its post as the thinking part of my body.
He started fidgeting nervously, "It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same you know, I just... had to tell you. I don't know what came over me really, not that I don't love you or that I don't want you to know that I love you but there are probably a million better ways, times and places to say it. I know it wasn't really romantic or anything, but I just couldn't wait for a better moment, I just knew that you had to know now... "
"I do!" I blurted out before that ridiculous notion could plant itself too firmly in his head, "I do feel the same – you just left me speechless there for a minute."
He grinned a grin which was purely swoon-worthy and said, "When we get out of here, do you wanna go out? Like, on a date?"
I just nodded and leaned my head back against the wall. He had just reminded me of the fact that I had failed to get him out last night, and now he has yet another scar from my negligence! I was a spy! I should be able to do this without breaking a sweat! I thought of Carlisle, Esme and Edward's friends; what were they thinking now? Would they be able to get the money? Are they imagining Edward being carved into right now? Why was the world so unfair?
"Hey, what's wrong?" Edward asked, concerned as he coaxed my face up with one gentle finger under my chin. It was a sweet, tender, intimate gesture and I loved it. I loved that we were so comfortable around each other again. It was almost like the last nine years never happened.
"You don't deserve this Edward, and neither does your family! It's just hard to wrap my head around how fucked up the world is to allow this to happen to such good people," I cried desperately, as if the universe would hear and then take pity.
"You don't deserve this shit-load of crap either Bella." Edward said quietly, he lifted a hand to brush a stray lock of hair of my face and behind my ear, "Hell, if the world were right then you'd be an exotic princess somewhere adorned with the loveliest of flowers, precious metals and gems; surrounded by luxury and servants eager to do your bidding. Your skin would only feel the smooth comforts of silk or the soft caresses of velvet. You would be hailed as the rose amongst the thorns, yet no flower could compare to your beauty, neither inside nor out. The noblest of men would fight to be in your presence, for your honour and your well-being. You would know no pain or challenge to your will – not even if you fell in love with a lowly servant like me, as no one could protest against the power of your beauty and kindness."
Aawwwwwww, his speech was so romantic, it literally knocked me senseless as I then apparently decided it would be a good idea to say, "You're a real romantic at heart aren't you?"
He blushed and looked down at his fidgeting fingers, "Uh... yeah," he eventually admitted reluctantly.
"Well, thank god for that! I thought I would be the only sappy one in this relationship." He grinned shyly at my attempt to lighten the mood. "But that was really sweet. Thank you," I said with a soft smile, before leaning over and kissing him chastely on the lips. I couldn't get enough of kissing him, I just couldn't get enough of him. His body and mind and soul were an amazing enigma that repeatedly left me fascinated and in awe. It was hard to find a truly good person in this day and age... "Can I look at your back?" I asked hesitantly.
Edward shifted uncomfortably, "It's really not a pretty sight, Bella..." he looked at me with a pained expression.
"I don't care; I want to see what they did to you," I said with nearly all the strength I had left in me.
He looked at me calculatingly for a moment, studying my face, probably to see how determined I was to see his back... or maybe to see any indication of how well – or indeed if – I would be able to handle the sight of it. It didn't matter because either way I was set; being a spy meant I had seen a lot of gruesome things, plus my determination and stubbornness was legendary, so I was constantly told. I stared him down and finally he shifted round so his mottled back was facing me. As soon as I saw his back I gasped; if Edward had been anyone else, I would've been able to take in the sight with merely professional concern. However, staring at those angry, puffy red and purple and green marks covering the boy I loved... it was an entirely different matter.
Edward had tensed – not really flinched, but tensed – at the sound of my gasp as if he was waiting for me to reject him. Yeah... not going to happen. I awkwardly shifted onto my knees – fucking manacles restricting my movement – and leant forward to place another chaste kiss at the top of his spine. When he didn't relax immediately, I continued kissing along his broad shoulders relishing in the feel of Edward under my lips. As strange as it sounds, kissing Edward's back and scars seemed more intimate than kissing him on the lips...
I was once again reminded of how much I hated the situation. We couldn't we have reunited like normal people – you know, just accidentally bumping into each other on the street? Was that really so hard? I guess neither of us was really all that normal. I rested my forehead on the top of his back once he had completely relaxed and glanced down; his back was now dirty – a result of being pinned to the floor as he was cut – and there was now a risk of infection if it was left like that... People die from infection! No insult that anyone could think of could possibly hope to encapsulate Victoria's immorality and repulsion and vulgarity and just... plain... evilness. Or my anger at her for being like that. Only the devil himself could match her – and I'd seen a lot of fucked up things in my time – being a spy and all...
We weren't there for long before my tears – which I had been desperately fighting to keep a hold of for a while now – finally burst through the dam of my eyelids and fell onto his abused, tender flesh. The world just didn't make any sense. I held my sobs in but as soon as Edward felt my tears on his skin he turned around and cradled my face against his shoulder, trying to give me as much comfort as possible and soothe my pain through the chains that bound me. How did I end up being comforted by him again? He had always been the strong one, now it should be my turn to be strong for him – once I had my breathing under control, that is...
Some time later, a blonde walked in the room carrying two pizza boxes and a couple of cokes... now that I saw the food, I realised I was starving. This was too good to be true, I watched suspiciously as the woman set the food down on the floor and produced a key. Which she then used to unlock my manacles before turning round and going back to the door, pausing to let us know that she would be coming back with something to clean Edward's back, some gauze and if she could, a new t-shirt for Edward. Something was definitely off about this...
"Who the hell is that and do we trust them?" I whispered – maybe a bit too harshly to Edward once the door had closed – noting that I had said 'we' while Edward didn't even notice and eyeing the intruder until I recognised her from some of the demonic DVDs.
"That's, uh... Tanya and yeah, I'm pretty sure we can trust her," Edward replied confidently.
"What?" I almost screeched, "You're telling me that the same Tanya who forced herself on you, the same slut who I had to watch dance around you with food while you got nothing but bread and water... is trustworthy? Are you out of your goddamn mind? Who's to say she isn't doing this just to try her luck at getting in your pants again? Who's to say that she isn't doing this just to gain your trust to later turn against you? Why on earth would you freaking trust her Edward?"
"Because she was the one who cleaned me up after my torment. She risked herself to bring me – us – good food so we don't starve and waste away... she's been nice to me." Edward shrugged, "Besides, it's not like I'm telling her my deepest, darkest secrets. I figured why not appreciate the help she was offering? ...plus I'm not easy to deceive, Esme says I have a knack for being able to tell whether people are lying to me or not."
Edward went to the pizza boxes and opened them both, nudging one to me as he picked up a slice out of the other one and bit into it. I stared at the pizza, still suspicious of it until Edward noticed I wasn't eating and then offered me some out of the same box he was eating from. He grinned at me around a mouth full of pizza as I resignedly nodded and picked up another slice of pizza and held it near my mouth for me to bite – after I'd sniffed it.
Tanya – as she was politely known; the name was too good for her in my opinion – came back with some gauze, some cleaning materials, an old, shabby t-shirt and the keys to my chains. She unlocked me and started to clean up his back as I massaged my bruised wrists, but I just couldn't stand the sight of that whore's talons running all over my man. So I sneered at her to get out and that I would do it.
I absently noticed that Edward's ears and cheeks flamed up at my territorial display, but I really didn't care if I was out of line; I had just found him again, only to learn that Cruella Devil had tried to corrupt him – unsuccessfully, I might add – but that certainly didn't make me feel even a smidgen better about allowing her to touch him. I felt that I was entitled to at least a little bit of jealousy, if nothing else.
I told Edward to lie on his front and get comfortable – he complied silently, somehow sensing that I was not in a mood to be messed with – before applying the clean, wet cloth to his skin. I brushed the cloth over his sensitive skin as delicately as I could, kissing him whenever he hissed – which wasn't a lot, I noticed maybe slightly smugly – and taking care of him with all the reverence he deserved; he was wrong earlier when he talked about himself as a lowly servant, he was a god: a Greek god, a sex god... he was the whole package. Pun not intended – however true it may be...
I lovingly taped the gauze over his back, trying to tape over as little tender scar-tissue as possible. I smoothed the last of the tape down and sat back as Edward sat up. He looked at me with glassy eyes as I began to clean the fresh wound on his chest. I taped gauze over that as well and kissed it before looking up into Edward's eyes. They held so much emotion as he uttered a quiet, hoarse "Thank you," and grasped me in his arms. I gingerly returned the hug, placing my hands on the outer edges of his shoulders and releasing my tears the same time as his. By now I was getting really fed up of crying.
After a while we broke apart and Edward put on the t-shirt that Tanya had salvaged – or possibly swiped – for him. We finished off eating what we could of the pizzas, leaving only five slices for Tanya – not that she deserved them, I thought – then leant against the wall, I rested my head on Edward's shoulder and he rested his head on mine. I didn't notice when Tanya came into the room to clear up our mess. The emotional stress of the day was now making me weary, even though I wasn't sure what time it was or even how long we had been awake for.
"Bella?" Edward asked softly after some time had elapsed.
"Yeah?" I answered just as softly.
"Are you happy? I mean, with your life? With whatever you're doing?" he asked and I detected a hint of nervousness in his voice. "What are you doing by the way?"
"Well, I work – I didn't go to uni but I work for the government. I have a few close friends, not many, and my job is... stressful, but very satisfying." I think he could tell that I was holding something back from him. I was thankful we were only newly reacquainted, or else he probably would've pushed it; I couldn't lie to him, even though it was forbidden to tell others about our secret group of agents.
He grew quiet after this revelation and I couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind, whether he was speculating or whether he was thinking about something else entirely. "Are you?" I asked. He turned his head slowly and looked at me, "Are you happy?"
He frowned, as if my question required serious thought, "I'm... content," he eventually answered. "Mostly."
"Mostly?" I asked.
"...Yeah. I never had anything to complain about in my life, I knew I was lucky..." he trailed off.
"But there was something missing." I finished for him knowing the feeling.
"I missed you." He confessed, "So much. Everyday. I always knew it was you I needed, I just never had the courage to do anything about it. I always thought you would hate me for abandoning you... I couldn't bear it if you hated me, if I contacted you and you rejected me. I guess I thought it would be better if I could still hope that you liked me, my fear of rejection was so great I was convinced you would immediately shun me at the mere mention of my name."
"How could you think that, Edward?" I asked, now slightly concerned for his mental stability. I took his face gingerly in my hands, "Why on earth would you think, even for a moment that I would – that I could – reject you?" I asked pleadingly, looking deep into his eyes, as my thumbs stroked his cheeks.
"I abandoned you?" he was uncertain now, "I know I wasn't a cool kid. I mean, why would you want me? I was into comics, I had hair that looked like I had just lost a fight with an electric socket, I had really severe acne, I was weedy... I was nothing. I was a hopeless pushover! At first I tried to hold my own, but in the end I just let everyone just walk right all over me. How, in any way, shape or form, was that desirable? People at my old school were ashamed to even talk to me."
"Do you still think of yourself as this weedy, geeky pushover?" I asked quietly, fearfully, beseechingly.
He cast his eyes down, and I had my answer right there. "I know I'm not acne ridden any more and neither am I such a weak pushover. I've stood up to my bullies, Bella, but I'm ashamed of how long it took me to do that. I just don't feel... valuable. If that makes sense?"
"What don't you like about yourself?" I asked hoping that I could get this straightened out once and for all. His admission had my guts twisting and knotting and my chest aching.
"I swear all the time, I'm lazy, bossy, defiant, a sucker for guilt trips, I'm still weak and geeky and... I'm bad, Bella. Really bad." I started to shake my head in fierce protest, but he cut me off, "I am. I must be if all this shit keeps happening to me. I must have done something to deserve it!"
I took a deep and necessary breath to calm myself before I spoke, "Edward. First of all, you're not lazy; if you were then you wouldn't be teaching self defence to people. Second, you're not bossy, you take control when you have to. Third,how can you be defiant and then weak and a pushover at the same time? Fourth... neither geekiness or swearing are bad things, they're actually kinda hot. Edward you might not have stood up for yourself, but you always stood up for me, you were my hero; and you never stooped to their level, you rose above the rest Edward, you are a good person and you have remained strong throughout this ordeal. I think this only happened to you because you were – are – strong enough not to break. I love you, Edward Masen, you definitely don't deserve this... and I think you are extremely desirable."
He half smiled through his tears, "Even though I'm a hopeless romantic?"
"Especially because you're a hopeless romantic." I laughed with him.
He rested his forehead against mine and we kissed sweetly. Looking into each other's eyes, I began to feel the toll of the emotional roller-coasters once again and my eyelids drooped – as did Edward's.
"I think we both need some sleep now, huh?" Edward asked, humour evident in his voice. I nodded while yawning and we both settled on the floor Edward resting his head on the pillow and me resting my head on Edward.
We were woken up in a manner similar to the previous day – me being shackled straight to the wall this time while Edward once again was pinned on his front and had his hands lashed together behind his back. We were both gagged again. Victoria kicked Edward over onto his back and straddled him, using the knife to tear his t-shirt enough so that she could get to his chest next to the other wound she had inflicted on him. With no dramatics this time, she pulled the gauze off and out the way, a sadistic sneer spreading across her lips as she slowly inserted the knife into his skin and slowly dragged it down, ignoring Edward's squirming form as, in his pain, he sometimes managed to dig the knife in deeper.
The glistening scarlet trail seeped over his chest, a sick replay of the day before as Victoria, keen to keep herself clean, stood up, snapped a picture and left Edward panting on the floor and me struggling against the wall. How could I have let this happen again? Despair took hold of me as I watched Edward free himself before crawling over to me and carefully untying my gag and hugging me close until Tanya came.
As the door slowly creaked open, I couldn't help but glare just a little at her, timidly shuffling through the door. Edward, when he heard her come in, released me so I could have my hands freed and barely noticeably smirked when Tanya said she would come back with food and left behind what I would need to clean his back. Satisfied, I smiled back at him as he leant against the wall and pulled his top down to reveal his wounds – that was when my smile faded.
I cleaned Edward up while fighting back tears, only letting them fall when I pressed my lips over the sealed gauze on his chest. Leaning back, I caught sight of the long burn running down Edward's arm; I picked his arm up and kissed that as well, our conversation from last night ringing in my ears as I tried to show him that he was valuable. I pressed my lips to the friction burns around his wrist and the other one, then remembered his feet.
"Lay down," I whispered.
He complied without hesitation, closing his eyes when he was there. I smiled at that, he must have felt safe with me to be able to do that after the 'punishment' they gave him. I kissed him on the lips again, then on the hollow of his throat before crawling to is feet; I picked one up, looking at the sole and seeing the five-day-old burns covering the majority of the skin there. I gently ran my thumb over the hardened skin and sniffled a little; hearing the noise, Edward opened his eyes, watching me warily and concerned. When the tears started to fall, he retracted his foot and had his arms around me in an instant and I realised I was being completely pathetic.
"No. I'm alright," I said wiping my tears away and composing myself, "I promise," I added at Edward's concerned look. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled us both so we were laying down next to each other, discussing quietly what we would do when we got out of here; we were so absorbed in our conversation that we didn't notice when Tanya slipped in and left us some food.
We ate it when we realised we were hungry and thanked Tanya – grudgingly on my part – when she came to clear out the evidence for us.
I had started to doze, halfway between waking and sleeping, until I jolted up without a clue as to what woke me. I nudged Edward awake and strained my ears for the slightest sound that would indicate what was going on.
There wasn't any light coming in through the window or anything so it was impossible to tell whether it was light or dark outside. Although we weren't waiting long before we found out...
I believe 'bang' is the appropriate word to describe the ear-splitting noise that echoed around the room at that point.
"Bella Swan! You are in so much trouble young lady!" Alice threatened, as she stepped out of the mess of glass and wood splinters on the floor before turning to face me while making sure there was no debris left in her hair. Only Alice would stop to make sure her hair was perfect in the middle of a rescue mission, which was, presumably, what this whole shebang was.
"Heh heh, Bella's gonna get it now!" Emmett sang smugly from outside the window. Stupid fucking Emmett. Why could he never learn to shut up and keep his thoughts to himself? It isn't really that hard if you put your mind to it. Maybe I would have to invest some time into teaching him... the hard way.
Alice rolled her eyes while I narrowed mine, "Come on, we need to get you two out of here." She sounded like an exasperated mother talking to a pair of toddlers. I was not amused. At all.
She unclipped a rope from her belt and scanned the room for something sturdy to tie it to. I leapt into action knowing that we had a severely limited amount of time to make our getaway, the bad guys were already moving up the stairs. I caught the end of the rope and tied it to a ring bolted to the wall at about waist height. I tugged on the knot to make sure it could support our body weight and ran to the window where Alice was already instructing Edward on what to do – he seemed to be taking the whole thing rather well...
The door burst open then – thank god they only had one gun between them – and I quickly disarmed Victoria. Then Tanya grabbed Victoria from behind and me, Alice and Edward rushed the other three. I managed to throw a small but feisty girl down the stairs before helping Edward with the guy on him. It was a fight; we all got bruised and scraped – it was inevitable – but now Edward was loosing even more blood from the gash above his left eyebrow.
When there was a moment of opportunity, Alice helped Edward abseil down the side of the house before quickly doing the same. I kicked a guy in the balls and then ran over to the rope to take my turn at getting out of there. I threw myself out the window – grabbing the rope as I did so – and twisting mid-flight so that my feet were facing the wall and I that wouldn't face-plant into it when the rope swung me back towards the house; quickly lowering myself to the ground as Alice and Edward made their way to the waiting van once they had seen that I was in fact getting out of there.
Once I hit the ground I ran to the van parked on the street. Emmett, Alice and Edward were watching me run towards them with wide, concerned eyes. The van started pulling away but I knew it wouldn't accelerate too much before I was on board – Jasper wasn't like that. I launched myself into the van, Alice and Edward catching me as Emmett shut the door and Jasper sped up. The police were on their way as me Alice and Edward attempted to disentangle ourselves from each other.
Eventually Emmett had to help – chuckling at us the whole time – and then we all sat down on the benches along the sides of the van, me and Emmett on one side facing Edward and Alice. I wanted to know what was going through his head but his face gave me absolutely nothing to work with. Why was he avoiding looking at me?
"Where to?" Jasper called from the front of the van.
"The hospital," I answered, "We need to get Edward checked over for infection and get his wounds stitched up, then we need to communicate with the police, file a report and then close this case."
His eyes met mine then and I got the answer to my question; he felt as if I thought of him as another client, he felt like just some other poor chump who got themselves into trouble for me to rescue – it didn't matter that I had told him I loved him, I had neglected to mention I was spy on a mission and I was now treating him like a stranger. I should've included myself in needing to get checked over, it was true but we could've done that back at base, where we usually did. I'd assumed...
Well, I don't know what I'd assumed, but worse than that – a hell of a lot worse than that – I didn't know how to make it better.
"Has anyone called Carlisle and Esme?" I asked after a brief and extremely awkward silence.
"Yeah, but we better let them know we're going to the hospital," Rose spoke for the first time as she picked up the phone, presumably to call Edward's parents.
I looked away from Edward and noticed Alice glaring at me. "What?" I defended.
"Why the freaking hell didn't you check in!" she screeched at a pitch only appropriate for dogs and bats to hear, as she leaned forward to smack the side of my head. Ow. Being friends with spies sometimes isn't all its cracked up to be, especially when they're annoyed with you... my hand came up to rub the place where she had hit me.
"Because I didn't fake the amnesia, alright!" I said, realising that they had probably – definitely – hacked into the hospital records, "I really couldn't remember one single thing before waking up in the hospital after the accident! ...Have the police been called?"
"Yeah, reinforcements were called in as we got there and are converging as we speak," replied Jasper.
Edward's pov
The van lapsed into silence – apart from the blonde female in the front, murmuring what were probably reassurances in a muted voice to Carlisle and Esme that their son was alive and kicking. After Bella's outburst, the awkwardness descended, working with the silence to create a thick, cloying cloud. Why was it taking so long to get to the hospital? I stared at my hands waiting with much difficulty until I could speak with Bella alone. I needed her to be clear about what she felt about me; the professional but patronising tenor of her previous comment, was a complete one-eighty to the professions of love that were whispered back and forth in the isolated prison.
Did she only say those things to appease me? Did she only tell me that she loved me because she felt she had to? Did she think that everything we said to each other would be forgotten once we got out?
Was it to get my cooperation? Was it all just part of the plan?
...Or was it real? Does she actually love me as I love her and it's the negative signals she's giving me that are the false ones?
We pulled up at the hospital shortly and the biggest one of our rescuers immediately opened the doors, jumping out and holding them for those of us sat in the back and we all made our way into the reception. We walked in together, Bella limping slightly as we made our way over to the desk, me slightly behind, with the giant and the midget helping me to walk now that I had lost even more blood and my adrenaline was waning and no longer supporting me as it had done during the fight. We were told by the bored receptionist to go wait in one of the chairs until someone could see us. Too tired to request urgent treatment, we nodded and complied, sitting in a line along the wall, staring inattentively straight ahead until something demanded our attention.
I just sat there, completely removed from my surroundings, my mind buzzing away, working a million miles a minute as I went over and over and over mine and Bella's time together – our most recent time together. Why hadn't she said something? I mean, fucking hell, she told me she loved me; couldn't she have squeezed in the teensy weensy little fact that she was there on purpose as well? It was like she was some sort of secret agent or something. Shit. A lot had obviously happened since we were kids in that care home. Did she even want to be with me any more? Could she even be with me if she was a spy? I knew there was a difference between that and love, I wasn't naïve.
I was called by a vaguely familiar nurse and led to a cubicle. I felt a little twinge of guilt spike through me at not remembering her name, but then again, I barely had the presence of mind to acknowledge the guilt, let alone remember her name. Exhaustion and pain were severely impinging on my ability to think clearly. I followed her in silence and remained uncommunicative as she left me to fetch a doctor. I would probably know whoever she brought back with her as well but I wasn't exactly capable of performing higher mental functions at that moment. The rush of adrenalin had now dissipated and had left me feeling drained.
The pain from my desiccated feet was now making itself known with every step I took, the cold, sterile floor only combating the burn minimally. Yet my exhaustion was beneficial in helping me to ignore the hurt flaring across the soles of me feet.
The doctor came in, took one look at me and then got right down to business, telling me to take my shirt off so he could examine me. I did as he requested and he immediately went to the newest cuts on my chest. I zoned out as he examined me more, eventually moving round to my back and removing the gauze so he could take a look at where most of my – still mostly unhealed – scars were.
I don't know if the doctor talked to me at all but I was suddenly aware of being in only my jeans as I was wheeled to the x-ray room. I think everyone had probably guessed I was in shock by now and was going to be offering up nothing but shite in the way of communication. By now I was so fucking exhausted, I was struggling so much just to keep my eyes open. I didn't know if it was the result of an anaesthetic I was given or whether I was just plain tired, but I knew that trying to stay awake was a battle that was lost before it had even begun, I had no choice but to let myself drift off.
I was so fucking ready for a nice, peaceful, comfortable sleep...
I woke up in a room, a different room than the one I had fallen asleep in and noticed that I was now clad only in a hospital gown, although I still had boxers on – which was a comforting realisation. I turned my head to the side to see Carlisle asleep on the chair next to me with Esme curled up on his chest. I felt a small smile creep it's way onto my face, I had missed them both so fucking much... I had missed everyone so fucking much, it was like I had been gone for three years instead of three weeks.
The thought caused a terrible pang to echo around my now seemingly empty chest.
They both looked utterly exhausted so I didn't wake them, but I did take note of the clean bandages around my torso as I kicked the blanket off because I was getting a little bit too hot. I sat up and looked around for a glass of water – or the means to get a glass of water – thankful that I was relatively free to move around as I had no broken bones – apart from the little finger on my left hand, which was now strapped to my ring finger – and was only hooked up to a heart monitor. I was sore and stiff – unsurprisingly – but it still made me wonder exactly how long I had been asleep for...
I would just have to ask once I had the opportunity; right now though, my priorities were getting a glass of water then taking a piss... and making damn fucking sure I was back before Carlisle and Esme woke up. After my glass of water, I was hesitant to leave, but my body was becoming increasingly and quite alarmingly insistent.
I managed to relieve myself and get back before anyone noticed I was gone – thank fucking god for that – and settled back down on my bed, trying to distract myself with thoughts of how mad Esme would be if she found out how long I had been awake without her for.
And it wasn't pretty folks...
Needless to say, it didn't work very well. Instead I thought about playing my piano again – and getting that damn tune finished! Despite my frustration, I quickly fell back asleep again, the hospital bed as soft as a cloud compared to the hard wooden floor I had been falling asleep on recently. My dreams were filled with Bella in various disguises as she constantly outran me and my family, with me getting extremely frustrated every time she got lost in the crowd; it wasn't hard to guess where they came from.
The second time I woke up, I heard a low murmuring gently coaxing me to wakefulness. As I opened my eyes I saw Carlisle rocking Esme in his lap as he muttered reassurances to her. I only got to observe them unnoticed for a few moments before Esme blinked her eyes open and looked right into my eyes. There was a couple of seconds of blank confusion before chaos erupted around us with the opening of her mouth.
"Edward!" She screamed before launching herself into my arms. Carlisle looked on in absolute shock for an instant before joining Esme in getting as much skin to skin contact with me as possible. I wouldn't have minded – honestly, I wouldn't have – if Esme wasn't also cutting off my air supply.
"Uh... mum? Do you... think you could... loosen the... hold there a little? I still... need to breathe..." I gasped out hoping she could hear me through her relieved sobs – well, I hope they were relieved and she wasn't just crying because I was alive and was now attempting to finish the job herself...
But I knew Esme wasn't like that.
Esme's scream had brought people running and a nurse and a doctor burst into the room, the nurse immediately going to Esme and prying her off me, only succeeding after the doctor stepped in to help. As Esme reluctantly let go and instead sat on the edge of the bed, firmly grasping one of my hands while the other went to stroke my forehead, Angie, Ben and Seth ran in, halting at the doorway for a split second before running over to my bed and taking turns to hug me. They all had huge, watery smiles on their faces to match mine and they were all telling me how worried they'd been and how glad they were that I was back and not damaged beyond repair. I, in turn, sat up and told them how much I missed them all and how much I thought about everyone everyday while I was being held hostage.
The only thing that was missing was Bella. "Where's Bella?" I asked, after scanning the room one more time, just to make sure I was right.
Esme's smile got even bigger at my question, "Bells and her friends are resting in another room, they're not seriously injured but they were all really tired and fell asleep here like you did. Maybe someone could go check, see if they're awake, if you like?" Esme asked, directing her question at everyone while keeping her eyes on me.
I smiled and nodded and Seth ran out the room and disappeared down the corridor. I felt tears prick my eyes again, I was so bloody happy and relieved to be back; it was overwhelming. As soon as Esme saw the tears, her arms were back around me as I let myself go and sobbed into her shoulder. I was vaguely aware of everyone else – apart from Carlisle – subtly exiting the room, but I paid no attention as I felt Carlisle's arms wrap around me from behind. A nurse walked in then and ushered Esme and Carlisle out so I could have my wounds redressed.
The nurse made idle chitchat with me as she went about her business helping to distract me from the discomfort. The scars would be horrendous, how would I be able to go swimming or to the beach?Not that I go to the beach often but I may have to invest in a wetsuit...
Once the nurse had finished, she quickly went out to let everyone back in. And then there she was, coming through the door. My angel. My Bella... or, she used to be. She had changed – a lot – and the missed opportunity that was currently rubbing itself in my face caused a wave of melancholy to sweep through me. She smiled softly at me, lightening my mood slightly and moved to the side to let Esme get back to her seat next to me.
"Hey," I croaked. Damn, it sounded like I had just attempted to drown myself in a sandpit – and that thought did absolutely nothing to help make me feel better.
"Hi," she said back, being pushed forward by the sheer volume of people trying to cram themselves into the room behind her. There were the four of her friends, Seth, Ben and Angie, plus both my parents all moving in behind her – and this wasn't exactly a large room...
But now that she was here, I didn't have a clue what to say to her, how fucking ironic. Maybe I should've thought about what I should say to her while she was out of the room and it wasn't up to me to think on my feet... but I didn't; so I just went with, "How are you?" feeling like the fucking village idiot as I did.
She nodded and answered with a cheery voice, looking me straight in the eyes, "I'm good; a little scratched and a little bruised, but other than that I'm well rested now, and perfectly fine. Absolutely nothing for you to worry about."
Was I really all that transparent?
I nodded back. My eyes wondered to the other people – her friends – who had entered the room with her, "Hi... and erm, thanks – really." I muttered feeling like it wasn't nearly enough, they had just busted me and Bella out of there, after all. And that was no easy feat.
Everyone seemed to be determined to stay in the room – despite the serious lack of space – and several conversations sprung up around me simultaneously. I tried really hard to pay attention to them, I tried to see whether everyone was getting along and I desperately tried to get a hint about when Bella and her team were going to depart... but I was quickly growing tired again and found my eyes closing without my permission. I fought off the weariness as long as I could before I finally had to admit defeat and allowing the dark, encompassing comfort of unconsciousness claim me...
The third time I woke up, I felt much more alert. I opened my eyes to see my mum sat in the chair reading a magazine of some sort. I smiled and said, "Hey. I'm really sorry about just nodding off on you all back there."
Esme looked up at me quickly, a delighted smile spreading across her face. "Oh honey! Everyone understands, you need to sleep to heal," she started breaking down into harsh sobs then, "After all the... injuries you've sustained, you needed all the sleep you could get." I held out my arms and she quickly fitted herself into them, crawling onto the bed with me – luckily, Esme was small, making it a fairly easy fit. It looked like it would take her a while to get over this; it might take me a while to get over it too...
I hushed her gently and rubbed her back in what I was hoping was a soothing manner, until Carlisle came in and rescued me from her clutches. I was beginning to feel more like a damsel in distress every day. Not a pleasant thought to be having... unless you were a girl and into that sort of stuff...
Carlisle pulled Esme off me and brought her onto his lap while he sat on the chair. I sat up and reached for the glass on the bedside table, downing it in one go. The cool liquid was like heaven as it slid down my decimated throat, as soon as I had finished the glass, I looked around for a tap.
I felt Esme's fingers wrap around mine, "I'll get you some water dear," she said and I could see in her eyes how important it was to her to get me the fucking drink, so I let her with an easy, appreciative smile.
However, I still knew that that shit was going to get old after a while. Esme's 'mother hen' instinct was insanely strong; it was the fucking stuff of legend!
"Thank you," my head whipped around to stare confusedly at Carlisle, prompting him to elaborate, "For coming back to us in one piece, and for being so tolerant of Esme. I know she can be a bit overenthusiastic at times and especially when you've just come back to us from being kidnapped; I'm sure this is a bit overwhelming for you and I wanted to say thank you for your patience... I'll try and help tone down her mother hen instincts, but you're gonna have your friends to deal with too, son. Good luck with that and I hope you make it out alive."
He smirked at me playfully and patted me on the shoulder.
I rolled my eyes and replied, "Honestly dad, at the moment I'm loving this almost as much as mum is... I know that's gonna change in a bit and I'll try and have all my patience ready for that. But I'm just so glad to be out of that hell-hole... I can't even describe it."
He smiled sadly at me then changed the subject, "So, you've met Bells then?"
I blushed, "Yeah... Wait, she was the amnesia patient you were bringing home; wasn't she?"
He looked at me surprised – probably shocked that I had remembered – and replied a little cautiously, "Yeah, she is. She's been very helpful while..." he pause and gulped, "You know – over the last three weeks." Like I needed the reminder of that fucking place.
I nodded and we lapsed into a comfortable silence, only breaking it to say a quiet 'thank you' when Esme bustled into the room with a glass of water for me. She sat next to me on the bed, covering the hand in my lap with her own, and a sudden thought occurred to me. "Dad? When do we get to go home?"
"Only a couple of days now Edward. You're healing well," Carlisle replied looking at me strangely and stroking my hair.
Then there were tears in his eyes. Tears. I'd never seen Carlisle even come close to crying. The sight was enough to set my own tears off as well.
"We're so proud of you, son," Carlisle whispered to me. I looked bemusedly at Carlisle, once again wondering what the hell he was going on about – either he was suddenly becoming a cryptically speaking philosopher or I had taken a few too many hits to the head – however he smiled indulgently at me and continued patiently, "For staying so strong throughout that ordeal and for not giving in when so many others would have... Thank you for having so much faith in us and for loving us so much, you could see your love and determination in every video they sent us – that was the only thing that made watching them bearable."
There was no trace of his smile left by the end of his speech; instead his eyes were intense and his hand was now firmly gripping my shoulder. His tears had now broken free of his eyelids and were now running down his face.
Stupidly, I could feel a smile trying to work itself onto my face, but I bit my lip in an attempt to control it – now wasn't really the most appropriate time for smiling, considering the circumstances and Carlisle's visage being so sombre. I could feel my schooled expression slipping, so I looked away and was met with Esme's tear filled fixed on me as well – I swear none of us was ever this mushy before... but I guess this was one of those exceptional circumstances, so I guess it didn't really count.
For now, I just wanted to be held, to feel safe, to feel loved.
I think those are perfectly reasonable and perfectly understandable wants and needs.
A/N – So, I don't care if you wanna shout at me for taking so long or whatever but always feel free to leave a review... possibly suggesting ideas as to how to keep this story going for more than one more chapter – unless you want it to end soon. :{