The next morning, Harry awoke to find Draco missing and Ron still fast asleep. Not bothering to put on a shirt because it was so warm, he wandered into the kitchen following his nose and the delicious smell.

In the kitchen he found Draco Malfoy, also shirtless and barefoot making pancakes. He chuckled at the sight, which alerted Draco to his presense.

"You're up early. You don't need to cook for us you know." Harry said.

"I know, but I like to." Harry raised an eyebrow, and Draco shrugged.

"Guilty pleasure."

Harry laughed. "Okay, if you insist." He smiled, and stretched lazily, humming contently.

"Someone slept well," Draco said, laughing at him.

"Yeah, I did." Harry grinned. "How about you? Sleep well? Even next to a ponce?"
Draco chuckled. "I'm not nearly as attractive as Weasley, so I had nothing to worry about. I slept better than I have in about a year."

Harry smiled, and then frowned suddenly. "You should probably eat better on this trip too."

Draco looked down at his body. His frame was thin and sickly looking and you could practically count all the ribs in his body. "I don't mean to…I mean…I just…I just don't get time to take care of myself sometimes."

Harry waved his response away. "I know. I know what it's like to have that pressure on you. It's impossible to focus on anything else. I know."

Draco snuck a glance at Harry.

"Why are you being so nice? You know the kind of pressure I'm under. You know WHOSE pressure I'm under. And you know the task I have to accomplish. How can you look me straight in the eye?"

"Would you rather me be mean?" Harry asked darkly. "Because I can be very mean."

"No, it's just…"

"Look Draco, it's like Ginny says. Hermione likes you, and we TRUST her. We trust her to know what she's doing. We trust her to know that you won't hurt us in our sleep. Do you understand? I don't know how things work with your friends, but here, we HAVE to trust each other. We have to believe that we all want the best for everyone."

Draco nodded slowly. "It doesn't work that way among death eaters," he said softly.

"I know," Harry said equally as quiet. "Maybe that's why it's so important that it works that way here."

When Remus woke up, he instantly knew he was not alone in bed. It was hard to miss that fact when the other person had his chest to your back, his hips to your hips, his knees to your knees, his feet to your feet, an arm slung across your waist, and a nose in your neck. He smiled slightly.

Sirius was a cuddler, he always had been. And that had been one of his favorite parts of waking up with him in the morning when he was a boy at school. It felt good to be in his arms, even though the relationship was now platonic, or perhaps because it was. Remus found it easier to trust him as a best mate than as a lover. A small part of him knew that it was because he probably wouldn't be able to bear losing him as a lover: as a friend, it was easier. Not easy of course, just easier.

Sirius stirred behind him, and Remus could feel his smile on his neck.

"Good morning, Moony," he said smiling.

"Mm, morning, Padfoot," he answered softly. He felt Sirius move away slightly and sit up, and he too joined him.

"You don't mind…" Padfoot trailed off uncertainly.

"No, of course not," Remus said. "And I'm pretty sure Harry trusts you and I enough for him to understand."

"Do you think…" he paused. "Do you think Harry and I… Do you think we're going to work?"

Remus smiled, choosing his words carefully, he spoke. "I can't tell you for certain, but I can tell you what I see. You need to protect the people you love, and he wants to feel protected and loved. You're a perfect match that way. It also helps that he adores you and you him. You have that unconditional love that comes from being almost family, as well as the chemistry if that kiss was anything to go by. I think you guys are cut out for each other."

Sirius looked determined, "Well, there's only one way to find out." And he moved to get out of bed, but Remus stopped him.

"Siri, you don't NEED to be perfect for him. I know this is probably the most unhelpful piece of advice, but try and be yourself okay? Harry has faults too, and he knows that you love him anyway, so he loves you anyway. Do you understand?" Sirius nodded.

"Thanks Moony," he said smiling and pulled a shirt on over his pajama pants. "I'm going to see whether anyone is up yet. Do you want to join me?"

Remus shook his head. "Give me a minute."

So Sirius left the room.

When he arrived in the kitchen, he found Draco behind the counter, making pancakes and Harry sitting on one of the barstools. There was a silence, but it didn't seem tense. Sirius hoped Harry wasn't regretting what happened last night. Not giving himself a chance to doubt himself and Remus's words, he snuck up behind Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Sirius," Harry murmered. He twisted around in Sirius's arms and stole a kiss. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

Sirius was beaming. "You're alright with this."

Draco rolled his eyes. "He was practically GLOWING yesterday. How could you not tell."

Sirius laughed. "You're right. I just…We're not exactly conventional…I…"

"Don't want to ruin anything good." Harry finished quietly.

"There," Hermione said, stepping into the kitchen. "You two are already finishing each other's sentences. What more do you want?" Tonks and Ginny laughed.

Ginny looked around. "Of course, the Weasley men are still sleeping."

"Is Remus up yet?" Tonks asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, he said he needed a minute. But you can go check on him if you want."

Tonks nodded and left the room.

"They're another couple," Harry said after she left, "who need enlightenment on this trip." Hermione laughed.

"Yup, they're who I had in mind."

"I can think of another…" Ginny snickered

"Shush," Hermione said. She quickly changed the subject. "Draco, do you have enough pancakes for everyone?"

He laughed. "Nope, only for myself." Harry glared at him, and he chuckled. "Just kidding. Help yourself. They're delicious, if I do say so myself."

"Fucking HELL, Remus. WHY do you do this to yourself?" the angry shout came from Remus's room.

"Oh crap," Ginny whispered. She was the first to race to the room. The rest followed. When she got there, Fred, George and Ron were already standing in the doorway. Ginny and Sirius pushed their way through.

"Tonks, Remus, you alright in…FUCK. Remus, what happened?" Sirius asked.

Remus was sitting in a chair, with his leg up on the table beside him and his trousers rolled up. There was an ugly, fresh looking scar about a foot long stretching from midthigh to midcalf, and it looked like Tonks had interrupted him right in the middle of changing the bandages for it. She was kneeling down next to him and there were tears in her eyes.

"Padfoot, relax. It's nothing recent. They're from…"

"They haven't healed yet?" Tonks asked quietly. "Why didn't you tell us? You must be in pain." There was no anger now. Only sadness.

"It's fine. They only look bad. I promise, it's really not...I'm not in pain. I just didn't want you to worry."

"Remus, this isn't school. You're not protecting anyone. You don't have to…"

"I don't need you feeling sorry for me, Sirius," Remus said sharply.

"Moony..!"

"No, let him alone," Tonks said bitterly. "Obviously he doesn't want or need our help." She got up and pushed past everyone in the doorway.

"Tonks…" Hermione called after her. Then she looked towards Remus. Ginny understood. She gestured towards Sirius and Remus and then ran after Tonks.

Harry ushed everyone outside. "Come on guys, let's talk about what we want to do today."

Silence filled the room, as Hermione, Remus, and Sirius were left alone.

"Clearly the two of you have some issues you have to work out," Hermione pointed out. She sounded frustrated. "I get it. You two have been friends for a long time, you have a lot of baggage, you've changed. That's fine. But you're also grown men. And you need to start acting like it. Harry and Ron quarrel less than you and that's really saying something. Remus, you have to realize that coming to us for help does not mean you're weak. Being a werewolf is something we cannot even imagine, but we know it makes your life hell and we just want to help you. No one feels sorry for you. And Sirius, please, take a step back. Realize that Remus isn't used to having someone around who takes care of him the way you do. He's been doing it himself for 12 years. No matter how strong the urge is to…to mother him, you can't. You've both grown up. Alright? This is ridiculous. I can't have you two fighting anymore, not when you're supposed to be the best of friends. And Remus you better make things right with Tonks. She just wants to take care of you. And I know you're against that, but Remus, you DESERVE to be taken care of."

There was silence. The two men look down.

"Fix this," Hermione said sternly, then, in a softer voice, "I know you can. I would bet my life on your friendship." And with that she left the room, shutting the door soundly behind her.

The silence stretched. They could not look at each other. Suddenly Moony let out a whimper of pain.

"Moony, what's wrong?" Sirius looked up at him to find that Moony's eyes were glazed over, and fresh blood was coming from the wound.

"I've been…taking medication," Remus struggled for the words. His face was pale, his breaths were coming out in short pants, and he seemed to be in a lot of pain. "for the pain. I should have taken a pill half an hour ago."

"Where do you keep them?" Remus gestured to his trunk. Sirius quickly found them and gave one to Remus.

"Easy," he said, gripping his shoulder tightly. "Easy. It should kick in in any moment now." There was about a minute of turmoil, where Remus gripped Sirius's hand tightly, sweating and shaking, and then suddenly, Remus's face began to relax, and he smiled slightly.

"There, it's fine now. I love magic."

"It is NOT fine. Moony, what is wrong with telling me that you're in pain and you're taking medication? What is the POINT in hiding that from me?"

"It never came up…"

"REMUS I WAS THERE WHEN YOU GOT HURT. HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE NOT COME UP?"

"Look, Padfoot, I don't need you to take care of me…"

"It doesn't matter Remus! I WANT to help you! You think I'm doing this out of pity? Do you think I'm…paying a DEBT of some kind? No, you bastard, I'm doing this because I love you and I just…I just need to make sure that you're safe. I need you to be safe and whole so that I can be safe and whole. Why is that so hard to believe? Don't you feel the same way about me?"

Remus hung his head. "Of course I do, Padfoot. I just…"

"Just WHAT Moony?"

"I just…hate feeling weaker than you. I feel like I hold you back." It killed him to admit it, but Hermione was right, they were acting like children.

Sirius shook his head. "You make me who I am Remus. You make me a better person, a better friend. If it wasn't for you and James, I might have been on the wrong side of this war."

"That was mostly James and you know it."

"Remus, I'm tired of your insecurities. You're one of the most talented people in the Order, you're kind, responsible, good looking, and…"

"A werewolf."

"NO ONE SEES THAT," Tonks shouted from the doorway. "No one see that! Sirius doesn't see it. Hermione doesn't see it. Harry doesn't see it. And I most definitely do not see it. Do you think so low of us that we'd let that get in the way of loving you? You have lived with this your entire life. Why are you doubting yourself now…"

"It is my fault that we are losing this war!"

"What…?" Sirius and Tonks asked together.

"It's werewolves like Greyback," he shuddered slightly. "Fenrir is one of the main reasons for You-Know-Who's victories! He's using his lycanthropy to scare people into following Voldomort's orders. He's a monster," his voice broke. "We're all…"

"Don't you dare…" Sirius warned, his voice shaky. But Remus finished it quietly.

"Monsters." He whispered. Tonks shook her head.

"Remus, how could you…"

"What did he do to you?" Sirius asked quietly, as Tonks dropped to her knees besides him and held his hand tightly in hers.

"What did he say to you?" Sirius asked a little louder. "What bullshit did he feed you?" Remus didn't answer.

"Look at me," Tonks said. "Look at me. Good. You are not a monster. You are not a monster for many reasons, and the main one is that I am in love with you. No, LOOK at me. I am in love with you. I am in love with you because you're charming, and polite, and kind, and you always know the right thing to say when I'm hurting, and you always know how to make me smile, and your laugh makes my heart beat a little faster and when your eyes light up, I can't help but grin. And when I know that I'm going to see you soon, I walk a little faster, and Ginny has told me that I actually become more clumsy around you. Can you imagine? Even more clumsy than I already am?!" Sirius chuckled. Remus said nothing.

"And you know what? I know for a fact, that there is no way that I could fall in love with a monster. I know that you are not a monster, because even though it would mean more work after your awful mission, you volunteered and worked hard to bring the kids here for a vacation, and I know that a monster could never make Harry open up the way he does with you, and I know that everytime Sirius smiles at you, he doesn't see anything close to a monster. He sees this wonderful man who has survived so many horrible things, and still knows how to laugh. He sees you for who you truly are. Not for whatever that bastard Fenrir said to you. You see Remus, I know ALL of these things. I don't think. I KNOW. And I am one smart girl." Remus couldn't tear his eyes from her face. He did not know what to say.

When he didn't respond, she reached up tentatively, and kissed him lightly. He pulled away.

"Tonks, you don't want this. You don't want me. If you do this, I'll make you into an outcast. Your family might shun you, you might not be able to get work. I can't…Oh merlin, I can't do that to you. You're young, beautiful, and you could have anyone. And you have a family, and…"

"And she's in love with you!" Sirius said. His voice was tight, as if he was trying to contain his frustration. "What can we do to prove to you that we love you? What do we have to say…"

"Just trust us!" Tonks exclaimed. Remus shook his head.

"No, you don't understand. I can't…"

Sirius threw his hands up in the air, and left the room angrily, slamming the door hard behind him.

Remus swore.

"Remus, please. What happened on the mission that could make you possibly doubt Sirius's love for you? My love for you is one thing, fine. But Sirius? Hasn't he stood by you since you were little boys? You're hurting him, Remus. He blames himself for your pain."

Remus shook his head. "Tell him I'm sorry." Then he moved his newly bandaged leg gingerly to the floor and walked to the bathroom.

"Harry, Hermione, can you sit tight for a moment? I need to speak to Dumbledore." Sirius's anger and frustration were thinly veiled. Hermione and Harry nodded.

"It'll be fine," Ginny called from the table where they were all eating breakfast. "You'll see."

Sirius nodded blindly and ran to the other room where the fireplace was.

"Dumbledore? Professor Dumbledore?" Sirius called.

"In here, Sirius," he called from his office.

"Sir, there's something wrong with Remus. He's really upset. He has awful, open scars on his legs and unless he takes medication, he's in serious pain."

Dumbledore nodded.

"I told you this would happen!" someone hissed from the corner.

"Snape? What are you doing here?"

"What was I supposed to do?" Albus asked, ignoring Sirius. Sirius realized that he looked tired and weary. "He asked me not to tell anyone, and he insisted that we let him go."

"Who asked you not to tell anyone? Remus? What's he hiding?" Albus and Severus ignored him. They looked into each other's eyes, communicating through legilmensy.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Sirius asked.

"You have to tell him, Albus. He needs to know."

"Just tell me already, Snape," Sirius said softly. "I can handle this."

"You cannot get angry and do anything foolish, Black. Because that is precisely the reason why Lupin refused to tell you. Understood?"

Sirus nodded warily.

"Very well," Snape spoke. "You remember the night of the last full moon?"

"How could I forget," Sirius said bitterly.

"You were not told the whole truth. Lupin…Remus…was tortured, by Greyback's followers. They forced him to watch in his wolf state, the other wolves devouring a…little boy." He looked for a reaction from Sirius, but received none. Sirus was stoic, his eyes blank. "They knew that when Remus watched that, the Wolfsbane potion would keep his human side conscious, but at the same time, watching such a display would also awaken his natural instincts. He would feel like wanting to…join them. Obviously this is a battle that Remus has been fighting his entire life..."

"Sirius," Dumbledore warned. "You cannot change what happened by reacting angrily. The best we can hope to do is to be there for Remus."

Sirius nodded tersely, and then turned on his heel, heading towards the floo.

"Wait, Sirius!" Snape called. Sirius turned, shocked by the use of his given name from him. Snape paused, unsure, then –

"Tread carefully," he said quietly. Sirius nodded, and left the office.

"I hope he does nothing foolish." Snape said softly. Albus nodded.

When Sirius flooed home, he walked to an empty kitchen. Or at least, semi empty. Ron Weasley was sitting on one of the barstools, and he appeared to be in deep thought.

"Ron?" Sirius called. "Where is everyone?" Ron started slightly.

"Hey," he said, rather awkwardly, "Is everything alright?"

Sirius nodded slightly. "Not exactly."

Ron nodded. "Well, we're planning on going to the muggle mall to by swim suits, and then we're going to hit the beach. You going to join us?"

"Er, yeah, I will. I just need to talk to Remus first."
"Yeah, I think he's in his room, with Tonks." Sirius nodded his thanks, and turned to leave.

"Listen, Sirius?" Sirius turned back.

"What Ron?"

"Treat him right, yeah? I mean, I know you will. I do. But it's my job to say it, so I'm saying it, yeah?"

Sirius smiled slightly. "Understood." And he left the kitchen.

He found Tonks sitting on the floor leaning against Remus's closed bedroom door.

"I think he just wants to be left alone," she said softly to Sirius. Sirius shook his head.

"Absolutely not," he said firmly. He pushed past her into the room and then shut the door, locking it.

Remus was nowhere to be found. He went to the bathroom door and knocked.

"Tonks, I'm fine, I promise. Give me a minute, I'll be fine."

"Tonks might have listened to that bullshit, but I won't. Now, you know that I know about a million and one spells that will blast this door open. I don't want to ruin Hermione's house, but I…" he stopped talking when Remus opened the door. Sirius stared hard at him, battling with his anger.

"Padfoot, I.."

"You what?" Sirius asked. "You want to apologize? For lying to me? For not letting me help you? For not telling me that Fenrir hurt you in ways that I can't possibly imagine? For not letting me BE THERE for you?" Remus was shocked.

"You went to Dumbledore?"

"I was worried about you and of course you kept your mouth shut." Sirius responded, his voice rising. Remus was silent.

"I don't think you understand," Sirius said softly, regaining control, "that it physically HURTS me to see you like this. I can't help but think about the amount of times I abandoned you. After James's and Lily's deaths, after my own death…" his voice broke. "I just want to make it up to you, Moony. For godssake, why do you insist on making that so difficult for me?"

"Oh Siri, you don't need to blame yourself for all that. It's not your fault, you know that."

"And you don't need to blame yourself for your lycanthropy but you do anyway."

"That's different."

"It's not! How is that different? Is it your fault that you were bitten?"

"I wanted to…to KILL that little boy. I wanted to…to eat him." His voice was so low, Sirius could barely hear it.

"That's not who you are. I promise you, Remus, that's not who you are at all."

"How can you be so sure? You know more than anyone how close the wolf is to the surface. You could feel him when we slept together, remember?" Sirius smiled at him.

"That's easy. The most beautiful thing about you, is that your heart is in your eyes, Moony. They're the most expressive eyes I have ever seen, and whatever it is you're feeling shines in them. If someone wanted to know who you truly were, all they would need to do is look into your eyes." Sirius paused, and Remus blushed but nodded.

"But…I don't see…"

"Wait, I'll tell you. The thing is, I probably know your transformations better than anyone else, and no one else will probably ever know this, but as your body undergoes that awful change, your mind does too, and I know that because, Moony my old friend, your EYES change," Sirius said earnestly, "They change completely. You're not you anymore. Not at all. And they change even when you take the Wolfsbane potion, Remus. So I'm positi…" his words grew muffled as Remus crushed him in a hug, shaking with silent sobs against Sirius's body.

"Shhh," Sirius comforted him gently, "It's going to be just fine. You'll see. I promise you Remus you'll never lose me and Tonks and Harry and Hermione and rest of us. We'll always be there for you. We'll always love you."

From the doorway, Tonks smiled softly, but there was sadness in her eyes. "I'll never be able to compete with Sirius for his love," she thought to herself.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's taken so long. I'm practically drowning in work now that school has started up again, and although I lose myself in this story on a regular basis, I'm just not finding time to put my thoughts into words on paper (or rather, on the computer). Thank you for your infinite amount of patience, and I can't thank you enough for sticking with the story. Please, please review and tell me what you like and what you don't like. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Merlin knows you've been waiting long enough for it. *loves*