Long lost & gone
Chapter 10
"Do it." she felt his fangs scraping on the side of her neck. They were sitting in the bath and the water was spilling on the floor.
"No, I'm fine." he thought she wanted him to feed from her because he was hungry but he was wrong, she needed this, it was a privilege she had always shared with him and never with Stefan.
"Damon please, if it's not for you than do it for me." she was begging him not only because she knew he was starving but because she wanted her blood running trough his veins, feeding him, strengthen him.
She felt him hesitate behind her and pulled his head towards her neck to encourage him, he started placing kisses on the vein in her neck and she sighed knowing that he was surrendering, knowing that in a few moments they would be connected in two places.
She moved herself up and down on his length and felt that she would climax any second "Damon please." she whimpered. The moment his fangs broke trough her skin she felt the wave of pleasure taking over her body, her walls clenched together and she felt his fluids flow inside her, her spasms were milking him dry as she felt him sucking her blood eagerly.
She leaned back against his chest, knowing that he had better access to her throat and she enjoyed the feeling of being one with him, the feeling of feeding him her love. When her body started to feel limb he retracted his fangs and licked the wound clean, she pulled his head up and kissed him, still tasting her blood in his mouth, her tongue licked all her blood from his and she moaned knowing that he had drunk from her, that she had pleasured him in all the ways she could.
He pulled her down with him, letting her head rest on his chest "It's good to be back here.". They were in his room in the boardinghouse, they had arrived late last night and went straight to bed, not wanting to deal with all the drama, they would have enough time for that.
"Promise you'll never leave me again." she whispered against his chest, knowing he would hear.
"Where did that come from?" he lifted her chin up with one finger and looked at her.
"Just promise me whenever you leave this place that you'll take me with you even if you travel to the North Pole, don't leave me." tears started forming in her eyes and he wiped them away with his tumb.
"Why would I leave you, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be strong enough to do it." his eyes became full of sorrow.
"But you left me before, you walked away from me once and I barely survived, if you leave me again it will kill me." he kissed the tears away and stroked her hair, knowing from experience that it would calm her down.
"Yes, I left you and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made and I've made a lot of them, but I promise you, I won't leave you, I'll always be right here." she saw in his eyes that he meant it, that he wouldn't leave her, that she was save to pull him in her heart again, not that he had ever gotten out but she didn't need to be afraid anymore to be left behind like the puzzle she once was.
"Where have you been for five years?" she had wondered about it but it wasn't the most important thing to her. He was here and that was more important than the places he had been the past five years.
He sighed "Probably everywhere."she could see that he didn't want to talk about it but she wanted to know, she was curious about it, she deserved to know she had spent five years longing for him, she had to know where he had been, what he had been up to but she didn't want to push him.
"Just give me the short version." she just wanted to picture him in all the places he had been, all the places he could take her to.
He stared at her and surrendered, not able to resist the look in her eyes that was begging him to tell her. "Spain was to hot, Canada to cold, France had bad food, England bad weather, Belgium to much chocolate, China to much rice, Italy was good but I still like it best here, just in Mystic Falls, it's home."
"Tell me about Italy." he wasn't going to get away with it so easily, she wanted to hear what he had done, what he had seen, she wanted him to take her every place he had visited, had touched, had smelled, had tasted.
"Well, the men really are short over there, I'm glad I'm only half Italian but they were right about the charm, I noticed a lot of my equals. They drive nice fast cars and have the most amazing fashion taste." he sighed and looked at her, seeing she was not pleased " the truth is, I didn't came out of my hotelroom, only to visit the bloodbanks, I locked myself up and drowned myself in self-pity with a lot of bourbon. I missed you, I missed you so much, I tried to shut it off but my body wouldn't let me, it remembered you and only you, when I ran out of scotch in my room I visited bars and girls would hit on me but I was never intrested, they didn't look like you, didn't smell like you and they sure as hell didn't taste like you. I missed you, I missed you as much as you missed me. When Caroline found me I acted like I didn't know her, like I had never heard your name because it hurted so much, she asked me to come back but I knew I would see you with Stefan all happy and in love, I thought you were happy." he stopped talking and she could see the tears in his eyes, the mask he always kept up so carfully had broken, he had broken and she thought she would never live to see this. At the same time she felt her heart break because he had felt the same as she had and she didn't want that for him, it didn't matter if she hurted, if she died slowely and painfully but nobody or nothing was to touch him, to hurt him.
"But you came back even though you thought I was happy."she was crying with him and their tears collided together on his chest, making their way down in the bath.
"I think I just wanted to see you one last time, it took me five days to get here after Caroline had found me. I told her that I only came back to see you just one more time and then she told me the story, what they had told you, what you had believed, that you still loved me, that you never stopped loving me." his voice broke and his eyes and cheeks were full of tears, she kissed them away and pulled his head down to her heart.
She struggled to breath and she felt him gasping for air against her breast but even without oxygen she had to tell him this, she needed to get this out, he needed to know, he deserved to, he was the only one that had ever deserved those words coming out of her mouth.
"I love you, I love you, I love you so much, I don't know how I survived without you." she placed kisses on his forehead and kept muttering I love you's between them.
She felt him opening his mouth, trying to talk but nothing came out, he was sobbing in her arms and she held him tighter, almost suffocating him.
"Shhh, don't talk, it's okay, it's okay baby, I love you."
"Wel don't you look... naked." she heard the voice and turned around in shock.
"Ow Jeremy, you scared me." she let out a giggle and closed the fridge, it was good to see him, with all the drama the past week she hadn't had time for her brother.
He jumped on the counter and she remembered the times when their mom would lecture him for doing that but apperantly it hadn't paid off. "Is this what you do when Stefan is not home, run around naked with the door unlocked?" he smirked at her and she became aware of her appearance, there was a white towel wrapped around her breasts and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and there were slippers on her feet.
"No, I just came out of the shower and I was hungry but there isn't any food in here." she looked frustrated at the fridge, mad at it for being empty.
"Uh Lena, that's why I'm here remember?" he smiled at her and kept swinging his legs up and down.
"You brought me food?" she smiled to, remembering how hungry she was.
"Come on Elena. Don't act stupid, you and Bonnie have been nagging about it for days, I had to come because I am the one that's capable of eating the most food." he waved his hands in the air imitating Bonnie when she tried to persuade someone.
But she didn't know what he was talking about so she just kept staring at him.
"Go on ! Get ready, Bonnie is late but she's going to be here in 15 minutes, you better get dressed so we can leave immediately when she arrives, that caterer isn't going to keep the food warm all day." she sighed, remembering the appointment with the caterer, an appointment that wasn't necessary anymore.
She moved closer to him, holding her hands up in defeat "Jer, there's something I need to tel..." before she could finish her sentence her brother grapped her shoulder and pulled her in front of him "What's that?" he was looking at her neck, pushing his finger on the bite mark, it stinged so she pulled back.
"It nothing, Jer." she rolled her eyes, trying to wave it of.
"That's a bitemark Elena, did you feed Stefan your blood? Or did he force you to?" his look became full of anger and he jumped off the counter, pulling her back again.
"It wasn't like that." she tried to reason with him because he was already making assumptions that weren't right. She needed to tell him about Damon but he wouldn't let her.
"You know what happened last time he drank human blood." she could see his head spinning, already dealing with the situation.
"Good thing he didn't." they both turned around to the voice, Damon was casually leaning against the wall, his chest was bare and he was wearing a black jeans that was hanging dangerously low.
"You." Jeremy spat at him, Elena had a small smile on her face knowing that she wouldn't have to do this alone.
He pushed himself of the wall and came to stand on the other side of the counter "Well yeah. Me." he wiggled his eyebrows and a smirk is on his face.
"What are you doing here?" Jeremy grabbed the wooden spoon on the counter and pointed it in Damon's direction.
"Come on, put that down, I really don't want to be the first vampire in history staked by a spoon." he had his hands up in an apologizing gesture.
"Bonnie told me what you did to her, use her, abuse her." he shook his head in disbelief.
Elena stepped forward and tried to take her brothers arm "Jeremy, he never used me."
Damon sighed "It's sounds like something I would do but no, I didn't."
Jeremy's head snapped up "He compelled you didn't he?"
Elena shook him by his shoulder"No Jeremy, I love him, I've never loved anyone else."
He turned his head towards Damon " You just couldn't help yourself could you? You had to come back and mess up her life all over again, she's good with Stefan, she's happy, why can't you let her be happy?" he spit the words towards Damon.
But Damon didn't get the chance to answer "Because I'm never going to be happy without him, I never was !" she was yelling and stepped away from Jeremy, both men in the room were staring at her.
There was a minute of silence, just two humans breathing and one vampire studying their faces.
Jeremy was the first one to break the silence, he turned his head towards Damon and spoke very softly "I'll kill you."
After those words everything happened so fast, Elena moved towards Damon expecting Jeremy to attack him but he didn't go for Damon, the sharp point of the spoon came her way and Jeremy's face was like the devil ready to plunge it in her chest, she felt herself being moved behind a hard body, her vision was blocked and she heard a scream of torture, no a scream of dead.
She opened her eyes again, the body in front of her hadn't moved, it stood frozen. She peeked around it and saw her brother on the floor, blood around him, covering his clothes, the wooden spoon sticking out of his chest.
She started screaming and ran towards the body on the floor, bending next to it and shaking it, trying to wake it up. But it didn't respond, she didn't know how many seconds, minutes or hours went by before she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her back against his chest.
She turned around and buried her face in his chest "Help him, please help him." she sobbed against his chest and she felt him pulling her closer.
"He's gone Elena, there's nothing I can do." his voice sounded broken, helpless.
She looked up, looking at his face "No, No , No , N..o."
He looked back at her but she couldn't see his expression clear with the tears in her eyes "It was an accident, I tried to take the spoon from him but he moved it and I don't know how but it ended up in his chest. I'm so sorry it's all my fault."
She shook her head, remembering what her brother had once told her "When he found out that you had turned Vickie he came up with al these ideas to kill you, he said that the easiest way to kill you was by shooting a wooden bullet at me, he knew you would jump in front of me."
Damon didn't know what to say, he knew the kid was smart but he hadn't thought about that himself.
They stood there, she sobbing in his chest and he whispering in her hair how sorry he was.
She looked up at him, knowing she had to do this, knowing she had to think fast "Go."
He stared at her, not knowing if he had heard her right "What?" his brows pulled together.
She couldn't do this, but she had to if she wanted to save him "Bonnie is on her way, she'll kill you."
He shook his head, disbelief all over his face " No, it was an accident."
She cupped his face in her hands and held it tight, staring into his eyes like she could see right into his soul " You know she won't see it that way. Damon, you need to go."
He grabbed her arms, holding onto her "No, I'm not leaving you, I'm not breaking my promise."
She smiled at him, grateful that she had been right, that he had meant it when he said he wouldn't leave her "But I'm asking you to, you need to get out of here or she'll kill you."
He shook his head "Only if you're coming with me." she kept staring in his eyes, how much she wanted to go with him, how much she needed to use all her strength to tell him to leave her because she knew how it would hurt.
"I have to stay here, this is my punishment. I got you back, I prayed for you to come back for five years. There aren't many people that come back from the death, but you have. And is time for me to pay the price." she couldn't see his face anymore, the tears were blurring her vision.
She felt the grip on her arms tighten "Why are you doing this?" his voice was a whisper and she almost hadn't heard it with the loud sobs coming from her throat.
"Because I love you, because I've always loved you, because I'll never love someone else, because I'll love you forever and if she kills you, she'll kill me to. I can be happy knowing that you're alive, knowing that I got to spend the last few days with you, I can live forever with those memories, they'll be enough to keep me sane." she stroked his face fiercely, remembering every curve in it, this was the last time she was going to see him, touch him, talk to him and it killed her already, she would marry Stefan to protect him, she would mourn her brother in the wrong arms, she would be aching for the rest of her enternal life and she didn't care, she needed to get him out of here, she needed to get him safe, she needed him to be alive for her to live. "Go." she pulled her hands from his face and pushed his chest towards the door.
"Come with me."it broke her heart, after all those years she wanted to hear those words she had to ignore them to keep him safe.
"She'll find us." her voice was a whisper and she knew there wasn't much time left, he needed to go and she would go back to being the puzzle.
"She'll find me to." he tried to convice her, convince her to come with him and every nerve in her body screamed to run to his car and get in to never come back.
"No, she won't. She'll never know you were here."she sounded sure, and she was because there was already a plan in her head, a plan that would protect him, a plan that would never reveal the truth.
"Elena.." he shook his head defeated but still not moving to get out of here.
"No listen to me, loving you, it was the easiest and hardest thing I've ever done but it made me feel, it made me feel every emotion that a human can experience, it broke me and nearly killed me but I don't regret any second of it. I would give anything to relive those seconds again even if I know how much pain they will cause me afterwards. I lost you and got you back and it's more than I could ever wish for but I can't keep you, that's not in god's plan, this is my repayment to him, this is my punishment for getting all I ever wanted because he gave me you, I lived and loved again for those four days and I'll remember them forever." she pulled his head down and pushed her lips against his, he grabbed her neck and pulled her further in the bruising kiss. She knew that he had accepted it, that this was his goodbye, that this was her death.
She pulled away and kept her eyes closed. "Go."
She felt a breeze and opened her eyes again, she was alone in the room with a dead body a few feet away from her.
She rushed upstairs into Damon's bedroom and threw all his clothes in plastic bags, she removed the covers from the bed and grabbed his tootbrush, gel and every other item she could find that had belonged to him. She ran to the backyard with the bags in her hand, she put them in the barrel behind the house and watched them burn. Nobody would ever be able to track him not even she, not if there wasn't anything left of him.
She heard a car pull up the driveway and went inside, the door rang and she prepared herself to open it. She took a last deep breath and swung it open.
She saw Bonnies smile fade when she saw the blood on the towel that was still wrapped around her body. She rushed inside, freezing when she saw the death body on the floor, the body of her lover, the body of her best friends brother.
She bent next to him and started shaking him, screaming his name, demanding him to wake up.
"Wh... whaa...what.. happened?" her voice broke so many times.
Elena moved towards her slowly "He's dead, he was killed."
The witch's head snapped up, rage in her eyes, preparing herself for a battle.
"Who? Who killed him?" she could hear the bloodlust in Bonnie's voice but it didn't make her back off. She had something way more valuable to protect, her love, her soul, her heart. He had taken them all with him and it made her want to protect it even more.
" I did."