A/N: I hope you all are happy... -_- I spent HOURS of my day today writing this, having to give up a couple of things to do so. I hung up on one of my friends AND passed on watching a scary movie to finish this chapter! So, YOU BETTER REVIEW! ...hehe...
Anyways, next chapter everything goes to hell. But, if you stick with my story, things will get better! Believe me, no matter how bad or depressing my story is or will get, it will get better.
By the way, this is a Kyle/Kenny fic. It does have hints of Stan/Kyle also, but not much, so if some people don't fancy Stan/Kyle all too much, don't worry, it will only be a little.
I couldn't get my body to move the next morning. I knew that I needed to get up, but even if I pushed myself extremely hard, I couldn't even force myself up. For some reason, I couldn't even bring myself to care. I was just so tired...
For the next few minutes I slipped in and out of a fitful doze, sometimes waking up in cold sweat with no reason why, and other times just wide awaken but still unable to move. At the edge of my haze I could hear my family screaming at me to get out of bed, but not once did they come to actually wake me up or see if I was ok. After a while, they just gave up and left me alone.
You see, It's not as if I was sick or something, that's not why I couldn't budge from my spot. It was more like I wasn't really there, like I could feel my body and sense everything around me, yet I wasn't in controll of my own self. Strangly though, I think I was fine with that. I needed time away from school and... everything.
Most of my day was spent like that, in a daze between awake and asleep. The funny thing was though, at one point of the day, I just woke up. Just like that, it wasn't like a gradual waking up like usual, it just happened. All the blurriness that had captivated me before was completely gone.
Staring up at the ceiling, I slowly pulled my body into a sitting position. I winced when it popped in certain places, seeing how I was in one place for faaaar longer then a person normally should...
After my sore body got used to being up, I looked towards my clock to see what time it was. A tired moan escaped my mouth when I noticed that it was 1:30 p.m. I slept much more then I thought I had...
Getting up, I hobbled to my bathroom and began searching for the first aid kit. If I learned only one thing over these years, it would be to always clean your wounds everyday. If you didn't, it may get infected, and that death is almost worse then just death by the wound itself.
The bandages were slicked red with blood at one place, and I was almost afraid to pull them back. But I told myself to suck it up, and so I ripped off the bandages with a slight sucking noise. My fears were rewarded when I saw the sight of fresh blood and a bright pink around my wound. I started to feel a little sick, but I pushed myself on and cleaned around the gash carefully.
Once it was wiped down, I finally noticed how bad it really was. It wasn't like I was about to fall over and die spasticly, but it definitely was infected. That would also explain my weird incapability to get up today, and why I had been feeling out of it all day. I quickly put on some disinfectant and covered it up with a new roll of bandages.
I hobbled out of the bathroom and back into my room for a change of clothes. After that I teetered down the stairs, not wanting a repeat of yesterday, and slipped into the kitchen. A strange kind of shock filled me when I noticed how quiet the house was. I always thought that when I was at school my whole family was at home having fun, drinking all day and laughing in front of the TV. Yet not a soul was in sight. I couldn't shake that weird feeling, no matter how occupied I tried to make myself, first going on our families slow as shit computer and then attempting to play my PSP. But none of it worked.
With a sigh, I tossed my PSP to the side after I lost another battle in the game, and only on level 2! Something was really off, but I couldn't put my finger on it... I sat up and tried to think about what it was, but all I could think about was how noiseless it was. A small shiver escaped my body, and I limped slowly to the fridge for a beer. My eyes watered a bit as the burning drink went down, but I ignored it as I chugged the rest of it down. Maybe that would help me stop feeling so weird.
Though the alcohol worked for a while, I started to feel cooped up in my small house. I stole some money from my parents room in case I wanted something later, and pulled on a coat that was laying around. With a quick glance at the clock, which was glowing off the time of about two, I left the house, slamming the door behind me. Didn't bother to lock it, because besides alcohol and cigarettes, there wasn't one thing worth stealing.
Walking down the icy streets, I couldn't help but, if only for a moment, really enjoy life. Usually I'm always bitching on and on about how much it sucks, and I'm sorry that I do. Because there is a lot in life to look forward to, and some of them are even really small, like walking down slippery streets, getting little flakes of decorated snow in your hair as the world changes into a perfect winter scene in front of your eyes. Gusts of wind would send tufts of white flying into the air, flowing around and then landing softly like a blanket on the ground again, while pieces of ice fall from the sky shimmering brightly as the sun would shine out between breaks in the gray clouds in the sky. The air was frosty and cold, yet you couldn't help but like how the air felt frozen in your mouth, then left warm and hazy.
A light smile graced my lips as I continued on my walk across the town. I didn't really care where I was heading, I was just following my heart's instincts as I watched the world around me turn into something new. My feet took me down tons of streets and corners, walking past shops and buildings, yet I never had the erge to run inside and free myself from the cool winds.
Though it only felt like I had been wandering for a few minutes, I soon found myself standing outside the high school. All the happiness I had been feeling seemed to wisp away from me with the next burst of wind, and I only stared up at it in mild surprise. Who knew, that with all the drifting around I did, I would come right back to the place I ran from just the day before? Shaking my head, I began walking away when I heard my name being called over the wind. "Kenny?"
At first I thought I was going insane, and continued walking, but then I heard it being called again, even louder this time. I turned around slowly, and felt my heart dropping to my stomach when I saw who it was. How come, no matter how much I try to get away from this guy, he always found me? It was like he was my stalker... Or maybe Lady Luck was truly a bitch. He ran to me quickly, stopping about a arms length away.
"Kenny?" He asked again, as if I was a ghost or something. I snickered inwardly at that, but kept my face composed outwardly. "Yeah?" I coughed out in a croaky voice, my voice feeling a little numb from the cold. Kyle's green eyes narrowed slightly as he stared up at my face, and for a few seconds it was fine, but then it started feeling awkward. "Uhm..." I began, but he beat me to it.
"What are the hell are you doing here?" I flinched a bit at his tone of voice, but then forced myself to calm down. I tilted my head to the side in confusion as I responded. "What do you mean?" His eyes narrowed even more, almost in an alright glare. "I meanthat you weren't here at all today, but now you decide to show the fuck up?" Glancing to the side, half my brain was wondering if I could make a break for it while the other half was confused at his anger. "I was sick...", I whispered hoarsely, coughing again into my glove.
He threw his hands up in the air and rolled his eyes angrily. "OH, so your sick! And now your outside in the cold! You're a dipshit, Kenny! What if you get a fever or something!" He tittered on about my health, and I relaxed as I understood that I mistook his anger as concern. It still confused me why he wasn't really mad at me or at least disgusted because of what I did yesterday, yet I didn't really want to bring it up. So instead I directed the conversation towards him, to take the thought off of my mind. "Which reminds me... What are you doing out here Kyle?"
He didn't even freeze for a second, instead just flowing his words right on through. "My class got out a little early, and I dropped something out earlier... I found it just before you showed up, and- HEY! Don't try walking away from me!" He snagged the back of my coat and tugged me back into my spot. "Jeez, can't you be a little more gentle?" I wheezed, beginning to shudder from the cold. "When were you out here earlier anyways?" A look of panic flitted across his face, but was gone again in a moment. "No reason really. Woah, your shaking! Let's go inside, I have to get my stuff anyway."
I followed him numbly inside, blocking most of his babbling out. I was curious about why he had looked freaked out about that simple question, and I knew that I would have to ask him later. But for now, I didn't want to push him into a bad position, where he might get angry at me. I knew that I needed to bring up what happened though yesterday, because as much as I would love to dance around the subject, I needed to get it out of the way now, instead of it getting pulled out in an ugly situation later.
While Kyle was pulling his books out of his locker, I was still wondering how to bring it up in the best way possible. After a while though, I just decided to blindly shoot at it. "Uh... Kyle?" I asked slowly, trying to drag out time. He must of noticed my slow manner too, because he sent me a questioning look before responding. "Yeah?" He mumbled as he stuffed things into his black and green checkered backpack, his back facing me. "About yesterday..." His back tensed as he wanted for what I was going to say. "I'm sorry."
His voice bounced back at me a little muffled and completely empty of emotion. "What?" I gulped and let a string of words fly out of my mouth nervously, "I didn't mean to, and, um, can we please pretend that it never happened? I don't want things to get weird between us... Your my best friend, you know that?" I continued staring at the back of his coat, waiting for him to whip around and start yelling at me and telling me what a huge fag I was. Yet, he didn't do any of that. Instead, he straightened up and tossed his backpack over his shoulder before twisting around, most of his face being covered by his wavy bangs. "Ok. We can do that." He whispered, a smile forming on his lips in a tight line.
His smile looked off to me, but the fact that he forgave me so easily, made me overlook his strange attitude as we left the building. I felt relieved and bubbly, and prattled about random things to him, only dimly noticing how quiet he was being. We parted by his house, me smiling widely and him with his shiny green eyes duller then usually, but with a smile still on his face. So I didn't give it a second thought, but instead thought about how great the next day was going to be for all of us, and all the fun things that were going to happen.
If only I knew how stupid I really was back then...
The next morning I was up in two seconds flat after the alarm clock sounded. Kyle's forgiveness from yesterday was still pumping through my body, making me feel giddy and joyful. I was just so happy that he didn't hate me, that I couldn't help but have a mood that matched Butter's. I got ready for the day quickly, helped my mum make a small breakfast, and was actually out the door in time to make it to the bus. I even managed to have a decent conversation with Cartman for a while! This day was looking really looking great so far.
When Kyle and Stan marched on the bus, I could immediately tell something was wrong. Well, other then the whole cloud of awkward that followed the two of them together, the main reason was that Kyle didn't sit next to Stan on the bus. Everyone, including Cartman, was shocked to silence for a minute, until loud whispers broke out across the bus, filled with theories about why the two of them weren't sitting by each other like usual. Most of them were total bullshit, but when I started to prod Stan for information, he tried to punch me in the eye. Thank God he missed though, because that would have thrown a damper into my great mood. So I decided that Stan could screw himself, and I would ask Kyle about it at school later.
Sadly that plan didn't work, because when we pulled up to the school, I lost him in the crowd of people. I searched for a whole twenty minutes, but never even got a glimpse of him. Everyone I asked said they never saw him either. I was a bit pissed at that, but being the good little nerd he was, I knew that he wouldn't skip a class unless someone, like me, pushed him too. So I could always ask him in my first class.
Soon enough the bell rang and I shuffled into the class, and perked up immediately when I saw him sitting at his desk. "Kyle~!" He looked up blearily at me as I stole Bebe's chair and sat across from him. I widened my eyes and blinked at him innocently, but he only sighed and started messing with his work. "You know that you really suck at being inconspicuous, right Kenny?" I blinked once again, but this time only because I had no clue what he just said. I started to ask him about what had happened between him and Stan, but he smacked his hand over my mouth.
"Do you knowhow many people have asked me that already this morning? You would think that we were celebrities or something, the way people are acting." Curiosity was pricking at me though, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I licked his hand, and laughed when he pulled it back with a yelp. "But Kyle! Everyone wants to know! And you know, you two are kind of the celebrities of our school. You are always together, and now all of a sudden you aren't? I'm your second best friend, so you better tell me. Wait, am I your best friend now? Eh, anyways tell me!" I yelped on excitedly, ignoring Kyle's annoyed look. Of course though, the bell decided to ring right then. Kyle huffed as I continued to poke at him, until he snapped out, "All right! I'll tell you later! Just go to your seat so we don't get in trouble."
I retreated to my seat victorious, a wide grin spread out across my face. It stayed like that most of the class, until the teacher threatened to send me to the principle's office for being distracting. How could I help it if almost all the girls started swooning at my smile, and the teacher couldn't help but start staring? Nope, not my fault, but I knocked the smirk of my face anyways. The principle was a creepy pedophile who always touched my shoulders and 'accidently' slipping his hand on my chest or butt when I got sent to him.
To Kyle, 'later' must have meant way later in the day, because I didn't see him again until lunch. Sometimes I would get glimpses of him in the hallways, but the moment he noticed me he started to walk the other way. A frown started to take over my face instead of a grin, and my mood took a downwards spiral. Yet, at the same time I felt almost...happy, when I saw that Kyle and Stan weren't by each other. Is that weird or cruel? I mean, it's not like I want Kyle to be sad and alone, but... I really don't like Stan. At least that's what I think I'm feeling...
Lunch was like normal, if normal included only having three at a table instead of four, and one of those three being extremely quiet. I glanced at Kyle throughout lunch, and frowned at how lonely and small he looked. I hated him looking like that, especially because of Stan. I swear I'm gonna pound his face in after Kyle tells me what happened between them.
I began to leave after I finished eating, but Kyle grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty classroom somewhere in the hallway. "Kyle?" He shushed me and sat on a desk, gesturing me to do the same. I sat on the one facing him, my eyes not leaving his face for one moment. His eyes looked confused and lost, and I wanted to hug him and tell him that it would be ok... But there was just to many things wrong with doing that.
"You wanna know what happened between Stan and me, right?" Kyle whispered, lifting his eyes up to meet mine. I nodded quickly, curiosity returning in a wave. He nodded back slowly, and looked down at the floor before continuing. "Remember yesterday, when you asked me why I had been outside earlier that day?" He waited for me to nod, and after I did so he carried on. "Well... That was because of Stan. He... Um, well he kind of... asked me out..." The last of his sentence got softer until it was breaking off into a whisper. My heart froze in my chest, and my body seemed to lock up. "What?" I heard myself ask faintly, yet all I could hear was the hollow dead pounding of my heart in my ears.
His voice drifted into my head as if from far away, yet I knew that he was only right in front of me. "Well, yesterday he asked me to skip class with him, and I did, you know? I do all the time with him, I didn't think anything weird was gonna happen. He was being more quiet than usual, but I thought that he was just tired or something. But when we got out there... He... said that we should go out. He said that we wouldn't really be going out, but we would just... mess around like that, or something. I-I freaked out on him, a-and I was confused and scared. I mean, he was my best friend, yet I didn't even know that he w-was interested in guys like that! He said that he wasn't really gay or whatever, but he wanted to t-test things out. So, what am I then? A-A plaything?" He broke off in small sobs, and I slipt off my table and sat right next to him.
"Hey...Kyle, look at me." When he didn't turn I cupped a hand around his face and turned it towards me. Small tears were flowing from his eyes, and my heart was breaking at how lost he looked. I used my thumb to wipe away his tears, and pulled him into a little hug. "If you need to cry, just go ahead, I won't tell anyone." I whispered into his ear, and even though I couldn't hear him sobbing, I soon felt a wet spot on my shoulder and his back shaking slightly. I rubbed his back in small circles and hushed small words into his ears as he wept. Too soon though, he pulled back from me, and wiped the leftover tears from his eyes.
"I'm sorry Kenny... I couldn't hold it in anymore." I smiled lightly and rubbed his back one more time before hopping off the table and standing beside him. "It's ok, really. But... What are you going to do now?" I asked softly, hoping with all my heart for something that even I wasn't sure of. A muffled hysterical laugh broke out of his lips and he shook his head smiling before replying. "I'm not sure... But I think I'm going to give it a shot. Even he said that we wouldn't really be going out, so I can't get hurt. It'd be helping him too, so that would be good." My chest stung painfully, but I smiled tightly and nodded my head quickly, trying to keep tears from watering in my own eyes. He looked almost as happy as I did, and I wondered if he was feeling the same way I was.
A knock sounded on the door, and a voice echoed from behind it. "Kyle, are you in there?" Hearing Stan's voice only made me feel worse, but I pushed Kyle lightly towards the door. "Go." I whispered, only because I knew that if I talked louder my voice would break into a sob. He nodded slowly, his dark green eyes boring into mine as he stepped into the light of the door and into the arms of Stan, leaving me behind in the dark, eyes watering slightly.
Though I knew it was for the best, my heart still seemed to shatter as I watched him walk away from me.
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