Joshua's Sweet Isabella.
Chapter Eleven : And Then There Was One.
BPOV
Warmth. That's all I felt when morning woke me up, my eyes still closed as warm arms pulled me closer to their heat. A soft groan was washed through my hair in a hot breath. Burning kisses trailed down my exposed neck as wandering fingers pulled me even closer to the. A soft sigh escaped my parted lips as the man behind me rocked his hips over and over into my ass as he groaned and panted softly behind me. My smile pulled at my cheeks as said warm man turned me around the same time my eyes opened to see just how beautiful my Jared was. I bit my lip as he smiled a heart stopping smile that was meant all for me. His head bowed as he slowly lent in to place our lips together. This was my idea of heaven.
"How are you feeling today? I wasn't too rough last night, was I?" He breathed against our touching lips as I shook my head ever so slightly, not willing to lose contact between us.
"It ache's slightly, but it's okay. I don't know if it's my period cramps or because of last night. But it was perfect, thank you." I kissed him soundly again as he pulled me tighter.
"I think I should be the one thanking you. I love you." I blushed as he chuckled, not a loud obnoxious laugh, but one that was as peaceful as our warm setting. "Lets go down stairs and I'll make you something for breakfast." I nodded my head as he helped me out of his bed and into his embrace. I looked down and blushed when I saw the mess I had made of his bed. Burning cheeks scolded my skin as he looked at me with confusion.
"Um, I'll wash them. I'm sorry." I said so quiet, I barely heard me, let alone Jared. But he noticed the red stained bed sheet and knew what I was talking about and tilted my chin to look up at him.
"Not your fault, okay? I dressed you last night and I forgot, sorry. When everyone goes out for the day I'll put a load on." I bit my lip as he kissed the tip of my nose. I nodded as he led me to the bathroom to clean up and add the soiled trousers to the bed sheet and gave me some new clothes to wear of his moms as well as some sanitary towels that he had asked his mom for. I nearly died of embarrassment thinking Steph probably guessed I had made a mess.
If I thought I would die of embarrassment from my accident upstairs, it was nothing compared to all the knowing looks from the boys and our family as we walked downstairs. They were all in the kitchen, the tiny space cramped with huge bodies as we entered. I was half expecting them to have a 'congratulations' banner and party poppers, of course there weren't, thank God. Jared held me extra close to him, sensing my distress as the boys sniggered and whispered. I was panicking. Not even my dad was there.
It was irrational and stupid, but I couldn't deal with it. I ripped myself from Jared as I hurriedly ran upstairs once again and locked myself in his bathroom adjoined to his bedroom. Turning the shower on I stripped and crawled into the shower as I broke down. It was unreasonable, why did I need to cry over this? It wasn't as if they were calling me names for loosing my virginity to my soul mate, but everything was building up and the only person I wanted was my mom.
My knees gave out as I sat on the base of the shower and curled up so my knees were drawn to my chest and my head was on my knees with my arms wrapped around me securely. My mom would know what to say. Help me through this passage way of womanhood. I doubt it was just loosing my virginity that had pushed me into this tearful outlet, but everything had been building up, stacking everything up until I couldn't hold it all in anymore and let everything out.
There was knocking, but I ignored it. There were shouts, but I ignored it. There were more people at the door, worried about me, but I ignored it, I ignored it all. Eventually the water ran cold, but my body found refuge in actually feeling something other than the emotions behind the tears. There was a sharp voice that shouted, but I couldn't hear what they said. A loud snapping and clinking of metal falling to the floor sounded next as footsteps ran towards the bathroom. It could have been anyone, but I sat naked, scared and crying as they broke down the bathroom door too. My body didn't respond. I sat and tried to work it all out in my head, tried to think of what my mother would tell me about this mile stone in my life. Not seeing her down stairs with the crowd of my family just hurt, she was the only one I was looking for and, of course, she wasn't there.
She'd never be there. Not when me and Jared started making a family, or when we get married or my birthdays and Christmas. My mom was gone and she simply wouldn't be here any more.
Warmth. It's all I felt as the person sat behind me, turned the water off and wrapped me up with his heat as he pulled me into him and let me cry on him as he sat confused and scared of my tears, but staying strong enough to hold me and comfort me, blind to reason, but he stayed. When the realisation of just how gone my mother was, I found refuge in Jared's hold. Clinging to him as I sobbed. His scent helped, but it wasn't his I needed, but I'd never get that scent now, it was gone, forever. Gone.
"Baby, you have to tell me what's wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone say something to upset you?" He was shaking slightly as I shook my head. "Let's get you warm, okay?" I nodded, even though I was fine, my body wouldn't get sick from sitting under cold water. The only thing that warmed me was Jared and he was already there. But even if he was there, right now he wasn't my mom and to me that was simply unfair. I was hurting Jared by my stupid break down and all I could think of was wanting someone else and not him to hold me.
"I…I'mmm…s….sss…sssorrrryyyy." I stuttered as he rubbed my body to get warmth back into me.
"What for?" He murmured as he picked me up and cradled me to his chest as he found a towel and wrapped it around me before walking me into his room, with my clothes from the bathroom floor clenched in his hand.
"Because I can't get over her." I whimpered as he tenderly re dressed me and towel dried my hair.
"Who, baby?" Although his voice had a knowing tint to it.
"My mom." I cried. "She should be here to tell me what to do, how to feel. She should be here to ease my worries after I tell her my fears. I want her advice on last night, if I felt everything I was meant to, if I pleased you well enough, to tell me what to expect next. But she's not here and I'm so lost. When I went downstairs and saw the crowd of people, she was the only face I wanted and she just wasn't there!" I wailed as he let me cry on him as he hushed me and murmured sweet, reassuring words in my hair as I clutched on to him for dear life.
"No one can bring your mom back, Bella. But you have others who are willing to help you, to listen to you. I know it wont be the same as your mom, but you have other women and men who love you and want to see you happy. If your worried about last night, talk to me. I'm not a girl and I don't know how you feel, but I know what Kim went through and maybe that advice could help. If not me, what about your dad, or Leah and Sue? Even my mom would love to help you. Don't think your alone, because your not."
As much sense as it made to seek out others to help sort me out mentally, I only trusted Jared with our intimacy. I didn't want to sound stupid asking others for help with my sex life and how I should feel. I knew in a hidden place inside of me, that it was normal to feel all of this about my mom. Because this was the first 'big' thing to happen in my female life that she had missed.
"You wont lie to me, will you?" I whimpered as his hold loosened and he stepped back to look into my eyes.
"I will never lie to you, ever. If this helps you, then I'll answer anything you need." I nodded as I sighed.
"I didn't… last night I never came, that's normal right?" I hesitated as he smiled softly and nodded. "I was so scared I hurt your feelings by not having an orgasm, I thought I let you down." I admitted as he smiled softly and shook his head.
"You could never let me down. Usually females don't orgasm on the first few times they have sex, because they still adjust to the pain to turn into pleasure, so don't worry if you don't come. I'll always make sure to finish you off, like last night." I nodded.
"Is that why you went down on me? I though it was you proving to yourself you could still make me come, even if it wasn't by your cock." I blushed heavy as he chuckled.
"No. I knew it would hurt you and I didn't expect you to come, but I didn't want to take your virginity and give nothing back. Of course we gained something, but I just didn't want to pleasure myself from your first time and not let you orgasm too." He kissed my forehead and hugged me tighter. He was so wonderful. How many boyfriends or sexual partners would think like that? I was so lucky.
"I'm so lucky to have you." I said, looking straight into his eyes as he rolled his eyes.
"I'm the lucky one." His face turned a little more serious as he pulled out of our embrace a little. "Is there anything else you need to ask?" I bit my lip and nodded as he urged me to continue and ask him.
"Last night…" I blushed ten fold as he pried my chin up to stop me from looking at the ground. "Did you.. I mean, did we use a condom?" I asked. I hadn't felt him leave my embrace last night to place a condom on his solid member and my mother always told me to have protected sex.
"Urm, no." He blushed guiltily as he hung his head slightly. "I knew you were on the pill, so I didn't think of it. I was too lost in the moment, but if you want me to start using them, I will." I bit my lower lip and thought of it, but why should we spend wasteful money on condoms when I'm already on the pill? I shook my head and his eyes lit up with fire as I smiled. "Thank you, I love the idea of my come in your body." He purred as I giggled and slapped his touchy feely hands away.
"When can we try again?" I asked as he laughed a belly hurting laugh as he pulled me tight to him and kissed me all over my face.
"Is that something you would ask your mother?" He teased as my eyes widened and I stammered, "I'm teasing baby. We can try when you want to, but not for a while, you need to heal from last night." I nodded.
"When does it stop hurting?" I asked as he combed through my hair with his fingers and rubbed light circles into my hip.
"My only experience is Kim, she didn't stop hurting completely until after our fourth go, but I know from the packs minds that some of the girls were less and some longer to adjust to the intrusion." I nodded thoughtfully.
"Kim was your first?" He nodded with a blank facial expression. "If I ask you something, would you be really honest with me?" He nodded, but his face remained unreadable. "If werewolves didn't exist, but everything still went the same way, like me coming back. Would you still be with me or would you have stayed with Kim?" His face turned into a tortured expression, of course I knew his answer, but I was a glutton for punishment.
"Honestly?" He asked slowly whilst thinking about his answer, I nodded. "I think I would have been with Kim. But even without the imprint ability, I still think I would have found myself being with you. You really do complete me in ways Kim never did, even when we were human. So, I think I may have had a longer relationship with Kim, but I would have ended up falling, just as hard as I have now, in love with you." I was shocked, I really didn't expect that answer. I expected him to say Kim, because nothing would have pulled me to him. "You are my soul mate and I would have to be blind, even as a human, to ignore the pull you have over my heart." I cried, because that was the most sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I loved him and I knew he was really in this with me.
"I love you." I cried softly as he chuckled.
"I love you more." He teased as I snorted a laugh, very lady like, but Jared just laughed harder and it was worth my blush.
It took a few hours alone with Jared for me to build up the strength to face everyone again and walk downstairs, but instead of leading me to them straight away he froze. He growled. He protected me. As he crouched a little lower and pulled me behind him, I breathed in deeply to smell what he had smelt, Jose. I wanted to run back upstairs, I wanted to flaunt my now claimed body in front of his face, but most of all I wanted to bitch slap him so hard for intruding on my time when I was still grieving.
"Bella and Jared are currently preoccupied, is there something we can help you with Jose?" I was angry that he was back in this house after yesterday. What was he playing at? Gillie didn't sound too happy either as he spoke roughly to him in his kitchen.
"I just have a small gift for them." His voice was full of humour and it made me sick. "I have no qualms with sharing it with you also, would you like to see it?" He taunted them in his alluring voice.
"No. If you leave it here, we can pass it along." Gillie was still pissed as me and Jared remained hiding and listening in.
"If you watch it, I'll leave. I spent a lot of effort on this. Please." He purred at the end of his sentence as Gillie gave in and grunted. "I'm sure Jared and Isabella with be appreciative of it." He snickered, he was up to something and it was fucking wrong. Warning bells were practically deafening me as the door opened. Me and Jared straightened up as Jared pulled me tight to his body. Jose was there and smirking once he saw us. "Just in time for the show. I made you something."
"Keep it." I snarled as he ran his index finger down my cheek which I flinched away from and Jared to snap at him.
"I'll leave once you watch my tape." He growled and I smiled.
"Your tape?" I asked as he nodded. My brain was in over load, a tape, what the hell could be on his tape? We all sat in the lounge with the TV on and the tape slotted inside the machine as a grey fuzzy screen appeared. "Well as interesting as this is, please leave." I persisted as he shook his head in amusement. Jared pulled me to sit on his lap and help me there securely.
"It takes a minute, but it will be worth it."
"No take it out." I growled. "Something is going to be on this tape and it's going to upset us. You're an evil cunt Jose. Just take your fucking tape and get out. We're leaving tonight as it is." He growled at me before Jared growled at him. Then as everyone growled at everyone else, one voice stood out.
"Oh God." Steph. Jared's mom had been interested in the tape, hell we all were, but I knew it was bad news, Jose was an evil ass hat who only wanted others misfortune. Steph stared wide eyed at the television and then over at me and Jared.
I looked over to the screen and nearly vomited on Jared's lap. Instead I pulled myself from his grip and stared like I couldn't look away. I had to see this, because to be honest this was going to be my death. I looked at Jared with wide eyes as he pulled me to him and held me there whilst I cried. Sam was right next to me and pulling me from Jared as we both cried. On the screen showed my dad. My loving, soft hearted father in bloody pieces. Literally. Jose's pack were attacking him, whilst videoing my fathers slow, torturous death as wolves slowly tore at him in his wolf form, but when he knew the end was near he phased back.
"I love my sweet Isabella and Samuel. Please fulfil your lives and be happy. I love you both. Your mom is calling me baby girl. Always remember I love you."
And just like that, he was gone too.
My only thought was; How did a warm morning end in a bitter, cold night?
"You've started a war." Sam whispered. "YOU'VE STARTED A FUCKIGN WAR! YOU FUCKING EVIL DEVILSPAWN. I WILL KILL YOU AND I WILL AVENGE MY FATEHR'S DEATH. YOU ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" Sam screamed at him as Jared quickly pulled me off of him, just in time for Sam to throw his body at Jose and phase right on top of his struggling human body. Everyone had cowered away from them as I watched fearfully of Sam's life. I couldn't left alone, Sam was all I had now.
And with that I pushed Jared off of me and phased to help Sam kill the monster who killed my father.