Kit was sleeping, curled up under the covers, head buried in his hands, sweet little snuffles the only sound in the silence of the darkened room. The little one had finally succumbed to the feelings of safety and home he had so dreadfully missed whilst his Daddy was unconscious with exhaustion and healing magic.
Kit had not slept properly for a while. Not even when he had been put to bed beside his comatose father, curled up as close to him as he could get. Because he could sense no connection with his Daddy. All his life he had felt his Mama and his Daddy humming underneath his skin. When his Mamma had left them, the humming had dulled and made him so sad but he could still feel his Daddy. His Daddy was part of him and Cub. But now it felt like he was all alone in the world, even though sometimes he could feel a weak fizzly sort of hum that he knew was his Grampa. So he lay there in bed staring desperately at his Daddy, willing him with all his heart to wake up and trying not to cry when he didn't. All this meant that neither Kit nor Cub could sleep properly.
Cub was anxious, Kit was anxious and he had had bad dreams of the bad men and bad doggies who were chasing them, hurting his Daddy so his Daddy had to go live in Heaven like everyone else he loved and even that pretty lady with Daddy's eyes and smile from that photo that Grampa kept on his big Sheriff's desk. He couldn't dream his happy dreams because Daddy wasn't awake to tell him stories of Mama before the bad man took her away and sent her to Heaven.
His heart hurt like it was empty while Daddy was sleeping. Daddy's hum was always a happy warm sort of buzzing feeling inside him. He had tried to explain it to Daddy once and the only thing he could think off to describe it was his heart felt like it had lots of happy bees singing and making honey.
Daddy had laughed and said that was a really good way to describe love. That word kind of confused Kit, because he loved lots of things and they didn't have the same happy buzzing hum that being with Daddy gave him. Kit thought it might be more than love because the happy bees only buzzed properly for Daddy now after his Momma had gone to heaven. Kit thought it was more special than love, Kit thought it meant family. Because Momma and Mama Cat always said family was the most important feeling in the world.
Kit didn't tell anyone about the bad dreams and not getting enough sleep. Definitely not the stinky doggies and not even his Grampa, though he kinda thought his Grampa might know because of the way Grampa watched him sometimes. He had the same look on his face that Daddy had when Daddy knew Kit wasn't telling him everything, like the times Kit tried to hide he was hungry when they didn't have enough money for food while they were running so hard away from the bad people but Daddy always knew and he would find a way to get food for Kit and Cub.
But now Daddy was awake and it seemed like he was friends with Grampa again so Cub wasn't restless anymore. Cub wanted to sleep and so did Kit. The happy bees were back and they had even started singing their buzzing bee song more loudly for Grampa.
Stiles stared down at his sleeping child, his mind purposefully blank, just revelling in the sight of his cub, safe for once. He missed his Snow with an ache that resonated through his entire body right down to his bone marrow. A bruise to his heart and soul that would never truly fade.
Their beautiful amazing baby son was so like her, in temperament and looks. Snow would never truly leave him whilst he had that miracle of their love and shared DNA and he would do anything, absolutely anything to keep his boy safe.
His resolve had only strengthened since waking up to find himself back in his father's house. He would do what he had to do to protect Snow's beautiful child. Everything else, everyone else, was acceptable collateral damage. If at odd moments he felt again the stroke of fur against his neck and the echo of a sweet loving voice telling him that family was everything even when they hurt you, he locked the beloved memories safely away in the depths of his mind because he could not afford to be anything less than ruthless in defence of their son. Weakness was not an option when the result would hurt his child. He would sacrifice anyone to keep his Kit safe.
Sheriff John Stilinski stared at the slowly cooling coffee in his mug. He didn't want it. He had made it on autopilot just to give himself something to do, a reason to stay downstairs because he desperately wanted to follow the pair of them upstairs to Stiles's old bedroom. He wanted to check they were safe, tuck them into bed and just sit there and listen to them breathe, watch their chests rise and fall. Physical comforting proof that they were alive and that they were there, actually there and safe underneath his roof. The same way he used to when Stiles had been a baby, when John had just got off a late shift, needing the comfort of his baby boy's gentle breathing to unwind after dealing with his duties as a Deputy. The habit had revived after Claudia had died, it had become a compulsion for a while, needing to be close to his son, needing to hear proof that his son was still with him.
He had sat outside his kid's part open bedroom door for hours, soothed by the sound, sometimes tears falling slowly unheeded because he was just so grateful that his little boy was alive.
A small wry smile twisted his lips. He didn't think Stiles would welcome or appreciate that kind of behaviour at that moment, even though the need itched beneath his skin worse than the old desire for liquor to dull his pain. He damn well knew he was on thin ice with his kid so he was trying to give him some space and time. Though for fuck sake Stiles had disappeared for seven years without a word to his old man, hadn't that been enough space and time for him? John's hand clenched around the mug at that burst of bitter resentment.
He forced himself to calm down. It had been distrust and bitter anger on all sides which had escalated that whole situation seven years ago until finally Stiles had taken off and just disappeared. He wasn't going to lose this chance of regaining his son by dredging up those useless emotions again. He had told Scott he had learnt his lesson. He just had to prove it now. He had to prove it to Stiles.
Stiles had only agreed to stay after John had manipulated him into it. He couldn't, wouldn't regret doing that. There had to be a way back from all this shit. He refused to believe anything else.
Stiles was Claudia's son too and she would have kicked both their asses from here to Thanksgiving for their behaviour towards each other. She would have castrated John with a smile when she found out what had happened but she wouldn't have put up with this disappearance shit either. Stiles would have had his ticket clocked for that one.
He did however and always would, regret what had happened that had forced Stiles to leave but by Christ, he wouldn't regret what he had done to get Stiles and his grandson to stay. Even if it was only for a short time. It meant his boy was home, within John's line of sight and under his protection. The relief he had felt when he realised his son was alive, that he was in touching distance, that there he was right in front of him, well he didn't have the words to adequately describe it. His knees had actually gone weak and he had slid down that damn wall like his limbs had turned to fucking jelly.
Whatever time he had with Stiles, with his son and his grandson, he would damn well lay the ground work for the kid to be able to come home again. Anything else was not acceptable.
Stiles and Kit desperately needed some downtime, to feel safe from whatever was threatening them. And John could provide that safety. He would shelter and feed his son and grandson until the gauntness had left Stiles's cheeks. He might not be able to do anything about the shadows in his boy's eyes but he would make sure his stubborn little shit actually ate and slept and that he knew little Kit was safe here.
John carefully rested the still full coffee mug on the floor beside the chair. He wasn't in any hurry to move from it, suddenly exhausted and desperate to close his eyes for a moment. He rested his head back against the chair but it wasn't the gentle slide into an oblivious nap that awaited him when his eyelids flickered down, it was the technicolour surround sound god awful memory of that god awful dreadful day, the one that still seeped into his nightmares where he watched helplessly as his younger self angrily set in motion the events that had driven his boy so far away from home and his own father.
The cruiser wasn't outside the house, and Stiles's shoulders released some of their tension. His Dad wasn't home. Good, he had time to get his gear together and get back to the pack before those idiots did something they would regret. They only had one chance at this and why the hell couldn't they just listen to him instead of leaping into the fray like baying hounds after a fox. Scott was. No he wasn't going there right now. Scott and he needed to have a good old fashioned chat about Scott's fucking wilful blind stupidity. But they needed to deal with Jennifer Blake first. Why the hell wouldn't they just listen to him? There was something seriously wrong with that woman. Derek must be fucking desperate for sex and he was so not thinking about that or his anger would make him take a fucking bat to the Sourwolf douchebag. Why the hell couldn't they see it? To Stiles she felt unclean. He wanted to scrub himself every time she smiled at him in English class. But the pack just thought she was innocent, that there was no way that she could be involved in the disappearances. Stiles had even gone to Deaton in desperation, that less than helpful obscure prick who had ignored his legitimate concerns once again and basically told him to trust the true Alpha. What the actual fuck?
Stiles opened the door and then stopped dead as he saw his father sitting at the table. His Dad looked older, bitter lines etched into his face, obliterating his normal kind expression.
He sat there still in his uniform staring down at the gold Sheriff's badge in one hand as he sipped from a half empty tumbler with his other hand. The tumbler glass tinkled as it thudded to land next to the newly opened bottle of Jack as his father turned his head to stare at him as if he was an unwelcome stranger. Stiles felt his anxiety rack up at how empty the man's eyes were. He hadn't seen his Dad like this since the bad days after his Mom died.
"Home already from School son, let you out early did they?" The quiet question forced a faint shiver of dread down Stiles's spine. "Hey Dad" he smiled weakly, "Could say the same about you?" then he almost cursed his lack of filter as he saw rage flash across his father's face but he must have been mistaken because his father's face was just blank.
His Dad lifted the tumbler again and took another deliberate swallow. His eyes didn't leave Stiles though. The piercing gaze made Stiles feel like he was a criminal suspect facing the Sheriff in an interrogation.
But before he could say a word, his father spoke again.
"Hmm, not quite the euphemism I would use for getting sacked but it'll do I suppose" the bitter mockery in his father's voice threw Stiles for a second until he realised what the man had said.
"Sacked?" Stiles's voice was quiet now, oh god, he knew where this was going. He had lost his father his job. After that shit he and Scott had pulled with Jackson and the resultant Restraining Order. Jackson's father the District Attorney had never liked the Sheriff before that clusterfuck had happened. DA Whittemore must have finally found a way to remove his Dad from office.
His father continued in an almost indifferent tone, "Indefinite suspension without pay pending internal investigation into conduct unbecoming of an elected Law Enforcement Officer with the certainty of criminal charges should there be a case to answer is the official terminology but really let's cut the crap shall we? I have been sacked and am just waiting to find out if I am doing jail time" Stiles paled, struck speechless, he didn't know what to say to break the dreadful silence.
He could feel the tears burning behind his eyes but he couldn't drop his gaze from the awful look on his father's face.
"Dad" his voice was hoarse, but he couldn't seem to say any more. He had wanted to protect his father. Deaton had impressed upon Scott and Stiles the danger their parents would be in if they found out what was going on. Derek had confirmed the danger, fuck that psycho Peter had even targeted Scott's Mom. Scott had freaked when he found out she had gone on a date with the homicidal werewolf.
He couldn't lose his Dad, he couldn't. He didn't know what he would do if he lost his Dad too. That one word from Stiles seemed to break the dam holding back his father's rage.
"God almighty Stiles what did you do? I've lost my fucking job because of you, you selfish little bastard" The rage, disappointment and disbelief in his father's voice hit Stiles like a smack across the face. "Dad please" Stiles tried to interrupt, his brain searching frantically for words, for a way to stop this without spilling any information that would endanger his Dad more. "I can, I can explain"
he almost stuttered the words out.
"Oh now you want to talk, now you want to explain huh? After months, months of lies and deceit and god damn borderline criminal activity until you finally lose me my job. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think your mother would be proud of you right now, do you think she would be proud of the things you have done." His father roared at him. Those bitter words hit him like individual punches to his heart.
"I wanted to protect you" The almost whispered answer burst out before Stiles could stop it and his father looked at him with a disbelief almost bordering on dislike "Protect me?" Suddenly his Dad's voice was cold, freezing Stiles's blood. "Protect me, you stupid little boy. You've just destroyed my life"
The words burned through Stiles like fire. All this time, hiding everything, trying to protect his Dad and it had only made things worse. Fuck Deaton the druid, fuck Derek Hale and yeah fuck Scott the self-centred prick. Fuck all the supernatural bullshit he had put up with to protect everyone.
His Dad was the most important person in his life and now he was losing his Dad anyway. He had to tell him and maybe there was a way that they could salvage this disaster if they worked together. Guilt and fear churned in his stomach as he stared into his father's face.
"Please Dad" he begged, "I can explain but I need Scott here to do it, please". The Sheriff softened slightly at the sight of the tears in his kid's eyes. He nodded grudgingly "Okay Stiles, get him here and then you had better tell me the truth. No more lies kid. No more"
He turned away from his son to deliberately finish what was left in the tumbler, but then he put the tumbler on top of the liquor bottle and took it into the kitchen before he came back into the living room to sit in his chair and wait for the god damn explanation.
"I'm sorry Sheriff Stiles is lying. I don't know why he's made this story up but it is not true. I'm not a werewolf. There's no such thing." Scott's words were cold but the look he turned on Stiles should have burned the skin off his body. He stared unblinkingly at Stiles as he denied every word of his explanation to his Dad.
Stiles was in shock. What the hell? He stared at Scott in disbelief. He could feel the rage from his Dad and he could see the rage in his best friend's eyes. Stiles lost it. He threw a punch at Scott, who moved to avoid it, much too fast for a human, and snarled soundlessly at him, the red flashing in Scott's eyes a complete give away. But his father had turned away and moved into the kitchen to get the tumbler and bottle of whiskey so he missed the interaction. His father ordered bluntly "Go home Scott, I'm sorry you were bothered with this".
Scott grabbed Stiles' shirt and pulled him close, almost choking him with his grip. He hissed furiously into his ear. "You nearly ruined everything Stiles you selfish prick." He shoved him away and walked out the front door without looking back.
But Stiles was infuriated. He buried the hurt and betrayal and ran out after his so called best friend. He grabbed hold of Scott and slammed him against the outside wall, ignoring the warning growl and the hint of fang. "You fucker you told your own Mom, and you just betrayed me to my Dad"
Before Stiles could land the punch Scott gripped his fist and squeezed, Stiles doubled over with the excruciating pain. "I had to keep her safe from Peter Dude."
Stiles bit the clawed hand that was holding him down and then spat "What about keeping my Dad safe Dude".
Scott released Stiles hand and watched him drop to the ground. "For fuck sake Stiles, grow up, your father's the Sheriff no one is going to hurt him. He'll get over this but I have to keep Ally and Mom safe" he said dismissively.
Stiles stared up at him white-faced "Who the fuck are you?" he whispered "My best friend wouldn't do this to me." Scott flinched slightly, then sighed impatiently "Look there are things I haven't told you about" he began but Stiles wasn't listening, the mixture of rage, betrayal and hurt was churning in his gut. "I don't care you douche, you want to protect that psychotic hunter bitch who stood there and watched as the crap was kicked out of me by her grandfather that's just fucking fine, I will get one of the other loser fur balls to confirm the story to my Dad."
Rage flashed across Scott's face, how dare Stiles say that about Allison "Then you will look even more pathetic than usual because not one of them will do that. I have already warned them what you were up to and they have all agreed that you are not worth the effort of fucking out themselves to the Sheriff" He sneered and then turned to walk away. "When you come to your senses Stiles I'll talk to you but you're not welcome in the pack if that's all you are gonna do is whine about your Dad"
John could still hear Stiles's tear laden pleading to him as clear as the moment he had spoken.
"Please Dad, please just talk to Melissa, I'm not lying, I'm not please. I swear on Mom's grave I'm not" It was the mention of Claudia that finally caused John to utterly lose his shit.
"I don't know how or where I went wrong with you but I am so done with your crap. Just get out, get out of my sight. Get out" he roared as he flung the glass at the wall, and it splintered into shatters, a perfect metaphor for their relationship
He hadn't realised that Stiles was going to literally take him at his words because the last memory John had of his son for seven long despairing years was of a white face and bleak betrayed eyes as he turned his back on him to get another glass.
John opened his eyes from the god awful memories, not realising that he had tears on his cheeks until he looked up into the impassive face of his son who was standing silently in front of him. The words came spilling out of his mouth without his permission. He didn't want to do this now, he didn't want to chance chasing his kid away again but nothing could stop them.
"Jesus Christ Stiles, when I realised what I had done and that I couldn't find you, when nothing I did could find you, when you disappeared off the face of the fucking earth, it hurt as bad as when your Mom died. I went to Melissa and she told me the truth. I punched Deaton's lights out and once I was reinstated I made those kids lives hell. But nothing, nothing stopped the hurt of not being able to find you son. If you gotta go again I can't stop you but please, I'm begging you, don't cut me out and leave me hanging again, please. Just let me know you are safe, that you are both safe and still alive."
The sob that ended his words was forced back down again but there was no reassurance or warmth in the blank dark eyes which stared down at him.
AN:
So its been a long time. The muse left me high and dry on this one because my original thoughts on the betrayal didn't work. So I focused on other stories but have now given this a second chance (hehehe, I do love little insider jokes..)
I do have a much better end mostly written and now I have got over the stumbling block then updates will not be taking nearly a year. ( Touching wood as I write this!)
Hope you enjoy. I should reiterate that that there might be angst but happy endings are my thing. Had to deal with too many unhappy endings in real life so I will damn well control the endings to my own stories. Thank you for your patience. . I promise all my stories will be finished but timelines are fluid...
No infringement intended