Road Side Fun

Fable II

Saprrow Hammer

The journey to Westcliffe had started off quite well, if one considered being ambushed countless times by bandits to be a good thing, of which Sparrow did. Killing things was a favorite past time of hers, and it was far more enjoyable when the thing you were brutally face raping was trying to stab you in the kidneys.

Hammer, though enthusiastic, wasn't much help, but she didn't blame her too much. After all, she'd gone from being a mouthy monk to a hero in the span of a day, and after had spent all of her time cooped up in a small space with a woman who was as much of a people person as your average Balverine.

So, after countless bullets and more than a few new nicks on her bartered-for sword (Avo, she loved Knothole Island. She paid for her sword with three baby chickens. Chickens!) Sparrow was losing her mind. It had nothing to do with the bandits, oh no. You see, as much as she loved having a companion who did more than bark at dirt and chase his own tail, the strain of having to deal with the oversized woman was starting to wear on her. Oh, she liked her well enough, but it was sort of like having a child along for the ride. Inept, and overly serious, she had to put a stop to her madness. If she stayed this serious for long, she might have to shoot her in her kneecaps.

Pausing to reload her pistol, Sparrow eyed up the little campsite thing they now stood in. Tucked away by the trees were two slave caravans, both empty, and both notably unlocked. Idea forming, the Hero tucked her pistol away, strolling over to the steel and wood monstrosities.

"Sparrow? What are you doing? We have to go this way! I can hear more idiots up ahead that need to be introduced to my hammer!" Ignoring her, Sparrow swung one of the cage doors open, moving it back and forth and mentally noting the thing could use with an oiling. "Sparrow!"

She dove into the cage as if she'd been thrown by an invisible foe, making sure to snag the door with her foot so it would swing shut behind her. Climbing to her feet and swaying as though drunk off her ass, Sparrow turned so she was facing a baffled Hammer. Clinging to the bars, she feigned clanking a can across the bars, making a face as she did so.

"Have you gone mental? Get out of there!"

With a wicked grin and a wag of her finger,s he pretended to throw her invisible can over her shoulder before proceeding to turn and wag her ass at her. "Only if you make me! You see, I seem to have lost the key, and/or the ability to operate a door. Odd? Perhaps. True? Most defiantly."

Hammer scowled, and much to Sparrows surprise, did exactly that. With an almighty yank, she tore the door away from its frame with one hand, and with the other snatched her up and threw her kicking and hollering over her shoulder.

Only when they'd reached the so called road did she drop her on her ass at her feet, arms crossing as she looked sternly down at her. Fixing his hat, Sparrow looked up at her with one eye, waiting to see if she'd need to dodge her namesake flying at her most lovely (in ers opinion) face.

They spent a good minute or five staring at one another, before Hammer broke down.

And laughed until she was crying.

"Bloody hell Sparrow, I knew going on an adventure with you would be an interesting experience, but dear Avo." Sparrow took the offered hand and was pulled easily to her feet, brushing the dirt from her pants as Hammer scrubbed the water from her cheeks and attempted to catch her breath. "Do you do that sort of thing when you're alone?"

She chuckled. "Of course not, what would be the point?"

"Right, of course, silly me. Well then, shall we?"

Sparrow promptly re-took the lead, not so much because she wanted to be the first one shot as he wanted to make sure her face didn't betray her thoughts. The ones involving her doing incredibly stupid shit for no reason other than her own amusement, and that of her faithful mutt Spider. Well, mostly for herself. She didn't think Spider was able to comprehend many (if any) of the inane things she did.

And if Theresa the Blind Ninja Bat Shit Crazy Lady hadn't told Hammer of her odd behavioral patterns, then who was she to go against her wishes?