CHAPTER TEN: The Painful Cost of Fate
Rey
Slow awareness trickled into Rey's mind as warmth and light began to heat her face. She turned her head out of the sun, blinking slowly. Ben's arm was slung over her back, heavy but pleasant. He looked impossibly young, eyes closed, face mashed halfway into the pillow, breathing slow and steady.
She snuggled deeper into the bed and sighed in contentment. This was quite a good way to wake up.
Yesterday's wild events seemed more like an amusing dream than real happenings. The little tête-à-tête with Cedris and Ben at the table, the strange — nearly deadly — encounter in the alley, the impossible appearance of a rescuer who turned out to be Ben's pilot. It was almost enough to make her laugh. Though nothing was quite as tantalizing as the memory of what came after. Of Ben, and her, and that ridiculous attempt at dancing...and all of it. After some consideration, she decided it all balanced out to quite a good night. And an exceptionally good morning.
Yet still, something lurked in the back of her mind.
It was a lot like the vague whispering in Ahch-To, both from the Uneti tree and the dark cave. Something was calling her through the Force. Her heart heard it, constant and quiet, pulling always at her. She needed to answer.
Ben grumbled and stirred, fighting the rising dawn of consciousness. His arm across her slid off, tucking beneath him. She chuckled and brushed hair out of his face.
"Morning."
His eyes snapped open in surprise and he jerked his head up, looking at her as if he didn't quite trust that she were really there.
"Did you think you'd dreamed it all?" she asked, grinning.
He nodded, head sinking back down onto his pillow with a soft sigh. "Glad to be wrong."
His hand lifted and tentatively brushed down one of her arms.
She scooted into his chest, nestling herself against him. He rumbled with pleasure and turned, wrapping his arms around her in a kind of bear hug. So possessive. She didn't mind. It felt good to be needed. He still smelled like he had the night before, only now it mingled with the musk of his natural body.
This was extremely pleasant. She could stay like this all morning. Forever, actually.
"Me too," murmured Ben, responding to that thought. "Too bad we have people waiting for us."
"And a feeling to investigate."
"You still want to do that?"
She nodded. "I need to. Don't you feel it?"
"I do, but I think it's bothering you more than it is me."
The implication in that, Rey knew, was that the Force meant it for her, and not necessarily for him. Given the times she's felt such a tug, she worried it was some kind of painful lesson in store that Ben didn't need to learn.
Still, she couldn't leave this place until she'd figured it out.
"Okay," Ben said simply, again reading her thoughts. "We'll go back and keep looking."
Perhaps there would be times when that little habit of camping out in her head became annoying, but right now she was far too content to care. She pressed a kiss into his shoulder. "Thank you."
Even with this plan in place, neither were very eager to leave. So they lingered a moment longer, savoring the warmth of each other and the blissful serenity of being together.
It couldn't last forever, though, and eventually they emerged into a sleepy golden morning, dressed for travel back to the First Order. They'd put on their more ostentatious clothes later. Right now they looked rather simple.
Which wasn't much a problem, given how utterly empty the whole city scene was now. Only a few denizens wandered about — mainly of those species which either slept little or rose with the sun. Everyone else burnt off their late night revelries in the gloom of darkened rooms and deep slumber.
Ben and Rey sat on a sun-dappled terrace, sipping caff and sharing from a plate of fruits, breads, and cheeses.
"I like this place better in the morning," Rey decided, listening to the waves breaking on the shore below. On the beach, a few morning-friendly tourists sat sun-bathing or wading into the water.
Ben murmured his agreement. All the extravagant excess of the night was easier to forget in the light of day. It was almost peaceful.
"Someday, I want to settle in a place like this," Ben said, motioning to the surrounding landscape. "A green place. By a beach. Except with nobody around."
She laughed. It sounded nice, of course, but for some reason she didn't see Ben as the kind to settle in one spot for the rest of his life. He had a restless heart, she was pretty sure. Besides, it was very Luke-ish of him to seek a place where nobody could bother him, but she chose not to point that out.
Instead, she said, "This work you've decided to undertake could last your whole life, Ben. There may not be much time at the end of it to retire."
He sipped at his caff, glancing at her over the rim. Something glimmered in that stare, something which he did not allow her to glimpse through their bond. "Perhaps."
A little screech interrupted them as a tiny creature in fluffy white fur skittered across their table, snatching a grape.
"What the—"
Rey's alarmed exclamation cut short as the tiny primate leapt off the table with its bounty in hand and landed on the shoulder of a familiar person striding their way.
"Court," Ben said mildly, unsurprised.
"Hey," she said, grinning.
Rey still watched the little animal as it wrapped a tail around one of Court's braids and began to nibble excitedly on its prize.
"I see that thing has made a reappearance."
Court flashed Ben a sharp look. "That thing was with me the whole time last night. I just told him to stay out of sight. He helped me win quite a lot of dough, I'll have you know."
"So he helps you cheat, too?" Ben sighed.
Court shrugged. "Whatever gets me the money, boss."
"Her co-pilot," Ben explained when he caught Rey's eye.
Rey laughed. "Co-pilot? Isn't he a little small to fly anything?"
Court smirked. "Trust me, he gets around just fine for his size. Ask your boyfriend, here. He's seen little Jido in action."
"He's not —" Rey stopped her habitual protest, glancing quickly at Ben who watched her with a curious expression. Her stomach twisted and heat warmed her cheeks. Ben hadn't corrected Court when she said the same thing last night. Is that what they were now, then? It didn't seem like the right label, but she didn't really know what else to call it.
"He's…my partner," she finished lamely.
"Sure," Court dismissed, reaching to pluck some food from off their plates. "So what were you guys looking for down there last night, anyway?"
Ben didn't stop the thieving, which surprised Rey a little. "A disturbance."
"A disturbance? Like somebody throwing down? Because you found that."
Rey grinned. "No…it's difficult to explain. We aren't really sure what we were looking for. Just, something influencing the Force in a funny way."
"If I hadn't seen what I saw with my own two eyes, I'd think you were certifiable with all that religious stuff," said Court, shaking her head. "How are you going to find something if you don't even know what it is?"
"I don't know," Rey admitted. "Just a feeling."
Ben radiated with amusement, though his face betrayed none of it. "We're going to look around again this morning before we depart."
"Just be careful. Don't be throwing people around with your minds, cuz you don't know who could be watching. Last night when I left you, I saw some little kid running away from the scene like he was scared of getting caught. Probably really freaked out by what you two did."
"A kid?" Ben lifted a brow.
"Yeah. What kind of parents let their kid run around the streets in the middle of the night, huh?" She shook her head again. "Not mine, I can tell you that for damn sure."
Rey wondered if anyone had thought that about her, running around Niima by herself, sometimes in the middle of the night, looking for a place to sleep. That was before she found her AT-AT and having a place to lay her head at night was sometimes a big problem. Court assumed the child had negligent parents, but more likely he didn't have any at all. Sometimes kids didn't have anyone to put them to bed.
She felt Ben's gaze on her, and glanced up to meet her. Something interested bubbled in the psychic space between them. Intrigued. Suspicious.
Really? He thought the kid was involved with the disturbance?
"Did you see where this child went?" Ben asked.
"Not really," Court said with a shrug. "I wasn't that interested. Is he in trouble because he saw your little secret?"
"No."
"Good, because I swear, boss, magic or no — I'd kill you if you went after a kid just because he saw you being careless."
Rey smiled a little. Few people in Ben's life had ever spoken to him like that and gotten a pass, but he didn't seem the last bit bothered. "We're not like that."
"Good." The monkey on Court's shoulder leapt off for another grape.
Ben was quickly becoming preoccupied with the idea of this kid. Rey could feel his rising impatience and knew it wouldn't be long until he announced they needed to start going. But for her own part, Rey wasn't really sure why the kid seemed as likely a candidate as anything else.
But if he was...what did that mean?
Ben caught her eye again and a wave of reassurance swept from him to her, which only confused her further. He was worried for her. Why?
Court glanced between them at this silence. "Ohhhhkay. So is this the part where you two jump up and say you need to go, and I'm stuck with the bill?"
Ben turned his attention to her. "I've already taken care of everything. You won't have any bill."
"But you are going, then?"
"Yes.
She sighed and got up out of her seat. "At the risk of spoiling the honeymoon, mind if I tag along? If there's going to be some Force thing going down, I wanna watch."
Rey laughed. "Come, but I don't think it will be all that exciting."
They left their morning meal and headed down the quiet streets, sloping their way towards the back alleys and animal pens that had surrounded them the night before. A few more tourists had woken and now milled about in various states of mellow activity. If the night was for showing off, the morning was for caff and contemplation.
The whisperings of the Force grew stronger as they found the same alley from last night, seizing Rey with such power that she surged ahead of her companions, searching intently.
Something was here. Something she needed to see, or do, or learn. It was difficult to know when it came to the Force. And while she was busy wondering what this was all about — why did it affect Ben differently? Based on his attitude now, he seemed to know a little more about it than she did, but yet felt a very different level of urgency. In fact, she detected a great deal of trepidation in him.
The whisperings led her to a small door set into a vast wall. Above loomed the casino. To the side, another vast wall. It smelled strongly of animals here. She tested the door. Locked. Swiftly, before the other two could even ask about it, she'd delved into her side pouch and produced her tinkering tools. Since getting captured and thrown into a closet on Naboo, she never went anywhere without her tools. That was an annoyingly difficult situation, when it could have been much simpler. Locks were only rudimentary machines, and she'd done more than her fair share of picking them to get into the various locked doors in downed Destroyers on Canto Bight.
Court laughed. "She's a real criminal, this one."
Ben said nothing.
The door gave a satisfied little chirp and slid open. Rey tucked her tools away and led them inside. They moved through an empty office, so caked in dust it was clearly never used.
Beyond the office, another unlocked door led to a long, exterior hallway. An exceptionally hideous Cloddogran snoozed in a chair, whip in one of his four hands, a nasty rod in another, and two folded across his ample belly. His face, like all of his species, looked like flesh that had boiled and petrified in that frothy state. Rey's skin crawled at the sight of him, and she felt as if she were gazing on the visage of Unkar Plutt again. The Crolute was a great deal prettier than this nasty piece of work, but they gave off the same attitude.
Here was a bully. Rey hated bullies.
Another whisper of wariness trickled from Ben, and she turned to give him an inquiring glance.
He shook his head.
Court wrinkled her nose at the Cloddogran and moved quickly away.
A soft scuffling sound turned all their attention down the open-air hall and they moved on with quiet footsteps. The hall contained doors a plenty — too many to check before certainly waking the creature by the office. But beyond these doors, the hall gave way to a row of animal pens. The gates to these pens were enormous, so the animals they housed must have been enormous too.
"Fathiers," Ben said, glancing at the race track on the other side of the stable. "Looks like we found the scene of Rose and Finn's crime."
Which explained why most of the stalls were empty.
Little whispers broke the stillness of the place. Three shadows stirred, pushing one forward. A child stepped into view. He wore shabby clothes, a lopsided cap, and bore a telltale gauntness to his face despite the round cheeks of childhood. His skin was the same color as Court's.
The three adults stopped short at the sight of him.
"Is that the kid you saw last night?" Rey asked Court softly.
"Nope." Court slid up beside her and motioned behind. "But I did see that one, back there."
In the darkness of the corridor beyond, the shapes of the other two children were barely visible. Both had lighter skin than the boy glaring at them now. The girl had fiery red hair, the boy in front of her had a cap similar to the other's. They all looked way too thin, Rey noted with a throb of pain.
The first boy crossed his arms over his little chest. "You're trespassing."
The language he used wasn't entirely familiar, but Rey recognized it. A dusty memory of something she'd encountered long ago surfaced.
"We want your friend," she attempted.
The boy jumped back a step, eyes widening in fear for half a second before he squared himself and shook his head. "No."
Ben put a hand on the small of her back and corrected, "We want to talk to your friend."
Rey glanced at him, surprised. He knew this language? Court didn't look bewildered either — did she also know it?
"It's not an uncommon language throughout the galaxy," Ben explained softly. "Those who travel will inevitably encounter it."
Possibly that explained how it had made its way to Jakku. Still, Rey was surprised. She glanced at the boy again. He glowered at them. Brave thing. Her gaze traveled beyond him to the others. The girl was brimming with curiosity, but the other one…the other male…
Ben was right.
The Force, moving through her, moving through Ben, swirled around Court and the other two but the boy — it passed through him as if he were a magnifying glass. She could feel it, as certainly as she could feel it within herself, and within her companion. He didn't blaze like a bonfire in the night like they did, but he burned, bright and certain.
"We aren't here to hurt you," she said softly. "We just want to talk."
The other two children came out of the shadows. The Force-sensitive boy's eyes locked on hers. He knew. He had seen them, and he knew that they were like him. She summoned all her compassion and kindness and let it tinge the energy around her. Hopefully, on some level, he would sense it and know she was sincere.
He moved beyond his friends, despite the other boy's objection, and came to her.
"Hi," she said, kneeling to his level and offering a smile.
He didn't.
Beneath his eyes sank two dark rings. His sallow sink and loose-hanging clothes suggested a life of hard labor and little food. A life she recognized all too well.
"I'm Rey." She didn't really know the first thing about kids. She'd never, ever been around one. But this seemed like a pretty neutral place to start. "What's your name?"
"Temiri," he said very softly. "Blagg."
"Hey Temiri," Court chimed in, crouching down next to Rey. "I'm Court. Is that guy back there your boss?"
He nodded.
"Is he a pretty deep sleeper?"
Another nod.
"Gonna sleep for a while?"
This time, the kid shrugged.
Rey wasn't really sure where Court was going with this, but the way she talked to the boy seemed to be working. He looked at her with a little less caution.
"So, my friends are pretty good at being nice, and they're good at sharing their food. Can we buy you three some breakfast? I bet you're pretty hungry," Court said, motioning to the other two.
The eyes of all three children widened into enormous saucers.
Yes, Rey realized immediately, that was good. The kids needed to eat, and this would be a gesture of good will. She glanced at Ben, who largely ignored the children and watched her with that same strange look. Almost…almost as if he pitied her. What was his deal this morning?
"Okay. You three go with my friends out there to the field where your boss can't hear us talk. I'm going to go get some food and bring it. Yeah?" Court continued, slowly.
Temiri nodded. The other two ran forward, nodding with big smiles as well.
Court grinned. "Okay. I'll be back."
Rey stood and motioned the children to follow her. She headed up the ramp towards the race track. Ben fell into step next to her, silent as ever. The little girl ran up next to him, slid her hand into Ben's, and beamed up at him.
Ben looked down at her. Rey turned to watch, knowing Ben had as little experience with children as she did. They were both wildly out of their element here. This wasn't at all what she'd expected to do when she woke up happy and peaceful this morning.
"What's your name?" Ben asked the girl after a minute. His voice was surprisingly gentle.
"Arashell Sar," she said shyly.
They moved into the brilliant sunlight and off to the side benches where the track hands usually sat to help out with the races. There, they indicated that all three children should sit down. They did, obedient and eager for the promised food.
Rey experienced a sudden onset of awkwardness. What were they supposed to do with the kids until Court got back with food? They all looked at her expectantly, as if she were about to do a trick, or reveal some grand plan.
"Um…" she glanced at Ben, looking for something to say.
"We know his name," Ben said, taking the lead and pointing at Temiri. "And we know her name. But what's yours?"
"I'm Oniho Zaya," said the other boy, pointing a finger directly into his chest. "I'm ten. Arashell is almost twelve. Temiri is ten like me. You never said your name either."
"I'm Ben. Are there other kids here too?"
Oniho nodded. "But most of them are working at the other tracks, on account of we only have a couple Fathiers now. But Bargwill said he'll bring them back when we get more animals again."
Temiri made a soft scoffing sound.
Rey glanced at him. He saw and quickly looked at his shoes, swinging from the bench.
"You don't want to get more animals?" she asked him.
He shook his head. His fingers strayed to a ring on his pointer finger, spinning it nervously. Rey didn't recognize it, but she remembered Rose saying she traded a ring in exchange for some help to a stable boy. Could this possibly be the same one?
"My friends came here one time," she started explaining. "They were in trouble and needed some help. They ended up freeing all the Fathiers. Did you three help them?
Arashell and Oniho illuminated with excitement, nearly bouncing off the bench and competing with one another to confirm the story.
"It was us!" Arashell cried.
"And it was wild!" Oniho laughed. "They busted everything up!"
Arashell giggled too. "It was really great. We liked them. Bargwill was so angry! But he didn't know it was us that helped them."
"No, he definitely didn't," confirmed Oniho. "So we didn't get in too much trouble."
Temiri stayed quiet on his seat, giving Ben and Rey both anxious glances.
Rey dug her foot into the dirt idly, awkward again. She'd used up her one and only idea for conversation, and Temiri hadn't taken the bait. He knew he'd been caught, and he was worried he'd be punished for what he saw. She knew this, not because she could read his mind like she could Ben's — his was much more closed off — but because she knew the fears that ran through the mind of a child like him. He was protecting himself. She understood it, but she wanted to get him past it. They needed to talk to him alone.
"Are you all from here?" Ben asked, sensing her loss of ideas. "Are your parents here?"
They all three shook their heads.
Oniho spoke for them, clearly their leader. "They were here once, but they left us. They said they'd come back, but we all know better."
Rey sucked in a sharp breath. A pain like she'd just been punched in the gut shot through her.
"They lost all their money gambling," Arashell elaborated.
"Yeah," confirmed Oniho. "Bargwill pays for kids. He said he'd give them enough to leave if we stayed behind."
"It happened to all of us. Me when I was nine," Arashell sighed.
"Me when I was seven," said Oniho. He looked at Temiri. "Him when he was five. He's been here longer than us."
"Does Temiri talk?" Ben asked, raising an eyebrow.
Oniho shrugged. "Not very much. Sometimes, though."
Court reappeared, boxes in hand. She beamed, and Jido, her monkey, bounced excitedly on the top of her head, squeaking and screeching. "Look what I got, little people!"
Arashell and Oniho dashed out of their seats to descend on the food. Temiri flinched their direction, but again gave Ben and Rey a fearful look and stayed rooted to his seat, eying his friends with longing instead.
"Go, eat," Rey urged.
With this permission given, he ran to join the others.
She glanced at Ben. "How did you know, when she said she saw a kid, that he would be the source of the disturbance?"
He frowned. "It usually starts to manifest in childhood. Why do you think the Jedi took children for their academies and temples? Before Luke, Padawans were typically very young when they began training. Younger than ten."
After the kids had eaten and been entertained by Court and Jido, who both seemed more than perfectly comfortable with kids, Rey finally managed to get Temiri to leave and follow her off a little ways. Ben came with. Temiri seemed slightly less frightened now that he had food in his belly and nothing bad had happened so far, but Rey still felt his wariness.
She motioned for him to sit, and then sat beside him.
"So…" she began, trying to emulate the simple, honest way Court spoke to them. "We know you saw us last night. We were dealing with a bad guy."
He nodded.
"And I think you saw us do things that maybe you can do too."
Temiri paused, brow furrowed, and then he shook his head. When they didn't continue, he said reluctantly, "I can't do those things. Lift people up. Freeze missiles."
"But can you do other things?" Ben asked, joining in now as well.
The boy hesitated. "A little."
Rey's heart sped into an excited little rhythm in her chest. Another Force user! And one young enough to have no knowledge of dark or light. One who was just learning about this power growing inside him, and would need guidance. Guidance she and Ben could give.
This was why the Force called her to him, she was certain of it. Temiri belonged with them. They were meant to train him, and begin a new generation of Force users raised up in a new philosophy. Not a Jedi, not a Sith, not anything except this hazy middle ground she and Ben were discovering together, step by step. Ben was meant to fix the galaxy, and she was meant to find and recruit these young Force sensitives for them to teach. This had to be the answer!
"Temiri," she said softly. "We're like you. We started like you, but the things we learned helped our understanding grow, and now we can do more things. Would you like to learn, too?"
He nodded, eyes widening again.
Ben gave her that strange look again. What was with that damned look?
She ignored it and continued. "We're leaving here today. You could come with us. We could teach you what we know. You'd get to eat every day, multiple times a day, and never have to muck out a stable again. We could give you a new life and help you learn how to use your gifts. What do you think?"
Temiri stood up, a smile breaking over his somber little face for the first time. "Like Luke Skywalker!"
Ben flinched. Rey laughed. "Yes, just like Luke Skywalker. Did you know he was my master? He trained me. And he was his uncle. He trained him too."
The fear in the boy's face was utterly gone, replaced by awe and wonder and excitement. His eyes glittered, and Rey's heart ballooned.
Peals of laughter rang out from the other children, wandering the track with Court and her monkey. Hearing them, Temiri's expression dimmed. His shoulders slumped and he sat back down, shaking his head.
"I can't go with you."
"Why not?" Rey frowned.
He looked at his friends and shook his head again. "I just can't. I need to stay here."
"Temiri —"
"Rey," Ben interrupted. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Was it so he could explain his peculiar mood and bizarre, pitying glances? Because if so, absolutely. And if not, this was bad timing. Rey nodded, puzzled.
Ben glanced at the boy again. "Wait for us for a minute, will you?"
Temiri shrugged.
Together they walked out of hearing distance. When they'd gotten far enough away, he turned and drew a deep breath, bracing himself for the coming conversation. That wasn't a good sign.
"Rey," he began. "Don't convince him to come with us."
"What?" She recoiled. Whatever she'd been expecting to hear, it wasn't that.
"I mean it. I don't believe he should come with us."
"Because of the First Order?" To be fair, that was a good point. Showing up with this random, malnourished child in tow didn't exactly give him a strong, menacing introduction into leadership again. "Your mother might—"
"No."
"You think he needs to stay here?"
"Yes."
"Why?" This was incomprehensible, and a little hurtful. Didn't he feel the confirmation of their destiny here today? This was what they were supposed to do. This was what she was supposed to do.
"No, it isn't," he said, answering her thoughts rather than her question. "I know you want to think that, but it can't be. Not after everything we've learned. You really want to do the whole Master and Apprentice thing? I don't."
"That's not…" she trailed off uneasily. Was that what she'd been thinking of?
"The old ways need to die, Rey, and I don't want to be part of brainwashing another generation into our way of thinking. He needs to explore the Force on his own, and find his own path."
"On his own? How can you say that? How can he find his own path? He's abandoned here. Sold into this life." She heard emotion leaking in to her own voice and hated herself for it. This was no time for emotion.
"I know that." Ben's jaw muscles tightened with his clenched teeth, but they loosened before he spoke again. "It's cruel to leave him in these circumstances, I know, but perhaps he needs them to become the person he is meant to be. As you needed yours."
It was a harsh thing to say. As harsh as the things he used to say to her when this all began. But maybe it was just as true. She raged against it, her heart bursting into pain. Her voice shook more now. "I can't walk away and leave him in this!"
"Rey, he's not you. I know you see yourself in him, but don't project your pain onto him."
"He was sold, Ben! By his parents! Their own son is now paying for their stupidity. He's needs love. You of all people should understand how dangerous and horrible it is to grow up not feeling loved."
"And are you prepared to give him what he lacks, Rey?" he fired back, pressing her hard. "Are you prepared to be his mother? Because that's what he's going to seek from you, what he'll try to make of you. That's what it's going to take to fill the void in his life. He doesn't need a teacher, he needs a mother. Are you going to give him that?"
This struck her into grieved silence, and she fell back a step. Her heart still thundered hard in her chest, pulses of ache with every beat, making her breaths ragged and uneven.
After a moment, she swallowed and said weakly, "I can't…I can't be anyone's mother."
Ben's tone softened now, dropping to a gentler, kinder timbre. "Then don't try to convince him to come. Don't taunt him with what you can't give. Besides, you know better than anyone the need to stay and wait when everyone else thinks you should go. You stayed there for so long, waiting."
The tears fell now, sliding to her chin as she trembled with a broken heart. "All those wasted years, Ben. All that loneliness, and sadness. How can I leave him in that?"
"He isn't alone." Now Ben came to her, pulling her into his soft embrace, holding her pieces together when she felt them falling apart. "He needs to stay for the others. His love for his friends will help him keep away from the dark side. They will help him find his way. Don't take that from him."
But leaving a child in suffering, when she could help. It was too much to bear. Ben's logic was sound, and she felt the Force confirming it more clearly than her own starry dreams of moments ago. But it agonized her. She wept into his shoulder, for her dashed hopes, for her own painful childhood, and mostly for Temiri's fate.
"Why did the Force want us to find him?" She clutched his shirt, wracked with waves of anger and grief. "If we aren't supposed to help him?"
"Maybe you still can. Maybe you're meant to come back here from time to time, to check on him, to give him a little guidance. To let him know he isn't abandoned."
That…was a possibility. At least she could make sure Temiri and his friends had something to eat once in a while, which was more than anyone ever did for her. It would mean she wasn't interfering with his destiny, per se, but still being a resource when he needed it.
"Until he's ready," she whispered.
Ben nodded. "Until he decides his own fate. He may not choose a life of Force devotion, but if he does, you'll be someone he trusts as a mentor — not a master."
"Ben," she groaned.
His arms slid around her tighter. He knew, from the beginning, that she was going to identify too closely with that boy. That she'd want to rescue him. She wanted to be angry at Ben for trying to stop her, but she wasn't. He knew quite well the cost of leaving this child behind in poverty and abuse. He knew the harrowing darkness the soul of this boy would traverse on his path to adulthood. But Ben saw hope in these circumstances, and saw harm in removing the child from the little love he did have.
"We could take them all to your mother," she tried miserably.
He kissed her forehead. "We'll still help them in the ways we can. We have resources, Rey. We can have Court smuggle them a bit of money now and then. When they're ready to take the leap and leave, maybe my mother will have jobs for them."
It wasn't enough to take away the pain of this moment, but it was something to cling to, at least.
She shuddered, miserable and sad. "This is hard."
"I know."
When she'd dried her eyes and steeled her heart against the vulnerable, needy face of the parentless child, they returned to him.
Temiri had been doing thinking of his own. He stood and drew himself up when they approached. He raised his chin and give them, at last, a strong, determined look. "I thought about it more. But I'm not going. I need to stay here."
"We know," Ben said. "But is it alright if we come see you sometimes?"
Temiri melted with relief and smiled, nodding.
Ben knelt down to his level. "Listen. Those things you saw us do — that was the Force. You have it. It's not a power, but a responsibility. It's going to grow as you do, and if you pay attention to the things your heart tells you, you will use it to help many people — including your friends. It's okay to be angry, but always balance it with love. Trust yourself, and trust the Force. Do you understand?"
Hesitating, the boy nodded again. He didn't fully understand, and how could he? But hopefully the words would stay and come to him when he needed them.
Ben reached out and mashed the boy's cap onto his head, mussing it around a bit. "You'll be alright."
A flash of pride came into the boy's face, and his shoulders squared. Ben's unusual display of kind regard had endowed him with a responsibility and purpose. And that, Rey saw, was a gift he'd carry even after they'd gone. Ben had knighted him as a protector of his friends, and he rose with that new mantle.
She lost herself and hugged him quickly, enfolding his tiny body into her arms where he held stiff as a board. "You're not alone, Temiri. I'll come back."
Stars, he didn't believe her. And why should he? She didn't even believe herself, even though she knew she would. They were the emptiest words she knew.
"Temiri," she held him away and stared into his eyes. "I will be here sometimes, and whenever I am, I promise to always come check on you and bring what you need. Your job is to stay alive, and help your friends."
He smiled and nodded. When she straightened again, he slipped his hand into hers. She savored the touch, the feel of his small grip in hers, and tried to will peace into her own heart with the belief that he would be alright.
They reunited with Court and the others, and eventually left the kids to resume their chores, all a bit happier now. Each step away from the stables filled Rey with sorrow, but she went. Ben held her hand the whole way back to the hangar, even with Court there to see.
Court herself must have sensed something, because at one point she glanced at Rey and said, "So you wanted to bring him, huh?"
"Yeah," Rey sighed.
"But you didn't."
"It's not…it's not in his best interest. I know that sounds crazy."
"Not so crazy," Court admitted, "if we're about to embark on a big scam against the First Order. Can't get kids involved in that. But I get it. I wanted to bring them all home to my parents. It's kriffing sad they got left her. What kind of evil parents would sell their kid, you know?"
"Yeah…" Rey said softly. "I know."
Court bumped her shoulder against Rey's. "Hey, bossman said you're my boss too. So if you ever want to come back here, just say the word and I'm there. I'm with you."
"Thank you." Rey's heightened emotions surged with affection.
At the hangar, her troops awaited them in their shining red armor, ready for inspection. She inspected them first, and then Ben swept in behind her. The children and their plight didn't fade from her mind, but she had other things to focus on now. They had a crew, a plan, and a destination.
As they lifted off and left that impossible, glittering city behind, she promised herself to come back soon. She would. But for now, it was time to go back to the First Order.
{Author's Note}
Sorry, guys. A little pain now and then is good for the soul, you know? I promise we'll get back to fluff soon!
Also, don't let the chapter count fool you. We're about halfway through DFN, by word count, because these chapters are twice the length as the others. For this fic, we're a little more than halfway, by my planning, but we'll see how it all shakes out in the end.
If you have specific things you want to see, specific bits of fluffy fun, let me know.
Comment Responses:
XxEviexX: Glad to hear you enjoyed Bloodline! :D and yeah, I think you're right. I'll play around with all the wacky ideas in this fic, cuz this one is just for fun. (I mean, DFN was just for fun too, but you know what I mean)
Nakamagirl6: Heheheh, glad you caught that hand reference. Don't worry, no robot limbs for this male Skywalker/Solo! That swimming question is an interesting one. She managed to get herself out of that tidal pool on Ahch-To, but I think we could chalk that up to strong survival instincts and a lot of luck, and not a real understanding of how to swim. Now you've got me thinking, though. That might have to come up at some point in the next few chapters!
Ema Marsel: Aw, thanks love! :D
jenmarsh: Haha sorry to make you wait! With my last fic, I'd written ahead so far by the time I started posting, I was able to update really quickly. This one I'm posting as I write it, so it's going a bit slower. Plus life. But I'm grateful you're here for it! And I like it when they sleep in the same bed, too ;)