Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. If I didn't put this every chapter would it mean, oh she owned Twilight and its characters back in Chapter 6, but now, she owns nothings. Recession = hard times.
So, incase you didn't notice, all chapter titles are songs and that song goes with the chapter. Merci beaucoup to my beta GNILS, because without you I would have grammatically faulty chapters and that's just not right. Thanks to everyone reviewing, i'll reply to all who review this time, and thank you to all those who just read this and everything. Thanks guys!
Song: Feel Good Inc.- Gorillaz
EPOV
"Happy birthday!" Was, not surprisingly, the first thing I woke to. Olivia came bounding onto my bed and stood there bouncing around and chanting it over and over. When she wasn't paying attention, the quilt covers still over my head, I caught her ankle and she squealed as she fell on the bed.
I pulled back the covers and grinned at her as she lay there in her pyjama's giggling, "Happy birthday, Daddy."
Ah, my birthday. It's rather sad it loses its appeal once you get to about fourteen. Well I don't know if that's true for everybody, but it is for me, other than certain ages, sixteen, eighteen, twenty one. They seemed to hold some importance, but looking back, I don't really know why. I guess they were the ages I thought I was growing up and then finally reached adulthood. Now that I'm here, I really wonder why I was so impatient. You don't have to work at sixteen, you don't have alcoholic ex-wives at eighteen and you don't have five year old daughters and a pregnant one night stand at twenty one.
But I guess that's ok, I'm twenty eight and if others were willing to make some kind of deal about it, then I wouldn't be the one to complain. Bring on the cake!
"I made you a card and Ali has presents!" I think Olivia was way more excited about today then I was and I wasn't even going to see her much of today either which I wasn't really ecstatic about.
She was going to school as usual and then staying at a friend's house in the evening because of the evening planned for me. So I'd have to make the most of her now seeing as, depending on how drunk I actually get, I may not be a functioning, amusing, sober daddy until Sunday... afternoon.
Pulling her closer to me so I sat with my arms wrapped around her, I went through all the birthday usuals. Alice came into my room and sat on the bed with the meticulously wrapped gifts and bags and so on. Some from family and friends, others from companies, clients, work etc. I think I got more presents now then when I actually was fourteen. I thought it was supposed to happen the other way round but oh well...
I let Livvy open most of my presents, she was more eager to do it then I was. Phil stood leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed, making little witty remarks at the overly expensive gifts I was receiving.
"Seriously Edward, if you sold all that stuff, I think we could save a third world country or something. Man, you got it good. That watch you got there is more than any present I think I've ever received. I think it's more than all the presents I've ever had added together. And that's just from Ali."
I snorted as I turned my wrist, looking at my new Rolex watch. I mean yeah, it would have been really expensive... but it was nice and I needed a new watch.
"My boy thinks you are God, you know. I can't complain, he says he's gunna get a job and make loads of cash so he can 'own my ass'. What a douche, 'own my ass' like he could ever do that... and then my daughter thinks you are a god. So does Carol... you're just loved in my house man, seriously. They barely see you and they all love you more than me!"
Olivia and Alice were fiddling with the various gifts I had received as Meg, the house cook, came upstairs with a tray of food for me, "Happy birthday, Edward." She said pleasantly with a warm smile on her face. Other than Phil and Alice, Meg was the only other person in the house who was quite close to the family. I mean the way to anyone's heart is through cooking.
She put the tray down in front of me and kissed my cheek before pinching Olivia's sides, "You. Pancakes in the kitchen, I'm making some. Are you coming?"
"Will they have smiley faces?"
The slightly rounded, middle aged woman laughed, wiping her hands on her apron and then adjusting her light brown hair into a bun, "Of course! What kind of pancakes don't have smiley faces? Who do you think I am? Seriously, kid."
I knew my daughter and she was skittish from the word 'pancakes' so when 'smiley faces' were added into the equation she was up like a rocket, tugging on Meg's hand to get her to move faster. Such simple yet utterly complex minds children have. I wish I got excited over pancakes with smiley faces, oh wouldn't life be grand.
"Meggy, c'mon, you're going too slow! I'm hungry!" She whined, looking as if she was using all her might to pull her and still wasn't getting very far.
"Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming. Christ, you'd think no-one ever feeds you and I know that's not true."
"Olivia, calm down, you're not going to starve. Get changed before you go downstairs, Meg hasn't actually made the pancakes yet, you've got time." She looked back over at me and let go of Megs hand, huffed and frowned at me before marching off to her room, shortly followed behind by Phil.
She was turning into a bit of a diva recently, no doubt I'd have to deal with that before it got too out of hand. Well I wasn't dealing with that today, today was my birthday. Today I didn't care. Today was Edward day, I refused to think any negative thoughts, I was just going to indulge in what life has to offer. Just for today. And apparently, one of life's indulgences was making itself known.
"Ok, I don't care if it's your birthday Edward, get washed, changed, move. You have half an hour. And stay out of Andrea's way, she's coming up to clean your room soon." Alice said whilst gathering bits of torn wrapping paper. I smiled to myself.
Andrea, one of the cleaners. I was never really around when the house staff did their duties, I was either at my apartment or working so I didn't see her often. The first time was a couple years ago when I was waiting around for Tanya in our room, she just came in, cleaned and left. The second time was a lot like the first except she smiled at me. The third time I smiled back. By the sixth time I saw her, Tanya and I weren't together anymore, we weren't divorced yet but Tanya had gone to L.A. I was bored and lonely and so was she, and well, a man has needs... Andrea was definitely an indulgence. And it was my birthday. She was fun.
I got out of my bed as Alice left, Olivia ran passed my open door saying something about happy birthday, pancakes, school and seeing me some time tomorrow. Phil was trailing behind her carrying her shoes. She had the man wrapped around her finger. More so than any of his own children but then they were much older, probably as much as she had me. I thought it was rather funny, she'd totally softened him although he didn't like to admit it.
I pulled her back by her wrist before she started going down the stairs and placed a big slobbery kiss on her forehead which she really didn't appreciate, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to see her until the next day now. Returning to my room, I shut the door and got in the shower. I hated this shower, I always thought too much in the shower and today I wasn't going to think, because thinking went to Bella and where she would be in the next hour or so... Just don't think, I kept telling myself, it's your birthday, everyone loves you today, and there's the party tonight, that'll be fun.
Still, thoughts of what Bella was doing lingered in the very back of my head and as hard as I pushed, they never quite went away. They didn't go away, but apparently things could block them out which was good. Steam from the bathroom filtered out into my room as I came out, a towel wrapped around my middle whilst I used another to dry my hair.
"Finally. God, you better not have made a mess in there, I've got to clean that." I looked up when I heard the familiar voice and smiled.
There was Andrea, standing with her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised, wearing her usual cleaning outfit, short grey dress, white socks and white tennis shoes. She was pretty, tan skin, brown eyes, very dark brown hair, always in a ponytail. She had this confidence in her, I knew she did from actually talking to her, but it was obvious in the way she held herself too. Yeah, she had her problems, I had mine, we messed around and thought nothing of it. It wasn't an emotional thing at all, although she was a pretty decent person.
"No, I haven't actually so you can stop looking at me like that." I stopped drying my hair and she huffed, snatching the towel out of my hands before giving me a flirty smile.
"Hm, maybe I should snatch that other towel from you too..." I shrugged, looking down at it and then back at her. She sauntered over to me and traced her fingers down my bare chest, "You've been working out. Huh. It's been a while Edward."
"Yeah, well, you know how it is." I smirked at her as she kissed my chest.
"Happy birthday. I have a present for you." She whispered seductively, taking one of my hands, gripping and putting it under her dress, letting me cup her. She moaned momentarily, her eyes playful and lively and her full lips parted and waiting. Raising both my eyebrows, I looked at her in surprise and approval,
"Ah, no underwear. I like." Yes, this would definitely work as a distraction...for now.
BPOV
I was so nervous. So, so nervous. I mean, I'm always nervous, but now I was super anxious. Anxious to the max. I'm not really one for meeting people just for the sake of meeting people, so I was nearly pissing my pants at the thought of meeting people who would possibly prove to be majorly important. In my life anyway, in this baby's life. And I didn't know how I felt about that. I didn't know if I was more scared of them being horrible people and having to find a different family, or if they were perfect in every single way possible... ever.
"You won't have to be here for long, just really getting you a feel for meeting families if you choose to see multiple. It's still early days, no one's expecting you to make any decisions right now, you've got plenty of time. Are you ready?" Am I ready? No. Will I ever be ready? I don't know. Do I know what I'm doing right now? No. Do I need a cigarette and a glass of rose? Yes.
I looked to Tracey, my social worker who was working with the adoption agency. She was a really smiley woman which I'm sure was supposed to relax me, but I was only getting more apprehensive. We were standing outside of a small room, Tracey had her hand on the door knob awaiting my reply. I'd picked this couple to see, they said they'd prefer a face-to-face meeting even though it was early days, and I didn't really mind until now. I'd forgotten, god knows how, how socially inept I was. And I didn't want to give them a bad impression of me...
Oh hell, I hadn't even thought about that.
What if they hated me? What if they thought they were too good for me? What would happen then? What if they thought I wasn't attractive enough so I'd have an ugly baby? If they knew the father, they would see that despite how many bad genetics I might encompass, my traits would hopefully be recessive and his dominant. If that's the case, they have nothing to worry about because they'd have a beautiful child. Yeah...
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, trying my best to pep myself up, what would be the point in turning back now? Nothing was being set in stone, we were just meeting, and I'd ask a few questions and they'd probably ask a few too. I actually hoped they'd be doing most of the talking because I would not have a clue what I was supposed to be saying.
No wait, I can't do this. No, yes I can. Oh fucking hell.
Where the hell is Rose now? Or even Edward? I know he wouldn't want to be here though, I wouldn't want him to be here either really. Today of all days. I mean what a fucking birthday present Bella, 'So I'm going to find the people I'll give our child away to today which will probably leave you miserable, heartbroken and hating me, but hey, happy birthday!'
Tracey put her hand on my back as she opened the door and then stepped aside, leaving it open for me to walk in first. The room was medium sized, it had cream walls and the usual paintings these sorts of places have. There were also two sofas opposite each other and a glass coffee table in between. A young couple was seated on one and on seeing me enter stood up and smiled. Crap, I didn't know what to do already, my heart was all over the place so I settled with just timidly smiling back.
Tracey came in beside me with her freakishly wide smile and looked at all of us, greeting the couple and introducing them to me before we carried on.
The man stuck his hand out to me, a warm grin on his face, "Hi, my name is James Eripmav and this is my wife Victoria."
The young woman standing just to the side of him with long, fiery red hair eagerly came forward a bit and put her hand into mine, "Thank you so much for coming to see us. I mean I understand that your still in the early stages of pregnancy but this is the furthest we've ever got with anyone already, and I know this doesn't really mean anything right now, but I'm just so excited. So thank you."
Seriously, don't thank me just yet. You might not like me... I might not like you.
"Well I thought you looked like the best couple out of the ones I saw, so... yeah." Mm, great line there Bella. Here's hoping the baby doesn't contract my moronic genes... wow, I feel so sorry for it.
It was all smiles and talking from there really. They asked me questions, I asked a few too. I became more talkative as they told me more about themselves and vice versa, but by more talkative I mean I began constructing proper coherent sentences instead of a few mumbled words.
They both had large families; James' family had originated from Eastern Europe which I supposed explained the surname... and Victoria's was from Canada. From what I could tell, and obviously what they told me, they were from a lot of "old money" and could very easily financially support a child and give it everything and anything it may ever want ever. I think most people think that when you give your child up for adoption, that all the couples are going to rich, educated, happy, but as I knew from reading the files, that really wasn't the case.
It really was with these two though, and the thought was somewhat comforting. And also the fact that neither of them seemed particularly snotty about it, Victoria clearly stated that she was all for enforcing correct morals and values in life and wouldn't want a child to be an overly spoilt brat. I think I must have let out a huge sigh of relief because I would hate if someone made this child to be like that.
She was an artist, he was a business man. He liked the theatre she liked rock'n'roll. They had an English bulldog called Basil who had a love of cats, vegetables and children. A dog that loves cats, wow. She liked to ride, he did karate. They were so random and I think I loved them. I think I really did.
Victoria was like everything I wasn't but wanted to be. I found myself just staring at her and thinking where the fuck did I go wrong in my life? Like seriously, what the fuck? I could have been an artist or something; I could have had a good life and married a millionaire... ok maybe not that bit, but I could have stayed on at school, I could have been happy. I could have been her. And I could have kept this baby.
"Early days" everyone kept telling me. "You can still change your mind" yeah, yeah, I knew all this, and I know I should still be wary until the end of the first trimester, but I was basically in the second, and I know I didn't have to make any crazy decisions now and I wasn't, I just really liked the sound and look of these two.
That's a good thing, right? Because I think it's good. But if it's so good, why do I feel like... shit?
---
"So you liked them then?" Rose said while flicking through various brightly coloured bras and pushing Seth around in his stroller.
"Yeah, I did..."
"Good, are you going to go any further with them or keep looking around?" I shrugged whilst looking at the collection of bras in my hand.
"Maybe, I don't know. Hey, you know your brother turned up at my door the other day."
Rose stopped and turned to look at me rather confused. It was random, I know, I was there, "Really? Why?"
"I don't know..." Yes you do you moron, you were there! "He asked if he could document my pregnancy in pictures or something, for some project he's working on, I don't know..." That wasn't all he'd said but I wasn't going to bring that all up in the middle of this store. He hadn't said much else, he just put things into clearer sight... actually he made things possible more confusing in a less confusing way... well I know what I mean, it was weird but I suppose I appreciated it, whatever it was. Jasper put things into some complex form that was somehow easier to digest. I suppose I could talk to him more at these photo shoot things now maybe.
She turned and continued prowling the rails for apparently 'suitable' underwear, which I thought was just ridiculous because no one was going to see it, a plain white or black on would be fine, "Huh, didn't ask me when I was pregnant, I didn't even know he knew you were, Emmett doesn't... what did you say?"
"Edward must have told him or something... I said fine, I mean why not, if he was using it for work or whatever and he's a famous photographer, I figured he could probably get something good, even if he was using me...hey that's going to be way too big." I inspected the bra she'd just handed to me. I mean c'mon, I know I was bigger, but surely not by that much.
She looked me up and down dubiously before groping my boobs and sighing, "Bella, have you looked at yourself recently? Have you felt these recently? That will fit you, you're spilling out of the one you've got on." It was true, this bra was nearly unbearable, I could see myself blobbing over through my top. Not cool.
"Ah!" I began swatting her hands away, looking around the shop to see if anyway had witnessed me being molested, apparently not, "Well now I just feel violated. And no, surprisingly enough I don't measure my boobs daily."
My god, I felt like I was thirteen again when Rose had to take me to get my first bra. God, that was embarrassing. In fact I'm not even going to relive the memory else I may well have to suffocate myself with the cup of this bra I have in my hand now. Cringe. I still hate the 'intimates' section, don't even get me started on lingerie shops.
She threw some more at my head while scanning around for others, "I guess you should start with maternity clothing soon." Oh god, maternity clothing? A step closer to becoming an elephant/whale/other large mammal.
On some blissful days I forget that probably in a few more months I will actually resemble a beached whale, but then I'd get up and try to prise the zip of my skinny jeans up and just fail and then I'd remember. Oh yeah, I'm pregnant and I'm hungry again. Just a few months. I was going to be fat, I was going to get fatter and fatter and fatter and then when this was all over, I was still going to be fat. Well maybe not, but I wasn't going to be the same skinny me. Goodbye skinny me, I loved you, I'll miss you.
I don't want to say farewell to my skinnies. What was I expected to wear now? I don't want to be a whale. I don't want to be taken away and made into Haribo...
I was majorly bloated at the moment, which at the worst of times made out a faux bump. I'm sure it was more fat than baby though, in the past few weeks I swear I'd eaten double my own body weight and I had gained weight, I know I had, I could see it. The scales in my bathroom sat and taunted me every day I came out of the shower, "Come over here Bella." They said, "Come and let us show you how much of a fat bitch you are already. How many pounds have you put on this week? Twenty? Twenty five? A hundred?" And I'd glare and never venture to that corner of the room. The scales remained in the shadows for now, where they belong, the evil fuckers.
My 'bump' wasn't anything noticeable. I noticed it obviously, I'd gone from skinny to not being able to do up my pants so well, of course I noticed. I suppose it just looked like I'd put some weight on to everyone else, which I had, so I didn't mind so much... yet. The thought of maternity clothing was just depressing though. I saw some people rushing to buy some as soon as they found out they were expecting, but why celebrate the loss of skin that bounces back into shape? Rose showed me enough, she was still beautifully slim, but even she wasn't what she was.
I wanted to cry while others were popping fucking champagne bottles.
Different situations though I guess. I mean I'm not condemning their happiness, they have plenty to be happy about. I'm just mopey and confused and irritated and scared and sad and fucking hungry. I'm always so hungry! Good news, I hadn't been sick today. I was happy about that, my morning sickness was slowly coming to a halt as I entered the second trimester, fuck yeah!
"Your boobs are about the same as mine now... wow, you've grown really quickly already, that's weird. They might get bigger you know." Bigger? No! I miss my boy boobs already.
"Rose, can we hurry up, I've gotta eat and this is boring and I'm slightly disturbed by your boob groping. They're tender enough as it is without you attacking me."
"I'm just trying to find bras that'll fit you best, I mean we could always just have you measured and then-"
"No! Fine... just, food soon, please." Bitch, I was not getting measured, no way not after.... nooo bad memories, bad memories!
"Yes, ok little girl. Give me those and find something to amuse yourself or something and mommy will buy you something from Starbucks after, but only if your good." I handed her all the bras I had in hand and narrowed my eyes.
"Don't patronise me, Rosalie. And anyway I've got to get something so I'll be back. And you owe me a Starbucks now, just so you know."
"Whatever. You can tell me all about your little meeting over coffee and... Oh no wait, you shouldn't be drinking coffee should you. That's a shame."
Ok, list of things I hated already about pregnancy: eating myself out of house and home, pissing an ocean every fucking day, every five minutes, puking, crying, getting fat, no smoking, no alcohol, no coffee. I seriously was suffering without my morning cup, I never really thought about it before but without caffeine I found myself to be somewhat high-strung. I don't think the hormones helped either. I thought you were supposed to feel wonderful when pregnant? Yeah, right.
She grinned at me evilly while I huffed and turned to leave the shop, "Fuck you, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pregnant." Asshole.
EPOV
Work was work, birthday or no birthday. Everything was as it was but we had cake which was no doubt the best part of the whole day so far.... ok that was a lie. It was definitely up there with Andrea though. And possibly Megs breakfast this morning. And my mom calling to wish me well. Ok, so just generally today everything had been pretty good. Edward day was awesome so far.
Well not totally awesome, I had to keep myself distracted so I didn't think about Bella. I thought that would be easy, it's not like I didn't have anything to do, I had lots to do and me just being me, and it being my birthday I spent the majority of the day enduring constant flirting by female colleagues. Even a few male colleagues. Yeah, apparently everyone wanted a piece of me today. So generally speaking everything was fine, it was the evening when things started to get messy. Well, chaotic anyway... for Alice more than me actually, but her stress was mine.
"Oh my god, apparently they don't have the bloody guest list at the door, what the hell?! I told them to do this hours ago! Seriously, if you want something done around here you've just got to do it your fucking self. God! I'm so stressing out right now, oh my god... At least you're ready on time." She paced my room muttering away and making calls whilst I slipped on the jacket of my suit.
My god I loved this suit. It was fucking beautiful. In the top five beautiful things, them being: my daughter, my Aston, my bed, probably Bella and this suit. I slipped my phone into my pocket remembering then that she would call me later and I'd promised to pick up. And I would.
There was a knock at the door and a blond mop in a suit peered round, "Ah, my main man. Happy birthday, Edward." He came in with that damn smile he had, he was always so smug, what did he even have to be smug about? I raised an eyebrow and chuckled as he shook my hand, "Yeah so I got you two presents, one will get here in like, I don't know, two days? Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week. The other... I don't know, but you'll get it. Some time in the future." Oh gee thanks.
"It's not a stripper is it?" I asked with raised eyebrows, it wouldn't be the first time and he always sends them on random days when my birthday's already gone.
He laughed, clearly having the same memory as I was, "No man, that was the past, I got you something good this year. Trust me." He winked before turning round to face Alice who was grinning back at him like a Cheshire cat.
"Ah, Alice you are looking beautiful as ever." Oh god, here we go, the two of them were just freakin' terrible, it was like, we can all see what's going on here, just shut up and fuck. Alice tried to convince me nothing was going on, and Jasper didn't kiss and tell but, he-llo. They were my best friends, I think I'd know.
She giggled and bit her lip, "Thank you. You're looking rather charming yourself." And Alice was just so obvious. A second ago she was ranting and raving, now she's all 'Oh my god, Jasper I love you, you're so charming, ooooh'. My god, you would have thought this stopped at high school. Yeah, ten years ago, apparently not...
He went closer to her scanning her up and down with his eyes and then span her around, watching her intently as she went round, and eyeing up her satin green cocktail dress. "Green is definitely your colour. I love it. It's my favourite, on you anyway."
"Really? It's Cavalli." As if she didn't already fucking know.
"It's beautiful, like you." He said kissing her hand. These two just killed me. She giggled in her girly way and I had to roll my eyes, hey remember me, my birthday? They were pulled out of their googly eyed, drool stare as Alice's phone began to ring and she groaned.
"Hey what's up?" He asked, frowning just as she did.
"Party stuff. People doing things wrong, you know how it is." I scoffed, rolling my eyes and Jasper turned to look at me and then back to Alice.
"Don't worry sweetheart, I'll help you sort it all out, I'm sure everything's fine." Yeah, I'm pretty sure she needs help sorting something out, and I don't think it's the party...
"Oh Jasper, you don't have to..."
"No, I insist."
"Wow, you're such a fucking gentleman." I murmured, glaring at Jasper as he took Alice's arm and linked it through his own. The thing is, he was such a fucking gentleman it almost killed me. He just got everything fucking right. He was just so knowing. Always had been, even when we were in high school. What an asshole.
"Ok kids, lets roll, Alice has stuff to do and I need to help. Tonight I plan on getting royally trashed and not remembering anything at all in the morning. Edward, I wouldn't recommend it, we know what happened last time... Alice my dear, we shall dance the night away and everyone will get happy and then still be drunk when Monday morning rolls round again. But I'm all for brunch tomorrow morning if you're up for it? Cheers, birthday boy." He winked again as he lead Alice through the door.
I sighed, checking my pockets for everything I needed and when I was satisfied I had my phone, my wallet, not that I'd needed it, and whatever else lurked in my pockets, I followed behind. Might as well get this show on the road.
---
Half nine we arrived at the club. Of course I had to be fashionably late seeing as it was my party. This basically meant I was sitting around in the limo while Alice and Jasper sipped off hand in hand to sort whatever it was they had to sort out. I looked at my phone and figured Bella would call around the same time she called yesterday, so I slipped it back into my pocket and waited for Alice to give the all clear to come in. Which she did no little than five minutes later.
I had to do the whole 'Hey, it's my birthday!' thing, I felt like one of those kids on My Super Sweet Sixteenth or whatever, except it was my Super Sweet Twenty-eighth, doesn't really have the same ring to it. So I waltzed in just as Alice had asked me to do and there was all this music and hoards of cheering people, half of them I knew, half of them were clearly the other halves plus ones or something. But then again Alice had invited everyone anyway.
The club was all decked out with drapes and lights and loads of stuff and people. Stuff and people. People and stuff. I'm sure it was all amazing but I didn't really care much for these kinds of things, but I played along because I knew it would make Alice happy and hey, it was my birthday.
So I greeted everyone nicely, I laughed along to jokes, I drank champagne, I blew out my candles, I socialised, I even danced for a bit but then decided I wasn't drunk enough to 'get crunk'. I did everything I was supposed to, and I didn't even hate it. Still, I found myself just waiting for the time when Bella would call. Every now and then I'd pull my phone out to see if she'd called already and I'd missed it. Not that I would, it was on vibrate in my breast pocket of my jacket, I'd feel it go off.
Ten thirty five, I was sitting at the bar, chatting to people I didn't really want to be chatting with and drinking more champagne. I could see Alice and Jasper off dancing somewhere and I couldn't help but smile at the two. Why they weren't married with kids already, I do not know. They were so damn good together as well, and Alice thought she was hiding her little crush well, psh.
"Hello birthday boy." I smiled seeing as I recognised the voice and when I spun around to see who I knew it was I found my face squashed between two breasts. Not just any breasts, Jessica Stanley's breasts, and my god, happy birthday me! Still, for the sake of being polite I pulled back a bit and apologised.
"It's alright, handsome. I thought you fit quite nicely actually..." Oh, so this was how it was going down then hm? I knew Jessica, she was a flirt, and her tits were 100% fake but no one cared, she was hot. A little slutty perhaps, but hot nether the less. I'd never touched her personally, but she was in it to win it, I knew it, she knew it, and anyone looking our way knew it too. I glanced at my watch, I had time. I looked back at her as she swirled the drink she held.
"Twenty minutes." I said, crooked smile in place and hand held out.
"Oh come on, half an hour, I think you should really enjoy this present." She pouted at me, her plump bottom lip sticking out, glossed in bright red.
"Twenty minutes." I repeated, raising my eyebrows. Really, twenty was my final offer, I was just 'indulging' here, I didn't need to fuck her right now. Staring at her tits from a distance did me just fine. And anyway, after twenty minutes Bella was going to call, I'd been waiting all night for that call and I'd rather talk to her anyway.
Jessica put her hand into mine and sighed, a cheeky smile still on her face, "Fine. I'll make it worth your while."
I skimmed her body with my eyes as we swerved through the crowds of grinding, dancing and kissing people. Tight and short cream dress, emphasised her boobs which were of course her biggest assets. Her brown hair dead straight around her face, probably a ton of make-up. Nice legs, nice figure. Yeah, Jessica was hot, but without her boobs she was just average, nothing special, not particularly interesting to talk to, not very funny, not really intelligent. This is why we had her on reception at work, she drew people in. On a fuck, marry or miss, Jessica was definitely a fuck. Jessica sans boobs? Probably a miss. Sorry.
We found our way to a VIP lounge which was currently unoccupied other than a bouncer standing outside of it. The walls were soundproof thank god, which meant no music was coming in here and no sounds were going out there. After making sure he wouldn't let anyone in until we'd left we got down to business. My jacket was off, her dress was hitched up, my pants were unzipped, her panties were down.
On a usual day I would think, 'Tsk tsk Edward! Don't do it, she's easy', but today wasn't usual, it was celebrate being single twenty eight year old Edward Cullen day so I was thinking, 'Well why the fuck not, live a little'. I was sober enough this time to actually check, double check, triple check I had a condom on. No way was I doing that again not after I'd already got Bella pregnant and messed her up or whatever when she... didn't... even...
Fuck, Bella.
Is it messed up that I'm fucking another girl whilst thinking about the girl I knocked up? Because I am now. And I think it is.
Ah crap, Bella thoughts usually slow me down. I really have to stop to think, she brings a lot to mind. I could feel my head clouding over with all these questions, all these thoughts, all of her. It was like I could smell her near me, like I could hear her cursing softly underneath me instead of Jessica. And when I looked it was her. It wasn't Jessica, it was Bella and... woah, ok, I need to stop with the champagne.
"Edward... harder..." Jessica moaned whilst she gripped my sides, her nails digging into my skin causing me to groan loudly. It wasn't that it felt good, quite the opposite really. From what little I could remember, when Bella had done it, it felt good, with Jessica now, it just fucking hurt. And anyway, shut up Jessica, it's hard to imagine you as someone else when you do so much talking. Stop with the talking, get to the coming so I can go.
"Edward, faster!" Fucking hell, she's so needy, and to be honest, I really wasn't in the mood now. I just wanted to go home, I was bored of all of this. This party, these people, everything. I appreciated they were all here for me but I just wanted my phone call now.
Needless to say, it was another fifteen or minutes or so until I finally came. Other than her boobs, which were a lot of fun, Jessica was pretty boring. She wasn't great, she wasn't bad, she was just there. And anyway, I had a phone to get to. She sat up on the leather seating we'd just been on, a wide grin on her face as she adjusted her clothing.
"Wow. Thanks, gorgeous." She knelt up and kissed my cheek, grazing her painted nail across my skin before flicking her hair and tossing her hips as she strutted out of the door.
I picked my jacket from the floor and searched the pocket for my phone and holy shit, two missed calls. From Bella. And I'd said I'd pick up the phone. I promised I would. And I didn't cause I was fucking miss I've-got-big-tits-but-It'll-take-you-a-year-to-come. Fucks sake Jessica.
I stood up and slipped my jacket back on as I wandered over to the door, still just staring at my phone. I should just call her back or something. And apologise but then again, these calls were from twenty minutes ago. Twenty whole minutes! I said twenty minutes to Jessica, if I'd known it would have taken me that long to come I wouldn't have bothered at all. I mean really, what did I even get out of that? I was just thinking about Bella. And anyway, I want to find out what happened today. I'm calling here back now, done.
I was just about to press the call button when Alice pulled me from the doorway, a bit too happy, "Edward! Are you having fun?! I am having so much fun, I've been dancing with Jasper all night." Then she whispered really loudly, you know, the way drunk people do, "I really like him you know, and I know, I'm a stuck up bitch sometimes but he makes me happy. Do you think he likes me? I never really know... Anyway, you have to come and meet these wonderful people because they haven't said happy birthday to you yet!"
"Alice, I really just want to make this ca-"
"Edward, you can call people anytime! Stop being anti-social and come on!" She giggled and took my hand,
"Alice, please."
"No, you're coming. Edward, they're really funny, believe me darling you'll love them, I know what you like." I sighed and reluctantly let her drag me away. Apparently Bella could wait.
BPOV
He didn't pick up. And I called twice. I decided any more than two was just sad and he'd probably think I was some pathetic creep who he had accidently given his number to, just to be nice, except now I wouldn't stop calling. And that just wasn't true.
I wasn't upset, I know he'd promised but I wasn't going to hold a grudge or anything. It was his birthday, he was at his party, it was a bit selfish of me to actually think he would pick up to be honest. Why would he want to stop having fun at a party to just be depressed and talk to me? There seemed little logic in it, so the whole thing unfazed me. I wasn't going to lie though, I did really really wish he'd picked up, just so I could hear his voice, despite what it was saying, just his voice would do. That was some shit I needed on a voice recorder so I could hit replay whenever I got bored or lonely. Maybe if I was lonely I could just talk to the voice even though there was no Edward for the words to come out of...
No, that would just be depressing, as if my life would come to that. I'd preferably talk to my cat- still weird? Not as weird, at least he's actually there and listening to me.
I'd tried to get to sleep but it just wasn't happening, I was so uncomfortable, my damn boobs! I just couldn't sleep right, even on my side where it wasn't so bad, I couldn't sleep. I just tossed and turned and rolled around in my bed. Hammy had chosen to sleep next to me but I forgot he was there, and so in my attempt to find comfort, I rolled on top of him eliciting a loud screech and generally scaring the shit out of both of us. What was worse was that I was actually tired, I was really tired, I just didn't get. If I'm tired, why no sleep? I thought one came from the other?
I got up after that, I needed to piss again and I was hungry. Again. Midnight snacks were becoming a bit of a usual nowadays, I didn't really think much of it, I quit moaning I just ate. And food was comforting anyway, not that I had much of it. I really needed to go get groceries. After picking up a back of chips, I mooched over to the sofa and brought the laptop that sat on my coffee table to my lap and opened it up.
I refrained from googling anything to do with pregnancy unless I really had to. The stories, the details, it just freaked me out. I especially didn't want to know details, so I just sat on YouTube and watched stuff. Soon the chips were gone and I was still hungry, still I started with Charlie the Unicorn, then I moved to those video's with Will Ferrell and his niece, then I watched some random 'Cats Do The Funniest Things', and seriously, they really do. Then I decided to just laugh at some Lolcats because they got me every time, I bet I could make hundreds with Hammy. When he's half asleep he reminds me of a wise old man about to tell me something profound. I have to admit, a few times I sat staring at his face for ages, wondering if maybe this time he actually would. He never did. He just fell asleep or stared me down. One time he 'mow'ed, apparently he couldn't be bothered with the 'e'.
I was having a lot of fun. Until I did something.
I don't know what I did, but I did something and it fucked up the laptop.
I think it may have been overheating as well, it had been doing that for some time now I just left it for a while. But now the screen had gone funny and I was pressing stuff, not that I knew what to press because I'm not an IT technician, I don't do computers. And then it made this noise and then there was smoke and then I got scared. And it poofed again and there was more smoke and I ran around with it whilst shrieking for a while. I didn't know what I was doing. Was it going to erupt into flame? Was it going to blow up the whole apartment? How the fuck did I know. All I knew was I had something hot a smoking in my hands.
So, I put it in the sink. Possibly the stupidest thing to do, but there was smoke, when there's smoke I think fire, when I think fire I think water. Electrics and water? Ok, I did not think about that. So whilst in some mentally retarded state of shock and panic, I ran water over it, which of course made sparks and then it actually exploded. It was only a poof, there weren't flames or a mushroom cloud but that was no doubt the very end of my laptop. Goodbye friend.
Staring blankly at the ruined electrical mess in the sink, I began to cry. I didn't mean to break it, and I don't think I had the money to get a new one any time soon. What was I going to do now? I was going to miss all the funny videos on YouTube. How was I going to check the daily update of Lolcats? How the hell was I going to survive in life without Wikipedia? Or Urban Dictionary? My god, I'm screwed.
I cried because I was feeling pretty useless and stupid, who puts a laptop in the sink for gods sake? I noticed all of the smoke now filling my apartment and decided to open the windows before the smoke alarm went of. Smoke alarm in the middle of the night is just real shitty. To be honest it was really hot anyway so the windows being open was a bit of a relief, I was wearing just a pair of boy shorts and a tank top and I was still hot. I slumped down on the sofa again feeling pretty stupid and sad and in a smoke filled room.
Something banged against the door. It wasn't a knock, it sounded more like someone was kicking it with their foot. And I just wasn't in the mood to go and see. Plus at this time of night, it would be some drunk or someone trying to kill me, or rob me, possibly both, possibly all three.
I heard it again, why are they using their foot? I sniffled, rubbing my hand over my nose before standing and cautiously moving towards the door. I looked through to see who it was and then I checked again, and again, even though it was still the same person there.
I stood back for a second staring at the door before slowly opening it, completely perplexed.
"Hi. I didn't wake you did I? I'm really sorry I missed your call and... I brought food?"
Edward is not a man whore, he is simply indulging on his birthday... ;) Don't judge. Or do judge. Still, tut tut! Ew Jessica. Even Bella was drawn to her boobs (chapter 6) haha! They're like magnets. Did anyone notice James and Victoria's surname is 'Vampire' backwards? I know right, sneaky. Anyway, I'm sorry for the delay in updating this, give me a load of reviews though, just 'cause ;) No but really, do. Please. Right now i'm melting it is SO hot, the past three days have been torturous and wonderful. How does that work?We're having a heatwave! It's 32 degree's! (about 90 degrees fahrenheit)
Ok, well I hope you liked it, review on the usual- likes, dislikes, queries. I know where I'm going and how I'm getting there now, before I could see the place but I had no path to follow, no I do, it's all good :) ALSO, Glastonbury looked AMAZING my friends said it was, can't believe I didn't go... also, Wimbledon, I'm so proud of Murray! Woo. Ok, end. Review.
You know you love me, XOXO
P.S. If you don't know what Lolcats are, google it, always cheers me up haha.