A/N: Oh, an update already! How lovely.

Now read it.

Swim

"I swim for brighter days,

Despite the absence of sun,

Choking on saltwater.

I'm not giving in,

I swim…"

"Annie?" My mother's tentative voice called to me, pulling me out of my reverie. Both my parents had been through so much lately, not only with Nate's unexpected death, but now with my own downfall.

"I'm ready." I responded, slipping off the edge of the now-familiar hospital bed, my feet landing with a soft thud on the linoleum. I smiled, walking over to hug her meaningfully. "I love you Mom." I whispered into her ear when her arms wrapped around me.

"I know baby, I love you too. We all do. Don't hurt yourself anymore. Please." She pleaded with me, pulling back to look me in the eyes, her free hand brushing my long auburn hair back from my face.

I smiled at her sadly, trying to reassure her. "I promise you I won't. It was a mistake." I knew this simple promise wouldn't be enough. Not now. Time is the true test of any promise, the only way to earn trust back.

She smiled at me too, but it didn't reach her eyes. A hazel brown, perfect mirror to my own. She worried about me; there were faint wrinkles around the corners of those eyes to prove it. "Okay hun. I'm going to go get your father and finish the last of the paperwork, then you're out of here." She released me, and gave me quick kiss on the forehead before walking around the corner, throwing one worried glace over her shoulder. It was as if she though I might run.

I sighed. Trust would be harder to earn back than I had originally thought.

"You'll be fine." A deep, familiar voice assured me. I turned to him, a smile already lighting up my face.

"I wasn't actually worried about that. Though that's certainly something to think about."

Drew laughed lightly, the sound a bit strained as he left a calculable distance between us. I wanted so badly to close it with a kiss, my hands wrapped around his neck, my lips on his passionately. I saw the picture of it clearly in my head, but pushed it back. That would be a clear violation of the friendship-only rule. I sighed again.

He looked down, running his hand through his hair. "Come on." He stepped towards me, a hand outstretched. "It's for the better. I promise."

The boy could read my mind. I slipped my hand into his, looking at the way they fit together. "I know. "

I did know. I understood that-after Nate's death-I had needed someone stronger than myself to hold onto. Something to believe in. Adam had been that.

And look where that got me. In a hospital, on my way to a rehab clinic in Southern California.

I didn't want Drew to just be that. I felt that I really did like him, but I had to like me, and my life before I thought of adding anything-or anybody- else.

He pulled me into his chest gently, wrapping his strong arms around me. His faced buried into my hair, a sigh escaping his own lips. "That doesn't mean I'm not going to miss you like hell." He laughed without humor, shaking his head to the side slightly. "Because I am. I really am." He admitted.

My body reflexively leaned wholly into his chest, my ear close enough to hear his heart beating at a slow, steady pace. "I'm going to miss you too. Promise you'll call. Or write. Or whatever. I just can't get through this without you."

He simply nodded, then pulled back. "I promise. Of course." He brushed his fingers across my cheek once lightly, then laid his hand on the side of my face. I stared up at him, unsure of what came next. Any moment my parents would turn the corner and make this the end.

Drew sensed that too, his eyes flicked to the corner then back to mine. "Goodbye Annie. I'll think about you non-stop from the moment you leave my arms."

I felt tears well up in my eyes; this was only the first of what would be many goodbyes. His finger quickly brushed them aside as they began to spill over, my resolve crumbling with them. I couldn't do this. There was no way.

He shook his head at me, his green eyes reassuring. "Don't cry Annie. You can do this." He wrapped me once more into his arms, his own breathing heavy and labored. He rubbed my back slowly as realization hit me.

The question wasn't if I could do this, in fact it wasn't a question at all. It needed to be done. For my mom, my dad, Becca, Drew, and more than anyone: Nate. As my older brother, he had always wanted me to be happy. When Eric pulled my hair in the third grade and chased me everyday at lunch, he took care of it. When my first boyfriend, Luke, broke up with me in seventh grade, he sat beside me while I cried irrationally over what I thought was lost love. And every single time Becca and I got into fights he talked me through it, leading me in the right direction. He never left my side. Even as he began his own downward spiral, he tried to hold me up. On the rare occasions that he hurt my feelings, he would leave notes on my bedroom door in the middle of the night, apologizing.

I couldn't let everything he had done for me go to pieces. Wherever he might be, if he's anywhere at all, I hoped he was happy. And I knew he'd be hoping the same for me.

I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath as I steadied myself. "I can. And I will Drew. That's my promise. Okay?" I looked up at him, a faint smile tugging at my lips as my eyes traced his face, each individual feature, committing them to memory.

He nodded once then stepped back from me reluctantly. "Okay." He swallowed, watching me closely before we were finally interrupted.

"Annie-" My father's deep voice came from around the corner. "Oh. And you must be the intern the doctor mentioned. Thank you so much for caring for our daughter." He said genuinely, reaching out to shake Drew's hand firmly. "We owe you deeply."

Drew shook his hand and smiled professionally. "It was my pleasure. I sincerely hope that all goes well with her recovery." His eyes flickered to mine as a secret smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. He honestly meant the words so much more than he conveyed.

"Alrighty Annie, Mom's in the car, ready to go. Shall we?" He motioned to the front doors of the hospital, a smile that didn't reach his eyes growing on his face. My father didn't show emotion the way my mom did. He held the family together in the worst times, being our rock. But I knew it had affected him. After Nate's death his hair had lost some of its luster, and now there were a few grey hairs in places that were previously brown.

I nodded, trying a smile for him too. As my dad began to walk I paused, looking back. "Bye Drew." I whispered, allowing my eyes to lock with his for one final moment- telling him everything that I had wished to- wordlessly, before I turned and walked from the hospital.

My father wrapped his arm around my shoulders as the crisp Boston spring air greeted us outside. "Don't worry Annie, I won't tell your mother about him yet. I like him though." He winked conspiratorially at me once as he popped open the car door, leaving me stunned, and quite a bit impressed.

A/N: Whew...so. I just realized that is ONE chapter left!!

Fuuuuuck.

I honestly....have no idea what to do. Should I write a sequel? Or no. You tell me.

In the review you were just about to write me. ;)