AN: Thanks for reading/reviewing etc.

An especially big thanks to Cami2186 who had reviewed every chapter so far – love it!

The next chapter is trying to burst through me so I am going to do a short AN and get back into it.

I am going to try to get it up tonight or tomorrow morning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own a multitude of Bingtang singlets.

Ch 10 – Come Clean

Come clean
you're gonna feel much better
Come clean
with me honey tonight
Haven't you got a little something to tell me
'Cause I know
where you was at last night

I heard it through a Chinese whisper
I heard, but I can't say who
Maybe there's something that
you wanted to tell me
Come clean, I wanna hear it from you

BPOV

"So Jacob is taking me to this dinner thing tonight" Lauren gushed from her massaged bed.

"Ah yeah, because I have Sam and now Bella has that guy with the messy hair…"

"Edward"

"So it's just you and Jake left, he has to take you, there isn't anyone else" Leah pointed out.

At first I thought Leah hated me, but the more time I spend with her the more I realise that she's just a bitch. I mean if she really hated me would she have invited me to the spa day today? On second thought maybe she just didn't want to be alone with Lauren, that's enough to drive anyone to put on James Blunt, sit in a bath and throw a hair dryer into it.

"So Bella, we have all totes been dying to know…"

"You've been dying to know" Leah corrected

"Well yeah whatevs, how is Edward in the sack, I bet he is amazing. He looks like he would know what he is doing. Don't you reckon Leah?"

"Fucked if I know"

"I mean a man that good looking would have no problems pulling chicks, maybe even 2 or 3 chicks at a time if that's how he rolls. I know I'd let him do whatever he wanted to me. Seriously how's the sex?" At this point I was glad that we were lying face down on a massage bed, this way the girls cant see that I am bright, bright red.

"I wouldn't know." I answered honestly. And hearing Lauren carry on about how experienced he would be was making me want to throw up. I was beyond nervous already and this wasn't helping at all.

"WHAT?" Lauren screeched, I could hear her sitting up and could feel her eyes in the back of my head. "What do you mean you wouldn't know…you have been on two dates with that god and haven't had sex with him?"

"Nope"

"Why?" Leah piped up, I could hear her sitting up now too. I was going to remain lying, hiding, until this conversation was well and truly over.

"I don't know, just haven't I guess."

"I'm actually going to agree with Lauren on this. How can you stare into those eyes and not want to just start removing all your clothing?" To say I am shocked is an understatement, that is the friendliest thing Leah has ever said to me.

"I do, trust me."

"Do whats with the lack o action then? Is he gay?" Lauren asked.

"No he's not gay."

"Are you gay?"

"No Lauren I'm not gay either."

"Ok, so what the fuck then?"

"You aren't going to give up til I tell you, are you?"

"Nope" They both said in unison. Under normal circumstances I would have never confided in anyone other than Alice about this stuff, unfortunately though Alice is not here and I am in dire need of a good girl talk.

"Ok, ok I'll tell you but can you both please lay back down, its really uncomfortable having you staring at the back of my head." I was unsure as to whether the masseuses that were in the room spoke English. Oh well, here goes.

"I don't even know where to start. Why don't you ask me what you want to know and I'll tell you."

"Have you at least kissed him?" Lauren asked immediately without having to think about it.

"Yes, of course I have kissed him."

"And?" I took a deep breath, they were going to want all the details so I might as well spill and be done with it.

"And it's freaking ridiculous, like firework, leg popping, knee weakening kissing. I can't even properly explain how it feels. When he kisses me the entire world fades to black and I cant think about anything but him, like we could be in the middle of a burning building I would be completely oblivious." I heard Lauren and Leah both sigh.

"What else have you done?"

"Nothing else, except last night I was laying on a day bed and Edward was drawing patterns on my bare legs, I had this overwhelming urge to straddle him so I did, we started to make out and I was grinding on him when he stopped me. He told me that he doesn't want me to loose my virginity on a da…"

"Sorry your what?" Lauren asked.

"My virginity"

"Seriously?"

"Yes"

"Sorry, it just shocked me, please continue with the story." She sounded confused as if she hadn't heard of a virgin before, she wasn't making fun of me she was just genuinely confused.

"So he said he didn't want me to loose my virginity on a day bed in a bar with people watching, so tonight he is renting a room so that we can…you know."

"Root" Leah the bitch is back.

"So you told him you were a virgin?" Lauren asked still baffled.

"Obviously."

"Interesting." I had an image of Lauren with her hand on her chin, stroking a fake beard while looking up contemplatively into the sky.

"And now thanks to you two I am shitting bricks more than ever now."

"Why because I said the he would be super experienced?"

"Yes Lauren, thanks for reiterating that."

"Bella, can I say something here?" Leah asked almost sweetly, I am getting whiplash from her mood swings.

"Sure"

"Seeing as my best friends are all blokes, I feel that I have a good insight into the way they think and let me tell you something, Edward really likes you. I am afraid that I was wrong about him."

"Hows that?"

"There aren't many guys out there that would have given a shit about you being a virgin, they would have fucked you right on that day bed, onlookers and all. He wants to make sure that your first time is pleasant and memorable for the right reasons, that means he cares about you…a lot. I mean he is what 21? It is perfectly acceptable for people our age to have one night stands and not think twice about it, and from what you're saying he could have done that with you…but he didn't."

"Or he is the biggest c-word in the world" Lauren added.

I thought about what Leah and Lauren had said, both were equally possible, I mean this could have been some huge ploy just to pop my cherry, I know enough about footy clubs to know that boys play those kind of games, something about bonus points for virgins and chicks over 120kgs.

"Bella, can I offer you some advice?" Leah asked. I could hear her sit up so I did the same looking her straight in the eye and nodding.

"My first time was with someone who was experienced and while it is terrifying that they have so many people to compare you to, at the same time they know what they are doing so there is none of that awkward fumbling and what not. Also he knows you're a virgin so will obviously take that into account."

"Yeah when you go all starfish on his ass. My first time was with another virgin"

"Well it would be difficult finding a non-virgin when your 12." Leah teased.

"14 thank you, and I think it is way better with someone else who hasn't done it that way your both uncertain and no one can blame the other."

"Thanks for all your help Lauren, really, you've been great." I laid back down feeling no better about the situation.

"You want help? At least you know the sex is going to be great and you're going to be one of those bitches that everyone hates who says that their first time was awesome. That is unless he is totes super massive and he rips you in two." I started to cough had to sit up so that I could breathe properly.

"Oh! My! God! You were holding out on us…it's huge isn't it? I knew it, you can tell by the way he struts that he is packing a monster."

"Bella?" Leah looked at me questioningly.

"I think it's huge, I mean I don't have a massive amount of experience in this department so I cant be sure, but when I straddled him last night, I could feel it pressed against me and it felt really big then." I had to hide my face from being so embarrassed.

"I knew it, I fucking knew it, I'm a dick whisperer." Lauren said in all seriousness causing Leah and I to burst into hysterics, even the massage girls laughed…they obviously know what dick is, what with happy endings and all that.

"You're a slut that's what you are!" Leah teased in between laughter.

"You say slut, I say dick whisperer." Lauren said now laughing too.

"You look beautiful sweetheart" Charlie praised as I walked out of the room showing off my outfit. Leah, Lauren and I had found the most amazing little boutique store, the dresses it had were phenomenal, I bought 3 and the most expensive one was $150AUD, amazing, they tailor them and everything. The dress I chose to wear is royal blue (Alice always says that my fair skin looks best in deep colours), it is strapless, straight neck line and tight fitted bodice. The bottom of the dress is gathered and ruffled and sits mid thigh, it's cute and a little sexy but still totally appropriate.

I did buy heels for the occasion, but not just any heels I bought Louboutin's. A $385AUD pair of red 4inch dillian flower pumps, they are so fucking gorgeous, I love my self sick in them. I immediately emailed Al and told her, I swear I heard her squeal from here, Charlie on the other hand nearly had a conniption when I told him how much they cost.

Charlie is wealthy and can well and truly afford it but he just doesn't see the point, I mean the mans worth millions and still buys homebrand shit… homebrand potato chips are the bomb though.

"I'd say 385 bucks well spent, wouldn't you?" I teased as I showcased my new favourite possession.

"You'd better wear them more than once, that's all I can say."

The ballroom looks awesome, each table has a gorgeous tropical centre piece. Charlie and I got ourselves a drink and then proceed to try and find our table.

"Charlie, Bella, over here!" Billy shouted from the other side of the room.

"Bella you look very pretty" Billy said as I greeted him. The others were already seated. I said my hello's and then took my seat next to Jacob.

"You look incredible" Jake said as I sat.

"Thanks Jake, you look good too." And he does, he is wearing a light blue cotton shirt which makes him look so tanned, I swear the second he steps into the sun he is already tanning up, I on the other hand avoid direct sunlight like the plague. I must be part vampire, my skin definitely burns in the light that's for sure, however I do really like garlic.

I kept scanning the room looking for Edward, tonight is going to be the big reveal. For the first time in my life I will be introducing a boy to my father and I am going to be shitting bricks, it would be a real shame to ruin such magnificent shoes. Jake must have sensed my nervousness because he grabbed my hand and started running his thumb across the back.

"Bella, Lauren told me that you are thinking about sleeping with Edward." He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I don't think that is such a great idea."

"Jesus Jake"

"No Bella you don't understand he isn't who he says he is"

"For god's sake Jake, seriously…"

"Bella, he is Edward Cullen." At first I didn't really register what Jake said, I just stared at him blankly.

"Cullen as in…"

"I know who the Cullen's are Jake" And then in timing only God himself could create, perhaps to punish me for taking his and his sons name in vein so often, Edward walked in the room, with Carlisle Cullen. Everything around me started to go fuzzy and distorted like it does right before I faint. My limbs feel numb and I am unsure that they will allow me to do what I want.

I stand so abruptly that I knock the table with my knee and send drinks flying, I can feel the eyes of the entire room look in my direction but I don't care, I need to get the fuck out of here. I grab my bag and head for the opposite exit to where Edward had entered, in the process I bump Billy and Charlie.

"Bella love, you ok?" Charlie asks grabbing my arm.

"I don't feel good" I answer honestly and then run from the room, pushing past the people in the doorway. I reach the outside and I realise that I hadn't been breathing, I double over sucking in air. I can't register any feelings, I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I am completely numb and the only thing running through my mind is Cullen, Cullen, Cullen. I lean over into the garden and throw up.

As I wipe my mouth I hear some call my name, instantly I am running again, without a destination in mind. I find my self standing at the top of the beach, I decide to go to the pool bar and get a coke to wash my mouth out, I then walk over and stand next to the cabana where Edward and I first met.

"You can go and get fucked" I say to the empty furniture, anger clearly the first emotion to break through the numbness. I sit in the abused cabana and take my shoes off, I then curl up and hold my legs to my chest. So much is running through my mind yet at the back Cullen is being repeated like a Gregorian chant.

How could I be so stupid? Why would he do that to me? What kind of sick motherfucker lets me talk about my mum dying and pretends not only to not know but to care about it, when his family certainly didn't. Was I part of some sick twisted game? I bet he would have got 42 million bonus points for fucking me.

I can hear him approaching from behind me, I know it is him by how hesitant the footsteps are, if it was Jake or Charlie they wouldn't be hesitant, they wouldn't have a reason to be. As I hear him approach the end of the cabana and stop, I swing around and slap him hard across the face. So hard that I wince in pain and immediately cradle my hand.

"I guess I deserve that"

"You guess? You fucking lied to me but not only that, you're a fucking Cullen?" I couldn't help but yell. I knew this anger would only last a little while before the tears took over and I needed to use the strength while I had it.

"Bella, I can explain, I…"

"Save it, I don't want to hear any more lies come out of your mouth."

"I won't lie then"

"How the fuck can I believe that? How can I believe anything you said to me? You fucking Cullen's are all the same. You only care about yourselves and just use people to get what you want and then spit them out."

"That's not true, I am nothing like my father." He countered raising his voice, I had obviously hit a nerve…good. "Well I used to be but I'm not anymore."

"What, you changed before or after you lied to me?"

"After. Bella please let me explain."

"Explain what? What reason could you possibly have for lying to me about who you are? Did you do it just so that you could sleep with me and then you and your father could laugh about how you both fucked a Swan." Edward lent forward and grabbed my face between his hands, pulling me closer to him so that I was forced to look into his eyes. Eyes that I once thought that I was falling in love with, that now disgusted me.

"Listen to me!" Edward growled which made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. "I promise that I will tell you the truth" I scoffed at him which made him hold my face tighter.

"Bella" he growled again. "The first night in the bar when we had those moments, I admit that yes I did just want to sleep with you. You were the hottest thing in the bar and the fact that I thought you had a boyfriend only made you more enticing. Back home I would do those sorts of things, I was so bored that I would set out to do these little challenges, like see how many chicks I could get into my bed at once or try and pick up women older than my mother."

He released my face and sat down beside me. I felt sick to my stomach that I had wanted to loose my virginity to him and had I not already thrown up I probably would have again.

"When I heard Sam call out your last name, I freaked out. I ran out of the bar, of course I knew who you were and the history between our families. But then I saw it as simply adding to the challenge, that as you said, I too could fuck a swan. I saw you that night with Jacob down here, something came over me, I wanted to rip his throat out, I didn't want him touching you."

I guess it wasn't Billy's smoke I could smell it was Edwards.

"I talked to you here that day with the sole intention of getting to sleep with me, the reasoning for taking you to Kuta was the same. On that trip it changed a little, I actually liked you as a person and thought you were a real cool chick. I found myself actually wanting to spend time with you and getting to know you. I still wanted to sleep with you and if you had offered I would have taken it and then probably left before you woke up."

I hadn't realised the anger had faded until I felt a tear run down my cheek.

"Bella, I haven't ever wanted to get to know a chick before…ever. Then when I kissed you at Poppies, that kiss was…unlike anything I had felt before. I tried to ignore it and still had intentions of just sleeping with you that night, especially after you chose me over Jacob. However it all changed that night, after you told me about being a virgin, I cared enough about you to respect that and it shocked me. Not that you are a virgin but that I cared. That night I kept waking up and just looking at you sleeping, Bella you are so incredibly beautiful you have no idea, that night made me begin to realise that perhaps I wanted you for more than just a root."

"At Engine Room, I guess it was confirmed how I felt about you, I really began to start having feelings for you. Then those two days apart, they nearly killed me, I wanted so badly to see you that I considered booking on that stupid pirate ship thing. I tried to tell you on both our dates who I was but I pussied out. I was starting to like you so much that I guess I wanted as much time with you as possible before I had to tell you and loose you."

I am so shocked, part of me is horrified and wants to slap him again but another part wants to throw my arms around him.

"Bella, you have changed me, in the short amount of time that we have known each other you have had a bigger impact on me than anyone I have ever met before. I have never done girlfriends or relationships, but now I want to. I have never wanted to factor a girl into my future, but now I do. I have never wanted to go to bed with someone and just talk or spoon, but now I do. I have never missed anyone before Bella, I haven't even missed my own parents but those two days without you were hard for me."

"And the worst part is that I have thrown that all away. I understand that you hate me and my family and I understand that you don't want anything to do with me anymore, but I needed you to know the truth. I can't stand the thought of you thinking that you had done anything wrong. I was the cock, I took advantage of how sweet and innocent you were and that's fucked up. I guess I just want you to know how sorry I am. If I had known that I would end up feeling this way about you I would have never lied to you at the start"

"But if you didn't I would have never given you a chance" I interrupted pragmatically. It is true, if I had known he was a Cullen I probably would have told him to get fucked and left, instead I met this incredible man who has completely swept me off my feet. I am so fucking confused, I can't deny the way I felt about him prior to 30 minutes ago but even harder to ignore is the fact that he lied to me. We both sat in silence for what felt like hours, I sensed that Edward was waiting for me to leave. The crying had subsided and I was finally able to think straight.

"I am not my mother or father and I wouldn't like to be judged accordingly. Your Father and Uncle betrayed Charlie, not you, so it would be unfair of me to have animosity towards you just because of your surname, I mean you were what 12/13 at the time. I hate liars Edward. I told you that on our date. Lying is something I will not tolerate in any aspect of my life. But in saying that, if you hadn't lied to me I would have never have gotten to know you. So how can I be angry at something I am thankful for?"

I paused and took a deep breathe to organise my thoughts, Edward remained quiet. Clouds had come over us so it is so dark that I can only make out Edward's silhouette, I can't see any of his features.

"I noticed that during your speech you were using past tense, so I am wondering whether your feelings have changed toward me and whether you still want to spend time with me?"

"I do, I definitely do Bella. I guess I just assumed that you would hate me and wouldn't want anything to do with me."

"That stuff you were saying about wanting a girlfriend, do you want that with me?" I felt a sudden surge of confidence and power. Here is this incredibly beautiful, god like man who should intimidate me but instead I have the upper hand, I'm calling the shots here. However that didn't mean I knew what I was going to do. My heart wants me to accept him with open arms where as my head wants me to be cautious and get more answers.

"Yes, I want everything with you." As the words left his lips my heart kicked into gear and tried to silence my head. My over thinking and calculating brain however fly kicked my heart back into place.

"Ok well this is where I see the issues, other than the obvious distance between our lives back home, our parents. Charlie is a very fair, open minded man with everything except your family. Charlie only really hates two things in life, brussel spouts and the Cullen's. He is all I have left Edward, he is my entire family, his opinion and approval matters to me. I don't know whether he is going to see past your name. Your family clearly hates me, how do you feel about that?"

"I don't fucking care what they think, they might have physically created me but they certainly aren't my parents. I actually envy you that. Charlie adores you, his entire life revolves around you whereas I am some distant planet that crosses paths with my parents occasionally. Bella, I promise that I will never ever lie to you again, if you will take me I promise that from now on it will be 100% honesty."

"Ok honestly, if I wasn't at the bat that night, would you have had sex with Lauren?"

"Yes" no hesitation.

"Eww, I don't actually know about this honesty thing anymore. So what are we going to do about this Charlie issue?"

"I will do whatever it takes. Bella I want to be with you not just in Bali, but when we get back home. Are you saying that you want to be with me too?" I didn't have to think about I knew the answer.

"Of course I do. You had me at I got the shock of my life when Robyn killed herself" We both laughed and Edward grabbed me in the dark pulling me into the most intense, passionate kiss of my life, it shook me to the core and I knew that I had made the right decision. How can you deny chemistry like that?

"I didn't get a chance to tell you how ridiculously stunning you look tonight." Edward said breaking the kiss.

"Thanks, I didn't take any notice of what you were wearing, sorry. Edward, umm…did you still rent out that room?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah but it's ok, I'll put it on Carlisle's credit card, so don't worry I wont be loosing any money."

"Actually I was wondering if we could use it…I mean if you want to"

"Are you sure you want to? I don't want you feel pressured into anything, as I said before I would be more than happy to just talk with you all night, or spoon, or watch terrible MTVAsia video clips, they are doing a Rain special at the moment, he is supposed to be the Chinese Michael Jackson…"

"Edward, shut up and take me back to the room."

AN: Ohhhh are they gonna get it on?

Thanks for reading - please review.

If any of you have an opinion on the virgin / non-virgin debate I would love to hear it.

My first time was with another first timer, there was plenty of fumbling and awkwardness but as Lauren said you are both the same so it doesn't matter.

I will put links up to the dress and shoes on my profile page.

Cheers

Court

oxox