A/N: I'm a little uncertain about the ratings for this fic. I marked it T again because there are no specific descriptions here, but again – this is a sexual assault fic and it might be hard to read, so heads up! I struggled with this chapter, not sure why. I thought I had it all written down in my head but found myself in search of words. I'm sorry for updating so late, I planned on posting sooner, but this week really killed me. I will be fast-forwarding the timing of this fic beginning next chapter, I think. Okay, enough talking. Hope you'll enjoy this! As always – tell me what you think!
Air Force One, December 19th, 2015, 06:45
"Henry" she called. She awoke in a startle, scanning the area around her.
"What is it babe?" he asked, standing and meeting her eyes.
"Who is flying the plane? If you're here, who is flying the plane?" she asked, panic in her voice.
"Sweetie, we're on Air Force One. Colonel Mathews is flying the plane".
"Henry he doesn't know. You have to tell him. He doesn't know". Her voice was trembling, breaking. Her breath was heaving.
"Tell him what? Baby, what's wrong?"
"Someone is trying to take down the plane. We're off track Henry. Please. Go tell him".
Henry sighed. He suddenly realized he was getting a glimpse of the minutes she realized someone has taken over her plane. He gave her his iPad, showing the course of the plane. "We're on track. We already got the person who took over your plane. You're safe now. You are".
Her eyes welled with tears as she realized she wasn't making sense. "I'm sorry" she whispered.
"No, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Go back to sleep baby. We'll be home soon".
She nodded, closing her eyes again. Taking his chair next to her again, he let out a breath. He wondered how many more of these re-occurring memories were going to haunt her. How many of them could he quiet down. If only he could take these memories away from her. He would've given anything to do it.
The ride home from Andrews Field, December 19th, 2015, 10:30
"Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"The kids… They're going to hug you when we get home. Do you want me to talk to them?" he asked.
"Henry… They're my babies" she said, her voice breaking. "It's bad enough… It's bad enough I'm coming home in an ambulance, that you're going to wheel me into the house… I… They're my babies".
"Okay. Okay" he nodded. He understood that no matter how uncomfortable their hugs might make her feel, she wasn't going to let Vladimir take this away from her. Not when he had already taken so much.
"Are you going to tell them?" he asked.
"I don't want to" she said, wiping a tear that slid down her face.
"You don't have to. It's okay" he said, smiling. "Do you want to tell me why?"
"They don't need to know this about their mother. It's too much".
He nodded. He wasn't sure himself if they should know or not. He knew they'd want to know. He knew they'd ask questions. But he also knew how much it has taken from him – knowing. He could only imagine what it would do to their children.
"You think I should tell them" she whispered.
"No, I honestly don't know myself. I think you should do what feels right for you. And if you feel like it's too much, then don't tell them. I will manage their questions".
"Henry… I love you… So so much".
With watery eyes he smiled at her, squeezing her hand. She hasn't said that since she left for Kiev. It's not that he thought she stopped loving him, but it was so good to hear her say that. It felt like them for just a glimpse of a moment. It felt like nothing could tear them apart.
McCord Residence, December 19th, 2015, 11:30
She was finally home.
She was finally home with her family. Back at the hospital Henry realized the house was not suitable for her. He used the little time he spent away from her bedside to arrange everything so she'll be as comfortable as possible when she returned home. With the help of Isabelle and his kids, their TV room was turned into a bedroom, making sure everything felt familiar; making sure she would feel at home. That room didn't have a door, but Henry thought it might be for the best. She needed to feel like she can get out if she needed to. He arranged for a stairs lift that would carry her to their bathroom, and made sure to have a second wheelchair upstairs. Alison placed Elizabeth's nightstand next to her new bed, decorating it with pictures of them as a family. She placed her perfume and hand cream, adding a scented candle, just to make it feel more like home.
He rolled her into her new room and she turned her head to him, smiling. "Welcome home babe" he said, smiling too.
Their kids ran into down the stairs and into the room, running into her embrace, wrapping their arms around her. She closed her eyes, swallowing her tears. She reminded herself they were her children, her babies. She breathed Alison's hair, that familiar scent of her shampoo; she smiled as Jason kissed her cheek; she relaxed when Stevie wrapped her arms around her neck, gentle yet loving. Stevie kissed her hair, whispering in her ear "it's good to have you back".
McCord Residence, December 19th, 2015, 23:04
She was lying in this new bed, in this new room. She was alone. She forced Henry to sleep in their own bedroom, refusing to let him sleep on the floor next to her. He begged and pleaded but she said that if she needed anything – she would call him. She fell asleep the minute she entered the bed, only to wake up with a nightmare. It wasn't anything in particular – she dreamt of running and running with no destination. She felt as if someone was chasing her, although she was all alone. Her legs were getting tired and she eventually fell to the ground. She didn't realize she was sobbing. Her pillow wet from her tears.
"Mom" Stevie whispered, standing next to her.
Elizabeth turned slowly, meeting her daughter's eyes. She wiped her tears, offering a smile she knew would never convince Stevie. "Hey sweetie".
Stevie moved to sit on the bed next to her mom, a worried look on her face. "Mom, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"
"No, no. I'm okay".
"Why are you crying then?"
Elizabeth sighed, wiping another tear. "I don't want to talk about it" she said. She hoped Stevie would understand. She hoped she didn't hurt her feelings.
Stevie nodded. "Is it okay if I sit here with you for a while?" she asked, taking Elizabeth's hand in hers.
"That would be great".
They sat together in silence. Elizabeth was trying to make her tears stop. She was mad that she let Stevie see her like this; that she was unable to control her emotions. "Does it have something to do with the fact that Dad's sleeping upstairs?" Stevie finally asked. She didn't want to pressure her mother. But she felt like maybe, if she asked all the right questions, she could get her to open up and maybe, just maybe, she could make her feel better.
Elizabeth chuckled. "What did he say to you?"
"He didn't have to say anything. He had that defeated look on his face, like he had lost an argument he knew he didn't stand a chance in" Stevie answered, smiling.
Elizabeth nodded. "Yes" she answered.
"And I guess it also has something to do with how cautious he is around you?"
"It's that notable, huh?"
"Mom. You two can't keep your hands off of each other. I swear sometimes it's just gross. He hasn't touched you once since you got home. Not to mention kissing you".
Elizabeth sighed. She knew this could happen, that her children will notice how distant she was from Henry. They weren't stupid; and Stevie was right – they grew up to have their parents constantly touching each other, always showing affection for each other. "Go ahead, ask" Elizabeth said.
"No. You said you don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to force you".
"The answer is yes" Elizabeth said, her voice so quiet Stevie barely heard her.
Stevie's eyes darkened, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. She didn't want to be right. She didn't want this crazy thought in her head to be the truth. She hoped her mom would explain that they had some sort of stupid fight about the risks her mom took, or about how she left, knowing. But deep down, she knew. Her parents fought, it's not like they always agreed on everything. But they had a well-known rule – they never, ever, spent the night apart. No matter how mad they were at each other. Stevie remembered when once, when she was 12, she heard her mom talking to Isabelle and Juliet, telling them about a fight she had the night before with Henry. Juliet asked her how was she able to spend the night next to him after such a fight and Elizabeth just smiled and said "we may not agree on many things, but we agree on one thing – we are in this to stay; and fighting doesn't mean we no longer love each other". Even at 12, Stevie realized just how special her parents' marriage was. Even at 12 Stevie realized this is the kind of marriage she would want to have someday.
"I didn't want you to know" Elizabeth said, meeting Stevie's eyes, resting her other hand on top of hers.
"Why?"
"Because I can see how much it's taken from your father. And I didn't want you to feel this way. I didn't want you to have to even think about it; that something like that could happen to me".
"Mom, 1 in 4 – those are the statistics. You know them. You told me about them. When I went to Lovell you sat down and talked to me. You told me I'm probably going to hear about how I should look out for myself, how I should lock my room, not drink at parties, stuff like that. And then you said that 1 in 4 women experience some sort of sexual assault in their life and that while all the "don't do's" might be helpful, sexual assault can happen anywhere, at any time and to anyone. And most times it someone you know. You told me I should be careful, but not afraid, and that whatever I do – it's never an invite for forced sex. It's not a "yes" unless I say yes".
Elizabeth sighed. "I was secretly believing that since I'm happily married to a man that would never do something like that, and since I was well trained and lately always surrounded by an army of bodyguards, that this will not happen to me. Besides, if I can't protect myself, how will I ever be able to protect you?"
"Alison and I aren't babies anymore. I know you want to protect us, but you can't. It's not your fault there are monsters in this world".
"No, but I'll be damned if I don't do everything I can to make sure they never lay a finger on you".
Stevie smiled. She kissed her mom's cheek, wiping her tears. "You're the coolest mom in the world, just so you know".
McCord Residence, December 20th, 2015, 05:37
She awoke to the morning light. Slowly turning in her bed, she found Henry lying on scattered pillows on the floor. She sighed, smiling. "Henry" she whispered and he opened his eyes. "Come to bed" she said, moving to make room for him.
He stood, smiling. "No. It's okay. I just couldn't sleep without you near me. I don't mind sleeping on the floor".
"I mind. We never sleep apart".
"Elizabeth… There are special circumstances. It's okay".
"No" she said, shaking her head. "No special circumstances. We can share a bed. We should share a bed".
"Baby… Won't it be too much?" he asked.
"It might. But I'll get over it. Just… Just lie next to me. And hold my hand".
He nodded, climbing to the bed. He lied on his side, facing her. He took her hands in his, resting them on the matters between them. He smiled. Smiling back, she closed her eyes, letting herself drift back to sleep.
A/N: Just wanted to say – I'm having my days with Stevie – sometimes I can't stand her and sometimes I think she's brilliant. I was thinking of going with Alison for the mother-daughter scene, but those last few episodes with Stevie – she seems more mature. And she felt like a right choice, maybe because of everything they've been through.