Fifty Shades of Trouble
Summary: What if there was a fourth Grey child? Broken from a past much similar to Christian's, Letty was a timid young child, but as she grows, the teenage Juliette turns out to be nothing more than Fifty Shades of Trouble. How would having a teenage sister change Fifty during the Fifty Shades Trilogy? How would he handle seeing his sister spiral dangerously close to his rock bottom?
AN: I fully intended to wait until Saturday to post this, BUT I have fifty reviews so in honor of FIFTY shades, I decided to post it really early. Plus, I just finished chapter twenty-five, so I'm not close to catching up with myself.
ALSO PLEASE REVIEW! Apparently I only get an influx if I beg and plead for you guys to review, so I'm begging and pleading again
I know. The past few chapters haven't been to climatic and it's only covered like two days in the life of Letty. Hang in there, more drama will follow. I just felt like dragging out the few days after Christian learned a bit about Letty was necessary. During the next chapter, I think it is safe to assume you will get to see some of Mia, and more of Ana and Christian.
Warning: There is brief mention of childhood sexual abuse in this chapter. I tried my best to write it in as little detail as possible because of how sensitive of a subject it is, but it could be disturbing to some. If you want to skip it, stop reading at the two spaced out "…" lines, and resume after the next two "…" spaced out lines.
Chapter 10: I Really Hate Therapy
"You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written — behind your silence and your suffering."
― Anne Rice
Letty POV
I was in a much better mood after practice. Doing physical things, like soccer, running, kickboxing, it always served to clear my head. My initial anger with my brother had all but diminished by the time I was getting my shin guards off and a pair of running shoes on in place of my cleats. It was drizzling now, nothing uncommon for Seattle, so I also pulled on my rain jacket before making my way to the parking lot.
Mom's car was in the parking lot, but when I opened the trunk to put my things inside, I was a little surprised to see both of my parents in the front. I attempted to calm myself. Coincidence. It didn't mean Christian had said anything to them. They just wanted to speak with Dr. Flynn about me not sleeping or whatever.
"Good practice?" Dad asked as I climbed in the backseat, using a towel Mom had thrown in the back to wipe the grass sticking to me off.
"Yeah, it was easier than usual. We didn't even have to run much." I told him. "It surprised me with a tournament coming up."
"I had forgotten about that." Mom admitted. "It's the weekend after Christian's birthday, in Vancouver, right?"
"Yeah." I agreed. "Dad, I was actually wondering if we could sail there instead of driving."
"I'll have to check my schedule for that Friday to make sure I can have you there in time, but I don't think that would be a problem." He told me with a smile as he pulled out of the parking lot.
Dad knew how much I enjoyed sailing. I had loved it ever since I was a little girl, since my first Father's Day with my family. It had captivated me, the freeing feeling of sailing, and Dad would always take me if I asked and he was able to. I could usually even con Christian into taking me out on his boat on weekends. I was just happiest sailing.
"And school?" Mom asked. "Did you have a good day?"
"Busy." I admitted. "With final exams next week, they were either cramming information into our already full brains or assigning projects."
"Any interesting projects?" Dad asked.
"Well, we really only have a French one. A poster, over Paris. Rocklin, Macy, and I got in a group together and may need to enlist in Mia's help." I shrugged.
"Oh a project over Paris, your sister will be thrilled to assist you." Mom smiled. She was so excited to see Mia. I was too, but Mom was just thrilled to have all four of her kids in the same city once more.
"Yeah, we jumped on Paris once Madame Roux announced to pick a city." I agreed.
"Did you ask Macy about Sunday?" Mom continued.
"Yeah. She has to ask her parents, but she doesn't see a problem with it." I lied. Her parents weren't in town. She didn't have to even mention it to them.
The remainder of the drive to Dr. Flynn's office was relatively quiet, just a little bit of small talk here and there. As we pulled into a spot in the parking garage, nerves hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't know why I was nervous, it wasn't like I was going to comply with him. Maybe it was because I knew Christian had most likely spoken with Dr. Flynn about why I was going to see him, and the idea another person who was friends with my parents knew unsettled me, even if he could legally be in trouble if he spoke with them about it without my consent.
"Letty?" Dad asked.
I snapped back into reality. He and Mom were already outside of the car, and Dad was holding my door open. I had a feeling we had been in this position for at least a minute or two because Mom had a very small look of concern on her face, but I shook it off and got out of the car.
"Are you alright Darling?" Mom asked as we began walking through the parking garage in the general direction of the elevator.
"Yeah, I was just thinking. Sorry." I lied.
We took the elevator up to the office I had spent a few appointments in a few years back. Six months' worth to be exact. During that time, I had done what I planned on doing this time. I had remained silent. Eventually, Dr. Flynn accepted this. He would even let me bring my homework up and would just watch as I did it. He wouldn't give up on trying to get me to give him any sort of information, but he would let me be productive with the time I had with him.
I think I baffled him. If he was ever at our home, either just for dinner due to his friendship with my parents, or if it was for an event, I would speak with him, and his wife. I had no personal problem with him, it was just therapy.
"Grace, Carrick." Dr. Flynn greeted my parents, shaking my father's hand and kissing both of my mother's cheeks. "It's good to see you here Letty." He looked to me.
"John." My father smiled.
"Letty, your parents wanted to speak with me before your appointment. Is that alright with you?" He asked.
For a moment, I contemplated saying "No", but that would make my parents suspicious, so I simply shrugged and took a seat in the lobby while my parents followed him back to his office.
They weren't in there long, maybe ten or fifteen minutes at most, but they were in good spirits when they returned with Dr. Flynn. They couldn't have spoken with him about anything too heavy if they were laughing with him when they returned.
"Ready?" Dr. Flynn asked me.
"Yeah, I guess." I agreed, glancing to my parents who took a seat on one of the sofas in the waiting room together. "You're staying?" I asked them.
"Seeing as your father doesn't want to go to the mall with me, yes." Mom told me, sending a playful glare to my father.
"I just would rather not have to replace my whole wardrobe." Dad chuckled. "We'll be right here after your appointment."
I nodded and followed Dr. Flynn to his office, sitting down on one of the couches the minute I was in the room, propping my feet up as Dr. Flynn took his seat and crossed his ankle over his thigh, notepad in hand.
"Your brother told me why he believes you should come and see me, but I would like to know why you think you should be here." He told me.
A big piece of me wanted to remain silent, but another part of me wanted to know just how much Christian had told him. I settled on the latter of the two. "What all did my dear big brother tell you?" I asked him.
"He told me the state he found you in on Saturday night. He told me of the discussion you two had Sunday afternoon." Dr. Flynn explained.
"Did he tell you about the ultimatum he gave me?" I asked, doubting he had.
"No, I cannot say he did." Dr. Flynn told me as he cracked his knuckles.
"Basically, he told me that I either agreed to come and see you, or he told my parents about Saturday night." I told him. "So I'm here because Christian is forcing me to be here."
"He's not necessarily forcing you to be here." Dr. Flynn pointed out.
"Yeah, well, my other option of the ultimatum was to have to start out summer grounded for life and not be allowed to see my friends again, so he kind of is." I disagreed, my tone a mixture of sarcasm and anger.
"If you do not wish for your parents to know of your activities, surely you must believe there may be a problem with those activities." He pointed out.
"To them maybe." I shrugged.
"But you don't see a problem with drinking to the point where you pass out and don't remember anything?" He asked as he wrote something in that note pad. His tone wasn't accusatory, or angry even. It was truly just curious.
I chose not to answer that question. Or any more for that matter. So, the next fifty-five minutes of my appointment was filled with Dr. Flynn asking me questions, and me staring at him, not even offering him a facial expression that could give away a yes, no, shock, sadness, anything. I was like a statue, just sitting there. He sighed at the end of the appointment as he closed his note pad and shook his head a bit.
"I was hoping you would be more conversational than our previous sessions." He told me.
I shrugged. "I have nothing to say."
"I don't believe you." He told me. "I think you have a lot to say. I believe talking about it would help you."
"For the last freaking time, I. Don't. Need. Help." I told him.
"Everyone needs help at some point or another in their life Juliette. It's nothing to be ashamed of, and it's just a matter of realizing it and accepting the help offered in the end. You'll get there eventually, one way or another, but I was hoping you would accept the help earlier than the catastrophic reason most people accept help." He told me.
"Christian said you can't talk to my parents about me." I changed the subject.
"He's right. You have my full confidentiality unless I believe you are going to harm yourself or another person." He pierced his lips. "I hope you realize that just because Christian offered up information about you, now that you are my patient, I cannot discuss you with him either."
That was something. At least he wouldn't be allowed to tell Christian I wasn't cooperating in therapy. Maybe me coming would get Christian off my case. If I could convince Christian that therapy was going well, maybe he would drop things. Leave me alone.
"I think our time here is up." Dr. Flynn told me. "If you choose to not speak in your future appointments like last time, you're welcome to bring homework again."
"I'll keep that in mind." I had to hide a laugh at that. The good therapist knew me well by this point. I would definitely bring my homework in the future if it meant him leaving me alone. I groaned internally at there only being another week of homework though. I could work on summer reading I guess. It would be better than just staring in silence.
"One more thing." Dr. Flynn said as I stood up. "Just a final comment for today. As Anne Rice once said, 'You do have a story inside you; it lies articulate and waiting to be written- behind your silence and your suffering.' Think on that for me while you're waiting on our next appointment. Maybe it'll encourage you to speak a bit more."
Fat chance of that one Dr. Flynn. I kept those words to myself instead of saying them to him, out of politeness. I followed him silently back to the waiting room where Dr. Flynn shook hands with my father, and kissed my mother goodbye before bidding me farewell. As soon as I got in the car, Mom glanced to me.
"How did it go?" She asked.
"Mom." I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it. Didn't you say so yourself, talking to a person further away from the situation can be beneficial or something? Wouldn't talking about therapy ruin the whole purpose of that?"
"Okay, you don't have to tell us how it went." She sighed, I knew she had been hoping I would talk to her. Maybe I would offer up some small piece of "it went well" or something at dinner to pacify her.
My parents left me alone after that, driving with just the sound of the radio to fill the silence. Once home, I ran upstairs to shower. I hated eating dinner right after practice if I hadn't showered yet, so I was quick to get clean and in a new set of clothes before heading downstairs where Gretchen had already put food on the dining room table. Mom and Dad were waiting for me, both in some sort of deep conversation.
Again, I was paranoid that they knew more than they were letting on, but hearing Dad mention the jury calmed me some. Maybe they were truly speaking about their days at work.
"Feel better?" Dad asked as I joined them.
"Much." I agreed.
Dad blessed the food and we began eating. It was one of my favorite meals. Fresh lobster bisque, sautéed vegetables, pita bread, and salads to go with it. Suspicion came again. Mom and Dad could have asked for this to be served, hoping I would be buttered up and share more with them than I usually did. I shook my head though, Gretchen knew this was one of my personal favorites as well, so maybe she had prepared it just because of that.
"Therapy went well today." I told my mother and father as we ate.
They looked up a little confused by this. They hadn't expected an answer.
"You all wanted to know in the car. I wasn't in the best of moods right afterwards, but it went well." I shrugged, the lie coming off so easily.
"You've not been in the best of moods today." Mom agreed.
"Didn't sleep well." I told her.
"Bad dream?" Dad asked.
I nodded as I dipped some of the bread in the soup, popping it in my mouth before commenting. "I'm fine though." I assured him.
"You know you can wake us when you wake up to those." Mom offered gently.
"I was fine after a minute. It just disrupted my sleep more than anything." I lied. I wouldn't call lying awake with tears in my eyes for hours "fine", but Mom and Dad didn't need to know I was up half the night crying. I rarely cried in front of people, even my parents. "How was work today?"
"Long." Dad chuckled.
"Did you win your case?" I asked.
"With flying colors." He agreed.
"What about you, Mom? Any funny stories from the hospital?" I asked.
"Not funny per say. I did have to remove a marble from a toddler's nose that his twin brother had forced up it." She smiled a bit. "I'm glad the only two we had close together in age like that were the boys and thankfully, we never had a marble up a nose. Though Elliot did swallow a penny once."
"He did?" I asked. I hadn't heard about that before.
"Scared your poor father to death." Mom laughed.
"I did my best to hide it from your mother. I took him to a different hospital than the one she worked at, only for one of your mother's friends to be the physician working in their emergency room. Long story short, your mother was not pleased when she got a phone call saying that her husband and son were in the ER." Dad told me.
"He didn't need to take him to the hospital." Mom shook her head with a smile on her lips. "As long as the child actually swallows the coin and it goes down their throat, there's nothing they do but wait for it to pass."
"I'm sure Elliot got some sort of toy for that visit." I added, knowing we got little gifts anytime we had to go to the doctor. Heck, I still did with how difficult I was about going to see my pediatrician.
"A new set of blocks if I remember correctly." Dad chuckled.
"Remember the time you tried to hide the fact I got stitches from Mom?" I asked.
"Daddy look I can fly!" I called as I jumped from couch to couch in the family room.
I was only seven at this point, Mia was fourteen and had Dad helping her with her history homework. She always hated history, but Dad loved it. He was glad to help.
"Yes you can Princess." He agreed, not even telling me to stop.
On the next jump, I missed. My head smacked right on the corner of the coffee table and blood went everywhere. Literally, so much blood poured from the cut.
"Even if I hadn't found you all in the ER after a page from my resident, the blood on the carpet would have given him away. As would the big bruise and stitches on your little head." Mom glared at Dad, apparently not finding that much humor in the situation yet, even seven years later. Mama Bear was still mad about that one.
"Mommy, Daddy made me get a shot." I cried as my mommy entered the room.
"Princess, I didn't want for you to have to get a shot." Daddy sighed as he tried again to give me a hug, but I scooted away from him. I was mad.
"You were so angry with me. I thought you'd never forgive me for that shot you had to get." Dad laughed. "And I thought your mother would never forgive me for you having stitches in your head right before we were set to take pictures for the Christmas Card."
"Do we still have a copy of that one?" I asked with a laugh.
"Somewhere I'm sure. I wouldn't have gotten rid of all of the copies of that one." Mom smiled.
The conversation at the table stayed light for the remainder of dinner. Therapy wasn't brought up again, and Mom and Dad were talking about the dinner menu for Sunday night, excited that Macy was going to join us, and even offered to have Rocklin as well. I assured them I would ask him after dinner.
Gretchen gathered our dishes after we ate, but Mom jumped to help her like she always did. While those two did the dishes, and were laughing about something, I was left alone with Dad as he finished up his glass of wine.
"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked.
"Yeah, fine." I agreed.
"I mean I understand you're having nightmares, but you've seemed off ever since you got home Sunday evening. I was just wondering if something else was going on." He told me softly.
Dad, like Mom, could always tell when something was wrong, or off, with any of his children. What could I really say though? 'Sorry Dad, Christian and I had a fight over my behavior.' would lead to him questioning me further, or my brother. I couldn't have either of those two things happen.
"Yeah, I think school just started stressing me out with knowing this week is going to be tough only to lead up to final exams." I lied through my teeth, Dad giving no expression other than understanding. He had bought it.
"Don't worry Princess, I'm sure you'll do fine. You've never struggled with school." He smiled.
He was so proud of me. I had taken honors classes since they were offered, beginning in middle school. I was two years ahead of those not on the fast track in math, and set to take several AP courses as a sophomore next year. I had never made less than an A in a class, and Dad loved when we succeeded in our education.
"Speaking of school, I've got to start studying for my algebra test. It's on Thursday, but I need to review all of the chapters it's over." I told him.
"Go ahead." He smiled.
I left the table and headed up to my room. I checked my phone, pleased with the messages from my friends. Christian had actually gotten them unblocked for me.
I quickly responded to all twenty-seven messages from my friends, averaging about three from each of them, before getting out my homework. After getting everything done that was due tomorrow, I read through my algebra book, only half-focused as I discussed the tickets that Rocklin had his father by for all of us to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when it released at midnight on June 15th, just eight days before my birthday. They had just started selling tickets today at the theater and Rocklin had begged his Dad to go get enough for all of us as well as the adults unlucky enough to have to drive us.
I knew that would probably actually end up being Liam and Sammy's older sister, Sarah. I would make Mom and Dad take me to see it again after my initial excitement wore down. I always went to see the movies again in theaters, as many times as I could convince my parents or siblings to take me to see it.
I heard a knock on my door, and called for whichever one of my parents to come in. Mom smiled when she saw me seemingly invested in my algebra book. If only she knew I hadn't actually accomplished much studying.
"You're taking your final exams pretty seriously." She told me, probably assuming I was studying over a week in advance for the algebra one. I had to force myself not to laugh.
"We have a test Thursday." I told her.
"I just came up to say goodnight." She told me. "Are you heading to bed soon?"
"Yeah, as soon as I finish up this chapter." I glanced at the last two pages I had to read over in the chapter I had sort of studied.
"Alright Darling." She smiled as she hugged me and kissed the top of my head. "Remember, if you need us, wake us. We really don't mind."
"I know you don't." I assured her.
"Sleep well my angel." She told me with one last kiss to my forehead.
I smiled after Mom left. I would always be the baby. Especially when it came to Mom. I think part of it was due to my size. She was so protective of me with me being so little, but I could defend myself very well. She knew that deep down, but I was still so small in her eyes, and needed protection. It's how they all felt. Mom, Dad, Christian, Elliot, even Mia. Mom was probably the worst about being slightly overprotective, but Christian wasn't much better, or Dad and for that matter. Mia was the only one who treated me like a teenager who was a kick-ass kickboxer. I think the main reason I was the baby to my mother was that I was her last one at home. Everyone else was more grown up now. They drove, Christian and Elliot worked, they didn't necessarily need my parents, whereas I did.
After I was in pajamas and in bed, I reflected on the day's events. It had been like any other day, routine wise, aside from my appointment with Dr. Flynn. I really hate therapy. It isn't him personally, it's just the whole idea of it. I would do my best to get Christian to believe I was healing if it meant getting back to my normal life where I wasn't analyzed by a professional. Maybe, just maybe, Christian would deem me okay to stop going to therapy if he thought I was fine.
I closed my eyes, silently sending up a prayer to a God I wasn't sure I believed in that I would sleep through the night for once. After I finished that silent little prayer, I figured what the hell, and turned off my bedside lamp to head to sleep.
…
…
"You're such a good little cunt." Man told me as he kissed me.
He had never kissed me before. The only time he had touched me was if he was hurting me. His breath tasted bad. Really bad. It tasted like his cigarettes and the stuff he drank that made him mad smell. He was happier than usual though.
"I'm going to try something Julie, and I want you to do as I say. If you're good, I'll even let you eat some of the pizza I brought the slut." His voice was kind? Man wasn't kind usually.
I nodded eagerly. I was so hungry. I would do what he wanted if I could only eat. Even a bite of what Woman was eating would be worth doing what he told me.
"Stay still Julie." He told me as he took my shirt off.
For a moment, I froze. He was going to hit me again. He didn't stop there though. Next it was my pants and panties. Maybe I was getting a bath?
"Don't scream. Don't speak. We don't want the slut to come in here." He whispered.
Man began removing his shirt, then his pants, and finally his underwear. Why was Man naked?
"This is going to feel good Julie." He promised me.
He put his hands all over my private parts, as Woman called them, but it didn't feel good. It hurt. I cried, and tried to make him stop, but he covered my mouth.
"I said be quiet. Don't you want to eat? Don't you want to make me feel good?" He snarled in a quiet voice.
I nodded through tears so he moved his hand off my mouth.
"That mouth is going to be far more valuable in other ways. It can make a man feel really good." He whispered.
…
…
Apparently that God I had hoped would listen, the same one Mom and Dad prayed to before we ate, and the same one we worshiped on Christmas and Easter at mass, didn't exist because I woke up screaming again, and woke Mom and Dad in the process.
Again, I declined to speak with either of them about my dream. It was one I hated more than the rest, one I didn't have very often. One I had never discussed with anyone. Mom stayed with me again, Dad refusing to leave as well, until I finally fell back asleep around 3:30.