A/N: Alright, we are picking up the drama here! It just never seems to end for poor Meredith. Review and enjoy :)
Meredith sat outside the chief's office with Derek and Mark. Alex was in there right now being interrogated about last night. Shifting nervously in her chair, Meredith ran through everything that had happened. Was she sure she smelt scotch on Derek? Or was it her furious imagination or even the patient being moved again? Mark grabbed her hand and squeezed tight, giving her a reassuring look. "You know what you know" he whispered, leaning in close to kiss the side of her head. "It will be okay."
Suddenly the door opened as Alex slipped out, his face hard to read. "Dr. Sloan, please" Chief ordered, a glare permanently hardened on his face. Meredith gave his hand one last squeeze before letting Mark go, leaving Meredith to sit with Alex and Derek. Derek sighed before putting his head in his hands. Meredith rolled her eyes before looking to Alex.
"How did it go?" She asked him quietly.
"Fine" Alex said, an edge in his voice. "The two of you have made so much freaking drama in the place, it's a wonder you are still employed." He shook his head.
"I'm sorry you have gotten pulled into all this," Meredith tried to make him feel better. "I never wanted any of this to happen."
"Then maybe you shouldn't have been sleeping around, you wh-" Derek mumbled.
"Excuse me?" Meredith interrupted him. "Are you saying that I am a whore? Because you have no right to call me that."
"Enough" Alex raised his voice. "This has gone on long enough. Just drop it."
And silence filled the small hallway. Meredith leaned her head back in exasperation as she waited her turn. Eventually the door opened again and Mark was walking out, a sad smile on his face. "Dr. Grey," Chief beckoned her into his office. She squared her shoulders as she walked with false confidence into the office. Meredith sat in the chair across from the Chief, just as she had done a few days ago with Addison. "Dr. Grey, I have seen you in here too much this week. That doesn't look good for you."
"I am aware, Chief. I would like to request that I not work with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd or Dr. Shepherd again for awhile. I believe that the severity of our personal lives are impacting the ability for all of us to create a healthy teaching environment. I also would like to apologize for my lack of speaking up," Meredith remained composed as she seriously looked into the hard gaze of the Chief.
"It is hard for me to continue teaching a surgeon who won't take charge and have a voice-"
"Surely, sir, you can remember being an intern" Meredith interrupted, her false confidence turning into a reality. "We are the lowest on the food chain and one bad move will get us fed to the wolves. One mistake can make life a living hell or destroy a life. It's hard and I accept that. So could you remember what it was like to be new and just beginning to understand this complicated and crazy world?" Meredith's words hung in the air. The Chief's face softened as he stared at her.
"I do remember" he said quietly. "I remember how difficult it was. I remember your mother being strong though. She also spoke up."
"Sir," Meredith's voice remained strong. "Please do not compare me to my mother. I may be her daughter and resemble her in many ways including our stubbornness and our talents but I am still my own person. I am not Ellis Grey, I am Meredith Grey. And last night Dr. Shepherd was repeatedly not answering pages, arrived aggravated and after snapping at me, banned me from the surgery. As he left the room I caught the smell of scotch but believing in the morality I know Derek has somewhere within him, I thought it was left over from the patient, who was for sure intoxicated. After hearing what Dr. Sloan had to say about the surgery, it leads me to believe that Derek Shepherd is responsible for the fatality last night. Is there anything else you need from me?"
"No," the Chief gave a proud smile. "Meredith Grey, thank you for you honesty and for speaking confidently." He stood and went to the door. "Have a seat as I speak with Dr. Shepherd."
Meredith moved to the chair next to Mark, flashing him a smile. The door shut behind Derek with a slam. "How did it go?" Mark asked, concern filling his eyes.
"Just fine" Meredith grinned. "I told him everything that I knew."
"That's bullshit, Chief" Derek's voice was heard even in the hallway. The door flew open as Derek stormed out and towards the catwalk above the rest of the hospital. An exhausted looking Chief appeared in the door shortly after and addressed Alex, Mark and Meredith.
"Dr. Shepherd is at fault for the death of Jack Carson, he had been revoked of all surgical privileges for the next month. You are all off the hook, but do not let it happen again. Go back to work." And the Chief disappeared back in his office. Alex shot up and was out of there like a flash. Mark gently kissed Meredith before his pager went off.
"I have to run. It's a patient" he explained.
"Go" Meredith assured him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before Mark pulled away to run off towards his patients. Meredith took a calming deep breath before making her way to find Bailey and get a new assignment.
On the catwalk she saw a frantic Addison arguing with a furious Derek. "Please, Derek. I am your wife. Talk to me" she pleaded as Meredith walked by.
"I don't have surgical privileges for a month, okay?" Derek slammed his hand on the railing next to him. "Meredith!" He called to her. Fear coursed through her as she prepared for the next slew of accusing comments from him. Instead of answering she kept walking, hoping he would drop it.
"Keep walking," she whispered to herself.
"Are you ignoring me now, you adulterous whore?" Derek yelled. Now this stopped her in her tracks. She turned slowly, trying not to let his statement get to her. "Why are you screwing my best friend?" he yelled again, causing heads to turn their direction.
"Derek, quiet. You are bringing attention to yourself" Addison pleaded placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Shut up, you know you are no better that she is. You also screwed my best friend. In my bedroom. In MY house!" Derek continued to yell.
"Derek, just calm down. You are creating too much attention" Addison pleaded again.
"Oh and you don't like attention? You were the one who strutted in here like the bitch that you are and ruined a perfectly good relationship."
"Derek! Stop" Meredith crossed to him, her confidence regained. "You do not get to go around calling us names. I am not a whore. I was a girl in a bar who fell in love with you. And you broke that. You didn't tell me you were married. You broke my heart. And now I am trying to repair what you broke. I am trying to move on after losing the man I thought was my true love. And it so happens that I am with Mark Sloan. I am not just screwing him, I am in love with him."
Derek narrowed his eyes. "I am sure you love a man whore" he cruelly spit out the words.
"He is no man whore. He is a better man than you any day. You ruin relationships and break hearts leaving the kind and generous Mark to try and soothe those wounds. Do you know why he and Addison had an affair? Because he loved her. He loved her from the start but you took her, you loved her and then dropped her. You do not get to call her a bitch. She is trying to save a marriage. You do not get to call me a whore and you sure as hell do not get to call Mark a man whore.
"This is not one sided, Derek Shepherd. We are all flawed. So be a grown up. Stop acting like a child, both of you. I am done with your drama and your inability to realize that I am not the only one to be mad at. Now two lives have been lost from your misdirected anger and I am not about to let more be lost. We are surgeons. We save lives, not destroy them."
And with that, Meredith whipped around and left, feeling relieved to get that off her chest.
Then it hit her. She admitted she was in love with Mark.
After the scene on the catwalk, Meredith stayed low. She asked for more time in the skills lab from Bailey who reluctantly gave it to her. Now she realized her shift was over, she was supposed to go meet Mark. They had plans to go out for a drink before going to her house. Sitting with a sigh, Meredith stared at the clock in front of her. She sat watching the seconds tick by, so certain and sure. "Meredith?" Cristina's hesitant voice came from the door behind her. "What's going on?"
"Nothing" Meredith said quietly. Cristina came into her vision and leaned against the table, an eyebrow raised.
"You have locked yourself in here for the past two days," Cristina stated. "You lost two patients after working with McAss and his McWife. And I have heard your name whispered by nurses all day long." Meredith crossed her arms and gave Cristina a disapproving look. "Mer, are you upset over the patients?"
"Yes...no. Yes" Meredith stuttered.
"Well, of course you are upset, but that's not what this is about" Cristina analyzed. "Is it what happened with Derek today?"
"Kinda" Meredith admitted.
"Is it Mark?" Cristina asked. Meredith just nodded her head. "Oh come on, you are with him now. He's hot, the sex has to be hot. What's wrong?"
"I think I am in love with him" Meredith finally admitted, exasperated. "Here I was enjoying our relationship and then this morning as I was yelling at Derek, it just came out. All of sudden I said I was in love with him."
"Okay, big deal. You love him. He's a great guy" Cristina shrugged her shoulders.
"But…" Meredith began.
"Derek broke your heart. And Mark is rebuilding it. Or some sort of sentimental crap like that. There is no hope for you and McDreamy so move on. Isn't that what you have been telling Derek this whole time? To let go and move on."
Meredith was silent. She stared at Cristina and realized she was right. All this time Meredith was begging Derek to let her go when Meredith was also struggling to let him go. If she was in love with Mark, then she should be fully involved with him. She should try it.
"Thank you. I have to go" Meredith grabbed her lab coat and was on her way to go meet Mark. She raced through the hallways to go find him, to go home with him and to live a life with him.
Then she was stopped dead in her tracks.
Through the window of an exam room she saw a crying woman being held in the arms of tall, handsome man. It was Mark. He held this woman in his strong arms, gently rubbing her scrub topped back. The woman shifted so the red of her hair was visible. It was Addison.
Why was Addison being held by Mark?
Why was he whispering things in her ear?
Meredith stood frozen in that spot as she watched the two. She couldn't hear what was being said between them but she could see the despair on Addison's face and the concern in Mark's. Hurt flooded her heart as she saw Mark look down at Addison, as she looked up to him and touched her lips to his. He didn't pull away. Mark kissed her back, pulling Addison to him.
Meredith ran.
She ran down the hall.
She ran to the E.R. where are trauma was being wheeled in, the perfect distraction."I need an intern," the doctor yelled. Meredith ran to her side. "What's your name?"
"Grey. Meredith Grey" Meredith helped wheel the gurney into the trauma room.
"Callie Torres" the woman replied. "I'm the new ortho resident. Have you been on an ortho rotation before?"
"No, but I am a quick learner" Meredith reassured her.
"Good, you need to be ready to work hard" Callie took his leg. "Severe crushing in the right tib/fib. We need a portable x-ray in here stat." The two worked around the patient, stabilizing her and cleaning what wounds they could. After looking at the scan, Callie ordered an O.R. be ready for her. They would be inserting a rod into her lower leg and repairing the breaks in her femurs. "Ready for a long night, Grey?" Callie asked as they began to wheel the unconscious patient towards surgery.
"Yes" Meredith answered, ready to get engrossed into a long complicated surgery to take her mind off the kiss. "I need it," she said, taking her phone out of her pocket and turning it off. She saw a text from Mark asking where she was but she ignored it.
"Ignoring someone?" Callie asked, eyeing the phone.
"I suppose you could call it that" Meredith replied. Callie let out a small laugh.
"Save those emotions, Grey. You will need that in the O.R." Callie said with a smile.
Meredith rocked her surgery with Callie. They repaired the breaks and inserted the rods flawlessly. Meredith was starting to really like Callie and her badass attitude. Callie had told Meredith to feel confident in all her choices and whatever she saw with Mark and Addison, it was something she had to talk to Mark about. Now Meredith was on her way home. It was almost two o'clock in the morning and she was getting tired. The high of surgery was slowly wearing off and the draining day was getting to her. She changed quickly into her regular clothes, ready to get home and into bed before her next shift started. Driving home, Meredith tried to not think of the kiss. Then she pulled into her driveway only to find Mark sitting on her front steps. "Mark, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked, getting out of her car.
"Why were you ignoring me?" Mark looked up at her, his eyes tired as they met hers.
"Why did you kiss Addison?" Meredith countered, crossing her arms. He sighed, shaking his head.
"It was a mistake, Mer" Mark put his head in his hands. "I thought I wanted it but then when she kissed me all I could think of was that it wasn't you. Her lips…"
"I don't want to hear about her lips" Meredith stated, anger rising in her again. "Why were you with her in the first place?"
"She was upset over Derek's suspension and their marriage failing. She came to me because she knew she could count on me. I am her friend."
"If you want her, go ahead and be with her" Meredith stated, tiredness blinding her rationality.
"I don't want her. I want you but not if you are going to ignore me all night. You can't just disappear, Mer" Mark stood up, running his hand through his hair.
"I was in the O.R. Mark. I am not going to sacrifice my learning and my career to answer to you. You were busy with Addison so I went and was busy with surgery. I had a successful procedure and no patient died."
"I am not asking you to sacrifice anything, but just a short text saying what's going on would be nice. I was sitting here for hours waiting for you!"
"I never asked you to wait for me" Meredith said angrily. "You could have gone to your hotel room. I was in surgery. I don't want you to be staying up all night waiting for me and then getting angry at me for doing so!"
"We had plans Meredith" Mark raised his voice. "You broke our plans."
"Somehow I feel like this has nothing to do with us not getting a drink tonight" Meredith stated with resolve. Her tolerance to fight was low, all she wanted was to get to bed. "I don't have the attendings luxury of starting my day later. I have to be at the hospital at six and then be there all day. I can't keep fighting with you."
"Don't bring our positions into this," Mark crossed his arms, his eyebrows furrowed with anger.
"I am not" Meredith replied. "I just want to go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow."
"Fine" Mark moved to open the door.
"What are you doing?" Meredith asked as he started to enter her house. "You are not sleeping here tonight."
"So you are going to kick me out? It's the middle of the night!"
"And it's my house. I don't want to sleep with you tonight, Mark. I don't want to go to bed with you angry" Meredith tried to explain.
"Then don't go to bed with me at all," Mark huffed, turning to the driveway. He threw open his car door, slammed it shut and then sped away, leaving Meredith on the front steps.
"What did I just do?" Meredith asked herself as tears blurred her vision