L&OSVU10
Hello Loverlies! Here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long to get it out. But 2nite's episode gave me some major feels so here you go. Enjoy!
"Amanda, I need to talk to you about something." Tracy said as he backed away from the kiss.
"Is everything ok?" Amanda asked.
Tracy sat up, gently pushing Amanda to the side.
"I can't do this." He fiddled with his fingers.
"What do you mean?" Amanda sat up, worry across her face.
"What we're doing," he paused for a moment. " I can't do it. At least not right now."
"Are you breaking up with me?" Amanda bite her bottom lip, trying to hold back tears.
"No!" Tracy grabbed her hands. " I mean I can understand if you want to end this but, I don't want too."
"Why would I want to break up?" Tears fell down her face, relief that he didn't want to break up but confused as to what he was talking about.
Tracy wiped her tears from her face, taking a moment before answering. "You know I didn't always live with my dad. I use to live with my mom."
Amanda nodded her head, confusion crossing her face.
"When I was with my mom she, uh, used me to pay for her drugs. Her dealer would make me do things to him. Soon after she pushed me to the streets. Made more money that way." Tracy held his breath. Tracy had told his story hundred times. To cops, to lawyers, to a court room full of people, his therapist and his dad, yet now was the first time his throat tightened with fear. Before Olivia he told a couple different cops but none of them listened. Vice cops tended to be assholes. Most of them treated you like you wanted to be on the streets. The idea that a mother would do that her own kid was unfathomable, so obviously Tracy had to be lying to cover up his own drug problem. When Olivia listen to his story he was finally glad someone gave a damn. And if his case ended up not going anywhere, he didn't care. If Olivia hadn't come in that night, it would have been his last. His dad came into his life knowing what he was getting into. Amanda was the first person he had to tell that didn't have to know.
For a while nothing was said. Tracy watched her as she pushed her legs off the bed, she looked to her hands that were folded her in lap, deep in thought.
"Well?" He asked, the silence was killing him.
"I don't know what to say." She whispered.
"The truth would be nice." This was it. This was the end. She couldn't handle this. Hell, he barely kept it together some days and he lived through it. How could he except her to deal with it?
"A lot of things make sense. I thought it was me. I thought cause I was inexperienced." She trailed off.
She looked back up at him. " I love you."
Tracy choked, "What?"
"This isn't the way I wanted to tell. Obviously." She gave a nervous chuckled. " This is a lot to deal with but I love you. I wanna be with you." She grabbed his hand.
Tracy stared at her, waiting for his brain to catch up with what she just said. "Are you sure? I wouldn't blame you, if you wanted to back out."
Amanda shook her head.
Tracy leaned up to kiss. Amanda eagerly returned the kiss. "I love you too." He smiled at her.
SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU
Tracy was reaching into his locker to grab his books when someone slammed it shut. He jumped at the noise & turned to see who did it.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Lucy asked.
"I could ask you the same thing. You almost slammed my hand in there." Tracy hoisted his bag up on his shoulders.
Lucy looked around before grabbing his jacket and started pulling him down the hallway. Tracy yanked himself free but followed her. He knew that if Lucy decided she needed to talk to you it was going to happen and he didn't want any watching eyes. They walked outside towards the bleachers, Lucy threw her bag on to the bleachers. Tracy was just catching up when she threw herself towards him and hit him.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Tracy yelled, struggling back up.
"You called the fucking cops" She screamed back.
Shock covered Tracy's. He had almost forgot he reached out to Olivia.
"You don't even deny it!" Lucy tried to hit him again but this time Tracy was able to avoid it.
"You have no idea what is going on!" She was now pacing, panic in her voice.
"I have pretty good idea! I understand what you're going though Lucy! I went through the same thing." Tracy tried reaching out to her but she dodged his hand.
"Oh so that's what this is. You've got problems, must mean so does everybody. Listen just because you got fucked doesn't mean everybody else has!"
Tracy recoiled from Lucy's words. Regret flashed through Lucy's face so fast Tracy wasn't even sure he saw it.
Tracy picked up his bag from the ground. "I know you think you're protecting yourself and the people around you by not saying anything but you're not. If you continue down this path, that empty darkness will consume you. And the ones you love." Tracy got up in her face. "I know how terrify it can be tell someone about your pain. But if there is anyone who you could tell it'd be Olivia and Elliot." Tracy turned and walked away.
SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU
When Tracy walked back into school the halls were empty. Having missed the bell, he was going to be late for class. He could hear Lucy's footstep quietly behind him. He looked behind him. While she was following him to class she wasn't really paying attention to him. She was looking at the floor pushing her blue bangs out of her face.
"When did you turn hair blue?" He asked eyebrow raised.
"You just now noticed?" Lucy didn't look up at him.
"Well you know I was kinda distracted early." Tracy opened the door the classroom.
SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU
Sighing Tracy slouched in the chair that he was residing in, in the principles office. Having it be his first time late Tracy didn't get anymore then a warning but Lucy on the other hand wasn't so lucky. And once they saw the bruise blooming on his face and her red knuckles she got in even more trouble. In all honesty the only reason he was here was because he wouldn't admit that she hit him.
"Listen Tracy, I don't know what she said to you but if she hit you, you can tell me." The assistant principal leaned forward onto the desk.
"I already told you she didn't hit me!" Tray was getting irritated. "I trip on the bleachers and smacked my face."
"Stop covering for her! I know she did this." He pointed at Tracy's face. " Half of the fights that break out in this school is because of her."
"Well this isn't her." Tracy shrugged his shoulders.
"If she didn't hit you why is her hand red? And why were you outside with her? Where there is no way to see what actually happen?" The Assistant principal's face was getting redder by the minute.
"She wanted to talk in private."
"About what?"
"It's private. "
Tracy and the assistant principal were glaring at each other when the door opened and Ms. Hanagen walked in.
"Mr. Higgins, how lovely to see you. In my office and in my chair. If you would please leave I need to talk to my student." The woman said in a curt voice but a smile plastered on her face.
Mr. Higgins clearly not pleased about being dismissed stood up ad left.
"Mr. McGee, what a surprised to see you here. I've talked to Miss Sky and she refusing to tell me anything. Would you please spread some light on the subject?" She wiped off her chair from the invisible dust Mr. Higgins must of left before sitting down.
Tracy rolled his head in annoyance before answering. " Lucy wanted to talk about something in private. Once out there I tripped and smacked my face against the bleachers. That's it, end of story."
Ms. Hanagen took a deep breath. "Mr. McGee I know you're lying but I can't prove it. No one outside of you and Miss sky knows what happened and you're the only one talking so I have to take your word. I could call both of your parents and waste everyone's day but I think I'll just get the same answer from you all day. So I wont. I know you're protecting her. I don't know why but I am aware of your situation enough to guess you're not doing it out of fear. I feel like both of your days would be better spent in class learning, then in my office. You may return to class." She dismissed him.
Tracy shocked took a minute to get out of his seat.
"Oh and would please send Miss Sky in?" She asked once he was at the door.
When Tracy left the office he saw Lucy sitting with her arms crossed. He looked at the secretary's desk to see her gone.
"I fell on the bleachers." Tracy whispered to her as he passed her.
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