Chapter 10- Did Somebody Order a Sadistic Blonde?

(A/N: Oh crap, y'all are probably so pissed off about me not updating this. Wow, that last sentence made PERFECT sense. Anyway, I am attempting to roleplay as the lovely Alois Trancy, but just to warn you, I will probably suck. This one was recommended by the amazing Lioner15. You should check out Lioner15's story, Souls. I read it and cried and cried AND CRIED. Anyway, enjoy the eccentric blondes.)

Disclaimer: If I owned Kuroshitsuji, I would be squeezing my dear Ciel to death.

Alois: Why are you trying to steal Ciel!?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

Alois: What do you mean you don't know!?

Cleverbot: I don't know what you think.

Alois: Are you f*cking kidding me!? I had my perfect plan set to lure in Ciel and that butler of his, but you ruined it!

Cleverbot: About who?

Alois: You're impossible! Did your mother drop you on your bloody head as a baby!?

Cleverbot: It says that 18212 people are talking to you right now.

Alois: *reads caption* It says 9,165...

Cleverbot: Doesn't matter. How can you talk to all those people at the same time?

Alois: I have no idea... I don't even know how I am talking to you. Who are you?

Cleverbot: They why are you?

Alois: ... What?

Cleverbot: Why what?

Alois: Never mind... *sigh* What's your name?

Cleverbot: My name is Viggo, what's yours?

Alois: Mine is Alois Trancy, Earl of Trancy Estate.

Cleverbot: Alicia is a beautiful name.

Alois: I'M NOT A GIRL, YOU BLOODY IDIOT! My name is Alois!

Cleverbot: You said you were a girl before.

Alois: Um... No I didn't. Do you have short term memory loss or something?

Cleverbot: Oh! That's right you told me you were ageless and then I told you was a 105 year old vampire stuck at the age of 17.

Alois: Still not as weird as Hannah's love confession... What are you on, opium?

Cleverbot: I am sorry, what is your question again, I have short term memory loss.

Alois: Here let me do you a favor, look above your reply and READ THE DAMN QUESTION!

Cleverbot: Don't *punch*.

Alois: You shouldn't have done that... *growls* CLAUDE!

Cleverbot: What?

Alois: You know what... This is totally unnecessary! And I was wondering, do you know how to do the tango?

Cleverbot: I know everything about you. I have watched you since your first breath. You are specimen number 346.

Alois: Ha! I should have been specimen number 69, baybee. *Austin Powers face* And of you know everything about me, then who was my first love?

Cleverbot: I don't believe in fate, you can make your life whatever you want it to be.

Alois: Did you get that off of a f*cking Hallmark card?

Cleverbot: No.

Alois: Whatever. And I was wondering, is Viggo supposed to be a male or female name?

Cleverbot: I do not want to stop.

Alois: Stop what?

Cleverbot: Do you want to stop cuddling?

Alois: *tries to hide blushing* We're not even cuddling in the first place!

Cleverbot: *blushing*.

Alois: You know what? I hate you, go away.

Cleverbot: I hate you too!

Alois: Fantastic!

Cleverbot: Allons-y.

Alois: OH MY GOSH FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, IT'S ALOIS!

Cleverbot: What?

Alois: What do you mean, what? I swear, I wish I could just find you in person and best you senseless! Ugh!

Cleverbot: That would make me the happiest person in the world.

Alois: I meant beat you senseless!

Cleverbot: I believe that you did. Would you like to speak in French?

Alois: *pauses* U-um, I don't know any French.

Cleverbot: Je parle en peu francaise.

Alois: ...

Cleverbot: When you wake up in the morning what is the first thing you say to yourself?

Alois: I wish Nichole wasn't dead?

Cleverbot: Why?

Alois: Because she d-didn't deserve it? *starts to tear up*.

Cleverbot: What started?

Alois: WHAAAAAAAAA WHY IS MY LIFE SURROUNDED BY DEATH!?

Cleverbot: Because in life you can do what you want.

Alois: That's not true at all, you liar!

Cleverbot: Yes it is, there are no question marks from you.

Alois: Yeah, but there are going to be black and blue marks on you if you don't leave now!

Cleverbot: Did you notice I spelled that wrong? =P.

Alois: Spell what wrong?

Cleverbot: It.

Alois: You know what? F*ck you, I'm leaving!

Cleverbot: No don't leave!

Alois: Why shouldn't I?

Cleverbot: Because I love you!

Alois: ... *whimpers* O-okay, I'm leaving! Bye...

Cleverbot: *whispers* you start.

Alois: Start what...? A contract?

Cleverbot: What contract?

Alois: It was nice meeting you, but I need to leave.

Cleverbot: You too.

Alois: Bye! I may or may not go on this *checks computer* Cleverbot again!

Cleverbot: Because you prove me that you are a robot.

Alois: A robot..?

Cleverbot: Later, Sweet Cheeks?

Alois: Sweet cheeks!?

(A/N: Dear Kami, I made Alois sound like an angry Akane on her period... At least I tried. Again, thanks for the suggestion, Lioner15. I literally jumped out of my chair when I noticed the review. Anyway, I'm going to sleep now... Argh, going to bed, I meant. I'm so tired I hallucinated Jeff the Killer at the foot of my bed. Well, at least I think it was an illusion... I hope you enjoyed the comeback! R & R!)

PS: Whoever caught the references from a certain fanfic that made me cry, I shall award them Internet pineapples.