I don't own Yuri on Ice or its characters nor do I own the song 'To Where You Are' by Josh Groban...enjoy :)

It was the off-season, and I was sitting in the office working, trying to keep my mind occupied. It was December 16, the one-year anniversary of my mother's death, an incredibly painful time for my family.

I had soft music playing in the background, which kept the encroaching silence at bay. As the current song faded away, another took its place, the song "To Where You Are" by the American artist Josh Groban.

After the funeral, Leo sent this song to me, to remind me that I am not alone. I sat back and closed my eyes, listening to the message of the lyrics. As the office door opened, an idea hit me.

"Aibou, how are you?" Yuri asked, as he came in carrying two steaming mugs of hot tea, followed close behind by Maccachin. I shrugged. "I'm ok as to be expected, I suppose," I mumbled as he sat on the edge of the desk as Maccachin rested his head in my lap.

"You are still in pain, even though a year has passed already. It's to be expected," he said softly, taking my hand in his. "You were listening to the song Leo sent again, weren't you?"

I nodded. "It's brought me a little comfort since the funeral. Listen, lyubov moya, would you be hurt if I left for a while?" I asked, avoiding his gaze.

He gently took my chin in his hand, and, in drawing my eyes to his face, whispered, "take all the time you need, Aibou. We will be here." I smiled and leaned in to kiss the man that has brought me so much comfort.

"I will be back a little later," I said, as I slipped my sneakers on and pulled my jacket over my head. I stood, grabbing the keys from the hook by the door as I swung my bag over my shoulder. "Thank you, lyubov moya, truly. I don't know where I would be without you and Maccachin," I said as I kissed Yuri one more time before taking off.

"You'll be ok, Aibou. I know in time you will be ok," Yuri whisepered from the bay window.

At the rink

"We are shut down for construction. Come back a little later in the off-season," a bored voice said from the back office.

"Ah, I completely forgot, I'm sorry, Yuko-chan," I mumbled, as I turned to walk towards the door.

"Ah, Viktor, it's great to see you. How are you doing?" she asked as she came around the counter, concern in her eyes.

"I'm ok as to be expected, I suppose," I shrugged, trying to keep my emotions at bay.

"The rink is yours," she said softly, as she wrapped her arms around me.

I smiled sadly. "Thank you for letting me do this, Yuko-chan. I definitely owe you," I said as I headed towards the locker room.

"Nah. You and Yuri are welcome here anytime you need a space to think or let your emotions out," she said, squeezing my hands.

In the locker room

I pulled my skates and IPod out of my bag as I kicked off my sneakers. After lacing them tighter than needed to, I stuffed my bag into my locker and slammed the door.

I sat in deafening silence as I stretched, lost in thought. Once I was ready to go, I stood and headed into the practice arena.

In the practice arena

Since the rink was closed for construction, the rink was completely empty, just what I needed. I shuffled through my IPod until I found the song that I was looking for and hooked it up to the speakers.

I took to the ice as the serene music filtered through the speakers.

As I always did, I closed my eyes and let the music take over my body. My throat tightened and my eyes burned as the emotions that I had pent up threatened to burst.

As the music faded away, I dropped to my knees, sobbing. "Aibou!" Yuri called, as he ran onto the ice and dropped to his knees. We sat together on the ice, overcome with emotion.

One month later

"We join you live from the Japan National Figure Skating Competition, where the best and brightest stars from around the globe have come to battle for a spot in the World Competition," Tanaka Sanoske said, turning to his fellow commentator Yamamoto Katsuya.

"That's right, Sanoske-san, we are definitely in for a spectacular show. all eyes will be on Viktor Nikiforov, the Russian Champion. He is making a debut back after taking a year off to coach Katsuki Yuri, his student-turned husband. He was unusually absent from the warm-up this morning, so it will be interesting to see just how prepared he is," Katsuya-san commented.

"All we can do is wait and see, Katsuya-san. We will see, indeed," Sanoske-san replied.

I sat away from the others, desperate to keep my emotions in check, my earbuds pressed firmly into my ears.

Come on, focus. This is just another competition, nothing new. Calm down and focus, I thought, as my eyes began to burn. What is wrong with m-

"Aibou, talk to me. What's wrong?" Yuri asked, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"I'm fine, lyubov moya. It's just a difficult time of year, is all," I said, smiling weakly.

He smiled, that reassuring smile that I love so much in this world. "I know it is, Aibou. It hurts me so much to see you in pain, knowing that there is nothing that I can do for you," he said, pulling me close. "But you are the strongest man that I know, and I know that your mom is watching over you."

He kissed my forehead and hugged me tightly, trying with all his strength to squeeze the worry and sadness from my body.

"Next up is Viktor Nikiforov," Katsuya-san announced as the arena roared.

My heart began to race as we made our way to the railing. Yuri knelt to tighten my laces, and, as he stood, pulled me closer to whisper the same reassurance that I often whispered to him.

"Aibou, remember: pretend that the crowd, the judges and the commentators aren't here. Pretend that we are back at home. Skate for yourself, and skate for me," he whispered in my ear as he kissed my forehead.

"Katya sent this to me after the funeral. She said to give it to you before the first competition of the season," he said pulling a small box from his jacket picket.

My breath caught in my throat as he opened the box. Inside was a silver chain with a blue-violet stone surrounded by diamonds. My mother's favorite necklace, and the one my father gave her the day they got married.

"Don't ever take your eyes off me," I whispered as I fastened the necklace, kissing Yuri.

A hush descended on the arena as I took to the ice. The music filtered through the speakers as my heart pounded in my chest.

"Viktor told us in his interview he designed this program as a dedication to his mother, who was tragically killed in a car accident a year ago," Katsuya-san mumbled.

"That's right, Katsuya-san. Viktor is skating to 'To Where You Are' by the American artist, Josh Groban," Sanoske-san muttered.

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be

Could it be that you never found peace after you left this world? Because I can still hear you speak to me, I can feel your presence around me. You were the inspiration behind all of my performances, mom…and I lost that when you were taken from me, I thought as I skated in time with the music.

"First up is one of his signature combinations, the Triple Flip, Quadruple Toe Loop," Sanoske-san muttered.

I launched off the ice, landing the Triple Flip, Quadruple Toe Loop that I had done so many times before, with little effort as the crowd cheered.

"And he nails it! A flawless combination!" cried Katsuya-san as the crowd cheered.

That you are my forever love
And are you watching over me
From up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while to know you're there
A breath aways not far to where you are

I wish that I could come to be with you, Mom. I wish I could see your smiling face here in the crowd tonight, watching my first competition back in over a year with the man that I love most in this world, I thought, as my eyes began to burn.

Flashback

It was the middle of winter, and my family had taken our annual trip to the mountains. Mom and Dad were seated by the fire, lost in conversation. I watched them as they chatted, seeing the love in my mother's eyes.

"Come, let's go and skate!" Katya said, jumping up from her chair, her book laying abandoned.

The four of us went to change and Katya and I gathered our skates. "Vitya! Where are your mittens and scarf? You will catch cold!" Mom called, as she poked her head in the door frame.

"Mom! We will be insi-"

"Nope! No arguments! Take your scarf and mittens!" Mom said with a hint of laughter in her voice.

We made our way to the rink, and, after storing our things in the lockers, headed towards the practice arena.

Mom and Dad settled in the bleachers, content to watch we Katya and I showed of everything we had learned.

"Vitya! You first!" Katya whispered.

Grinning from ear to ear, I took to the ice and performed my exhibition program, "Stay Close to Me." By the end of the performance, Mom and Dad were at the railing, their applause filling the arena.

"Vitya, that was beautiful!" Mom said, tears cascading down her face as she pulled me into a bone-breaking hug.

I smiled sadly at the memory, knowing that had been the last time Mom had seen me on the ice, even if it was just for fun.

Lie gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

Stay with me, always, even if it's only in dreams that we can see one another. Every day, I reflect back on everything that you and Dad gave me, and every day I cherish the sacrifices you made so that I could follow my dream, I thought as I moved in time with the music.

As the music reached its apex, I launched off the ice, landing the Quadruple Axel, Triple Lutz that I have become known for.

"AND HE NAILS IT! ANOTHER FLAWLESS COMBINATION!" roared Katsuya-san as the crowd roared.

Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breathe
And that love will love on
And never leave
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while to know you're there
A breath aways not far to where you are

I know you're there
A breath aways not far to where you are

I know you are watching over me, Mom. You sent Yuri to me so that I wouldn't be alone, so that I would find life and love again, after neglecting them for so long. I wish that I could see you tonight, even if only to see your beautiful smile, I thought with a sad smile.

As the music faded away, I glided to a stop, my hands raised to the ceiling. You could hear a pin drop, before the crowd roared and burst into applause.

I dropped to my knees, unable to hold back my emotions. Tears cascaded down my cheeks as my heart pounded in my chest.

"Never have we seen such an emotional performance from Viktor Nikiforov! As you can see, Katsuya-san, there isn't a dry eye in the house," sniffed Sanoske-san as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

After a minute, I got to my feet and greeted the crowd. "They are still cheering, Sanoske-san! You could feel the raw emotion that was poured forth from Viktor's performance," Katsuya-san said as his voice cracked.

I took one final bow and left the ice as the crowd continued to cheer, my head bowed.

I looked up in time to see Yuri throwing himself into my arms, tears cascading down his face. "Aibou, that was beautiful," Yuri whispered as we left the staging area. "Your mom would be so proud of you."

We sat in the kiss & cry area, waiting for my scores. Yuri took my hand in his, squeezing them gently.

"The scores for Viktor Nikiforov are in…A PERFECT SCORE!" roared Katsuya-san, as the crowd thundered in applause.

"Your mom would be incredibly proud of the man that you have become. She loves you just as much as I do," Yuri whispered in my ear as he threw his arms around me.

I buried my face in his neck, knowing that my mother was watching from above, her heart bursting with the pride only a parent could feel.

Translations:

lyubov moya-my love (Russian)