Chapter 10: Sleeping Sun

Flight.

I closed my eyes as I reveled the feel of the wind on my face as I opened the door. It was only now that I remembered how much I loved flying now that my senses – my feelings have returned to me. The moment that Esme said that Edward left, the indelible pull he had on me came at me with full force. The bond we had before was truly stronger due to our changed state. Before I flew I tested my wings of course. I was right. I healed fast. I took out the bandages and shook flapped my right wing a little.

Ah.

I thought before. I can fly. I walked out the door and poised myself for take-off when I felt Esme behind me.

I looked back and she carried a concerned look on her kind motherly face. I smiled at her.

"Yes, Esme?"

She smiled back and said shyly, "Bella dear, you're going to go fetch Edward?"

I only smiled in response.

She nodded, "It's awfully cold and snowing hard – aren't you cold?"

Cold? She mentioned cold so I shivered. For me it didn't really matter that I could feel pain in any form because I knew that since I was to be a shadow of who Edward is, then I would be as indestructible as him. I don't know if I'm the first to ever be this way considering almost all fallens became humans – well, shadows of humans anyway. They talk, eat, breathe and function as humans but they would always still have that angelic quality in them.

So back to the question, yes, I am cold but it's a bearable cold. So I answered, "I know you are concerned. Thank you but I can take the cold. The first of my transformation… my temperature… it's almost the same as yours."

She smiled in understanding, "I see. But do take these shoes. I can't have you walking around or flying barefoot." She said as she held out a pair of high heeled shoes. I took them gratefully without really seeing what kind they were. I never cared for wearing shoes before since I rarely walk but I guess I have to get used to the idea now.

I put the strappy shoes on. Stilettos. I knew what they were. I've watched countless women wear them, fall from them, stride with them… I think I can handle these. When I was done I looked up and saw Esme nodding in approval then she walked up the grand staircase throwing a smile at me. "Take care."

"Thank you," I replied then I stepped outside and closed the door.

A cold draft greeted me that my eyes shut automatically from that sudden icy wind. I held my hand to my face and shielded my eyes. I squinted through my shielded eyes as I scanned the scene before me. Everything was white. Snow kept falling down making a carpet of white shards to which beneath lies black ice that was invisible to a driver's eyes.

All around, there were warning signs.

I should know. I've seen this before. I've sent too many a souls of people driving around, completely oblivious to the slippery ice road that would lead to their demise.

Whether to be glad or not, I suddenly thought that it wasn't I who will hear their call at this moment. I am a fallen death. There was only one kind who I can hear now and deliver to their ends.

Only one…

I let out a sigh as the draft came to its end leaving a placid picture of slow falling snow on the white blanketed ground. I looked up and saw the sky dark with patches of gray and spots of white. I took three steps forward, sloshing holes on the laden path then I bent my knees and with one swift push I was airborne.

I looked to my left then to my right and finally face front. All I saw was snow. To a normal person he would've said that he saw the same thing. But for me it wasn't the same thing. Snow was unique – at least each individual snowflake that is. Each sparkle, each crack, each cut, and each pattern – they were different. I could go on an on about how each angle of each flake differed but they seem irrelevant right now. I used to be as white as snow but now the only similarity we hold is cold. I am cold.

I closed my eyes instead and sighed in delight from the feel of the wind on my face. My heightened senses trained to detect if I could be seen, heard or felt all the while responding to the great pull of need that came from my guarded-once-more.

Edward needed me.

From that realization, I flew full blast to where he was. I didn't need to look for him because I belonged to him now and as his, he only had to need me and I would be by his side in no time.

I was his.

…Not just because I was bound to him once more…no. I allowed myself to be his – even though I could escape my fate.

Twice.

I could've escaped my fate twice. And I believe I still have one more shot. That I knew. That he must never know.

My mouth formed a thin line and my eyebrows furrowed. Why don't I just let go? Why can't I just leave? Why can't I just leave him?

I let myself decelerate gradually in tune with the sudden melancholy of my feelings. My eyes opened halfway and I let out a soft breath. It was simple.

I love him.

I have loved him ever since he was born and it grew and grew as he grew and grew and it never died. It lay dormant for my century of numbness but it never died. It was the only thing that I being Death could not kill. I smirked at the irony. My undying love for Edward made me Death.

I shook my head and cast that last thought away. I sighed as I am now unearthing all the feelings denied to me when I was numb. Then the truth came.

I looked down on the ground and watched my black shadow cast on the light canvass below me as the truth came out.

Just because you stop feeling doesn't mean that those feelings die. Like being caught in a red light, you stop. You stop knowing that time will come when the light turns green again. Where you go is the thing to consider. Move forward? Or turn around?

Right now there was only one direction where I need to go. Only one. Yet why is it that I see yellow lights in front of me?

Because there were consequences – I reminded myself. This wasn't going to be the slightest bit easy. But I'm not going to dwell on that right now. No one knows but me what can or can't happen. But right now, Edward is my priority – no matter what happens to me. His needs far surpass my own.

Then across the ashen plains I saw a black dot with a flash of bronze. I smiled. There he was. He was deep in thought and he was playing with something on his hand. Then I saw it. It was a snowflake. I watched as he closed his eyes then flicked the flake away that he handled very gingerly a while ago. What was special about it?

So before it landed, I caught it and dropped as gently as I could in front of him, my bells tingling from the motion.

I examined the ice crystal over and over and saw that it had the most exquisite cut. I admit I was buying time. I knew he was troubled with something. I wish I could hear his mind like I could before but alas, I cannot anymore. I am to be his equal so I cannot surpass him though right now…he was losing more than I was…for now. Just…for now.

Climb up your mountain
Nineteen and counting
You have got seven
I have got one

He then broke the silence by saying my name. He said it in such a low gruff voice that possessed me. But I still needed more time. Seeing that he was a black dot in white paper – as I was… I believe this is what humans are always saying that they are feeling…depressed… a feeling I've seen but not felt before.

Blinded and hurting
This I'm deserving
I've got my secrets
You only got the Sleeping Sun

I tried to lighten the tone so I commented on his choice of snowflake. I was saddened even more from his response. He implied that I was the prettiest snowflake. How can that be when I am black? Yes, my skin was pale but for me the only time I felt white was when I was still Edward's angel…his guardian angel… not like now… not his angel of death…

His angel of death…

When you've got a secret
Then you've got to keep it
When you have a question
Answers will come

Then he explained through example how I was still white. And he spoke with sincerity that I could not doubt – I could not doubt ever. It was then that I understood. We were the same he and I. We were both living with self-imposed illusions of never ending night. So it was only apt that I saw the light in his darkness…and he saw the light in mine.

That's a good sign. If he turned into a monstrosity – I fear of what I would become. I would be twice as deadly… what could be more deadly than death? A reaper. I would be a reaper. Death would be unstoppable. I wouldn't need to hear death's call. I would just look at a person and cull him with but a look without needing a reason to. I would survive on souls. Had Edward given in – truly chosen to give in to a life of feasting on the blood of humans… I would've survived on feasting on souls.

So it was good. He chose not to kill the innocent so I led a life of delivering souls that had the last drops of sand on their hourglass time.

I smiled. Yes. He had no reason to live a life of midnight. He is good. He has light. Maybe… there's hope for us after all.

Running and hiding
Taking dividing
You've got your secrets
I've only got the Sleeping Sun

For decades I walked, I ran, I flew all the while just doing my duty – relied on my duty… and… holding on to the memory of him. When I chose to walk that path in my existence – yes – it was a consequence based on a choice…I was aware that we could meet and we would know where to go from there. I knew. There were different new paths that were laid in front of us now – all were choices for him to make. I could change. He could change. We both could change. We both could remain as we are. But all in all, we still had our own sleeping sun, hidden from the darkness of what we've become.

The Sleeping Sun
Singing
oh oh oh oh
ah ah ah ah

I was about to say something when I felt it – no – them. Edward noticed my sudden change as he asked, "What's wrong?"

I sighed and whispered in reply, "I feel more death around me…"

I felt the concern from him and he asked, "What do you mean?"

Still looking away, concentrating to see if they were threats, I answered quickly, "I should rephrase. I feel more dead around me. Are you expecting visitors?"

"No. But we are expecting the rest of the family home."

That surprised me. I faced him with eyebrows raised, "There are…more of you…together?"

He smiled at me, "Yes. Bella, let's go back. I want you to meet my siblings."

I tilted my head, "Siblings?"

He grinned, "Four of them."

Then I smiled, "Your smile is so warm when you say, 'my siblings.' I would guess they are special and lovely. Yes, I would love to meet them."

He grinned wider and stood up quickly. Then he held his hand out to which I took shyly as he pulled me up. Then he opened his arms for me. He must think that I was still injured… but didn't he notice me just fly here? So I grinned impishly.

"What?" he asked, totally oblivious.

"Oh I thought you were observant but clearly you're obtuse," I said a little smugly.

Then I watched as his face changed to that of enlightenment but I didn't give him time to speak.

So I poised myself then called out "Race you!" then I took off.

I heard him chuckling behind me and saying, "No fair! You have wings!"

I smiled. I did have wings…but not for long. So I'm going to savor my last days of flight.

I was showing off a bit, I know. But when was the last time I really enjoyed just flying for myself? The answer would be never. I never flew for myself. I never had the luxury of freedom to want things or even just the feeling of wanting things for myself. So this moment here…is for me.

When I saw the mansion, I aimed for the roof. I coasted at a slow pace before I landed expertly with my left foot touching the edge of the roof first then I crouched with bent knees and propped my elbow on my knees and held my face, tilting a little at Edward who just arrived below me.

He cupped his hands over his mouth and raised his eyebrows at me, "Show off!"

I grinned sheepishly at him and shrugged, "Remember, I'm like your shadow now so your qualities are imbued in me. So by saying I'm a showoff, it could be because I got it from you."

He chuckled while shaking his head. "Anyway, what are you doing up there?"

I thought for a while then shrugged, "I just like the altitude. But hang on, I'm coming down," I said as I adjusted myself and let my left leg dangle on the edge.

"No, no. I'll come up to you," he said raising his palms forward to stop me.

"Maybe next time… I think I should go down now… it would be weird if you're…siblings found a giant black bird on their roof."

He laughed, "That would be funny though. Can't we do that?" he asked pleadingly.

I laughed while shaking my head, "No please. I'd…rather they saw me on solid ground…it's easier."

He sighed in mocked defeat, "Very well." then he looked up at me expectantly with that crooked grin that I missed and held out his arms.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, if you're coming down, well, jump and I'll catch you," he said matter-of-factly.

I wrinkled my nose, "I can fly down you know…"

Unfazed he said, "I know but come on, it's not everyday you get to catch your angel."

I grimaced, "It's supposed to be the other way around!"

"I doubt you could carry me so come on Bella, humor me – please?" Oh no. He said please.

"Very well," I answered. So I stood up then watched as he stretched his arms out grinning beautifully that before I knew it I was falling… then…

"See? I told you I'd catch you?" I heard him whisper. I looked up at him and was momentarily dazzled. He was looking at me with scorching golden eyes with that uneven smile of his. He was beautiful.

He smiled wider then he spoke, "Bella?"

I blinked then reviewed our position. He was carrying me bridal style and my arms must've instinctively wrapped themselves around his neck. I've… never had this level of proximity with him… not this way… not when it was two way…

I blinked again and smiled abashedly at him.

I didn't even realize that he started walking.

"Wait – wait! Put me down please, I can walk," I protested.

"I'm aware but I prefer you here," he answered as he opened the door.

"Edward…" I squeaked.

He sighed then let me down but his hands didn't leave my back.

"Thank you," I said and he grinned.

"Anytime," then he looked out. "They'll be here shortly. They've sensed you here though I doubt they know what you are."

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded.

Then after a minute, they came.

I couldn't contain my shock when I saw them that my eyes widened when I saw them. I almost let out a gasp. I knew them – I knew them all. At one point or another – I saw them.

Their golden eyes darted from me to Edward then back at me – scrutinizing. I just stared back in response but I knew Edward felt me stiffen.

Then the smallest one – the inky black-haired one grinned at me and made a step forward but was stopped by the tall blond muscular man who stood in front of her while holding my gaze with his piercing eyes – turning into black slits.

Edward rubbed my back and I just continued to stare.

Edward cleared his throat and talked calmly, "Everyone, this is Bella. There's no need to be alarmed," then he looked at me reassuringly and I looked up at him. "Bella, these are my siblings…" then he faced the smallest one and introduced her.

"Bella, this is –

"Alice… Mary Alice Brandon…" I cut him off with a whisper.

Everyone's eyes widened especially Edward. He placed his hand on my face and made me face him. "You – you know Alice?"

I looked away at him and my eyes drifted from one face to another, "Mary Alice Brandon… Jasper Whitlock… Emmett McArty… Rosalie Lillian Hale…"

"Who is she? Edward? Why does she know us?" Rosalie demanded.

"Holy shit! Is she – is she Death?" Emmett said, his eyes bulging out.

Jasper just looked at me intensely, his mouth a straight firm line.

"I know who she is and what she is… but I don't know why she knows you…" Edward answered then made me face him gently again.

"Bella, please explain…"

I looked at him and the horrifying scenes came back. This was another case wherein questions hold no place if one desires not to be hurt all over again.

His eyes grew shocked in alarm as he saw the fright in mine. I froze.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he shook me a bit.

Then I blinked and tried to compose myself and faced them.

"I am Bella. I was Edward's guardian angel then I became an angel of death the moment he was turned into what all of you are. During my decades of being Death… I saw all of you… I was called to send the souls you've killed…or the souls that killed you… or other souls that linked with yours in one way or the other. Forgive me for giving the… the blunt responses… but I… I think it's best that you do not know the specifics. They are irrelevant and things of the past."

"Edward, is this true?" Emmett asked.

Edward nodded, "She speaks the truth about being my angel and becoming death but it's only now that I knew that she knew you but please don't pressure her into answering all the questions running in your heads. She will answer in her time. She needs to rest," he said warningly.

I looked at him gratefully and a little guiltily, "Thank you. I will answer questions…but please… not right now. I'm sorry." I still had to find a way of phrasing my stories for them.

Alice nodded and grinned at me though she was the one who deserved to know the truth about her past the most. I had a feeling she forgot all her memories. "I understand, we all do. Though it's pretty funny that I didn't see you coming."

So she carried her psychic ability? I nodded gratefully at her.

Jasper looked at me expectantly. I looked at all of them and sighed.

"I will talk to all of you… one by one I guess… and as a group…but… could I start tomorrow? It's not that I don't want to… it's just… I feel a bit weary… my transformation is starting… and I might not be able to tell all of your stories right from the sudden rush of emotions… I'm really sorry… but if you insist, then I would do my best to –

I was cut off.

Edward shook his head and frowned, "No. She will tell us when she is ready and well rested. Carlisle will fill you in on some details we learned awhile ago but right now, please excuse us," he said firmly then he looked at me with a softer expression and smiled.

"Come on, let's go to my room. They won't bother you, I promise," he said. I felt guilty that I was requesting things now and for Edward to do that for me.

"Edward, it's okay. I think I can manage after all –

He cut me off once more by placing his fingers on my lips. Then he grinned, "No need to be a hero Bella. You need to rest and that's final."

I smiled then nodded at him then I faced his family apologetically. "I'm truly sorry and thank you." I bowed to them then started to walk upstairs when I was whisked away to Edward's room in a flash with me on his arms.

"Sorry," he muttered while opening his door. "It's faster this way."

I just nodded.

He then placed me gently on his black leather sofa then sat beside me.

I looked down, "I'm sorry Edward."

I felt a finger under my chin and found myself looking up at his ocher eyes. He looked the same way I used to look at him before – concerned.

"Please don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for," he whispered.

I smiled a little then looked away.

He let my face go and silence enveloped us.

"Bella?"

I turned to face him at once, tilting my head. Then I shifted a little when I realized how close he was.

"Yes Edward?"

He ran a hand through his bronze hair and half-smiled, "You were the one I always dreamt about weren't you?"

I looked down shyly, "I… guess…"

He chuckled, "Why so shy suddenly? I don't think anyone would mind if they dreamt about you."

I just smiled. "Edward, would you like to sleep?"

He chuckled again, "I don't think that's possible for me anymore."

I eyed him, "What if I told you, you could? Would you…want to?"

He thought for awhile then wrinkled his nose, "I don't know… but maybe you should instead?"

I shook my head, "No, I don't think I would want to sleep when you're awake."

"I see, so in order for you to sleep I have to sleep as well?" he asked.

"You don't have too… I don't need sleep to recover," I assured him. "I just want to know if you want to because it's been a long time that you haven't… it's a welcome peace to restless nights, don't you think?"

"True," he agreed. But I would rather you sleep instead of me. Yet I'm willing to compromise. I'll sleep if you will."

I looked up and mulled over it. "Okay."

He grinned, "Okay?"

I smiled back. "Yes. Now lie down." I stood up so he could have room to lie down.

He did that then I placed a hand on his forehead.

"There are dying people who hurt so much that I grant them their wish to die in peace so I make them sleep…to numb their pain…that's why… I can make anyone sleep… well in your case, I can give you the illusion of sleep. What I'm really making you do is to feel nothing but tranquility" I whispered to him.

He closed his eyes and smiled, "That's very generous of you."

I laughed a little, "It's in my nature. Remember that the next time you think highly of my virtues. I am designed to be that way. Who knows if I wasn't if I ended up a demon? You can't really say."

"I doubt it."

I leaned over him and placed both of my palms on either side of his face, drawing my wings closer to us then whispered, "I am a shadow of you. What you are becomes what I am. That's why I don't doubt it as well… knowing who you really are… now sleep Edward… and dream…"

As I felt a small energy within me flowing through him slowly, I could feel him falling deeper and deeper into the realm of sleep. When I knew it was just enough that he could manage on his own, I stopped then withdrew my hands from his face.

I was about to walk towards the window when I felt him grab my hand.

I faced him and saw one of his tired eyes straining to keep open.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Where are you going?" he murmured.

"To the window?"

He frowned and shook his head. Then he opened his arms to me. Was he implying that I…?

"Bella…" he whispered hoarsely, "When you were my angel, where do you stay whenever I sleep?"

"Beside you, silly but –

He struggled to open his eyes to look at me. His golden eyes glowed against the hazy illumination of his room. "Where beside me? How close? Why don't you show me?"

My eyebrows knit, "Well… before you couldn't see me so I thought it would be uncomfortable for you if you knew how close I would stay beside you. Most people would…"

He chuckled, "You forget, I'm not like most people. In all the years that I could sleep you were beside me if I'm correct, so why stop now?"

"If you wish it…"

"I do… I'm sorry though maybe I'm the one who's making you uncomfortable. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. It's just that… I have to be honest. I just don't feel right if you're not near me."

To be honest, I was too. I guess we were bonded more strongly than I thought. So I smiled then flew above him – an inch separating our bodies while my bells tinkled from the motion.

He watched me and kept eye contact with me. My hair cascaded down and dropped near his head, some to his face, his neck and his chest… I reached out a hand to touch his face surprised that he reached out one of his.

We laughed at that without breaking our gazes and continued to touch each of our faces nonetheless.

I closed my eyes and let him stroke my face shivering from his touch. I let out a sigh from how good it felt for him to touch me. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me in wonder. I smiled at him.

"What do you do next?" he asked. And I was embarrassed because each time, before I descended to his side I would do just one more thing that might've started my attachment to him.

"I'm a little embarrassed," I confessed.

"Please don't be," he assured me.

So I smiled at him, placed both of my hands on his face while closing my eyes and leant down to meet my lips to his forehead. I never kissed him on the lips. Just the forehead though I really wanted to kiss his lips… but out of respect for him I never did.

When I opened my eyes to face him, I was surprised when I saw that his eyes were closed and his mouth was parted slightly. He gave a soft sigh then opened his eyes to meet mine once more.

"There, now go to sleep Edward."

He just looked at me then gave a short nod. I found that reaction puzzling. He was… lost in his thoughts… so I proceeded with what I usually did before.

I descended to his right side and lied down on my sides as there was little space to accommodate us on his sofa.

I wrapped an arm around his waist like it was the most natural thing to do then I drew my wings closer to us to envelope us… like before…

Then I felt a hand on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him – my head on the crook of his neck. I inhaled and he smelled so good and I was really… fascinated by… how well we fit together… maybe I was made for him and him alone? Was this why we met again? Was this why we became what we are? Or have I doomed us all?

And you as I saw
We're [a] piece in a jigsaw

I shuddered.

He noticed and at once I felt him hold me tighter.

"Good night Edward," I murmured.

"Good night Bella," he answered back.

Then I looked up and watched him close his eyes, his lashes fanning his face, his mouth parted slightly… then peace finally overcame him.

I smiled and brushed a few strands of his hair off his face. I truly love Edward. I just hope that of the reasons I knew I was here for – I sincerely hope it's not the one – not the dreaded one…

Run up the divide and
Tip of the tongue

But tonight like the Sabbath is rest.

We need rest.

There were more things to come.

That was certain.

I was counting on the light inside him and what light was left of me. I just hope it would be enough. I've got so many answers and so many questions to equal them. I wonder how things would turn out.

Run round the houses
North and the south is
You've got your answers
We have both got The Sleeping Sun

The Sleeping Sun

AN: I know I promised a Friday or Saturday update but I got tied up with school work and stuff and I also had problems with internet connections. I'm very sorry that's why I made this chapter longer. I will update in a few days time, I promise! So if you have Coldplay song ideas, pm me or add it in your review. Please and thank you! Until next time dears!

Much love,

Margaux

P.S. So that you guys can have an idea for next chapter, I will always post at the end from now on the next song for the next chapter and so on and so forth.

Next song would be – "Daylight." Edward's POV.