What's a Girl to Do? (Season 4)

by originella

Now that she and Nicholas have proclaimed and acknowledged their feelings for one another, they start their relationship on a high note. However, after a fire brings back someone from their past, they must address how they truly feel about one another, and a shocking secret hits home more than either of them could have ever imagined possible. Will their relationship survive this?

10. Until The Sun Goes Down

Chapter Ten: Until The Sun Goes Down

I know that it would be unwise to show my fear; despite the fact that I'd already bested Josh once, he didn't know it was coming. However, there were no cameras around to stop me, but I knew I had to attempt to play it cool unless he became completely unhinged. Standing there, I knew it was my turn to speak, but I found myself in momentary shock at the notion that Josh was standing less than a foot away from me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Come on, baby," Josh replied, stepping closer to me, and tucking a stray bit of copper hair behind my air. "Don't be that way."

"Don't touch me!" I said, stepping away from him. "And I am not your baby. I never was your baby, and I will never be your baby."

Josh smirked, stepping towards me then and yanking me, hard, by the arm. "You don't get to talk to me that way, Murphy."

Without hesitation, I backhanded him across the face. "Yeah, I do," I said, rolling my eyes as he let me to go clutch at his cheek. "It's you who doesn't get to do what they want. Stop talking to me and touching me, Josh. I'm done."

"Murphy—"

"No," I said, raising my voice. "I told you almost a year ago that we were done, and you seemed to accept that, because you were fucking Chrissy. Now leave me alone!"

Josh reached out then before I could slam the door, grabbing me tightly by my arms and slamming me up against the frame. "You think you're so tough—but you're not!" he said through his teeth, and I got the smell of cheap beer filling my nostrils. "You're nothing without me Murphy, nothing..."

"Get. The fuck. Off of me!" I said, chopping the words up, glaring up at him, as the feeling of pure revulsion flowed through me. "Get your hands off me. Now."

Josh stared down at me then, his eyes unemotional. "I could do it," he said, squeezing my arms tightly. "I could just snap your neck and be done with it..."

"You won't," I said, struggling against him. "Get off me!"

Josh laughed, throwing his head back, the cruelty escaping his lips. "I think I'll take what's rightfully mine first..."

"Nothing I have is yours," I said through my teeth.

"Everything you have belongs to me!" Josh retorted, shoving my inside then, slamming the door behind the two of us. He tossed me to the ground, but before I had the opportunity to react, he was on top of me then, tearing at my clothes, trying to get them off me. "Hold still, Murphy!" he growled at me. "Quit fighting it—"

"No, I won't!" I shouted, the rage filling me completely then as I attempted to kick out at him, knowing full well that if I did go full-throttle, then Liam and Iana could come running to see if I was okay, and I couldn't have that. I needed to keep them safe, which is why, as Josh ripped my blouse apart and started on the zipper of my jeans, that I did what I did. With the last ounce of my strength, I managed to shove him off me as I dove for the living room then, making a grab for the baseball bat, wrapping my fingers around it as I turned around, swinging it, and clocking him right in the head.

Josh's knees buckled then, blood coming out the back of his skull then as he fell to the ground without hesitation. He didn't even take three steps towards me as I grabbed the bat, and I found myself staring down at him then. Dropping the bat, I turned him over, checking for a pulse, and was relieved when he had one.

The back door opened then, slamming behind whoever had come inside then, and I scrambled to my feet. Turning, I stepped back into the living room, seeing Ian as if for the first time, and he gave a shocked expression to how I must have looked. Lowering my eyes, I saw that Josh had truly ripped open my blouse, and its individual buttons littered the floor around us. My breasts were still in my bra, thankfully, but there were scratches—angry, red lines—up and down my stomach, and a couple of them had drawn blood. My head was throbbing a bit from the impact of Josh throwing me to the ground, and, as I held the front of my blouse together, Ian immediately stamped towards me, worry in his eyes.

"What the fuck—?!" he began, cutting himself off just as he saw Josh. "What the fuck is he even doing here?!"

"I have no fucking idea," I said, shaking as I held my blouse together. "I certainly didn't invite him, and I never would."

Ian shook his head. "No, no I know you wouldn't..." He dragged his hand through his head then, catching sight of the baseball bat. "You do that?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I managed to get him off me before he could..." I cleared my throat then, not wanting to get too emotional. "I just grabbed it without thinking..."

"Is he...?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I checked for a pulse. He's just knocked out."

Ian stood there for a moment, looking down at Josh. "What do you want to do?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Do you want to call the police or something?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "No. I just want Josh to get the hell out of my life. Hopefully, he'll get the message this time around..."

Ian nodded. "Okay," he said, taking out his phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "You're not calling the police, are you?!"

"No," Ian replied, crossing over to me and putting a hand on my shoulder as he drew his phone to his ear. "Lip, it's me. Hey, listen, I need you and Fiona to come over to the house. Because I asked you to," he said, a trace of annoyance in his voice. "Look, it's a family emergency, okay? I need you over here. Okay. Fine. Thanks," he said, hanging up.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

Ian sighed. "Lip and I are going to bring Josh back to his place. One of us will drive behind so that we have a way home."

"And Fiona?"

"She'll stay here with you," Ian replied. "Someone needs to distract Liam and Iana while you get cleaned up."

I nodded. "You're right..."

"Hey," Ian said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right?"

I bit my lip, remembering the feeling of Josh's hands grabbing at me, and shuddering at the thought of it. "I will be," I replied, stepping closer and hugging him, and feeling immediate relief when he hugged me back. "I will be...eventually..."

. . .

Nicholas arrived at the appointed hour the following night, and I forced myself to get into something suitable to wear to dinner. Ian and I had agreed that we wouldn't bring up the night before again, and so Nicholas didn't think that there was anything wrong when he picked me up at six o'clock. I sat in the passenger seat as we drove, holding onto my silver clutch encrusted with rhinestones—a Christmas present from Debbie—and made small talk with him.

"Gwen and Grace took Drew to New York for the weekend," Nicholas said as we drove onto the main street, near The Alibi Room.

"Oh. Really?" I asked.

Nicholas nodded. "Yeah. Apparently, they just wanted a little time off. They should be back late tonight, plenty of time for court tomorrow."

Court tomorrow, I thought to myself. A welcome distraction. Although I could really do without the constant sparring from Geoff, the little asshole. "Please tell me that your number is up to question Geoff," I said.

Nicholas chuckled. "Don't worry—I already discussed it with Judge Newton. He thinks that Geoff has behaved abhorrently, but it's unfortunately not enough to recuse himself. However, he thinks it would be more appropriate for me to do the questioning with him."

"Oh, thank god," I replied, leaning back against the seat. "I'd give anything not to be in the same room with him again, but not having to question him? That's a start."

"It'll all be over in May, and then we never have to see that ghoul's face ever again," Nicholas replied in a reassuring manner, patting my leg, and I did my best to remain calm when he did so, and to not think of Josh. "But, this isn't a time to be discussing work."

"No," I agreed, shaking my head. "Even though it's a greeting card holiday, it's nice to have someone to spend it with."

"You're right again," Nicholas said, coming to a step at a traffic light and kissing me. "It's always nice to have an evening with you, Murphy."

I laughed then. "Let's see where you're bringing me to eat, and we'll go from there."

Nicholas laughed, pulling through the intersection as the light changed. "You'll just have to wait and see," he replied.

We soon pulled up to a corner restaurant, painted red brick—which was illuminated by the street lamp—and boasted a black awning with gold letters. Nicholas parked a little ways down the block and got out of his car, shutting his door and immediately circling around it as I opened my door on my own. He held out his hand to me, gently pulling me up and holding me to him for a moment as he shut my door, locking up his car before leading me into the restaurant.

Nicholas gave his name and soon we were whisked to a booth-and-table combination, and Nicholas considerately allowed me the booth side. He requested a coke for him and a cranberry juice for me, and as we sat there, I marveled in the red and gold color combination. Our drinks arrived in a flash as we began looking at our menus, which I lowered after our waiter had left us to debate on what we each wanted for dinner.

"How did you find this place?" I asked.

Nicholas smiled. "I lost a case while shadowing my father when I was still at Northwestern," he replied, looking slightly saddened then. "He let me shadow him, and be his co-counsel, and I thought I had a piece of correct information. Once I gave it to him, he went with it, and that cost us our case."

I lowered my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not," he said, and something in his tone made me look up at him again. "I'm not, because it taught me that not everything in my life could go the way I want it."

I smiled. "That's a good lesson," I replied, "but that still doesn't tell me how you ended up finding this place."

He chuckled. "Well, I got into my car after the case and I was pretty bummed. It was raining that night, and I had to get back to my apartment near campus because I had a pretty important exam the next morning. I just found I was hungry, and I pulled off to the side of the road when I saw the sign of this place. I came inside, had one of the best meals I'd ever had, and I still come here whenever I can."

"Every bring anyone else?" I asked.

"My family—Mom and Dad love it here, and Lucas did, and Charlotte," he said. "But if you're asking if I brought Jasmine here," he said with a smile, "no, I didn't. She didn't like Italian food—too many carbs, she said."

I smiled, raising my glass then. "I guess that makes me lucky," I replied.

Nicholas nodded, and raised his glass. "I guess so," he said. "To luck," he said, and touched his glass to mine.

. . .

The rest of February passed quickly, as did the month of March, and, by April, Nicholas and I were busy scrambling through the many witnesses which were comprised of the company that Geoff and Gwen had founded together. Everyone had something to say; of course, the ones that we got for Gwen's side had been fired, and that was a black mark in their background, but I was relieved when we were able to prove that they were fired because they supported Gwen, and not because they'd done anything wrong in their work. When the time came for Nicholas to question Geoff, I sat on the sidelines with Gwen, and I knew that she and I wouldn't have switched spots with Nicholas for anything.

Nicholas stepped up to the plate, as it were, regarding Geoff with a cold stare. "How would you rate your childhood, Geoff?" he asked.

Geoff straightened up in his chair then. "I thought it was marvelous," Geoff said with a slight toss of his floppy, blond hair. "I had an excellent childhood, and was given anything and everything I needed to succeed."

"You had a private school education, correct?" Nicholas questioned.

Geoff nodded. "I did, yes—Gwen and I both reaped the rewards of having extremely wealthy parents."

"Would you mind sharing with us what those rewards were?"

Geoff smiled. "Of course I wouldn't mind," he replied. "As you previously mentioned, we had a private school education—from preschool until twelfth grade. From there, we got into Northwestern University when we were fourteen-years-old, where we joined the computer science division after they caught wind of our fist app."

"You said 'our first app'," Nicholas put in. "Does that mean that, at some point, you and Gwen worked together?"

"I never disputed that we did not work together," Geoff replied, his voice taking on an air of disdained impatience. "For the first few years, Gwen and I worked together, yes."

Nicholas smiled tightly. "Right, of course," he said. "Tell me—what other things did you manage to get out of an affluent lifestyle, Geoff?"

"Gwen and I both got cars when we were sixteen, and, before that, the family chauffer would drive us around," he replied, waving it away as if it wasn't a big deal. "We each had our own wing in the family home from the age of one onwards, when we were moved out of the nursery on schedule..."

"Did you have any hobbies growing up, Geoff? Other than the apps and the computer science and programming?" Nicholas wanted to know.

"No, we didn't have time for it," Geoff replied impatiently.

Nicholas sighed, realizing that he wasn't getting anywhere and turned to look at me, and I nodded at him, knowing that it was time to bring out the big guns. "Your Honor, I'd like to introduce into evidence item number 10A," he said, picking up the note which had been sealed in a plastic bag, "and item number 10B," he said, producing a handwriting sample analysis we'd had performed on Geoff and bringing them up to the judge's table, leaving Geoff's attorneys to scramble for their own copies of everything.

"Go ahead, Mr. Blomqvist," Judge Newton said with a wave of his hand.

"Geoff, can you tell me what this says?" he asks, providing the handwriting sample.

Geoff sighed, leaning forward. "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," he replied, his impatience not leaving him.

"Very good," he said, and pushed the note forward that Gwen had kept safe. "And what does this say, Geoff?"

Geoff visibly paled as he looked at the note before pulling back. "I..." He said, looking around the courtroom in a panic. "...I plead the Fifth Amendment."

"Your Honor!" Nicholas said, turning to the judge.

Judge Newton looked exasperated. "The witness will answer," he replied.

"Objection!" said one of Geoff's attorney's.

"Overruled," the judge said, growing greatly annoyed. "I've already stipulated that Mr. Eastman will answer and he will," he said, turning to Geoff. "Answer the question."

Geoff sighed, looking down at the note again. "I can't read it," he said.

Nicholas chuckled. "Funny," he said, "because we had both writing samples looked at by a top handwriting expert. And do you know what they found?"

Geoff shook his head. "No."

"They found that both of these samples were written by the same person," Nicholas said rather triumphantly, crossing his arms. "So, I'll ask you again, Geoff. Please read the second writing sample we have provided for you."

Geoff sighed. "I can't," he repeated.

"Geoff, we have witnesses attesting that you wrote the first writing sample I showed you, which means, by process of elimination, you wrote the second one you refuse to read," Nicholas said, throwing up his hands in annoyance. "Do you really expect me to believe that you can read one writing sample you wrote, and not another?"

Geoff glared at Nicholas, dragging the note forward and staring down at it for a moment before he compelled himself to read. "You and that so-called doctor of yours can just keep your nose out of the Eastman family and all the money I singlehandedly made from my products. Mom and Dad say you can only come home when you start to abide by a more conventional lifestyle," he said, not making eye contact with anyone as he shoved the note back towards Nicholas.

"What did you mean by this note, Geoff?" Nicholas asked, taking back the pieces of evidence as Geoff's eyes snapped to his.

"You want to know?"

Nicholas nodded. "That's why I'm asking, yes."

"All right, I'll tell you," Geoff said, obviously holding back a lot of anger. "My parents and I couldn't accept Gwen's lifestyle."

"By 'lifestyle', do you mean her marriage to Dr. Grace Bonner and the birth of their son, Andrew Bonner-Eastman?" he asked.

Geoff glared at Nicholas. "Yes, that's exactly what I mean. We refuse to accept it, because that's unnatural and disgusting."

"Your Honor!" Nicholas shouted. "Move to strike!"

"Your Honor!" yelled out one of Geoff's attorneys. "My client is certainly entitled to his own opinion on the matter—"

"While he is entitled to his own opinion, I will not have your client insulting anyone in my courtroom who clearly doesn't deserve it," Judge Newton ruled. "The jury will disregard the last statement of Geoffrey Eastman."

"Thank you, Your Honor," Nicholas said. "I have no more questions for this witness today, Your Honor, but would like to continue on Monday."

"Very well, Mr. Blomqvist," Judge Newton replied, checking his watch. "It's close to five, so we will reconvene on Monday at nine o'clock. We're adjourned," he said, slamming the gavel down onto his desk and getting to his feet, as there was a great amount of shuffling as everyone got to their feet out of respect.

"Thank you, Nicholas," Gwen said, and seemed pleased when he hugged her. "You did so well with him—I don't know how you do it. Any of you," she said, turning around and hugging me as well. "Well, I should go and see if my wife and son are all right..."

"Go," I said, squeezing her arm. "We'll see you Monday morning."

Gwen smiled. "Thank you," she replied, motioning to the person she'd hired to protect her to walk her out.

"Glad she can afford that," Nicholas muttered from the side of his mouth.

"Damn right," I replied, looking over and seeing Geoff having an expression which resembled torment as his attorneys attempted to reassure him. "Let's go. We'll be caught in traffic all night if we don't hurry."

"Sounds like a plan," Nicholas replied, moving to follow me.

Nicholas and I gathered our things quickly and exited the courtroom, making our way towards the main entrance. I didn't see any reporters there that day as we stepped out into the sunshine and down the steps, going carefully so as we didn't mow any latecomers down. We reached the bottom quickly, and moved to where we'd parked—as I'd carpooled with Nicholas that morning—but a voice from behind us caught us off-guard.

"Hey, Blomqvist!"

I turned around with Nicholas at the sound, seeing Geoff walking down the stairs, directly towards us, and raised my eyebrows when Nicholas moved automatically between us. I looked up at him for a moment, and noticed that his dark eyes were filled with malice as Geoff came closer, and I gripped onto my briefcase me tightly. My heart was pounding in my ears then, finding that I no longer knew what to expect when it came to this courthouse.

"What do you want, Geoff?" Nicholas asked.

Geoff laughed then—a psychotic laugh, one that came from someone who would benefit from being committed. "You're asking me that now?"

"I work for Gwen, Geoff," Nicholas replied, "we both do. We're not here to give or get you what you want. That's your own attorney's job."

"Jesus Christ," Geoff whispered.

"Let's go, Nicholas," I said, putting my hand on his arm.

"Oh, sweetheart, you don't have to go with him," Geoff said, attempting to sidestep Nicholas with a grin on his face. "Why don't you come with me?"

I evaded his grasping arm. "I don't think so."

Geoff laughed, probably unused to being told no in his entire life. "Come on, sweetheart. You can come home with me. We'll have a great time."

I shook my head. "Not interested. Not in a million years."

"Aw, come on, baby girl," he said, pouting at me. "You don't turn down Geoff Eastman—it's just not something you do."

"I just did—this makes three times," I said, crossing my arms. "Apparently, you don't take no for an answer, but that's not my problem."

"Leave her alone," Nicholas said. "Let's go, Murphy," he said, putting an arm around me and moving to lead me away from him.

"You're not going anywhere!" Geoff said.

"Believe me, buddy, we are," Nicholas replied, turning to look at him. "I know this is a weird thing to wrap your head around, but Murphy isn't interested."

Geoff shook his head in disbelief at the sudden turn of events. "Maybe you should spread your legs for someone else, Murphy," he said, before swinging his fist back and slamming it into Nicholas's face.

"Fuck," Nicholas groaned, doubling over and cradling his face.

"Come on," Geoff said, reaching out to me. "Let's go."

I smiled at Geoff then, stepping forward. "You're a real strong man," I said, lying through my teeth, but wanting him to let his guard down.

"Well, yeah," Geoff said.

"Shut your eyes for a surprise!" I said, jumping up and down and clapping my hands like some kid at Vegas who's won the jackpot.

Geoff acquiesced—what an asshole. "Ready!" he said.

Without hesitation, I slammed my forehead into his nose before turning around and flipping my hair over my shoulder. "And that's the Gallagher way," I muttered, looking down at Nicholas then and helping him up and hurrying with him down the block. "Give me your keys," I said, getting a good look at his face. "No way are you driving with a shiner."

"I'm fine, Murph—"

"No, you're not!" I said back, shaking my head at him as I dug around his pockets. "You're riding shotgun, mister—I'm putting my foot down."

Nicholas grumbled when we arrived at his car, and I helped him into it, before circling around it and getting into the driver's side. Pulling out of the space, I drove as quickly as I could to his condo, parking out in front. I then helped him from the car, feeling guilty as I watched him clutching his face. I unlocked the condo door and let us inside, placing our briefcases by the door before locking it and guiding him towards the kitchen.

"Sit down," I said, putting him into a chair and walking over towards the freezer, pulling out a handful of ice and hissing through my teeth at how cold it was. I grabbed a baggy from the drawer and shoved the ice inside, grabbing a dishtowel from the oven door handle and wrapping up the baggy. "Here," I said, kneeling in front of Nicholas. "Move your hand, okay?" I said my tone gentle.

Nicholas sighed. "If you say so," he said, moving his hand.

"That's going to turn purple soon," I said, lifting up my hand and gently placing the dishtowel wrapped in ice on its surface. "Come on," I said as Nicholas reacted to it. "I know it hurts, but you don't want to walk around with it. And, plus side, he got your eye, and it doesn't look like it's going to fall out..."

"Why is that a plus?"

I giggled then. "Because, for one thing, he didn't break your nose, or any bones," I reply. "And, on the flip side, we don't have to see a doctor."

"Really?"

"Really," I replied. "This ice will help with the swelling, and it should clear up in a week or two, if that. Black eyes don't require medical attention. You're fine," I assured him.

Josh hesitated for a moment, staring at me with his uninjured eye as he took me in then, and with all the concern I held for him in my heart, a new expression overtook him then. "Am I?" he asked me then, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Are you...? What?" I asked.

"Fine," he replied. "Am I fine?"

I smiled up at him. "I said you're fine, as in, you're going to be fine."

"But I'm fine—generally?" he wanted to know.

I rolled my eyes. "Compliment fisher," I said, gently easing back the ice pack. "Oh, the swelling is responding to the ice," I said, returning it to the surface that needed it most. "Nicholas, I think you know as well as I do that you're more than fine."

Nicholas smirked. "More than fine?"

I returned his smirk. "Well, of course," I replied. "I jilted a doctor for you, Nicholas. That's no small feat, especially because I knew about your past. Remember that."

Nicholas laughed aloud then. "If I remember the circumstances correctly, Murphy, you jilted that doctor because he was cheating on you with another doctor, and he thought your relationship with Lip was disgusting. Oh, and the bastard called you a slut..."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, those were a handful of reasons..."

"The main reason being that you felt nothing for him," he replied, looking very proud of himself that he'd been the one to say it. "You didn't have feelings for Josh."

I shook my head. "No. Those were the pregnancy hormones talking, unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?" Nicholas asked. "Now you sound like you want it to work out with him. You think you made the wrong decision?"

"No," I said quickly then, too quickly, causing Nicholas to grow suspicious. "No, I mean, that night I ended things with him..." I shuddered. "I guess he displayed his true colors that night and, I don't know, I realized I wanted something else..."

Nicholas smirked again. "Something else, huh?"

I lowered my eyes. "No... Well, someone else," I said quietly.

He reached out then, tilting my chin up. "I'm glad you did—realize that, I mean," he said, his voice quiet, the smarmy attitude gone. "I think something shifted in me that night—as it had been doing since the day I met you. The notion of you actually marrying Josh drove me crazy, and when I saw you with that ring on your finger..."

I shook my head. "I couldn't have married him," I replied. "Nobody has made me feel the way that you make me feel, Nicholas. On every level, not just when we're fucking. It's out of this world, to say the least, and I guess I needed some of that in my life..."

"Some of what?"

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. "Some wild and crazy shit," I replied. "I didn't get a good judge of sex until you and I started having it. I couldn't explain it before, but I guess I have certain tastes in that area of my life, and you're the only one capable of satisfying me completely. I don't know why that is, but I guess that's something we have to figure out together..."

Nicholas grinned. "I guess I could say it's the same for me," he replied. "Of course, when I met you, I never thought that I'd be bending you backwards or forwards on many surfaces of the firms offices, but I'm glad you took control that day, because I was at the point where I couldn't restrain myself anymore."

I raised my eyebrows. "What?"

Nicholas sighed. "I wanted you immediately—well, almost immediately," he replied. "When I saw your work, I thought you were beautiful and brilliant, but I just didn't know how I could get you, and, by keeping you at arms' length, you thought I hated you. I was jealous of you, for sure, but I never hated you. I couldn't hate you."

"Then don't," I replied. "Don't hate me, Nicholas."

Nicholas hesitated for a moment before getting to his feet, yanking me up after him and began to paw at me then. It was far different than when Josh had done it—this, right here, was all I wanted, and would ever want. As he got my undressed, his hands shaking, I moved to do the same to him and we were throwing off the clothes around that kitchen, and as he slammed me up against the far wall, I found a gasp escaping my lungs then. He looked as if he'd broken me for a moment, but I dragged his mouth to mine, our hands working double time to get ourselves undressed as much as necessary to get what we wanted. And what we wanted was so simple, there was no cause to doubt it, and when it happened, it always seemed to be beautiful, in its own way, and in its own way, only Nicholas and I could understand it.

"What do you want?" he whispered, putting himself inside me, and my eyes automatically rolled back in my head at the feelings he evoked from me.

"More," I whispered, dragging him deeper inside me. "Oh, fuck..." I whispered, gripping onto his shoulders tightly. "Harder...deeper..."

"Anything else?" he asked.

I managed to open my eyes then, and saw that his quickly locked to mine, causing my heart rate to double instantly. "You," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I want you."

"You've already got me, Murphy," he said, slamming into me over and over again.

"And... And you have me, Nicholas," I replied, and, as his eyes locked to mine again, I wondered just how much longer I'd be able to deny it—all of it, from my feelings, to the fact that I knew he was keeping something from me. "You've got me, Nicholas..." I whispered, shutting my eyes then on another wave of pleasure, one that only he could give me.