Chapter 9 - Remember Those Walls I Built…

"Hey Severide, how soon can you take Darden off my hands?"
"Andy makes squad the day after I'm no longer in charge"

Naomi swore loudly as the brown liquid spilt down her front and the ceramic shattered on the kitchen floor, "Oh god dammit!"
She pulled the soaking shirt over her head and tried to keep it from wrecking her carefully styled hair. Her meeting was in less than an hour and she was feeling the nerves. She muttered to herself as she ran up the stairs for a fresh blouse, "Your entire career as a Trauma Surgeon hangs on this bloody meeting and you can't even drink a cup of coffee. Pull yourself together, Darden."

She had spent more time than she cared to admit thinking about her appearance for this meeting - light blue chiffon blouse, Capri pants, hair in a careful braid - so throwing a cup of coffee down her front wasn't ideal. Naomi had spent the last two weeks preparing, much to the chagrin of her fiancé and mother-in-law who would've preferred if she spent all her spare time in spas or stylist's chairs. Instead, she had been buried in research for what she hoped could be her project as a Surgical Fellow. If all went well in her meeting, she'd start her fellowship the day after she got back from her honeymoon. Honeymoon. The calendar on her fridge had the wedding date circled in red marker, along with a post-it note reminding her to pack up her remaining boxes and highlighting make up trial runs and appointments with the hair stylist. She'd spent her last few nights in her old house, savouring the quiet and making use of her research books from college before they went into storage. Luckily for Naomi and her coffee stain, a few of her lesser worn and eye-wateringly expensive items of clothing still hung in her wardrobe and weren't strewn across Harrison's apartment along with the rest of her semi-boxed belongings.

As she selected a new blouse, she heard someone knock on her door. The black and white stripes would have to do; Naomi just hoped she didn't look like a football referee, "I'm coming!" Naomi shouted into the abyss, hoping that whoever was there was at least vaguely patient. She grabbed her blazer and tried not to get her arms tangled as she ran back down the stairs. Her purse was sitting on the hallway table so she threw her keys into it and flung open the door, almost flying straight into Kelly Severide. He didn't often visit during the day and it didn't even cross Naomi's mind to wonder how he knew that she was at her own house and not Harrison's; she was just glad to see him.
"Oh god, Kelly, hey! What are you doing here?" Her face lit up the way it always did when he was around and Severide tried to savour it for a moment, before he had to send her world crashing down around her.
"Naomi, where are you off to looking so grown up?" He knew where she had to be but he hoped he could stall her for a few moments. It was hard to think that less than two hours before, he and Casey had been winding up Andy and now…
"Grown up? Seriously Kelly? I'm almost 30. I've got my meeting at the hospital about the Trauma Surgery fellowship," she checked her watch, speaking a mile a minute, "And I'm actually running late. I'll call you later?" She kissed his cheek as she darted passed him down the steps and he was sure he saw an actual spring in her step. She inhaled the unmistakable scent of smoke rolling off his body and she stopped dead as she saw the Squad 3 truck parked across the road from her townhouse, the boys staring out the window at her. Slowly, silently and deliberately, she walked back up the stairs to her front door where Kelly was still stood.
"Kelly? Why are you here?" He could hear her voice shaking as she finally took in his appearance, his face covered in soot, sweat dripping down his brow and the burn holes in his turn-out coat.
"Listen, Naomi… umm…"
The squad watched as the petite blonde dropped her purse on the steps, shaking her head. She looked up at their Lieutenant with a pleading expression, knowing what came next. Naomi had been dreading this day for fourteen years; longer even since the boys had declared that they were going to the C.F.D Academy. They'd sent Kelly, which could only mean the worst.
"No… Oh god, please no…"
"Andy, he uh…."
"No no no, don't say it. Kelly, please don't say it." Her breath hitched as she realised what he was telling her.
"I'm so sorry, Naomi… There was a call and…"
"No, Kelly… Don't say it…" Kelly reached for her, trying to draw her into a hug but she put her hand out against his chest. There was nothing he could do but stand there as she processed the devastating news, holding him back as though his embrace would shatter her composure. He could see her emotions flashing across her face as she stared into his eyes, looking for any sign that this could be a prank, "Heather?"
He was taken aback by her concern for her sister-in-law; they'd been expecting her to fall apart, "Matt's gone with the chief. Pixie…"
"I'm fine!" She snapped into action, bending down and rifling through her purse, "Where the hell are my car keys?"
He bent down next to her and grabbed her shaking hands, "Naomi, I'll drive you over."
"No, I have to get to the hospital. I'm late for my…"
"Naomi." Kelly said louder, "C'mon. Come here."
"No!" Naomi's voice was shrill, as she eventually found her keys, "I have to go."
Gently, Kelly eased the keys from her grasp, "I'm not letting you drive."
"Fine," he could tell she was trying to be angry, but instead she just sounded deflated, "Take me to the hospital please."
He didn't dare argue.

Xxx

Maggie lay down her mountain of patient files in disbelief as Naomi walked in the doors of the E.R. She was flanked by the firemen of Squad 3 and although she walked like a girl on a mission, that usually 'Naomi sparkle' had gone out in her eyes. The charge nurse glared angrily at Lieutenant Severide, "What is she doing here?"
"She wouldn't listen," Kelly tried to fire back not wanting to take his attention off the blonde but Maggie just raised her hand in a 'zip it' motion and rushed around the nurse's station to stop the doctor in her tracks.
"Naomi, you do not need to be here… Not today,"
Maggie could see that Naomi was working overtime to keep her game face intact, "I have my meeting."
"No one is expecting you to go to that meeting…" Maggie took Naomi's face in her hands, "You take all the time you need sweetheart."
"I don't know what else to do, Maggie. I don't know where else to be…" Her voice was so small and Kelly wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and lock the world out.
Maggie pulled her into a hug, "Let Severide take you home,"
Naomi clung to Maggie for a moment, burying her face into the other woman's shoulder to hide the pain that she was sure was evident on her face before nodding, "I… um… I just need a minute."
As the group stared after Naomi's retreating figure, Maggie hit Severide with the nearest file, "Shame on you for bringing her here,"
"Maggie, have you ever tried to argue with her?" It took all of Kelly's self-control not to run after Naomi and ensure that she was okay, but she was headed in the direction of the washroom so he restrained himself and continued bickering with the ER Charge Nurse, "What would you have me do Maggie? Let her drive herself?"

Naomi wasn't sure if it was the pent up nerves from the anticipation of her meeting or if this was her body's way of beginning to grieve but as Maggie had hugged her, she'd been hit with an overwhelming sense of nausea. She sank to the floor in the cubicle and leant her head back against the wall to try and steady herself. Her body was numb and she felt guilty, like she ought to have been jumping to attention and making plans. Heather was probably beside herself, her parents inconsolable, the firehouse in shock. Naomi couldn't afford to be numb, or so she told herself as the waves of nausea engulfed her again. "Get a grip, Naomi. Get a bloody grip."

Worried that if she took too long someone would come looking for her, Naomi peeled herself off the floor and ran some cold water over her wrists before pressing them to her temples. She let out a sharp exhale, releasing the emotion that was flooding her body. Get it together.

There was a different determination in Naomi's eyes when she emerged from the washroom and Kelly could tell that she'd nominated herself as the designated 'together' person. Already she was typing notes in her phone and she almost forgot to look up at the Squad, "Boys, go back to the house… you don't need to follow me around in the Squad all day."

She shook her head at the barrage of protests that followed, "No offense but you all stink. I know you're trying to be supportive but I'm going to Heather's next and I really don't want you tracking that smell through her house. Go change out and have a shower and I'll see you all later." Hadley wrinkled his nose as he sniffed his shoulder and a small smile appeared in the corner of Naomi's mouth, "Go… really. I'll be okay."

Squad 3 looked to their Lieutenant for approval and he nodded sharply. Not wanting to cover her in their 'smell', Tony, Capp and Hadley all squeezed Naomi's hand reassuringly along with small words of condolences. She looked up at Kelly expectantly, waiting for his farewell but he shook his head, "If you think I'm leaving your side then you are sorely mistaken."

She pursed her lips and Kelly braced himself for the argument, "Fine… but lose the turnout coat. You really do stink." Naomi didn't want to fight with Kelly and if she was being honest she was glad that he'd refused to leave. It would be easier to keep her composure with him by her side.

"Okay," she allowed him to stand slightly closer after he'd sent his turnout coat back to the house with his Squad, so he placed his arm lightly across her back, "Let's get going."
"Where to?" Kelly asked, putting his hand out for her car keys, "Heather's?"

"One second," They were interrupted by Naomi's ringing cell phone and Naomi winced as she saw the contact flash up on her screen, "Heather?"
"Naomi… I can't…" Naomi could hear Matt in the background trying to console her sister-in-law, "I don't…"
"I'm on my way," she tried to reassure her, "We're going to be okay, Heather."
"Can you… hic… can you please… get the boys?" The sobs were getting difficult to decipher, "I can't… hic…I can't tell them."
Naomi slumped into Kelly's chest and his arm instinctively enclosed her body, "I'll take care of it, Heather." She hung up the phone and nestled into Kelly for a split second to recompose herself. He went to kiss the top of her head but she'd sprung back into action before he could.

"We have to go pick up the boys from school," Naomi whimpered, not knowing if she was strong enough to break the news to her nephews.

A.N. This was one of the first bits of this story that I wrote and it broke my heart when it actually came time to post it. I wanted to make this chapter slightly longer but I was actually crying by the time it came to editing, so we're going to split it with the next one.

I'm going to be updating this story on a bit of a new schedule now – New Chapter every Saturday. If you're lucky and I have enough time to write and edit during the week, I may spoil you with two chapters.

Are we ready for Season 1? We've still got the looming wedding and couple more curved balls to navigate, but sadly it's time to say goodbye to our favourite Class clown, Andy. He'll still make appearances in flashbacks though, so he's not completely gone. There's so much exciting Naomi and Kelly stuff coming up, but it'd be too easy to just have them admit their feelings without a few more drama filled episodes.

Please let me know what you think! Bonus points if you can predict some of the upcoming twists, there's a small clue in this chapter

All my love,

C.I.

xxx