Part ten

Before he met Brogan, Bucky Barnes barely slept in the evenings with a usual night sleep consisting of 2 or 3 hours tops. He had never even slept in a proper bed most of the time while he was on the run. Choosing to sleep in shop doorways, park benches or any other places you could find as he desperately tried to stay off the grid and keep himself hidden from the world. Even when he did manage to scrape enough money together for a room he opted to sleep on the floor rather than enjoy the cosy warm slumber of a soft comfy bed.

One of the main reasons why he barely slept was due to his past endeavours as the Winter Soldier constantly plaguing his thoughts and dreams. Yes he was under mind control during those missions but one of the effects of it all was that his head was still pretty much full of each and every kill he had been forced to be part of. Whenever he closed his eyes, he constantly saw the faces of those who died at his hand and those haunting piercing screams from those victims as they met their fate echoed daily in his mind. These were just a few of the terrifying nightmares that filled his dreams. Sometimes his subconscious would have him replay that moment from the train as he fell to his supposed death or that moment when he was placed in the cryofreeze for the first time, reaching out in the icy cold blackness for the tiny glass window of the pod in front of him. There had been many a night when he would awake from a slumber, his heart racing in sweat soaked terror as images of the torture inflicted on him by Hydra continued plaguing his thoughts and dreams whenever he closed his eyes...

Things indeed changed for the better when he met Brogan and Bucky credited her fully for the further aid of his recovery from his PTSD and his return to somewhat normality. When they had first started to share a bed, it took him a while to adjust to this new arrangement on many levels. Not only being close and intimate with a woman once more but there was the further added stress of the terrifying nightmares still plaguing his dreams. Brogan was always on hand to help in any way she could and ease his anxieties when needed. Whenever he did awake from one of his nightmares she would ease him back to sleep with calm and reassuring words, holding him close until his eyes would grow heavy and he drifted back off. She would stroke his hair tenderly and Bucky would soon instantly relax at the sheer gentleness of her touch...

Today had been a long day for the pair of them with them. At first they broke the news of the engagement to the children and later that day also to Shuri and King T'challa. The Wakandan royals had been amazing hosts in taking the family in like they had done, so it only seemed fair that they would be one of the first to know. Shuri in particular was excited at the prospect of an upcoming wedding here in Wakanda. The children too couldn't wait with James extra excited at Bucky becoming his Papa officially. With that all done, there was still the daily running of the farm to deal with and after a long tiring day Bucky couldn't wait curl up with the woman he loved and finally get some sleep.

It was it last midnight when he finally got home after locking up the goats for the night. Brogan and the children were already in bed and fast asleep when he entered the family home. Slowly he crept to the children's room, gently nudging on the door and peered inside. Bucky smiled at the peacefully sleeping youngsters and gently closed the door behind him before heading next door to the room he shared with Brogan. The door creaked ever so slightly, he entered almost cat like and crept in hoping to not wake his love. Sitting at the foot of the bed he managed to remove his clothes eventually leaving him in just his boxers and his toned muscular torso on display.

At the exact same moment he climbed into the covers, Brogan rolled over onto her back. Her long curls covering her sleeping form and her tiny arms spread out on the soft white pillows behind her head. Bucky looked down at her, his heart full of love and devotion for the woman he couldn't wait to marry and spend the rest of his life with. At last he'd found peace and for the first time in years, found himself looking forward to a bright future. As his head fell back onto the pillow, Bucky stared blankly up at the celling and let out a deep sigh. Still he couldn't escape the feeling that something big was brewing in the air and he just couldn't put his finger on it. There was a intense change a foot and there would be nothing he could do about it. Something was going to happen soon, he knew that for sure. but what?. Even Rebecca had been acting strangely over the past few days. Like him, the little girl was almost sensing something was going to happen. Literally every night as he tucked her in bed, she constantly would ask him if he was going away or would he still love her when he went away. Whenever he had to go work on the farm, she would instantly become terrified that he wouldn't return. One night she literally clung onto his leg refusing him to leave until he promised her a billion percent he'd come home safely. Thinking nothing too much of it at the time he promised he would but with the frequent anxiety gut feelings he'd been having these past few days, he began to wonder if these emotions of change of foot and Rebecca's reluctance to leave his side were indeed connected somehow. With his heightened instincts ability heavily flowing through her veins, he knew his daughter was pre-empting the exact feelings of change that he was. Something was coming and something big was going to happen but frustratingly he still did not know what...

Gathering his thoughts he gently moved Brogan's curls away from her face and fanned them out on the pillow around her head. For him, she look like an angel lying there right now. Almost like one of those sleeping princess from the fairy tales Rebecca had him constantly read to her before bedtime. Smiling he edged forward and gently pressed his lips on hers in a sweet soft loving kiss. Brogan stirred slightly but still did not awake from her slumber. Pulling back, Bucky reached up and stroked her soft ivory cheeks with his fingertips before moving closer once again and merging his lips with hers once more. This time the kiss was full of want and deep passionate desire. A small smile quickly spread over Brogan's lips as she reached up and slipped her hand round the back of his head pulling him even closer. Her hands ran lovingly through the long wavy locks of his hair as the tender passionate kiss continued between them

"I was wondering when you'd get home" she kept one hand on the back of his head while the other slowly dropped and began to caress his torso, smoothing her palm over his abs and over his nipples "Thank you for waking me up like that though Bucky"

"Couldn't help myself...You lying there all angelic like that" he smiled slipping further into the covers as Brogan moved her head from the pillow and snuggled deep onto his chest. Bucky began to instantly relax as she now stroked his chest with her fingertips paying particular attention to his nipple area again "everything been ok tonight?"

"Yeah, Becky was still funny about you leaving to go to the farm but she was alright in the end" yawned Brogan, her eyes starting to feel heavy as sleep began to take over "I really don't know what's got into her recently..."

"I think I do..." Bucky whispered gazing out into the darkness of the dimly bedroom. He looked down at Brogan and smiled but she was already fast asleep "Goodnight honey..."

Planting a soft kiss on the top of the head he gently began to run his fingers up her arms. Before he knew it, his eyes grew heavy and he soon drifted off to sleep. Little did he know it would be a dream he'd never forget...

Slowly, Bucky's eyes began to blink furiously as streaks of sunlight began to penetrate the window of the small bedroom and blind him. Sitting up, he raised his arm and began to rub his knuckles onto his eyes, letting out a deep yawn as he began to gradually awake from his slumber. Turning to the space next to him, he suddenly grew confused when he noticed the other half of the bed was empty. He ran his hand through his hair more confused than ever as Brogan was nowhere to be seen. Majority of the time it was him that always woke up first. Choosing to wake up at the crack of dawn ready to start the day and begin work down over at the farm that he loved.

Still bemused, Bucky headed to the lounge calling out Brogan's name but was still met with a deathly silence. Darkness was all around him now and he just couldn't escape the feeling that something was wrong. There was no way Brogan would just vanish like this without telling him. Each of the candles that normally filled the room and even the log fireplace were now fully burnt out. The eerie silent atmosphere in the room freaked him out with the cold chill in the air leaving him more confused than ever. Where was everybody? His eyes scanned the room furiously for any clue to where his family had gone. Soon he caught sight of a tiny piece of paper propped up on a pillow on the sofa. Slowly he reached for it, that chill in the air once again hitting his spine as tiny goosebumps shot up over his body. Turning the piece of paper over slowly in his hand, he smiled recognising the handwriting instantly. It was Brogan's. The note read "At the farm Bucky...Love B, R and J xxx"

Quickly Bucky got dressed and raced out the door to head to the farm and join his beloved family once more. Quickening his pace, he could soon make out the figures of Brogan and the children in the distance dealing with the goats and other aspects off the farm. He called each name in turn with Rebecca spotting him instantly and racing over the field to join her father. Her face full of joy and innocence as she ran over to him with her arms open wide...

She was within touching distance of Bucky when suddenly out of nowhere there was a huge explosion that knocked the pair of them clean off their feet. Brogan gasped in horror as there was another bang, then another and another. Her mother's instinct kicked in as the ground shook below her feet and she grabbed James by the wrist in a protective lock. She screamed Bucky's name desperately calling for help and pleading for him to get to Rebecca, keeping her safe. Bucky was still down when slowly Rebecca clambered up to her feet. She immediately burst into tears rubbing the side of her head in pain as a small triple of blood fell by her ear. The little girl turned fleeing to the safety of her mother's embrace as she began to panic at not seeing her father emerge from the grassy reeds of the field..

"Mama! Where is Papa? Where is PAPA?" sobbed the youngster clinging tight onto her mother terrified "He's gone..."

Panicking Brogan scanned the grass and breathed a huge sigh of relief as she saw him get to his feet. Bucky rubbed his head and his gaze circled the spaces around him. He gasped in horror as literally all around him was engulfed in a bright fiery blanketed mass. In the distance there was another huge devastating explosion. All you could hear was piercing screams of people close by panicking and screaming for help as the flames took hold of the place that had been his home for the last several years...

"What the hell is going on?" he cried hoping for some answers. Bucky turned to face Brogan and instantly saw the fear and confusion etched in her eyes "Brogan..kids.."

Tears were now streaming down her face as she clung tighter on to her beloved children. Deep fear in her eyes as she pleaded desperately for him to help her. Instantly he ran as fast as he could over to her. If anything happened to them he never cope and it truly would be the end for him. Ignoring further explosions, he continued to run at his love as she pulled the children even closer. He was within touching distance of his family when a sudden eerie deathly silence soon filled the air. The explosions ceased, the cries of the animals turning silent as all he could hear now was his own heart beating furiously in his chest. Suddenly it became pitch black. Still confused Bucky turned to face his family and for some strange reason the three of them had their backs to him, heads were lowered. Slowly he reached out as the three turned..

"Brogan?...what's going on?" he whispered watching as Brogan lifted her head forcing out a smile to the man she loved. She pulled the children close in a deep protective embrace. Bucky reached out for her face but gasped in horror as she slowly began to vanish from his grasp. Leaving nothing behind but a foggy mist in the area where she once stood. He looked down and could just make out Little Rebecca mouthing his name and James crying as they along with their mother vanished before his eyes. His family now gone leaving him alone "Brogan..No..NO..BROGAN..REBECCA...JAMES..COME BACK...PLEASE COME BACK TO ME..I NEED YOU ALL"

His heart almost felt like it was ripped from his chest as a deep heartbreak filled his soul. He dropped to his knees, curling up into a foetal position on the floor and sobbing heavily. They were gone...his family. His world...his life...his everything...all wiped out in an instant

"Bucky...BUCKY...ITS OK..I'm here...I'm here.."

Bucky's body continued to shake as heavy pools of sweat glistened across his face and down his torso. He reached out, clinging to the sheets of the bed as heartbroken heavy tears began to fall from his eyes. He soon struggled to control his breathing as he continued to call out Brogan's name over and over. Panic and deep fear etched firmly in the tone of his words. Within seconds he sat up instantly and clasped his hand over his chest, his heart pounded furiously almost to the point of bursting clean from the very depth of his soul. Finally controlling his breath, he turned his head and was overwhelmed with relief to see Brogan very much alive next to him. Before she could respond or open her mouth, he pulled himself on top of her and pinned her deep into the bed. Pinning her down he kissed her lips, her neck and began to nuzzle in on her collarbone. It was almost like he needed proof that he wasn't still dreaming and she was really here in his arms. Bucky moved her soft curls away from her face and forced out a smile. She reached up to stroke his heavily bearded cheek and looked lovingly into those glistening blue eyes soaked with heartbroken tears

"I thought I'd lost you..." he whispered kissing her softly once again "It all felt so real... I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you like that Brogan. I couldn't cope"

"its OK..." she smiled warmly stroking his hair tenderly just as she always did to ease his fears. She instantly felt him relax and his pulse slow down to a normal pace. He lowered his head and rested it between the valley of her breasts. Holding him in place she kissed the top of his head and once again went back to softly caressing his back and hair "It was just a dream... I'm never going to be apart from you Bucky Barnes. Besides we are getting married if you have forgotten. Our future is together"

"It was surreal... you just vanished right in front of my eyes" he began replaying that moment once she disappeared into that cloudy mass along with the children "What if it's a premonition or something? Something is going to happen Brogan. I can feel it"

"Bucky you trust me right?. It was just a dream. Our future is looking brighter than ever now" she smiled continuing to stroke his back and stump of his lost arm "Remember what I told you what my dad used to say? Seize your moment and live for now" Slowly Bucky raised his head and forced out a smile as she reached forward to wipe his tears with her thumb "That's what I'm doing. I'm going to marry you James Buchanan Barnes. That alone makes me the happiest woman in the world. Whatever is on the horizon for us we are a family. This family always find each other. That's what we do Bucky"

"you're right as always" he kissed her softly and placed his head gently back on her chest "Brogan can I ask you to do something for me please?"

"Of course but I've got to admit I'm a little tired and don't think I can manage to do much to you tonight if you get what I mean Bucky.." she laughed with that familiar naughty glint in her eye. He knew exactly what she was going on about "You know I do anything for you"

"Nothing like that.." he grinned "Later maybe but for now can you sing me that song that used to do when James had his nightmares. When we lived at that apartment"

"Wow Bucky, I'm impressed you remembered about that. I'm sure I never told you I used to sing to him"

" I always remembered hearing you sing through the walls of that shitty apartment we had. I'd lie there for hours just listening to you. Your voice was always so angelic and pure. It took me away from the pain and sorrow that was going on in my life back then. I always felt my spirit soar whenever I heard you.. Please sing it... After that horrible dream I think it will help me sleep and relax. You're the only person can make me do that.."

"Close your eyes then Bucky' he nuzzled deeper into the cushion of her breasts "Nothings gonna harm you not while I'm around. No ones gonna hurt you, no ones gonna dare. Others can desert you, not to worry whistle and I'll be there" she looked down and could hear him already snoring peacefully "nothings gonna harm you...not while I'm around"