Four months later
"- morning Capital Wasteland! How're we doing this fine morning I-"
I reach over to Amata's wrist and press the button to turn off her alarm. I rub my eyes and sit up, shaking my head and getting dressed. Somehow we gravitated toward sleeping in the same bed together. No funny business of course, every night I had an arm around her waist, particularly when she was upset and homesick.
We'd decided to move back to Megaton for a few months because I really wasn't in the mood to go trudging along the wasteland to Rivet City where my father was working. Lucas was happy to have me back in town, and so was Walter. My days were spent fixing things around Megaton under a blazing sun listening to Galaxy News. Amata and I usually had dinner together at home, seeing as both of us usually were exhausted. Amata spent most of her time teaching kids how to read and write, with varying degrees of success. We both come home, eat, and collapse into bed together.
It's December, getting around Christmas time. People here celebrate it sure, but they don't make a deal out of it.
"What do you want for Christmas?" I ask Amata as I lie on the couch reading.
"Do you think we should celebrate this year?" she frowns.
"Why not?" I laugh incredulously.
"I mean, we're so busy and-"
"Come ON Amata!" I smile, "what do you want for Christmas?"
She steps away from her position on the desk and frowns, "Hmmm... a book."
"A book?"
"Yes Winter a book," she scowls.
"What?" I laugh, "don't get pissy!"
She sighs and looks down, "Can I ask you something?"
"'Course," I shrug.
"Do you... do you still miss home, and Susie?"
"Not so much now, no." I shrug.
"Did you ever like anyone else in the Vault?" she asks.
I sit up and pull on my jacket, "Define 'like'."
"Never mind," she sighs, "... where are you going?"
"Shopping." I smile.
Walter pays me good money to work for him, so when I walk into Craterside Supply, the sound of jingling caps rattle against my hip.
"Morning Winter," Moira smiles.
"Hey Moira," I smile, leaning against the counter, "what do you have in the book department?"
"What do you like?" she drums her fingers against the desk.
"Oh it's not for me, it's for Amata," I sigh, "did you ever see her poking around any books in here?"
"Ugh I wouldn't just get her a book kiddo," Lucas chuckles, walking in, "she'll get pissed off if all you get her is a book."
"Why not? We got each other small things in the Vault."
"Yeah but you guys weren't dating back then."
I laugh, "Huh?"
"Yeah, the second you start dating you have to get her something special."
"We... aren't dating," I frown with a smile on my face.
"Bullshit you aren't dating," he laughs, "you two are all over each other."
"It's OK, no need to be embarrassed," Moira laughs.
"We aren't dating," I laugh, "I promise."
"Something weird," I say, smiling at Amata as she walks in, "Simms and Moira think that we're dating."
"Serious?" she frowns.
"Yeah..." I trail off, smiling.
"I think it's about time we tell them," she smiles, sliding her arms around me and nuzzling my neck.
I smile and gently grasp her wrist.
"Aw aren't you two so cute together."
"She's my cute cuddly little teddy bear," she giggles.
"Stop it now," I groan, pushing her away.
"Oh, I almost forgot, since you both have finished groping eachother, we're going to clear out the super market if you guys wanna come along...?"
I shrug, "I'm game."
Amata walks out with me.
"The hell was that?" I frown, "I was half expecting you to start ripping my clothes off in the middle of the store."
"Relax I was only having a joke. Trust me I've seen you naked before you ain't got nothing there I haven't seen before."
She walks past me and my shocked expression, "The fu... since when have you seen me naked?!"
"Since I walked in on Susie and you fucking like bunny rabbits on your couch."
"Amata!" I yell, following her, "why didn't you say something?!"
She laughs, "You're right, I should have told you about how I watched you fuck each other stupid."
"… are you drunk?"
"Of course I'm not! Why would you THINK that?!"
"Because... I don't know how you did it... but you managed to make my sex life sound... more tawdry than it already was."
We walk back home and I go upstairs to get ready, "Well, you DID sleep with a prostitute."
I cough and slide my gun into my holster.
She grins and watches me walk down the stairs, "Winter. Can I ask you-"
"Not right now," I shake my head, "wait until we clear out the supermarket first."
"It's important."
"Not right now," I repeat.
"Winter-"
"Not right now." I say sternly.
"Winter," Lucas says, "there's small raider activity around here."
"So?" I shrug, holding my hunting rifle, "we'll always be careful."
He nods and leaves, leaving me alone with a weird acting Amata.
"What?" I sigh, looking at her.
"Nothing." she says sharply, pushing past me, "let's just get this over with."
"Jesus fucking Christ." I gasp. We had approached the super market from behind, and turning the corner reveals a nice, fresh horror. Bodies, mostly decapitated and dismembered, are strung up at the entrance to the store.
Amata gags and throws up on the ground from the smell, and I touch her shoulder, "You wanna sit this one out?" I ask.
"No." she coughs, wiping her mouth, "let's do this."
Lucas does his little pep talk to the small group of 5 with us and he nods at me, "Do it."
I kick the door open and shoot one raider who was walking along a shelf.
"What the fuck?!" a raider shouts, springing up from his chair and reaching for his weapon. I yank out my pistol and shoot his chest before he can grab it.
"Move! Establish a flanking position!" Lucas shouts as the rest run into the store.
"Stay on me Amata!" I yell, running down an aisle and grabbing the dead raider's assault rifle, dropping my hunting rifle as I go. I round the corner and open fire on four raiders stumbling with their weapons. The bullets riddle their bodies and they collapse onto the floor.
"Winter! Amata!" Lucas yells, "clear the pharmacy!"
Without bothering to respond I dart over the counter and take cover behind a wall.
"Time to die kiddo!" a raider laughs as I reload my pistol. I spring out of cover and fire twice, killing him and getting shot in the shoulder in the process.
"Winter!" Amata screams.
"Argh!" I groan, clutching my arm and dropping to my knees. I clench my teeth and stand back up, trying to ignore the pain and continue. I was shot in my right arm, my dominant hand, and now I can't move it nearly as fast as I could before.
"Listen to me," I say to Amata, "I need you to take point, I can't aim now."
"I- I- I can't!" she stutters.
"You don't have a choice!" I yell at her, grabbing her shoulder with my left hand, "you can do this. I'll be right behind you the entire time OK?"
She nods and loads her gun.
We burst through the pharmacy door and Amata fires.
"Stop stop stop!" I yell, "nobody's here!"
I check every inch of the pharmacy for raiders and nod. The gunfire eventually stops and Amata and I salvage any medical supplies they bring.
"You'd think that this place'd be clean." I sigh.
"Raiders scavenge. They probably just brought all this stuff back from scavenging missions."
I walk out to Lucas, "Hey... if it isn't too much of a worry... I need to see Church."
He takes one look at my arm and nods, "Go."
Amata comes back from Megaton after Doc has patched me up. The bullet went through this time and I'm resting at home when she walks in, "How're you feeling?"
"Like someone shot me in the shoulder." I chuckle, sipping on some rum Church gave me to numb the pain.
"I'm sorry about the pharmacy..."
"Don't be," I shake my head, "I was hard on you. I never should have yelled."
She smiles softly and nods, "I'm going to go to help Moira at the general store... will you be OK here by yourself?"
I shrug, "I'll just read."
She nods and hugs me, before leaving.
A few hours later I hear the door slam and Amata walks up.
"Winter I really want to ask you something."
I hold back a groan and sigh, I was hoping she'd forgotten about it.
"What's wrong?" I ask, trying my best to sound the opposite of miserable.
She takes a deep breath, "This morning at Craterside... what did you feel?"
"Awkwardness..." I trail off, "why?"
"I... um... I... liked it."
"What do you mean?"
"I liked being that close to you. The last time we were that close you were trying to draw a mustache on my face."
"Amata do you really think that... we're a good idea?" I gesture between us.
"That's what I was driving at."
I sigh and itch my eyebrow, "I don't know..."
"Do you like me?"
"I don't know... I mean- you're my best friend and I adore you, but I'm worried what might happen if we start to.. y'know... date? I don't even know if we can date."
"Why can't we try?"
"Because if something horrible happens to you it'll be a billion times harder to move on," I groan and smack my forehead, "wait that's not what I meant."
She looks down, "Can I just... can I get just one kiss?"
I smile and start chuckling, "Um... wow this happened really fast."
"Oh shush." she smiles, grabbing my chin and pulling me into a kiss.
"Mmph!" I growl, trying to push her away before relaxing slightly. I close my eyes and move my hand to the back of her neck. Her hands move up to the side of my head and a smile crosses both of our faces. I fall against the bed and Amata sits on my waist.
I eventually break away from her and she cuddles into me, "You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that." she laughs, kissing my jawline, and looking up at me, "... well...?"
I enjoyed it, undoubtlingly I adored it. The entire time I felt like I was holding her too tight, stupidly I thought that if I let go she'd go away. Amata means the world to me, I'd rather shoot myself than let anything bad happen to her. All I wanted was to kiss her and spend the rest of the day rolling around in bed together, sharing feelings of love and. If I called her mine, and myself hers, we'd kill ourselves being so protective, more so than we already were.
When I tell her this, she still lies on me.
"'Mata?" I question.
"Shhh," she whispers, closing her eyes.
I stop moving and relax against the bed, "I still care about you..." I whisper, putting a hand on her back, "I always will."
"Winter..." she sighs, "don't leave me behind."
"I never, ever, ever will." I whisper against her neck.
"Winter...? Winter wake up."
I yawn and realize my hands have moved down to her ass. I move my hands away and mumble an apology. Damn reflexes from Susie are hard to shake off, even after 6 months it seems. Damn.
"There's no problem," she smiles, softly kissing me.
"Mmph," I mumble, pushing her away.
"What?"
"I... thought we agreed this was a bad idea...?"
"You kiss so good though..." she teases, leaning in and kissing my lips again.
"Amata!" I groan, pushing her off, "what is up with you?"
"I don't know..." she shakes her head and backing away from me, "I'm sorry... I've gotta go to work."
"Amata wait!" I gasp, running towards her while hopping into a pair of jeans, "just- stop for a second!"
"What?" her voice cracks as she turns to me.
"Come here..." I sigh, standing up and opening my arms. She walks into my arms and hides her crying. I just hold her, I don't open my mouth, I keep it firmly closed.
"I'm going to die alone..." she whispers against my good shoulder.
I don't say anything and Amata keeps crying. I sit down and hug her in my arms as she shakes against me.
"It's OK." I eventually whisper, "I promise everything will be OK."
She decides to sleep in her "room" that night. We usually sleep in the same bed in case she wakes up from a nightmare. Tonight I lie awake for most of the night, gazing at the flickers of stars visible only through the small cracks in our house. I rest the back of one arm behind my head and the other on my stomach and I glance at Amata, who had finally fallen asleep after a few hours of muffled crying.
Over these past few months I had grown to "adapt", for lack of better word, to the world around me. Killing things had became a weekly routine for me, and I was becoming sort of... numb to it. I still lie awake at night, woken up from vivid nightmares of dark, danky metro stalking packs of super mutants and ghouls. This life... I wonder what it's done to me, what it's GOING to do to me.
Knowing I was born out here, in this horrible world... I feel... almost like I belong here. The Vault sounded more like... what it was, a Vault, a safe to keep all the important treasures, or "pure" humans, locked away from threats from the other world. I was a "savage runt" according to the Overseer- or Alphonse as his highest advisors called him. His view of the outside world was blunt, everyone was a savage, uneducated and banging rocks together. Having known who and what I know now I would have laughed in his face.
I look down at my hands and wriggle my ten fingers and look at my legs. I was spared mutation, some people walk around Megaton with an extra few toes and/or fingers. I roll over onto my stomach and smile sadly at Amata. Our future together I honestly couldn't see lasting until a dear old age. We wouldn't be the old ladies drinking tea together in the cafeteria, laughing and boring each other with stories that each of us have heard a million times. The thought of us being anything beyond friends had never crossed my mind. My own mortality is a constant reminder, love, marriage and happiness seemed like a delusion to me now, with anybody much less than with Amata. Death is all around us... and yet I don't care. I don't care for sleep either. Amata on the other hand...
She isn't meant for this world. She was born in the Vault. Amata lived a sheltered life, as much as she resented that. Every bullet she fires is always a call and response. She fires, she stands numb in shock without fail. I don't know what will happen to her if I... go.
I toss and turn for a few more minutes, kicking off my blankets and bashing my pillow to try and make it more comfortable.
The constant heat from the wasteland pounds against the metal and starts to cook me. Memories of me sitting under the heating lights in the Vault to get a "tan" flicker in my mind as I start to panic a bit. Sweat pricks against my neck and along my upper lip, it gets in my hair and I shiver, rolling the legs of my shorts up so they expose more of my skin. I get really uncomfortable, I can't stay still, I'm constantly twitching and flinging myself around the bed. "Fuck it!" I scowl, getting up and walking downstairs. I walk outside with a bucket of somewhat purified water and dump the entire thing ontop of me, soaking myself head to toe. As I walk I ruffle my hair, leaving my hair spiked and difficult to manage. I grab an almost finished bottle of whiskey and walk outside Megaton. I walk past Springvale, completely unarmed, and walk up that damn hill. I open the old wooden door and walk inside the tunnel to the Vault.
"Hey!" I yell, looking up at the security camera, "Alphonse listen to me..! Amata isn't safe here... and I need you to let her back in. Just her, not me! I can leave, I can die out there alone! I'm prepared for that. She isn't meant to be out there. Just- please... can you open the door so we can talk? I'm unarmed... we both want what's best for her..."
I wait, the door doesn't open.
"Goddamit I know you're at that damn desk!" I yell, "your daughter is dying out there you sick son of a bitch!"
I wait... nothing happens.
"Fuck you!" I scream, hurling the glass bottle at the door after I chug its contents down. The glass shatters and shards smack into the skeletons beside me.
I walk back to Megaton and Amata's sitting on the couch, gun in hand and staring at the floor.
"What?" I frown.
Her head jolts up and she gasps, before shaking her head angrily at me and slamming the gun back on the table and going back to bed.
"Don't be mad..." I trail off, watching her leave.
I lie back in bed and look at Amata through both our open doors. She looks over her shoulder and we look at each other for a while, before she gets up and slams the door to her room before locking it.
I sigh and roll onto my back and close my eyes, eventually letting sleep come back to me.
...
Ha! I finally managed to break 3,000 words in a chapter! Alright now the celebrations are aside I'm sorry I couldn't post this yesterday because it was my birthday and I was busy with christmas preparations. Thanks so much to IronCross for putting his or her feedback for every chapter, it was really amazing to see I went from 3 reviews to 10 overnight. Anyways, I'll stop gushing and start work on Chapter 11 before I pass out. See you guys :-)