Chapter 10
The Secret Garden
"Dad, are you doing anything today?" I asked looking up hopefully from the pan I was drying. Michonne and Carl had already gone to their jobs for the day, leaving the two of us behind to clean the dishes. His wounds were still clearing up, but he looked better.

"Well there were a few things I was planning to get finished, sweetie." He announced. "Why?"

"Nothing…" I sighed. "I just wanted to spend the day together."

A gentle smile graced his features as he looked at me. "Maybe I could put it off for one more day."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's been a while since we had a father daughter day. Did you have something in mind?"

"Could we go outside of the wall today?"

He looked uneasy by the idea and it was quite obvious he did not like that idea. Anything was bound to happen outside the safety of our wall. He knew only too well how a simple supply run could turn deadly in a matter of moments.

I tried to be the voice of reason for him as he stared at me with growing worry. "Dad, I can't stay grounded and locked up behind the walls for my whole life. If I'm with you I'll be safe. We won't go far and if we see walkers we can turn right around."

He seemed to be debating it carefully before he finally sighed. "Alright. We can go out today. One hour and then back home."

Before we had gone in the woods, my dad stopped to give me something. It had been meant as a birthday present but he withheld it when he found out what I had done.

"If we're going in there it's as good a time as any to give it to you now." He announced, putting it in my hands.

I unwrapped the paper to find a brand new slingshot, a holster and a pouch of pellets. After he had found out what I'd done he assumed I may have taken it as a message to disregard my punishment and go out of the walls anyways.

It was a beautiful gift and I was floored to receive it. I had been going about carrying my slingshot in nothing but my pocket while I stuffed smooth river rocks in my other one, but this polished one made it look like I meant business.

It was the best present I'd gotten.

"Thank you so much!" I announced, throwing my arms around him. "It was worth the wait."

"I'll want to make sure it works out alright." He told me, rubbing my back.

The old self-made slingshot proved no match for a specially crafted one and my skill was even better with a proper weapon. I killed two rabbits from twenty yards away and wounded a turkey. Dad looked impressed by it all and asked how I got so skilled.

"Practice." I announced. Dad had seen me plenty of times around town firing away at empty cans and other targets. Any time I wasn't in the woods, being tutored, or doing chores I was practicing. Daryl was the one to give me my first slingshot ever.

"You practice a lot?" My dad asked, bringing me back to the present.

"As often as I can."

"Bet that comes in handy, doesn't it, Elf?"

My back stiffened and I finished tying the knot around the ankles of the dead animals. Even though I knew he knew the truth it still took me off guard when he called me by that name.

"When did you figure it out?" I asked as we stood to walk down a path. My dad took the animals from me and carried them.

"It took a while but I caught on eventually."

"And it wasn't because Negan told you?"

"He gave you away but didn't tell me directly. I started to figure some things out when he asked about you."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Michonne and I have talked about it."

"How 'bout Carl?"

"You know Carl," Dad sighed. "He doesn't talk very much so I can't be all too certain sometimes."

"You're taking it surprisingly well." I said kicking a rock and watching it skid across our path.

"Well it's been what—three years since we first knew about the elf and in all that time you've somehow managed to handle yourself without disappearing without a trace or returning with life-threatening wounds. I'm not sure how you've done it but I think we could all use a lesson from you. In fact, where did you get those medicinal supplies? Where did you find all of it?"

There was nothing I could say. There was too much to explain and it would take time for him to understand. I took his hand by that, holding it carefully as we walked.

"Dad… I know you said just an hour today, but there's something I want to show you and I don't think an hour is going to be enough."

When we reached the shrine, his reaction towards it was much the way Enid's had been the first time. The mist lingered over it just as it'd done that day as well, creating the image of a haunted cemetery.

Dad hesitated but I took his hand and led him into the stone crowd. He wouldn't have gone in otherwise. The statues scared even my father, who had seen so much horror in his life it was amazing that anything would surprise him these days.

We crossed the stone bridge and I jumped down into the hidden boat before he realized there was something to catch me going into the water. I urged him in and he jumped clumsily aboard then sat while I pulled the rope to move us.

The runes stones passed us as we drifted and then my father caught sight of the frozen dead reaching out of the waters.

"Judith…"

"Don't worry," I told him, "we're almost there. This is just to scare outsiders away."

The fog only began dissipated once we reached the shore and even then it was still fairly thick. As we walked up the path though, it thinned out, revealing the beautiful place I'd been banned from visiting for an entire month. I looked up to watch my dad's expression and when he looked around he was in awe.

I watched his eyes slowly begin to take it all in; the flowers, the statues, the stone ruins of the cathedral, the spring ponds, and the witch's cottage.

"Judith, where are we?"

"A secret garden." I told him, gripping my hands behind my back as we both looked at it. "I come here to get away and to make things that'll help everyone."

"You made that stuff?"

I shrugged. "Well I had some help from Enid and… someone else."

And before I could stop myself I began to tell and show him everything. We went inside and I flipped through the books of herbal plants, remedies, soaps, lotions, teas, and salves. I even showed him the spell books I had poured over, trying several to test the results of them. Most weren't that effective but the protection and sweet dream spells had relatively promising results. He didn't laugh or scoff or shut me down like I partially expected him to. He listened, interrupting only to ask me the occasional question.

Then I showed him the property, the length of the island, its features and the flowing springs that bubbled out of it, the garden, which was a little unkempt since it'd been so long since I was there. If it weren't for Enid's help it would have been entirely overgrown.

And then I showed him Vanessa's grave.

He along with everyone knew I occasionally saw our dead friends sometimes. The witch though… it was another story entirely.

"And she's taught me all about plants from the wild that can be eaten." I told him. "It's just a little hard to remember which ones. They're so tricky. One small slip up and it's curtains! Usually I have to check a few times with a book, and she can get mad if I don't memorize them right. She says I won't always have the book and I need to remember on my own."

"Was she turned when you found her body?"

"Yes."

He looked worried, but steadied once it occurred to him that I hadn't been harmed if it meant I was standing in front of him now. "How did you kill her?"

"There's a revolver upstairs. I used that to shoot her. It took three tries till I got her in the cheek."

"Not bad…" he said. "Was she coming after you?"

I shook my head. "She always teaches me something new, but the first time was the hardest. When I came back over the next few weeks she showed me how to set snares. Most of the animals died before we got there but when we found a rabbit alive once, I had to break its neck and… and it was terrible. I mean I knew I had to do it because that's how we eat and that's how we live, but that… I still hated it." I could hear the words as I was telling him about this and I could barely believe myself. My hand slapped my face and I groaned in self-disgust.

"I'm sorry I'm whining about that. I've no right to say things like that to you, of all people in the world."

"Judith, you're my daughter. You have every right to come to me with those problems, and I'm supposed to help you through them like I'm supposed to."

"…No, I don't." I said firmly, studying a spider between two garden decorations as it trapped a fly in its web. "I don't need to pile up my problems onto you when you've got bigger things to worry about. I'm not dumb. I'm just a kid and no one expects anything from me right now. But you've got the whole town to worry about and everything just keeps piling up, and it's just not fair for you."

With those words he bent down to my level and looked me in the eye. "Judith, everything that I've done, I've done for you and Carl. I've protected you, guided you, and taught you the best that I am able to do. If you only have to worry about killing rabbits to feed our people, the people you love, that's an enormous relief to me. Because it means I'm doing my job right."

My eyes watered when he said that, but I held them back, promising not to cry in front of him.

"Can you tell me one thing though?"

"What?"

"When did you get to be so grown up?" He actually smiled just then and looked around at the green growing land. "Seeing this place, and seeing all you've done to contribute to our people… I think it's the first sign I've had telling me that I'm doing something right for once."

Sometime around noon we took a seat on the flowery grass and just talked, or rather I mostly talked. I told him about all the places I had found for foraging, my favorite fishing sights, snaring paths, the best weeds to use for medicine, and all the statues I had named while on the island. It seemed like I talked on and on. Dad didn't say much, just listened intently holding a soft smile as he looked down at me. I wasn't sure if I had bored him or not but he eventually spread out over the grass and closed his eyes.

"Go ahead and keep talking," He murmured. "I'm listening. I'm just resting my eyes for a moment."

He listened patiently as I kept on and after a while I looked back to see the steady rise and fall of his chest and knew he really was asleep this time. I wondered if it would do any good to keep talking and decided to just lie back, making myself comfortable in the crook of his arm.

It was a rare occasion when my father truly felt relaxed and maybe for that small moment he even felt safe. As long as he was with me, we at least wouldn't need to worry about walkers. He could count on me to keep all of them away.

At least those monsters I could protect him from.

Out of nowhere, I felt something jolt right out from under me. The solid warm pillow my head had been resting on was tugged right out from under my head and left me to smack back down on the less soft mound of grass. I looked around blearily, wondering what had happened.

I had just been in the middle of a pretty spectacular dream about a rainbow jellyfish in a sea of golden water that bubbled like campaign.

When I caught sight of the thing that had roused me I saw my father, sitting straight up and panting heavily.

A nightmare; I'd recognized one of his anywhere. It seemed that not even this place could keep his demons at bay for very long.

He held his chest as he tried to settle his frantic heart.

"Dad?"

He turned, as if realizing I was there for the first time.

"Judith, where…?" His eyes drifted around, taking in the sight of the strange place. He had forgotten where he was as he had slept.

"We're on the island," I explained carefully, "remember?"

"I—I thought for a moment… it had only been a dream at first, and then..." He trailed off looking around as he wiped the sweat off of his brow.

I sat up, sitting cross-legged and yawned. "No it's real. It wasn't a dream."

He still didn't look convinced though.

"No one was here a moment ago, were they?"

Now I understood what his dream may have been about. Had he thought a walker was standing over us, or Negan had arrived from out of nowhere? I shook my head, wiping the crust from my eyes. "No, it's just us. Pretty sure it's just us, at least."

He breathed in relief once more and finally settled back.

"Do you need to talk about it?" I asked.

"No, I'll be fine."

I didn't press; if he wanted to talk he would talk. Instead I looked around at the flowers that grew around us. "The poppies make people sleepy." I said, lying down and resting my head in the crook of his arm once more.

"Yeah, I knew they did that." He breathed deep, closing his eyes as he let the smells of the garden fill him. "This is a wonderful place, Judith. I can tell already, it's good and protected."

"Yeah."

"If you're okay with it, I'd like to keep it as secret as we possibly can."

"That's what I was hoping you'd say." Then I looked up at him, brows lowering in concern. "I want you to trust me again, Dad. I want to not be grounded anymore so I can do my job. 'Cause this is my job. You have a job—everyone has a job and this is mine. Please let me do my job, Dad."

There was no sound except the birds chirping and the insects buzzing.

"Alright." He said finally. "This is your job, then."

We walked in silence back home for most of the trip, but after a while something seemed to press at Dad and he broke the silence.

"When you're out here, how do you defend yourself?"

"You mean… how do I keep the walkers away?"

"More or less."

I kicked a rock and stuffed my fists in my pockets. I always worried how I was going to break this news to him. It was the hardest, biggest secret I held. Bigger even than the garden. Telling it was a different sort of leap. Sure he said he would keep quiet about the garden, but he wouldn't be able to keep quiet about me. He'd want to do just what Enid suggested and find out why I was this way. I didn't know what would happen after that; How many people were going to find out? What would they want to do?

I must've tensed outwardly and buried my nose inside the collar of my cloak; I often did that when I was nervous or scared.

"Judith…?" My dad said carefully. Maybe I had done more than tensed up because I felt his hand on my shoulder just then. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." I said. I was breathing heavily. "I'm fine."

He didn't look convinced. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

I stayed quiet for too long, searching his expression for something that would tell me all I needed to know. There was a flicker—a moment where his expression changed. A spike of fear shot through me and I fearfully shook my head.

"No... no I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Is it about the walkers?"

"Yes." I answered.

He proceeded with caution, noticing how I had suddenly worked myself up. "I just want to know how you handle them, Judith. That's all. I'll let you be out here but only if I know you can defend yourself."

He looked at me and I could tell he meant it.

"Do you run from them?"

I didn't know what to say or how to answer him. "Well… they don't… that's to say… I'm not…" Then I gave up and nodded. "Yes. Yes I run from them." It was the simplest and safest answer to give him. "I'm not a coward!" I said instantly feeling he might've thought I was weak by saying so. "And I do know how to kill them, but most are taller and stronger than me, but they're slow, too. They're real slow and stupid, and I'm fast and I know how to lure them away from me."

"Why don't you shoot them with your slingshot?"

I didn't know how to respond by that. Normally once they caught sight of me, they just lumbered away. They weren't a threat after that, but I had to say something.

"I… don't like wasting my ammo, not unless it's totally necessary." I decided.

My answer didn't please him, but it looked like he bought it. "I think you need to sort out your priorities, Judith." He said sternly. "I know you're capable of killing them, but I think you don't quite understand the value of life over a pellet. If you see a walker, you put it out of its misery. Not just because it's a danger to you, but because it's a danger to others as well. Imagine if a walker you had the chance to kill escaped to kill one of our friends instead. How do you think you'd feel about that?"

The thought made my mouth dry. "I… I'd feel terrible and responsible."

"Exactly." He said. "So before we go back I want to see you take one down on your own. I'm not letting you out here again until I know you can do it."

We didn't have to go far to find one. In just five minutes there were two of them that we spotted through the foliage.

Dad steered me within their sight and jerked his head towards them expectantly.

The two turned towards us but didn't move closer and I knew why. Thinking quick I took up my new slingshot and aimed. The first went down without a problem. Their skulls were as soft as rotting watermelon shells and their brains were like goo.

But when the second one spotted me it didn't approach any closer than where it was.

To my Dad's surprise and my own horror, it began to turn away from us, choosing a new direction. My hands were sweaty and I fumbled with the pellet before it suddenly slipped away from me to the ground. I scrambled for another one and aimed, but I missed. I tried again, but missed once more.

My dad unfortunately was no longer paying attention to me as he observed this odd behavior. Walkers were supposed to attack anything that moved and this one was ambling away for some reason.

"What the hell."

I knew he was straining his ears now, wondering if there was a sound in the distance that had caught its interest now, but we heard nothing.

My heart was beating fast and I was consciously aware that I needed to gain control of this situation. I aimed again, but my father put his hand on mine before I had let loose.

"Wait a moment. I want to see what's going on here."

No no no! I don't want you to!

A cold sweat broke out on my neck and I stared back from my father to the lumbering dead body. It didn't seem like he knew what was going on, but he wasn't stupid enough not to figure it out in time.

Against his wishes I aimed and fired at the walker while its back was towards us. It went down without a problem.

My dad rounded on me. "Judith, I asked you not to fire."

"But I thought that's what I was supposed to do."

"Yes but I wanted to know what distracted it."

"Why does it matter?" I tested irritably.

"Because now I don't know if we're alone out here or not."

By that we both stopped dead and listened carefully. But there was no sound and nothing moved. Then another moan broke through and we both turned to see a third walker off in the distance ambling towards us. My dad waited but this one didn't turn back. They usually didn't until they were closer.

"Can I get that one at least?"

He paused, waiting to see if it would turn back, but it kept forward for another few feet.

"Alright then."

I stepped up and didn't give it a chance to turn around before I fired away. Being a little more confident helped. Confident firing always had the best results.

It fell down in one blow and my father nodded approvingly. "Alright. I'm convinced now. Looks like you know how to handle yourself well enough."

I swallowed in relief. My secret was still safe and I was still scared to death someone was going to discover it.

Author's Notes: I forgot to mention from Chapter 6 The Radio Host, that the two songs that Bianca played when waiting to hear back from the crashed astronauts was "Rage" written by Dylan Thomas and read by Anthony Hopkins. I thought the Interstellar soundtrack would be appropriate and would add to the suspense. The second is "Saturn" by Sleeping at Last. It has a quiet somber tune that seems, in a way, extremely hopeful and sad at the same time, like a ballad for a fallen hero who lived a beautiful life but died tragically. If you listen to it close enough it's a song that almost brings tears to your eyes from either joy or sorrow or maybe both.

If you guys have any particular thoughts or comments I would love to read your reviews.

Also I wanted to start some drabbles for this story. It would be a separate piece of writing from this initial story but centered around Judith since she's my main character in all this. Just small scenes or oneshots to kind of expand this story a little. If anyone has any suggestions or scenes they would be interested in reading I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts and I could see how they would work.