Warning: This fic contains scenes of randomness, language, and other such situations, which may not be suitable for some readers. It also contains a lot of babbling before the fic, because Eric can talk more than a gossipy old woman at a quilting-bee and we're letting him type the A/N (Please don't hurt us for letting Eric ramble).

Summary: More randomness than you can shake a stick at. An out of control Mary-Sue, a Cat-girl, and other such things.

A/N: Review responses can be found at the bottom of this chapter. This is the last, and longest, chapter of From the Floppy Called Subversive, but there will be an epilogue, and an author's note, which will be cleverly disguised, so that it wont get deleted. Loopholes rock, don't they?

Smurf handles (writes) the serialhugger fan-fic's for the Naruto fandom; if you have anything you want her to try out, or you just feel the need to comment, you can always write it into a review, or you can e-mail her. Check out our profile page for her public e-mail address, just click the little link there that says Email and you'll be able to see it.

Have you noticed that Smurf has an unhealthy obsession with Kankuro? It's because he can manipulate puppets so well, and that means he's extremely talented with his hands (at least that's what she said). But yeah, we asked her why she didn't write a Kankuro fic, and she said it was because she doesn't share well with others.

Factoids: Did you know that Smurf actually almost failed kindergarten because she refused to share with the other students? It's true. She also nearly killed Janey last night for stealing her Chouji blanket (yeah, she got bored one day when she was sick, so she made a blanket with a chibi Chouji eating chips as butterfly's fluttered around him- its actually really erm- nice, I mean Janey was gushing about it's uber-cuteness, so I guess that means its good, right?).

Okay! Smurf and Janey are giving me the evil eye; I think I've made this sufficiently long enough.

Disclaimer: The serialhugger collective does not own Naruto or any trademarks or copyrights related thereof. All we own are Smurf's original characters and the story itself. We also don't own anything you, the readers of this fic, may recognize from somewhere else. Please note that we have admitted our non-ownage. This is a work of fan fiction, and as such is non-profit. No money has exchanged hands, and no copyright/ trademark infringement was intended, so please refrain from sicking lawyers on us.

Dedication: This chapter is for Dead Uchiha-sama… because I said so! Go read her stories immediately after finishing this fic!

Break Down Of The Chapters:

1. Prologue
2. Ch.1: Neji/Hina, OC/Neji
3. Ch.2: Sasu/Naru, OC/Sasu
4. Ch.3: Saku/Ino, Sasu/Naru
5. Ch.4: Shika/Chou
6. Ch.5: Kiba/Shino, OC/Kiba
7. Ch.6: Tem/Ten
8. Ch.7: Gaa/Lee, OC/Gaa
9. Ch.8: Tsun/Ji, Ji/OC, Kaka/Iru
10.Ch.9: Kaka/Iru, OC/Kaka
11.Epilogue
12.Author's Note

We had to put that there because someone e-mailed her a little confused as to why she was calling chapter two, chapter one. Just so that everyone is clear, a prologue isn't really a chapter, neither is an epilogue or an author's note. They are merely added bits of (pre/post) story information that add to the coherency or completeness of said fic. Smurf thought it was funny, because she got an e-mail but no review from the person. But she was also ecstatic over the e-mail.

Now, on to the fiction!

'I'm thinking.' "I'm writing." I'm narrating.

From the Floppy Called Subversive
By: Smurf
Posted By: Smurf, Janey & Eric

Chapter Nine: In Which The Final Straw Is Reached
 (otherwise known as The Iruka Effect)

The house of Mary-Sue, as Jamesie had come to dub it, was unusually calm. Mary-Sue was in the kitchen going over the latest edition of the official Mary-Sue handbook. No doubt in order to kill time in between attempted conquests. The neko really didn't want to have to deal with her sister right at that moment. She could still feel herself blushing, and that goofy kind of half smile refused to leave her face.

Stupid perverted old man, making her blush! Grrr!

Mary-Sue caught a glimpse of the expression on her feline siblings face and let out a girlish squeal, before rushing over to said sibling, and demanding answers to a number of immature questions, most of which she could have answered herself. But hey, cross-examining her already flustered younger sibling would be as good a way to pass the time as any, and it might prove very entertaining to boot. Ah, yes, it was time for the much dreaded one on one sisterly bonding that could be summed up using one hyphenate; it was time for girl-talk!

"Y- you're BLUSHING! I know that look! I invented that look! Who is it? Oh, it's him isn't it? Of course it's him! He did save you after all, and we are in a fan-fic universe, so it has to be him! Oh my god! I can't believe it! My very own little sister… So? What happened? Tell me! Please? Did he kiss you? Did you like it? Was it nice?" and it just went on and on, getting continually worse and more embarrassing as it did so. The dark haired girl had glomped on to Jamesie's arm and was leading her up to her bedroom where they could continue their conversation in a more comfortable, and almost slumber party-like environment.

Jamesie had several questions of her own rushing through her mind, all of which were along the same line. None of which she dared to voice out loud. After all, she didn't want to make Mary-Sue more upset with her than she had been already. Seriously, older sisters can be pure evil when they get angry, and this one was already evil to begin with. Once again Jamesie longed for the battle between authoress and muses to come to an end so that she could take both herself and her trouble making older sister back to the sanctity of Smurf's mind.

'Does Mary-Sue ever just shut up? When will this conversation come to an end? Why isn't it coming to an end? Does Smurf have something against me that makes her want to put me though such torture? Or is the blond typist off ogling that puppet wielding sand-nin yet again? If I stay quiet will she give up? Oh, why oh why oh why isn't this conversation over yet? Why?' she let out a small groan, and stifled a choked sob.

Ha! As if anything short of acute laryngitis could shut Mary-Sue up. Even then the out of control OC would probably resort to cue cards, or sign language, or even some strange sort of combination of the two methods of voiceless communication.

Damned determined Mary-Sue!

As for the authoress, she was busy at the moment going over reviews, feeling very happy that she hadn't received any bad reviews for her insanity induced fic, drinking pot after pot of coffee, munching on Oreos, and yes, glancing over to ogle her favorite sand-nin, every ten or fifteen seconds or so. Okay, fine! It was every four or five seconds. But so what? Is the frequency of Smurf's ogling really anyone else's business?

Over the next few hours Jamesie was put through hell, although she had to wonder if hell had coffee, as she was forced to undergo an interrogation by her big sister. Well shit, if she had to go through it at least she had coffee, and she knew where Mary-Sue was. As a matter of fact, the whole torture thing came with one hell of a silver lining. As long as Mary-Sue was practicing her interrogation techniques on her, then she couldn't be out causing grave disruptions to the balance of the Naruto-verse. Satisfied with that fact, Jamesie settled down for a long night of torment.

Several attempts were made to win the cat-girl over to the side of the E.M.S.S. all of which were met with a raised blond eyebrow, and a disbelieving grunt. But hey, you couldn't blame a Mary Sue for trying, now could you? No, didn't think so.

The conversation was actually so girlish, that the authoress of this bit of fiction decided to wander off in search of an espresso, and some Oreo ice cream. She had never been one for the girlier aspects of, well, girldom. And hey, if she just happened to run into her favorite Naruto character, and then conveniently forgot to come back and monitor the progress of the chapter in favor of some alone time, then so be it. Mary-Sue was behaving herself, and Jamesie was quite capable of handling things if a situation should arise. Right? Right. So, humming happily the authoress walked away, leaving the two fictional girls to their female bonding moment.

Elsewhere, in Konoha, a particular silver haired, masked, shinobi was perched upon the branch of a rather advantageously planted tree, admiring the view. It wasn't the landscaping of the area that he was admiring however, nor was it the architecture, what he was focusing on was something quite different indeed. Konohagakure's famed copy-nin was peeping in on the Konoha Ninja Academy's most popular Chuunin instructor, one Umino Iruka, as he changed out of his work clothes and into something more conducive to house work and grading papers.

Such a dedicated teacher, and so domestic too!

Now, why the Chuunin never thought to close his blinds whilst changing clothes, is anyone's guess. Perhaps it was because of his trusting nature, which disallowed him to think that there was a possibility of someone peeping in on him. Or perhaps he was simply too innocent to realize that he was so downright drool worthy, and the crush of several inhabitants of the Naruto-verse. Or it could even have been that he was fully aware that he had an audience and was quite contented to let them enjoy the little peepshow he was putting on.

Ah, Iruka, the man that could inspire voyeuristic tendencies, lovesick glances, and hentai fantasies in even the straightest of men. It was those pretty brown eyes of his… No, wait, it was the way that the scar that ran across his nose made him look so adorable (though how a scar could be adorable Kakashi didn't know, sexy he could understand, but adorable?), especially when he scratched or rubbed at it. Or perhaps, it was the way the Chuunin nibbled on his pen when he got bored while manning the mission office.

Kakashi fought back a groan, who knew that taking off a pair of socks could be so damn sexy? But then again Iruka was capable of making everything, no matter how innocent, seem erotic in nature and not even realize that he was doing so. The man was a goddamn wet-dream come to life!

There was just no one single thing that made the chocolate-eyed man so damn enticing. It was the whole package. Yup, Iruka was a phenomenon all of his own. That was why the famed copy-nin had been making a careful study of the younger man with his sharingan eye; he wanted to learn what made Iruka so irresistible. Well, that wasn't quite true. What he really wanted was to make his Iruka centric fantasies as realistic as possible.

Hey, It was his eye and he could do whatever the hell he wanted with it! Besides he was positive that Obito would have approved of the way he was employing the powers of the Uchiha blood limit. Shit, he was probably high-fiveing Yondaime right that very moment, while the two of them made lewd comments, shared a bowl of popcorn, and enjoyed the wonderful sight that was Iruka.

After several hours of Iruka watching (he had watched as the younger man did house chores, and as he finished grading a stack of papers, and then as the adorable man got ready for bed, and even for a half-hour or so after the Chuunin had fallen asleep), Kakashi was understandably tired. Using the sharingan took a lot out of him, after all, not to mention the lethargy that he was experiencing after having to relive himself of a not so little problem before heading home via the roof tops.

Mary-Sue was positive that this time she would not fail! She was going to use a maneuver that not once, in the history of Mary-Sue's, had ever been defeated. After all, this was going to be her most difficult mission to date, and she could no longer afford to play around using basic techniques; she needed to bring out the big guns. She smirked as she went over her plan to win the bishounen of her most recent Mary-Sue fantasies. Ah yes, this time she would win, and succeed in disrupting the Naruto-verse, while earning herself a place in Mary-Sue history!

Her evil maniacal laughter once again filled the air of the fandom, sending chills up the spines of all who heard it. Those who had previous experience with the crazed Mary-Sue, who was currently terrorizing their world, were reduced to the very un-shinobi-like practice of hiding under their beds. Those who were not familiar with the devil-incarnate that was Mary-Sue were left with a feeling of foreboding, but were uncertain as to why. Even the authoress and her fellow collective members were terror struck by the amount of insanity that the wicked giggle fit managed to convey. And somewhere, off in his own corner of the Naruto-verse, Uchiha Itachi was curled up in the fetal position, hiding in his closet, rocking slightly, and silently praying that he was not the intended victim of the latest Mary-Sue attack.

Do you readers realize just how bad something has to be in order for it to make Itachi act like a timid toddler who's afraid of the boogeyman?

After laughing herself out Mary-Sue went to prepare for her greatest mission. She was confident that nothing, and no one, short of an act of the gods, or a pissed off authoress, could stop her. But, as Smurf was still battling against the hordes of Muses who wanted control of her thought process, while simultaneously fantasizing about the skilled hands, and dexterous fingers of a certain sand-nin, Mary-Sue was fairly sure she needed not to fear any interference from said authoress.

What was her newest mission, you ask? The seduction of Hatake Kakashi, of course! After all, he had been the one she wanted all along; it was just that due to his away mission, she had been forced to make do with the ninjas available to her until his return. But don't repeat that, it would be a rather nasty blow to the egos of quite a few male shinobi inhabiting the fandom.

Mary-Sue had been counting on what her creator had come to dub the Iruka effect, in order to successfully complete part two of her mission. Part one had been to get her troublesome feline sibling out of the way by slipping her a slightly weaker version of the knock out potion she had given to Naruto way back in Chapter Two, installment three of the fic. The dumb blond neko hadn't even suspected that something might have been slipped into her coffee as they had been chatting about men and other such things.

What is the second part of her mission, you ask? Just wait and see.

Once the silver-haired leaf-nin was asleep snuggled- but not exactly safe- in his bed, Mary-Sue began Operation Seduce Hatake Kakashi. With her latest mind jutsu firmly in place (much thanks Zabuza and Haku for teaching her such a valuable little trick), the dark haired girl snuck into his house knowing full well that he was too exhausted to even notice her presence and proceeded with her iniquitous plan to make said ninja her own, and to permanently disrupt the Kaka/Iru story arc, thus making the copy-nin the sole property of the E.M.S.S.

Mary-Sue's everywhere could rejoice at the monumental victory. That is, if she were successful, which she was certain she would be.

The indolent copy-nin didn't even stir as the girl slipped into the bed and snuggled up next to him. As a matter of fact, since said ninja's brain- not to mention body- were seeped in happy little sex hormones and deliciously yaoi dreams of his lovely school teacher obsession, he snuggled right back, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling his still masked face (he had been too tired to remove it) into her hair, letting out a little sigh as he did so.

"Rrruuuukaaaaa," he murmured, the name rolling off of his tongue, and then promptly fell back into his silent state of slumber.

Mary-Sue smirked, tomorrow was going to be very fun indeed.

The following morning, Kakashi awoke as filtered gold streamed through his window in elegant ribbons, and danced across his still masked face. Contrary to popular belief, the Jounin did not sleep in; he was what one would call an early riser. He was about to sit up and swing his legs over the side of his bed when he realized that there was a weight across his midsection. A little startled, the man looked down and found that the strange weight was in fact an arm. His eyes widened momentarily, and then narrowed into dangerous slits.

There were two things going through his mind at that moment and those two things were, 'WHO THE HELL IS THAT? AND HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET INTO MY BED?' He then proceeded to poke his sleeping bed partner into consciousness.

Mary-Sue opened her eyes slowly, blinking several times in that look-at-me-I'm-so-angelic-and-sweet manner that all Mary-Sue's instinctively know upon conception. She then did the don't-I-look-like-a-cutie-pie-and-don't-you-just-want-to-hug-me yawn and stretch combination that had ensnared even the most difficult of fictitious characters. She then looked over at the man who had been poking her shoulder, none to gently she might add.

It was then that she put the rest of her devious plan into action. For a brief moment she stared at him with impossibly wide eyes, blinking them owlishly at the proper intervals. That gesticulation was quickly followed by a resounding scream that had everyone in the fandom covering his or her ears in pain. Hell it was so loud it even woke up the drugged cat-girl who had this time been shackled to the academy swing set with some rather heavy duty chains she had borrowed- without permission- from the one and only Kabuto, and gagged so that she wouldn't be able to call for help, even if she wanted to.

Luckily for our favorite cat-girl this is a fan-fic universe, and she has her very own type of stalker, the silver haired Sennin, known as Jiraiya. The Super Pervert responsible for the creation of the Icha Icha series found the cat-girl before the students and instructors had arrived, thus sparing her any embarrassment she would have been made to endure if she had to be rescued by a freaking ten-year-old kid. For the second time Jiraiya was forced to play the roll of rescuer to a damsel, of the feline persuasion, in distress. Not that he minded you see. It was just that if he was going to perform a service, he wanted some sort of payment, or at least to be shown a little gratitude- preferably of an Icha Icha inspired variety.

Perverted horny old man.

The Sennin grinned at the girl as he released her from her binds and said- with a twinkle in his eyes, "You know, we've got to stop meeting like this." And then he decided to get in another grope by disguising it as helping her to dust off the seat of her pants.

Jamesie's eyebrow twitched, and she delivered one hell of a blow to the poor mans habitually ill-treated cranium, before reaching into one of her many pockets and producing that funny little book she was always reading. She needed to find out what, exactly, her hellion of an elder sibling was up to, and she needed to stop whatever it was in an expeditious manner. Or the consequences would be severe.

Wait a minute; hadn't Jiraiya brought Kakashi back with him the other day? And hadn't she found that rather risqué fan-art picture of the masked man in Mary-Sue's underwear drawer (along side some fuzzy hand cuffs, a pair of dirty dice, and a mixed CD entitled Make-out Music)? What? She had been looking for a pair of socks to borrow. Sheesh! It wasn't as if she was in the habit of sneaking into people's underwear drawers and taking stock- or anything else- of their contents.

Dirty minded readers!

Back in Kakashi's bedroom the confused Jounin was dodging a lamp, two pillows, a pair of zori, and his picture of team 7 back in their Gennin days, while Mary-Sue was putting on a rather convincing performance of a scandalized, innocent, frightened, young, woman from the 3-D world who had somehow managed to fall into the Naruto-verse after being electrocuted by her DVD player.

She was screaming at him to get out of her bedroom, and other such bits of inanity, when she picked up his first edition, signed copy of Icha Icha Paradise Volume; One, and made ready to launch it at his head. She had been in the middle of calling him "a creepy, cos-play, perverted stalker," when Kakashi had made a quick movement and appeared behind her gripping her wrist (the one attached to the hand holding his book), in order to take the paperback away from her. Mary-Sue startled (or at least she pretended to) a little bit, and managed to throw them both off balance enough to tumble over, so that they were in a tangle of limbs on the floor. Somehow during their fall Kakashi had wound up on top of the deceitful dark-eyed girl.

Poor Kakashi, he was then treated to another loud outburst. The girl's high-pitched scream was enough to wake the dead, and lord knows there were probably a billion or so corpses trying to shield their ears from her sound based attack.

Somewhere in the very back of the copy-nin's mind he was vaguely aware of this thought, 'If that could be taught as a jutsu it would be one hell of a way to immobilize an enemy,' before scrambling away from the little noise maker, covering his now thoroughly abused ears, and wincing at the shrillness of her screaming.

Then the throwing of things and shouting of insults and threats started anew, and lasted until she picked up something from Kakashi's bedside table in order to hurl it at him, and caught a glimpse of what it was before stopping her rant, and blinking a few times with her jaw dropped.

"You- I- This… this isn't mine," she then took a look around as if for the first time realizing where she was, or rather where she wasn't. "WHERE AM I? WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU HAD BETTER NOT HAV-"

Kakashi raised his hands in a non-threatening gesture that begged for her to be quiet so he could at least answer her first question. Surprisingly that simple gesture worked. Kakashi explained that she was in his bedroom, in his apartment, in the village of Konoha, and that he had no idea how she had come to be there, and that no, he hadn't done anything to her, and yes, he was quite positive that he wasn't a crazy person, and what… or where was Edmonton?

After a few hours the girl seemed to be relatively calm, at least she wasn't chucking things and screaming anymore. Though she did seem as if she was having trouble coming to terms with what she had just been told. Not that Kakashi was finding it any easier to digest the things that he had told her. She was from a different world? It sounded like something out of a science fiction novel (Yes, contrary to popular belief, Kakashi did read books that weren't a part of the Icha Icha series, he simply preferred his book form porn to other kinds of reading material was all.). Jiraiya was quite the talented writer in spite of everything else people might have you think.

Our little Mary-Sue is quite the actress isn't she?

Jiraiya was once again left in a confused state, as he sat on the grass of the Academy grounds, rubbing at his sore head. His cat-girl sure did pack a mean punch; it could even rival Tsunade's. And speaking of the Godaime, wasn't he supposed to be meeting her this morning? He shot to his feet and scrambled in the direction of the insanely strong woman's office. She got rather testy when he was late, and a testy Tsunade, was not someone he wanted to spend the morning with. Hell it wasn't even someone he wanted to be in the same country with. He much preferred her when she didn't want to beat him to with an inch of his life.

Everything was going according to plan. Kakashi hadn't spent more than two minutes away from Mary-Sue since waking up that morning. And that was just so that he could go to the bathroom. He had even offered her some clothes to wear, after all, the pajamas she was wearing were cute, but they weren't exactly practical. He could practically see through the worn material of her oversized white t-shirt, not that he didn't appreciate the view, it was just that he didn't want to get attacked and called all sorts of names for a second time this chapter. The problematic OC was delighted beyond words that she had finally succeeded in procuring herself one of the most desired bishounen in the entire fan-fic universe. Nothing could stop her. There was very little of the chapter left to go, and her kitty cat sister was probably still knocked out and tied to that swing set. Ah yes, life was good.

Jamesie had made her way to the home of one Umino Iruka, she found him locking up his front door, in order to head off to work. Kakashi was nowhere to be found. This wasn't good.

'DAMNIT! Where's Kakashi? He's supposed to be following Iruka!' she thought angrily. "Ooooh, Mary-Sue, you're sooo going to get it!" the cat-girl stomped her left foot in a physical expression of her exasperation with her elder sibling, and then hurried off to save the masked man, only, what was she going to do? She couldn't just grab the older girl and take her away; she had already proven that that doesn't work. So, what was she going to do? She had to come up with something and fast!

The stressed out cat-girl rushed off in search of her creator, in hopes of maybe finding a solution buried somewhere in Smurf's imagination.

Kakashi cocked his head to the side as he tried to place the strange almost marching sound he heard coming down the corridor of his apartment building. It was either an angry mob, or Naruto on Pixie Stix (dude, those things can make even the most sloth-like person hyper as hell). Naruto was more than likely having a nice little romp with Sasuke, so that left the angry mob. But what would a mob, let alone an angry one be doing in his apartment building? Unless…

He took one look over at Mary-Sue, who was too wrapped up in her thoughts of success to notice anything out of the ordinary. Being the genius that he is Kakashi moved out of the way, claiming that he was going to the kitchen to get them both something to drink. He was well out of the living room when his door was broken down and a horde of angry fan-fic writers stormed the place, swarming on Mary-Sue, beating her to a bloody pulp and hog-tying her before dusting off their collective hands and wandering back to the various Kaka/Iru communities, and fan sites they had come from.

A lone cat-girl was left behind to deal with her errant sister. She waved at Kakashi, smiling in a friendly manner, and then sent him off to catch up with Iruka, telling him that she'd clean up the mess, and to have a nice day.

Kakashi thought he had seen the cat-girl before, and then it clicked, she was Jiraiya's little Mary-Sue in denial. Smiling back at her he said a quick thank you, with his visible eye curved into a happy little arch, and headed on his merry way.

End Chapter!
Up Next: The Epilogue In Which The Randomness Comes to An End.

Review Responces:

HatakeKakashi22: I'm very grateful for the Oreos. And YAY! I made someone feel special! Hope this chapter is to your liking as well.

:Hugs HatakeKakashi22, and cries tears of gratitude:

Thank you for your kind reviews! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Motion Sickness: I know you'll review this sooner or later, so thank you in advance for the expected review, and thank you for the reviews you've already given me!

:Offers up some of her precious Oreo's to share with sickness:

Dead Uchiha: Firstly I'm glad you're enjoying your gift. And as to how I got him well lets just say it involved liberal amounts of sake, a potato peeler, and a piñata. Don't ask. LOL. I'm really thankful for all of your really nice reviews. They helped a lot when it came to editing and things.

Hugs and Oreos!
Smurf.