"Are you ready to begin?"

The creaky voice made Katashi swallow hard. He pressed his palms against the chair seat on either side of him to hide the small tremors that hinted at the turmoil of nerves inside him right now. Unable to speak, he gave two quick nods of his head, his newly cut hair flopping into his face irritatingly.

"Young man," the older shinobi frowned so sharply it looked like his wrinkles were going to pop right off his face. "I asked you a question."

"H …hai!" Katashi responded balefully, his eyes rounded.

The older man sighed and rubbed his rheumy eyes. "Then pick up your pencil and begin."

Katashi nodded and reached for his pencil, but hesitated before opening his test packet. Taking a deep breath, he tried to banish the thought of disappointing everyone. More than a little queasy, he began to read the first page.

Question 1: What are the levels of ninja currently in use in Konoha?

Question 2: Name the different Hokages in order since the village's formation.

The young Hyuuga blew out a breath as he started to relax. He gave a sidelong glance at the young girl sitting across the room from him. At least she looked nervous too as she held her eyes closed a long moment, then opened her own test. He smiled as she smiled. This wasn't going to be too bad after all.

Katashi's pencil fairly flew as he breezed through the first two questions before moving on. Suddenly, his brows furrowed. He peeked over at the girl across the room, but she was still smiling and writing down her answers. Obviously she'd not gotten to where he was yet. Looking back down at his own test, he reread the next few questions, hoping he'd misread them along the way. But no he hadn't and the nausea from this morning returned in full force.

Question 3: What were the original concessions of the Daimyo Lords in the building of Konoha? Explain how the first Hokage was able to ensure those concessions and date when the treaties where written, and again when they were ratified. Be specific.

Question 4: Name the three styles of kunai available to non-specialized ninja at the genin level. Explain their differences and similarities.

Question 5: Name the five different metals and/or alloys used in the creations of those kunai and explain the usefulness of each configuration. Discuss the ratios of the alloyed metals and how the variances affect the trajectories of such weapons.

What? What? WHAT? Katashi felt his heart speed up as sweat poured down his face. No one had gone over THIS with him! Did his family want him to fail? Sweat dripped into his left eye and he swiped it away in irritation as he looked over at the girl again. She turned the page on her test, still smiling and writing happily.

The test proctor watched with dark amusement as he thought about the extra padding in his bank account. And so it began.

o.O.o.O.o.O

In his office, Kasuse Soichiro slid the real Academy entrance test into his desk. A spiteful smile on his own face as he thought of the ever-increasing difficulties of the questions asked on the 'new' test. The test he'd personally drawn up for this one little Hyuuga.

Bribing the proctor had not been easy, nor had it been cheap. But quite worth it, the council chairman thought to himself.

o.O.o.O.o.O

Kankuro looked up from where he was sitting in the Hyuuga study as Neji entered with Yugao. The two looked haggard. The puppeteer cocked his head in Hinata's direction and hissed. "You wake her and I'll kill you both and raise your son as my own."

The blue-haired kunoichi's mouth quivered, then smiled as she nodded. Neji sighed as he looked over at the wan visage of his cousin, out cold in her chair. He stooped down to pick up the medical scroll she'd obviously dropped when she'd fallen asleep.

Yugao pulled up a seat next to the former Suna-nin. "She still insisting on doing it all on her own?"

Kankuro nodded unhappily. "Everyone has told her to take it easy, but she won't listen. Just gets this real stubborn look in her eye, raises her chin and apologizes for making such a fuss."

Neji grimaced. "And even though she so sweetly apologizes, she still doesn't back down? Yes, I'm familiar. I used to think her weak, she proved me wrong."

The puppeteer looked with exasperation at his wife and blew out a sigh. "Weak? No, she's not weak. She's not as explosive as Hanabi, nor as cocky as you, but in her own way she truly is a marvel. Now if she'd only take a break!"

"Cocky?" Neji sent a hard look at Kankuro, but the puppeteer ignored him.

The Hyuuga heir glanced over at his blue-haired wife and she gave him a smirk. "Oh, I'd call you cocky." She informed him with a hint of a leer.

"Now, now brown cows there will be none of that!" Anko burst into the room with her grin spread out over her face and her eyes sparkling with merriment. "This is a FAMILY area, no sparking, cooing, billing, or fucking. I don't care who's cocky or…."

"ANKO!" Hiashi roared as he entered behind her.

"…In un-private FAMILY areas." The spiky-haired kunoichi finished without pausing, ignoring her hypocrisy as she and Hiashi had gone at it in this room themselves only the day before yesterday. Although, to be truthful, they'd been creative since she wasn't quite cleared by the medics for real intercourse yet. Still, Hiashi had been actually smile at the end of their 'meeting', and so had she. Also, the unlocked door had lent a hint of naughtiness to the interlude that appealed to her.

Hinata startled, sitting bolt upright. "What? Oh? Is Katashi back yet?" Her jaw creaked as she gave a huge yawn, dark circles under her pale eyes.

Kankuro snarled at Anko, on his feet before he even knew it. The two were nearly glaring pure death at each other, though Anko was grinning evilly from ear to ear. "Taking umbrage, gurama-ga-ru?" She whispered the challenge to his face.

Blinking, Kankuro snarled low and with a distinct edge of pure anger through his gritted teeth. "What did you just call me?"

Yugao leaned back in her seat, yawning to try and hide her own smile. "She just called you a 'glamour girl'. If I had to guess, I think she's casting aspirations on your make-up."

"Bunraku puppeteer facial markings!" Kankuro bit the words out harshly, his eyes not leaving Anko's. "You just woke Hinata up!"

Anko shot a glance at the more than slightly pale face of the woman in question. "Well, then, she'd better start making good with the nannies in order to get some rest and stop being an ASS about it." She said this loudly for Hinata's benefit, though she was still staring into Kankuro's face.

"I… I'm sorry …oh …" Hinata shut up as Kankuro turned a furious glare on her, raising one finger at her.

"Don't you dare stutter." He hissed, then turned on Anko. "You apologize to her!" Then he turned back to his wife. "But she's right, you need to get some sleep and let the nannies help! They don't have to do it all for you, but they can HELP!"

Anko smirked and crossed her arms. "Why should I apologize when you just admitted that I was right?"

"ENOUGH!" Hiashi roared and all fell silent for one blessed moment as every eye turned to his stern face. Then the sound of infants crying started from upstairs and the current Hyuuga leader winced at his blunder as three sets of feminine eyes glared at him.

"Now look what you did." Anko hissed as all three kunoichi took off up the stairs to see to their babies. "Iriko."

Neji sighed as he watched the three women leave, shaking his head at his uncle. "From kingfisher to a lowly iriko. A dried sea slug? Oh how the mighty have fallen."

Hiashi ignored the other two shinobi and activated his Byakugan.

Kankuro looked startled. "You can see the Academy and pick out Katashi from out here?" Despite himself, he was impressed as Hiashi grunted. "Well?"

"He's still on the written part." The Hyuuga clan leader sighed.

Neji looked at the clock. "Still? I'd thought he'd have been done with that part already. I mean, I know there's not a set time limit, but usually that part of the testing would be done by now."

Hiashi frowned sharply as he watched, though it was difficult for even him to pick out a lot of detail at this distance. "Nakae Zeshin is the proctor today."

Kankuro looked back and forth between the two men. "Is that good or bad? Just how tough is it really to get into your Leaf Academy? In Suna if you show any aptitude, they'll train you until you make it, quit or die." He shrugged. "We've only just started modeling our training methods after yours."

"No one knows." Neji said quietly, activating his own Byakugan as well. Finally, both Hyuuga males deactivated the clan trait and gave each other a hard look. "He's still writing, that's not necessarily a BAD sign."

"He's still weak in his equations." Hiashi grunted. "And Leaf village history."

Neji nodded grimly as he agreed. "He's only practiced with the basic kunai and not the senbon much at all. You don't think they'll test more than basic kunai throwing, do you?"

Kankuro looked back and forth between the two men, his face said that he wasn't sure if they were pulling his leg or not. "What do you mean you 'don't know'? You have to know."

Hiashi grunted again. "Why? Because I'm a powerful and rich leader of a well respected clan?"

The puppet master scratched his head and sighed. "Well …yeah."

Neji eyed his uncle curiously. "Actually, I always thought you would know how applicants are chosen."

Hiashi shook his head and took a seat, looking haughty despite his obvious concern for his son. "No. It's a closely guarded secret. Not even the elder council has any sway on the matter. The tests are run by honorable and retired ninja, all carefully selected. When an opening comes up, then that group chooses a replacement. They are immoveable, implacable, and above giving in to bribery, extortion or any other form of leverage."

Kankuro laughed, then apologized as two snarky looks were sent his way. "But surely you must have SOME idea about the testing methods. I mean …well, I presume that both of you went through it at one point or another."

Neji shrugged. "It's a different test for everyone."

"Oh." The puppeteer settled back into his seat as Hinata walked back in, holding two bundles of wrapped joy. "Oh!" He exclaimed as she passed him one of the twins. Kankuro couldn't help his grin as the tiny boy yawned up at him, his mottled gray eyes blinking with sleepiness.

Hinata sighed as she settled into a chair, cradling the other twin boy. "Jishin is cranky and won't go back to sleep, and she's keeping up the twins."

"Katsuro?" Neji frowned, making as if to get up.

Hinata waved him back with one hand. "Your son is showing a remarkable ability to sleep through anything. He's still out."

Hiashi gave a small smile. "You were the same at that age. My brother was worried about it at first, kept checking with the medics to make sure you were all right."

Neji looked a bit startled and Hiashi refused to meet his eyes. This was the first time they'd mentioned Hizashi between the two of them since Neji had learned the truth of his father's passing. It had been an unspoken rule between them. The younger man waited for the bitter rush of memories and the familiar hatred, when it came though, it was almost muted. He still felt the sting of remembered hate, but now …watching his uncle watch Hinata and the twin boys with a sad look of …was that regret? Things had changed. Hiashi had changed. And so had he. Well how about that?

Neji weighed his words carefully before continuing. "All the children are well and growing." He deliberately said, tacitly letting his uncle know he was alright.

Hiashi grunted and the moment passed. Finally, the current Hyuuga leader frowned at his daughter. Before he could chastise her on not getting enough rest, Anko swept back into the room.

"Finally asleep, the jishintai is quiet once more." The spiky-haired woman announced with a quirky grin.

Kankuro shook his head. "Since when did the Hyuuga nursery turn into a jishintai? An earthquake zone?"

"Since my daughter was born." Anko stretched, trying to ease the kink in her neck. "So. How's the newest mini-trout doing? Is the testing over yet?"

Neji reactivated his Byakugan as Kankuro sneered. "Hiashi was explaining how applicants are sorted through and how it's this huge dark secret. And about how the group administering these tests are above bribes, extortion and all that. Truthfully?" He paused and gave her a droll look. "I'm surprised you didn't try to bribe them, or at least threaten to cut their balls off or something."

Anko gave him a cheeky grin. "I didn't try, I did it. Bribe one of them I mean. I bribed the proctor of the written exam. Threats weren't even needed."

Hiashi groaned and closed his eyes as the puppeteer laughed and startled the infant he was holding into waving his arms in protest to the loud noise.

o.O.o.O.o.O

Hanabi was icing her elbow and frowning as she eyed her work. She'd been working nearly non-stop and thought she'd been making progress. But the proof would be in the explosions she meant to cause with her test tags later tomorrow.

Hissing, she pulled the bag of ice from her elbow. Who knew writing could cause so much soreness? She'd run through exhausting exercises before without this kind of problem. Still, minute and repetitive motion was a bitch. "Stupid kanji." She muttered.

Leaning back in her chair she daydreamed about how proud Kiba would be when he ….her dream burst as she couldn't think of a plausible reason to show him her tags. Sitting up, Hanabi's mind started gearing up for some serious problem solving.

One, get rid of Gaara. Two, get closer to Kiba. Three, destroy Ise. Not necessarily in that order.

Okay, well …she could put off number one as a certain red-head wasn't even in Konoha right now. Besides, she'd sent him that letter to show him she'd figured out his puzzle and to also let him know that she'd not changed her mind about his stupid non-courtship thingy. Bah.

Two? Well …Hanabi frowned. Kiba persisted in treating her like a little girl. And as for three …what in the name of all that was holy did Kiba see in that twit?! Ise was useless as far as Hanabi was concerned. She was vain and shallow and consumed with fashion and girly ….whoa.

Hanabi's mouth dropped open in shock. Why hadn't she seen it before? Kiba liked girly girls! She'd ignored that in her efforts to thwart Ise. But what to do about it?

She ran to her closet, ignoring her sore elbow as she flipped through her wardrobe. Practical. Dull. Outgrown. Too formal. Work-out clothes. Dull. Dull. Dull.

Hanabi groaned. It wasn't enough to get rid of Ise, she had to take her place! A sudden vision of her in that ridiculous green dress that the other girl had been wearing popped into her mind and the kunoichi nearly gagged.

Okay. Okay. Hanabi stopped to plot and plan. She couldn't turn herself into a silly twit of a fashion bug, it wasn't her and she'd look like an idiot. Her pale eyes narrowed on her wardrobe. But surely there was a way to look more grown up without turning into a complete girly girl. "I am the daughter of a rich clan leader. There is no reason that I can't go shopping."

But she couldn't go out without a plan. Now. Hanabi grabbed some blank paper to make a new list. She needed outfits that were practical but NOT dull. In her inner eye she flipped through all the kunoichi she knew. Sakura showed off her legs. Shizune didn't dress to attract male attention, though she HAD managed to snag Ibiki. She'd have to think on that. Still, what about Tsuande? Hanabi snorted and looked down at her chest defensively. She wasn't even close to their Hokage's proportions.

TenTen? No. Hanabi shook her head. The brunette teammate of her cousin was a good role model as a kunoichi, but not as a flashy ….oh! "YAMANAKA INO!" Hanabi grinned as she started sketching out some ideas.

When she was finished, Ise would be toast and Kiba wouldn't look at her like a little girl anymore.

o.O.o.O.o.O

Katashi's arm was quivering as he finished the target practice. How many times would they make him do this? He groaned as he looked over at the other girl, he still didn't know her name. But …she had ALL her kunai in the target. Katashi looked back at his own target and groaned. Three of the kunai were on the ground and one was stuck in the beam next to the target. The rest were all there though. He prayed it would be enough to pass.

"Hmmm." The old man overseeing this part of the test looked …less than impressed. Katashi's stomach sank.

o.O.o.O.o.O

"Way to go, Anko!" Kankuro grinned over at the kunoichi.

Hiashi though, looked decidedly sour. "A waste of time, and money."

Anko frowned. "Bongu, you have no idea how I had to wheedle just to find out which official to bribe. The money part was easy."

"Calling me a foolish commoner? I think I preferred the dried sea slug." Hiashi sighed. "I should have been more specific. The group of elders testing the young people? They're not un-bribable, but it makes no difference. They ALWAYS take bribes, but they never alter the outcome of the tests. It's a tradition. A secret, but a tradition."

Anko shook her head. "But …he promised …he took my money!"

"Yes, I'm sure he did." Hiashi shot her an unreadable look. "That is how the testers make their living you know, taking bribes. And what are you going to do to the proctor if Katashi fails? You can't admit bribing the man. And attacking a test proctor? Not a good idea. They are retired, but still shinobi. Besides, ANBU takes their safety very seriously, you'd be hunted down."

Neji looked confused. "That's ridiculous." He protested weakly. "I thought they were above such things and only took the best students."

Hiashi lowered a rueful look on his nephew. "Then explain how Naruto got into the Academy. He was a disaster there, if you'll recall."

Scratching his chin, Neji shrugged. "Well, they spotted his physical potential and didn't worry about his written test."

"Then explain Haruno Sakura." Hiashi replied coolly. "From what I understand, she had the brains but no physical ability at first. Yet the Academy admitted her as well."

Neji groaned and shrugged. "Chakra levels? Ninjutsu capabilities?"

Hiashi pinned the younger man with his eyes. "Rock Lee."

"Okay, how about work ethic?" Neji tried again. "They only took the students who would try their hardest."

"No, that's not it. Just think about Nara Shikamaru." Anko spoke up this time, a weird look on her own face as she eyed her husband. "So how do students get into the Academy if they don't look at physical, mental, spiritual abilities or sheer enthusiasm?"

"No one knows." Hiashi told them in all solemnity. "The Academy test proctors choose based on a set of criteria that even the elder council and Hokage's office have no say in. In fact, I only discovered all this when I tried to bribe them to take Hinata. The Third Hokage pulled me aside and explained the situation. Still, he wouldn't make the proctors give back my bribe."

Hinata blushed deep red and looked down at her son, refusing to look up.

Kankuro scowled. "So how good are these proctors at choosing students?"

Hiashi grunted. "Nearly perfect. A few children drop out for various reasons. Injury, change in family situation and all that. Outside influences. But for the most part, the students accepted do well generally. Very few don't pass on to becoming genin. Some don't make chuunin of course. Still, their choices sometimes leave people confused, but they're hardly ever wrong."

"Really?" Anko asked, genuinely curious. She'd never thought about this part of the Academy students before. Usually she only dealt with them when the chuunin exams came up. "How can you be so sure?"

Hiashi looked up at her. "They took Hinata despite her shy ways. They took Naruto despite his poor skills."

Neji sighed and continued for his uncle. "They took Shikamaru despite his laziness, and Rock Lee despite any conceivable affinity for ninjutsu." He paused, shaking his head. "How DO they pick? There's got to be a complicated equation weighing every aspect of an applicant's abilities. I don't envy them the task of figuring it all out."

Hiashi shrugged. "I don't know, I just know it works. Every student that we just mentioned have gone on to become not only jounin, but truly excellent ninja. Despite the fact their lacks when entering the Academy."

"Especially Hinata." Kankuro murmured, looking at his wife.

"Hai." Hiashi agreed, startling his daughter. "I wasted my money bribing those proctors. Whatever they measure a student by, she got in on her own merit."

Hinata's blush intensified, but this time there was a soft smile playing on her lips.

Hiashi then sat up and looked at them all very sternly. "Remember, no one is supposed to know about how the proctors take bribes. The Third only told me because he owed me at the time."

"Do you think Kasuse bribed them too?" Anko asked, looking grumpy.

"Yes." Hiashi grunted with a wicked look in his pale gaze. "I watched him do it, using the Byakugan. I only hope he paid them a lot."

o.O.o.O.o.O

Katashi was too tired to eat his supper, even though he'd skipped lunch too. The taijutsu portion of the test had just finished and despite everything, he'd not been able to land a single strike on his proctor. The old man was wrinkled and walked with a limp, but he'd still been able to dodge every tactic that Katashi had tried despite his lessons with Gai.

Sullenly, he looked over at the girl on the other side of the gym. She'd touched her tester TWICE! Katashi looked down at his meal and blinked back tears of frustration.

"Alright dearie?"

Startled, Katashi looked up into the kind face of the cleaning woman as she picked up his napkin and handed it to him.

"You should eat, what will your folks say if you come back starving?" She tutted at him and wiped up non-existent crumbs off the table.

Katashi mumbled under his breath.

"What was that dear?" The old woman turned back to her bucket and mop. "Don't mind me, I just have to clean up in here before I can head back to my own home."

Sighing, Katashi put his food back in his small pack. "I don't mean to keep you." He told her, bowing his head while his throat tightened with embarrassment.

"Nay! Nay, boys need to eat! Especially when learning how to become shinobi." The old woman cackled.

"That won't be me." Katashi let the hurtful thought slip from him, taking a shaking breath as he blinked back his tears. "I failed."

Pausing, the old woman put her mop back in her bucket. Eyeing him curiously, she shook her head. "What makes you think that?"

Groaning, Katashi shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Oh?" She smiled at him. "I'm no ninja, but I've worked here a long time. I've seen 'em come and I've seen 'em go. You look like a Hyuuga boy to me, what with those eyes of yours. Go on, deny it."

Katashi shook his head, his throat swelling up with emotion.

"Yep, definitely a Hyuuga."

Katashi shook his head again. "Not a real one." He muttered. "Not if I fail."

The old woman reached out and pushed his hair out of his eyes, lifting his chin so he'd look at her. "Family is family no matter what you do in life. Ninja or no, you still have Hyuuga blood in ya."

He groaned and pulled away from her, the sting of his failures making him sick to his stomach. "That girl?" He pointed at the only other student in the large room. "She beat me in everything."

The cleaning lady chuckled. "No matter who you are, there is ALWAYS someone faster, stronger, better. A true ninja learns how to overcome that."

Katashi sighed and nodded, scuffling his feet.

"Now. Go home, clean up and eat something." She patted his hair. "And be here Monday morning on time or I'll have to hurt you."

Katashi looked up startled. The old crone was gone. The woman was still old and still kind looking, but there was nothing dottering about her now. Her blue eyes flashed at him and for the first time he noticed that beneath her baggy clothing, her body movements were lithe and graceful.

She nodded.

He goggled. "You're …."

"Telling you to go home. Student." Akaike Maemi told him. "You're in."

"But what about …" Katashi pointed at the girl across the room.

The proctor leaned down and whispered to him. "She's taking a henge endurance test, not an Academy entrance test. She's a third year."

"Oh!" Katashi stood there, gaping at her.

Maemi laughed and physically turned him around, pushing him toward the exit. "Go tell your family. And don't be late on Monday!"

The other test proctors joined the older woman as she watched Katashi nearly float out the door with a grin so wide it rivaled Naruto's. "Good kid."

The two men flanked her and nodded. Zeshin smiled. "Kasuse is stingy with his bribes, but Anko isn't."

Maemi laughed and shook her head. "Anko is a proctor for the genin to make chuunin. You'd think she'd have caught on about the bribes and all."

Zeshin chuckled as he shrugged. "Sometimes the ones who are so sneaky are easier to fake out. She thought she was bribing someone who'd always been above such behavior."

Akaike Sen, Maemi's husband held up the written portion of the entrance test. "Did you see the drivel that the chairman put in this exam? I don't know if I remember half this history stuff myself!"

"Speaking of which." Maemi grinned. "He's going to be angry that the kid passed."

"What can he do to us?" Zeshin shook his head. "Admit that we took a bribe and didn't deliver? No. We're fine."

Sen smiled. "The lad will be a fine student though. Thought he was outclassed at every turn, but never gave up. Never."

Maemi nodded happily. "It's a good thing no one ever figures out that the tests are useless. If they don't give up, they're in. Oh look at his answers, he did try. Then again, they all try." She said, flipping through the written test.

Zeshin choked and glared balefully at his fellow proctors. "Nara didn't."

Shaking his head, Sen frowned. "And we agreed never to speak of that again."

Maemi nodded as she considered Nara Shikamaru. The only applicant that when they opened his test there were no answers to the questions, simply the words. "I won't tell anyone about your source of income if you pass me."

o.O.o.O.o.O

Hanabi spun, looking at herself from every angle with the triple mirrors. She grinned. Wouldn't Kiba be surprised when he saw her! She could hardly wait!

o.O.o.O.o.O

Well? Hope you enjoyed! And no, the Academy entrance testing? Not canon. So not canon, I'm sure. Pretty sure. But then, those elders ARE sneaky ...