I am BACK, baby!

Disclaimer: What? You think anything has changed in the last...seven months? HECK NO. I STILL NO OWN ANYTHING.

The next morning, we all woke up groggily, all of us sprawled out somewhere in the den. We hadn't planned to sleep in there, but we all had fallen asleep sometime during the movie. I was resting my head on something soft, kind of like a cushion, but yet harder, and my legs were sprawled out on the other side of the couch. I didn't have any idea how I ended up on the couch, but somehow I did. Ella had her head resting on Iggy's shoulder (aww!) and they were lying on the floor. Some time during the movie, Angel and Nudge had somehow managed to take the La-Z-Boy from Gazzy, and they were lying back in it. Ari and Gazzy were on the floor, a good ways away from Ella and Iggy.

I was still only half awake, so my brain wasn't exactly working that well. I was too comfortable to get up from where I was, so I just kind of glanced around the room. Everyone was asleep but me, which was strange, since Ella's the early bird, not me. I glanced down at my watch, realizing it was only 8:37 AM.

I couldn't go to sleep, but I didn't want to move, so I just sort of laid there for what seemed like forever until I started wondering where Fang was.

He wasn't on the floor, and he wasn't in any of the chairs. As far as I knew he wasn't upstairs, and I heard no noise from the kitchen.

Realization hit me and I jumped up from where I had been laying before.

Crap! I was using Fang as my cushion.

Well…this is awkward. Good thing no one's awake.

My brain started working again after that, and all of what happened yesterday came flooding back to me. My face fell.

But I refused to start crying again, even if all I really wanted to do was go curl up in a ball somewhere in my room and never come out. I would not, and I mean would not, cry in front of the Flock again. Nope. Not going to happen. I repudiate.

(How ironic that statement is.)

(Oh, and if you're confused, then don't worry, you'll find out in a little bit. Just be patient.)

So I shoved away the impudent desire to bawl my eyes out, and went up to my bedroom to change into my everyday clothes. I ended up just changing into what I normal wore: blue jean shorts, my "Fleet Foxes" band t-shirt, and my Converse. I combed through my hair quickly, brushed my teeth, and stuffed my ipod into my pocket. Since I moved there, I hadn't wanted to leave any place at all with out my ipod. It was kind of like a security blanket, I suppose.

By the time I got down stairs, Ella and Gazzy were awake, but no one else. Ella looked surprised to see me dressed and Gazzy looked like he needed some coffee. "Wow," Ella said, looking at me approvingly. "You're actually awake before noon and it's not a school day, nor did I wake you up. I'm impressed." I smiled at her. "Why, thank you, dear sister."

"What's for breakfast?" Gazzy asked, rubbing his eyes with his fists and I couldn't help but smile at his bed head. I turned to Ella. She just looked back at both of us. "What? I don't cook."

I sighed. "Well, I'm not coming anywhere near the stove or oven or anything that can heat up, unless you want to get food poisoning."

We just stood in silence for a minute before Ella spoke up. "Um, is Dad awake?"

My eyebrows furrowed. "I…don't know."

"I'll go check," she offered, and then left up the stairs, her feet pattering against the steps the only sound there was, minus Nudge's snoring. I sat down at the kitchen table and Gazzy sat across from me. "How'd ya sleep?" I asked, trying to make conversation. He shrugged, but told me anyway. "I had a really weird dream that for some reason, I could drive, and I was trying to get away from some people. The car I was in stopped in the middle of the street and literally fell apart until it was just the seat I was sitting on. Then the police came and took me away to jail." He had a thoughtful look on his face. I smiled. " I have—" but I was cut off because Nudge started yelling something in a different language. It sounded like…Spanish? "¿Qué hora es?" she yelled and then went right back to snoring. I gave Gazzy a weird look. He didn't look as if it were anything out of the ordinary. In answer to my questioning look, he said, "Oh, it's fine. Nudge just talks in Spanish while she's sleeping. Happens all the time."

I nodded and then continued what I was saying. "I have dreams like that constantly. Although, most of the time, they're about this place that…"

I stopped talking and looked down at my hands. I tried pulling that memory of it out of the back of my mind, but I just…couldn't. I could only remember blips of the dream. Like, how there were cages, and…humans that seemed to be part dog. Like a werewolf, even though I never believed in that kind of thing. And I was always running away…and I was always caught again…

"Max?" Gazzy asked me, waving his hand in front of my face. I snapped my head up to look at his worried face. "Are you okay?" His blue eyes showed concern and I smiled weakly, a failed attempt to seem unbothered. "Yeah. Fine."

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when we heard Iggy shifting. Said fifteen-year-old lifted his head and stretched, before getting up and moving towards where he knew the kitchen was.

Gazzy continued. "You sure, Max? You don't seem fine." I smiled again, except this time it wasn't forced. Iggy stepped in, scratching his head, and took a seat one chair from mine to my right. "Why doesn't Max seem fine?"

I said, "Both of you, I'm fine. Just tired is all," before Gazzy could explain. I pushed my seat back, the legs scraping the floor lightly, and got up to go see why Ella was taking so long.

_I can tell by your eyes/You've never been by the riverside _

"Oh my God,

I see how everything is torn in the river deep.

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside."

I sang quietly, taking my hands away from the piano and putting my head in them instead. I sighed almost too softly to be heard and ran a hand through my blonde hair. I slowly got up from the bench and made my way up the stairs.

Mom loved that song. She taught it to me a couple of years ago, when I was twelve or thirteen. I hadn't played it in a while, but I still knew it by heart.

My ipod was waiting for me when I got in my room. It had been a week since the morning after the funeral and Ella was at a sleepover with Nudge, J.J, and some other girls at the school. Ari was outside playing with his army toys, Dad at work, and me just…being me, I guess. Enjoying my solitude. Still sulking.

I was starting to wonder if I should've always been so closed off. I mean, I had started opening up to the Flock and all, but back in Arizona…should I really have shut everyone out? Did it really benefit me?

But then I'd shake my head and tell my self, "Of course it benefited you! Melinda betrayed you, other people can do that. Worse: they can leave you. If you had opened up, you'd have gotten more hurt than the last time."

I was also starting to wonder more and more about that pain in my head I got at school a while back. I mean, it's been months, and you'd think that kind of thing came more than once, but it hasn't made another appearance yet. And I know I shouldn't have been complaining since it hurt really, really badly, but…I just thought it wasn't…

I didn't even know.

My phone buzzed from my pocket, signaling I got a text message from Ella or Mo—

From Ella. Signaling I got a message from Ella.

Hey, Max! Can you bring over my bag? We're at Nudge's so I figured it wouldn't be that much of a hassle.

I replied quickly. *Sigh. Where is it?

In our room, sitting on my bed. It's the one with the red flowers on it.

I turned around so I was facing her bed and spotted it right away. It wasn't any bigger than a schoolbag and looked filled to the brim. 'Kay. Be there in a sec.

I grabbed Ella's bag, stuffed my shoes on, and ran outside to the backyard to tell Ari that I was just running across the street and would be back in a few minutes.

"Ari!" I yelled, closing the front door and walking around the house to where I had last seen him. "I'm just going to run by Nudge's real fast to drop off—" I stopped short.

He wasn't there. His army toys were left, scattered around the grass, but Ari wasn't there.

"Ari?" I called again, getting more panicked. I dropped Ella's bag on the ground, and took off around the huge backyard looking for him. "Where are you?" I yelled. Birds chirping and my breath answered in reply. My eyes searched everywhere for him, scanning the backyard and then the neighbors houses. Seeing nothing, I ran inside and all through the house, never stopping screaming for him. The worst ran around my head, teasing me, making me even more scared.

After not seeing a trace of him anywhere, I took a deep breath. "It's okay, Max," I said aloud. "Just calm down. Maybe…maybe he's at Gazzy's house. Yeah. That's it. He's at Gazzy's house."

I took another very deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and took out my phone again. I dialed the house number and my heart skipped a beat when Mrs. Walker answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mrs. Walker, this is Maxine Martinez, I live across the street from you?"

"Oh, yes, hello, Max! I've heard so much about you from the kids. They say you're a wonderful girl."

I tried my best not to be rude, but it was really hard not to rush her. "Thank you, Mrs. Walker, but it Ari at your house with Gazzy by any chance?"

I could basically feel her confused expression and her voice was full of curiosity when she answered, "No, he isn't. Why? Is he not at home with you?"

I flicked my eyes out the window once more to where I had last seen him. "No, actually, he isn't and I can't find him anywhere. Last I saw him, he was outside playing with his toys, but I went to go tell him I was going to drop something off at Nu—Monique's and he wasn't there." I finished frantically, pacing around the living room now.

"Oh, dear," she said. "What do you think could've happened to him?"

I sighed again. "I don't know, Mrs. Walker, but thank you anyways. I'll call you when I find him."

"Are you sure you don't want me to call the police?"

"No, no, that's fine! I'm going to keep looking," I said. I knew I probably should've called the police, but I was too afraid that those things actually had happened to him.

"A—alright, I better be going now," I said, "Goodbye, Mrs. Walker."

"Okay…Bye, Max. Have a good day. And good luck."

"Thank you." Then I hung up my phone and ran to go get my skateboard.

_Down by the water/The riverbed/ _

Usually, I would be wallowing in the sheer joy of skateboarding—riding down the street, wind in your hair, and then the feeling that that isn't wind that's passing you, it's you going so fast that the air is like pins—but I was far too worried to even think about it, something not particularly normal for me, as you probably already know. I rode quickly down the street, screaming, "Ari? Ari? It's me, Max! Ari? ARI?" but there was never an answer.

I was nearly to Fang's house when I decided it was time to panic. Fang's house was a little bit away and if he had wandered off, without telling me, further than that—then I didn't even want to think about it.

I almost tripped, jumping off my skateboard so fast, but caught myself and threw it off to the side, disregarding it for the moment. I pounded on the door, panting from having to pump my legs so fast, praying to God that someone would be there—anyone! It didn't even have to be Fang. I just needed help.

Thank the freaking Lord; I heard footsteps a moment later. The door swung open to reveal Mr. Talk, Dark, and Silent himself, standing there in all his black-clad-emotionless-brick-wall-glory. I sighed in relieve. "Oh, thank god," I said, repeating my thoughts aloud. "I am in a very huge predicament right now," I said through deep breaths. He looked at me questioningly. I took deep breath again and started to explain.

_ Some body calls you/Some body says/Swim with the current and float away/Down by the river ever day _

By the time I had finished explaining exactly what was going on, he was already calling his parents, telling them to come home right now and that it was an emergency. He didn't elaborate and just hung up the phone. I called Ella and told her what happened. She called Dad and told him and then she called back, saying that he was on his way home. Fang also called Iggy. I didn't call Gazzy and Angel though. No one did. We wanted to see if we could find Ari before we jumped to conclusions. Plus, I didn't want to scare them. So we kept it between us.

Five minutes after we had called them, Nudge, Ella, and Dad were squished into the car, looking eagerly out the window, hoping they would see him walking along the sidewalk or something that might let them know he was safe. Fang, Iggy, and I were running down the street, calling for him. Dad decided that he would go around to some of the nearby neighborhoods while we stayed just looking around our own in case he was hiding or had come back. Fang's parents were on their way home, but where they worked (since they worked in the same building) was nearly an hour away, so we left to look for him before they had arrived.

And so, you see, that was possibly the worst moment for me to get one of the brain-attacks.

There was a slight hissing building up in the back of my head before the pain came like a thousand sharp needles being stuck into my brain at the same time. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed, clawing my head as if to let the pins out. Behind my eyelids, a bunch of un-wanted things flashed across. A string of numbers passed by, something along the lines of: 10064897623 but I had almost forgotten it the moment it wasn't there anymore. Images invaded my mind, too. Images of those wolf-things from my dreams, images of a little boy—no older than 7—who looked an awfully lot like Iggy curled up in a ball, howling from pain. Images of…Oh my god. Mom. In that place that the mini-Iggy had been. Screaming. Oh my God…

Suddenly, someone's hands grabbed my own, ripping them away from my head where I had been digging my nails into my scalp. They were telling me something, something I couldn't bother to make sense of, but it sounded comforting, so I started to calm down a little. The pain was lessening…It was leaving…I was finally able to tell Iggy was calling the ambulance and he sounded panicked.

When I was able enough to open my eyes, the first thing I saw was my hands. Scarred and bruised and batter and they had blood covering them all the way from the tip of my fingers to my wrist, like I'd just stuck my hands in a bucket of blood. I started to scream again, squeezing my eyes shut yet again, and the pain came back, though worse that time. I was kicking and screaming and clawing and crying and yelling profanities and I'm sure it scared the two of them but it's not like I had any control of what was going on. If I had, I swear I wouldn't have done any of that.

Then the arms were back and I was leaning against that same someone's chest and the images were slowly leaving again and the pain was going away once more. But instead of screaming, I was crying. Crying for the little Iggy I had seen. Crying for Mom who was being tortured. Crying for sweet, redheaded, little Ari who could be dead at the moment. And crying just because I could, really.

Once I could make sense of things, I realized that everything was silent—even the birds had stopped singing and the cicadas had stopped buzzing—save the raven-haired boy whom was muttering things in my ear and the sound of my pathetic weeping. I could feel the tears cascading recklessly down my cheeks but only later was I embarrassed about it.

I opened my eyes and stopped crying as well as I could manage but didn't pull away from him. I wasn't done needing comforting.

Iggy, Fang, and I sat like that in silence for some amount of time that I can't be bothered to memorize, before I pulled away and stared at my hands in shock.

I was so stunned I managed to not notice one detail: there wasn't any blood on my hands, nor was there any bruises or scars. They were exactly the same—nails bitten down to the nub, the remains of red nail polish that had been chipped off still lingering. But nothing particularly unpleasant. Only later, when I had plopped down on my bed that next morning, did I ever realize that there wasn't anything there. But I didn't pay attention or worry about it until after I had taken a long nap and my mind wasn't playing tricks on me. But I'm getting ahead of myself, so let's go back to what moment in the story I was telling you.

I didn't say anything. Not for the next couple of minutes, not for the next couple of hours. Only when I was about to fall asleep, laying on the stiff bed and Fang was holding my hand, did I manage the courage to say, "I'm really, really sorry." He looked at me, his mask for once taken off, and I could tell he was empathetic. He leaned down, kissed my forehead and told me in a soft voice, "You're forgiven."

I barely remember anything from that day after my head stopped hurting. I know for sure that I was taken to the hospital. I know for sure that when I was there, conscious or not, Fang was sitting next to my bed whenever he could, holding my hand, something that I can still recall. (I also recall that I was blushing like mad.) I remember that I stayed there all night until they found out what was wrong with me and why the head-explosion thing kept happening.

They never really did, if I'm right.

_ Why do I go here/All alone?_

Two weeks later and the police still hadn't found Ari. No one knew what to think. Even the normal jerks at school had stopped saying anything rude to me. Instead of harassing me, they pitied the girl who lost half of her family relatively recently and was alone, no matter how many people surround her.

Ella was a wreck too, just as much as I was. Except, she expressed it a little differently. She didn't express it the way that I did, by being even more closed off and not speaking to anyone besides her, Dad, and Fang (we'd surprisingly gotten pretty darn close in those couple of weeks), but rather, she just cried often and wasn't nearly as perky and happy-go-lucky as usual.

The Flock helped us out a lot. Some days I'd skip school just because I could, really, and they'd (Nudge, Iggy, and Fang, since Ella normally skipped with me) bring my homework over to do while I was at home, that way I didn't have a bunch of make up work. They'd spend most of their nights with us—up until midnight sometimes—even though we all had to wake up at 5:00 AM if we wanted to catch the bus. I wondered how I had managed to get some super amazing friends like them. Shouldn't I have scared them off by that point?

Anyways, two weeks—that's how long it took for my life to become one messed up jumble of insanity. It's funny how the only world you've ever known your entire life can be rocked in a matter of seconds, isn't it?

_Down by the river/The rising sun/_

There was a knock at my door. I didn't bother turning around or moving from my position on my bed, arms wrapped around my knees, knees tucked up to my chest. I tried to say, "Come in," by my voice turned out to be a whisper, so I cleared my throat and said it again.

I still didn't move when the door swung open and that same person sat down next to me on my bed. My eyes were glued in front of me, on the small TV that was in between our beds. It was on, but the volume was down and I could barely hear it—I was really just trying to read their lips. That was something Brandon and I used to do, just out of boredom.

Neither of us moved. I didn't care to, and apparently neither did they, because for what felt like forever, no one said anything. I didn't turn to look at them, but I had a pretty good knack of who it was already.

And, just I had guessed, he said right next to my ear, "Is that all you've been doing today?"

Normally, I would've jumped, but I was getting used to it, and managed to suppress a shiver from running up my spin like a cold hand. So, instead, I answered without looking at him, "Pretty much."

We both gave a sort of dry laugh—well, I gave a dry laugh. He chuckled. He only chuckled. Remember?

And we were back to the silence. This time, I was the one to break it. "Fang?" I asked, suddenly very timid and hesitant.

I still didn't look at him, but I could feel his dark eyes staring at me. "Yes?"

I bit my lip and looked down from the TV and at the floor. I shook my head and smiled, almost bitterly. "Never mind."

"What is it?" he questioned, probably confused. I shook my head once more and refused to look at him and his perfectly unknowing, freaking adorable face that I was just going to want to spill my whole heart-guts out to. But that would go against almost everything I'd been trying to avoid for the past, like, three years, wouldn't it?

"Max," he said, his voice stern. I ignored it and kept my eyes on the floor.

Don't look at him, Max, you know you're just going to give in if you look at him…don't look at him, don't look at him, don't—

But then it was too late, because I'd already glanced at his face and my eyes seemed to be glued there and my breath decided to abandon me, the traitor.

The worst part?

Fang seemed to be aware of that.

My subconscious decided to be mean and the song that first popped into my head was "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore.

Shut up, brain!

"Max," he said again, "Why can't you just…tell me what's wrong?" His eyes were pleading and, like I'd seen the other day, his expression for once showed emotion. I opened and closed my mouth several times like a fish, but could never think of a good enough reply. I mean, I didn't know…

Should I tell him? I mean, I know him pretty well and I trust him, right? So should I tell him?

OF COURSE YOU SHOULDN'T, IDIOT!

Two sides of my conscious were fighting over whether or not I should just freaking tell him, while I was sitting in front of Fang and he was waiting for an answer.

Finally, I decided on something for the moment and managed to reply, "I—I can't. N-not right now at least. It—it's a long story."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay," he said. "I just wished you weren't so closed off all of the time. It can be frustrating"

I'm not sure why, because in hindsight, it seems really stupid, but at the time that statement made me angry. Maybe it was because it was Fang, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Silent, lecturing me about not showing people how you feel. Maybe it was because I was incredibly and utterly lost at the time. Maybe it was because I just needed to vent and he was really the only one that would still talk to me long enough to give me an opportunity to.

Either way, I laughed with a bitter sound ringing in it, something that scared me. I had never heard myself do that before. "You're the one to talk about being closed off!"

He looked at me like I was crazy. (I might very well have been.) "Max, what are you—"

"You know very well what I'm talking about. Lecturing me about not opening up to people when you are a freaking emotionless brick wall!" I all but screamed, repeating exactly what I had been thinking.

His jaw set and his mask went on again. "See?" I said. "There's your freaking mask again. I'd never be as good at hiding my feelings if I hadn't watched you do it so much."

He didn't say anything.

I kept ranting.

That's one reason I was surprised that I had somehow been able to find such amazing friends—I treated them like that. I lashed out on them when I was angry, just because they said one, not particularly insulting statement. Any one else would have ditched me by then, but they stayed put, even when I didn't really want them to.

I kept ranting. Fang still didn't say anything. I was getting fed up with that.

I rolled my eyes at him while all he did was sit there and stare at me patiently. "Why aren't you angry with me? Be angry with me!" I shook his shoulders. "Say you never want to see me again! Lash out like I'm doing! Do something that let's me know that I'm right for being cross and that I'm not a terrible person for saying this!"

I was breathing heavily by the end of my mini-speech. He looked at me expectantly and I just stared back, confused, until it sunk it what I had said. I slowly took my hands off of his shoulders and set them in my lap. I looked down. "…Oh..."

There was a long pause of silence.

"Hey," he said, cupping my cheeks and gently tilting my head up to look at him. "It's okay." His voice was calming and the brick wall was down. Hot tears stung my eyes but I refused to let them go. "I'm sorry," I whispered, something barely audible. A normal person probably wouldn't have been able to hear that at all. A normal person probably wouldn't have seen my lips move at all, actually.

But Fang had never, ever been normal anyways.

He pulled me up to his chest and whispered right back, "You're forgiven. You've always been forgiven."

Only a lot longer after did I ever realize that he hadn't meant "closed off" in the same way that he was. Only later did I realize that, in all honesty, he'd always been open to me. It was I who wasn't giving in.

I was hesitant to respond back to his hug, but after a moment, I wrapped my arms around his waist in return and leaned my head against his chest. It seemed for a while that I was going to fall asleep to his heartbeat (I was pretty tired anyways) when I noticed something…His heartbeat was a lot faster than what was normal.

And not just in the sense that when you're nervous your heartbeat quickens, but that it was just normally faster than a regular…humans.

I didn't say anything about it though. I mean, what do you say to that? How can you ask a person why their heartbeat is faster than the average human's without sounding like a creep? And anyways, I was sure it was nothing. So I let myself forget about it completely and I fell asleep right there.

Yeah, I know. I'm terrible. I told you I was gonna update a while back and then I didn't. Flaaaaah, I'm terrible. Plus, I know, I know, I didn't make them kiss and then wasn't really any major fax. Originally, the plan was for them to kiss at the very end and then things be all awkward for a while, but I changed it. And I changed it because I realized that he'd really only been her friend for the last...what, three chapters? There's been a lot of time skipped, yes, but they just started being actual friends. So I'll probably make them kiss in the next chappie or so. Something like that.

Anyways! How was that for ya? My writing style has changed A LOT since the last chapter, but I hope that isn't a bad thing. :) I know that Max is just very unfortunate in this fanfiction, but I am going to make her even more unfortunate...Mwhahahahahaha...

*FORESHADOW FORESHADOW FORESHADOW*

*cough* So yeah. Review please! :D

*.*.*Flitting Wishes*.*.*