I was asked for a sequel to 'Used To Be' where Deeks starts his trek to becoming a lawyer once more. I hope you guys like the new story!

Warning: None

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Deeks let out a soft snort of displeasure as the sun streaming through the open curtains woke him up. Feeling the headache brewing in his head he cursed himself for forgetting to close them before he fell into bed like he normally did.

Except he realized that he hadn't fallen asleep in bed the night before. No, he had fallen asleep on top of Callen on the living room couch. At least that's what he thought happened. All he knew was that he didn't remember climbing the stairs and getting into bed.

As soon as he thought that a part of him wanted to scramble out of the sheets and go in search of his husband. He needed to know that what had happened hadn't just been a dream. He couldn't let it just be a dream.

He didn't move though. As much as he wanted to the fear of what he would find if he opened his eyes made him stay still. For the moment he needed to be able to think that everything was fine. Just one little moment.

Laying there he let his mind go wherever to pleased. Even after all the years of being in complete silence it was odd, but it did come in handy some times. Mostly when his brain was peacefully blank. Something that rarely happened.

At the moment though that was exactly what it was. Well, mostly. There were little thoughts popping up every once in awhile that he had to ignore. He was good at ignoring the thoughts that threatened to choke the life out of him.

Or he used to be good at it. The longer he laid there though the more he found his mind filling with questions and concerns and even a few accusations. He couldn't focus on any of them long enough to really think about them.

It was more as if they were smoke that was clouding everything else that was going on in his brain. It wasn't a pleasant feeling especially with the headache that was getting stronger, but it was one that he couldn't fight either.

For a moment he laid there letting the thoughts take control. With everything that was going on he doubted it was a good idea, but he didn't want to fight at the moment. No, as much as he hated it, he wanted to shatter.

He had been so lost in his own mind that he hadn't noticed that he wasn't alone. At least not until he felt something moving against his side. Sleepy blue eyes blinked open and looked down towards the movement. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Isabelle laying next to him.

Instantly he thought that he was still asleep. Isabelle didn't consider him to be a part of her family anymore. There was no way that she would be sleeping against him like she had done in the past.

Still he lifted a shaking hand and reached down to brush the strawberry blonde hair out of her face. He had to clench his jaw shut to stop the breathy laugh from escaping his lips when he felt the soft locks.

She looked so peaceful in her sleep. As if there was nothing wrong in the world. As if everything that had been happening was just a fever dream that all of them could walk away from without even remembering.

A part of him knew that that was nothing more than a pipe dream. What had happened did in fact happen. There was nothing that was going to change the words that came out of her mouth or how broken he had felt when he heard them.

There was a little voice in the back of his head that didn't want that to change. As much as it hurt him he wondered if she was right. If he had gotten so lost in pretending that he was fine that he had failed his children somehow.

It was his job as a parent to give his kids a better life than either he. To give them a better life than Callen had. It wasn't all that difficult of a thing to do, but that didn't change that it was their responsibility to do that.

That didn't mean that they had a nice perfect life. No one ever got one of those. No, he had to give them a better one. It would still have pain and sorrow in it, but she would end up being so much better than he ever could be.

He didn't want her to have to go through anything bad. He never wanted anything bad to ever happen to her. She was his baby girl. Nothing was ever going to stop him from wanting to keep her safe from everything that came her way.

He just wanted her to be the best version of herself and he wasn't sure that he was helping her do that. Nothing about him screamed a stable, happy adult. At least it didn't to any adult that knew him well.

A sigh fell from his lips as he looked down at the girl. He loved her with everything he was. He wanted the world to be a better place for her and for her to be a better person for the world. Nothing was ever going to change that.

It was the same with Wesley. It was an unconditional love that made him want to bend the world to keep them safe while at the same time wanting to show them both every thing so they understood what it really meant to be human.

He had thought that he understood what love was when he fell for Callen. It had brought him such a level of warmth and happiness in his life. It was like nothing he had ever been able to dream of before. And he used to dream of it often.

Being around the man gave him such a sense of safety that he had been more than a little afraid in the beginning. He knew better than to put that kind of power over himself in another person's hands. They could easily bring him down.

Callen had understood that though. He knew the fear that came with giving ones heart away. So while he did hold Deeks heart in his hand Deeks held the older man's heart as well. If one went down the other followed.

Before he could think any more on the subject he felt a finger poke at his chest. Looking down he saw a pair of azure eyes staring up at him. They were filled with such sadness and barely masked fear. Beyond that though there was hope and he couldn't help but hold onto that.

"I love you, Daddy," Isabelle mouthed slowly a shy smile blooming on her lips.

"I love you too, Isabelle," he replied out loud tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, "I love you so much."

It was like a dam had exploded when he said that. She threw her arms around his shoulders burying her face in his chest. He didn't think as he wrapped am arm around her and held her close ignoring the way his shirt was getting wet.

Before he was ready for it she was pulling away and sitting up so she could look into his eyes. Following his daughter's lead he sat up so they were face to face both waiting for the other person to start.

"I'm sorry for what I said, Daddy," Isabelle signed after a moment looking more than a little guilty, "I didn't mean it. Really I didn't. I love you so much and you're the best Daddy I could ever ask for."

"Why did you say it then?" he questioned not completely sure he wanted to know what had been going through her mind.

"These kids at school keep making fun of me. Calling me names and pushing me into lockers. They were being really mean to me and I got mad. I should have said something to you or to Papa, but every time I thought about doing that their words got louder in my head and I just… I just got angry at you and at them and at myself. You were trying to help and took it out on you. I'm sorry, Daddy."

Watching the way the little girl shrunk into herself he couldn't help but reach out and brush her hair out of her face. He wanted to pull her close to him and never let go, but they weren't even close to finishing their conversation and he knew it he did that they never would.

"Oh, kiddo," he sighed shaking his head, "I'm sorry that they're picking on you because of me."

"It's not your fault," she replied instantly staring in his eyes, "I should have said something. You were just being a good Dad and I was just mean. Like them."

"It's not your fault either. You know that, right, Isabelle?"

"If I had just talked to you none of this would have happened. I became just like them because I wanted to hurt you. I said the one thing I knew would hurt you the most because I wanted to hurt you."

Seeing the tears glistening in her eyes Deeks cupped the side of her face and forced her to look into his eyes. He never wished that he could hear more than when he was trying to have a conversation with his kids. He really wanted to be able to hear his kid's voices.

"Listen to me, Isabelle Marie Callen," Deeks spoke out loud hoping his voice was steady and strong, "You aren't like them. They wouldn't realize what they did was wrong. They wouldn't feel as guilty as you do right now. Yes, what you said was wrong and it hurt, but you sitting here right now proves that you're not them."

"I want to hurt them though," she responded instantly, "I want to make them feel as bad as they made me feel."

"I know you do. I get that, but you can't listen to what other people say about you or about us. You can't let them rule you like that."

"But they said that you're going to Hell!"

"So?"

"So? Did you get what I just said? What they said?"

"I did. I understood perfectly. Do you know what else I understand?"

"What?"

"That no matter what they say they don't decide what happens to us after we die. Maybe being with your Papa is going to sent me to Hell. Maybe it won't. Maybe there's no Heaven or Hell. No one knows for sure. Whether there is or there isn't though other people don't decide what happens to us. We do."

"We do?"

"Yes, we do. Our actions towards others reflect on us. Not on them. We can't decide anything for anyone else. All we can do is live a life that we can be proud of when we're gray and old. Live a life that we can tell stories about to our kids and grandkids. Thinking about what other people say about us only drives us to be just like them. To make stupid mistakes that hurt the ones that we love."

Isabelle sat there for a moment before sighing and staring at the blanket. Deeks wanted to continue and try to get her to see what he was saying, but he knew that that wasn't something he could do. It was a lesson that she might be hearing now, but would take years before she fully understood.

"I really messed up, didn't I?" Isabelle signed finally looking back up at him.

"Yeah, Izzy, you did," he responded not feeling the need to lie to her, "But that's one of the good things about people that love you. They forgive you if they knew that you really mean what you're saying. If you've really learned your lesson. Mistakes happen and you're going to make a lot of them. It's part of being alive."

"I'm getting that. I don't like it."

"None of us do."

"Do you really forgive me, Daddy? You're not mad anymore?"

"Well, I'm not happy about it and I need you to promise me that you'll come to me if something like this happens again. That you'll talk to me or Papa or Auntie Nell or someone before it gets to this point again."

"I promise."

"Okay. And you need to apologize to your little brother. You weren't exactly nice to him as well."

"Done. I really am sorry, Daddy. I should have talked to you. I was just so angry and I wanted to be angry."

"I get that. I really do. We all do and say horrible things when we're angry. You get that from both me and your Papa."

"I do? I mean I get Papa, he can get scary when he's angry, but you? I don't see that."

"Oh, you'd be surprised. I do my best not to get angry. It's not an emotion that I like. I think you see why."

"Oh yeah."

"But I know that it's a useful emotion nonetheless. Without anger I might not have been able to do some of the things I've done. You just need to learn how to control and live with it better. You're young. You'll get there."

"You'll show me?"

"Of course. You're not getting rid of me that easily. Now. What do you say we go downstairs and see what mess your Papa made?"

"He does make a lot of messes."

"That he does. If his pancakes weren't so good I would kick him out of my kitchen."

"Hey, Daddy?"

"Yes, Isabelle?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. No matter what."

"No matter what."