Chapter 10 – The Courage for a New Beginning

Late at night Justin is hiding in is room, reading whatever that is to keep his mind busy.

His door slowly opens to reveal Alex outside, staring at him sitting on his bed. Justin stares back at her, he thought she had understood that they have to keep distance, that he cannot take it being around her. But her face looks so distressful. She simply remains silent.

Alex comes in, closes the door and locks it. Then, for a few seconds, she just stands there, facing the door, one hand on the knob and the other splayed on the door.

"What do you want?" He cannot hold it anymore. Something weird is going on.

Alex turns around and looks at him for a second, a distressed face, rubbing her hands. Then she walks to the bed. With every step she takes Justin gets more nervous. She just doesn't say anything!

Then she sits on the bed, letting her back to him. One deep frustrated breath, she just has to find out if she can do this. She brings her legs over the bed, then scoots closer and leans against Justin's chest, exactly as she saw past Alex do.

"What are you doing?" Now Justin is the one distressed.

"Shhh!"

Alex stays very still, taking in the new feeling of being this close to Justin.

Then she pushes herself up, turning her head to the side. Her exposed neck is so close to him. It brings the memory of all the times she sighed when he kissed right there, resisting made too hard. He sinks his face just behind her ear, and she doesn't react, just lets him take her. He holds her arm to keep her close and slides down towards her neck. Alex cannot control herself when this sigh jumps out of her, the sense of Justin lips kissing her sweet spot is so maddening. Even if she tried now, she wouldn't have strength to make him stop. She just wants more. Justin's hands move to her waist. His massage on her skin sends chills all over her. How is he doing this?

Alex is beyond any self-control. She wants more, she needs more. This is not an experiment anymore, she really wants him. Alex gets up from him and turns around to look straight into his eyes. It is surprising to her, but it doesn't feel like her brother looking back at her. All she sees is the guy who kissed her, who made her feel completely out of control.

She straddles him, slowly leaning closer, laying her body on his to feel how warm he is, aware that she is almost as hot. Then she attacks his mouth, her tongue shooting right out to enjoy him. One arm of his wraps her body and the other hand finds her neck. Their mouths on each other are simply perfect.

Justin pushes himself up from the headboard bringing Alex with him, and places her on the bed, laying her down. She cannot do anything, she is too caught in the moment to react, even when he lies on top of her, kissing her again, first her lips, then going down to her neck. Dammit, the neck again. He really knows what he is doing.

He finally gets up. Her legs still around his body is more than just a sign that she wants more. He takes a second, looking at her, she doesn't take her eyes away from his. Then his eyes run down her body, the body he possessed before but now feels like brand new. Her breasts peeking up behind her braless top are so tantalizing. His hands enwrap her tiny waist, the small moves massaging her draws another sigh from her. His hands join on her belly and slide up, running over her breasts, then following her arms, now resting above her head.

Justin's face meets hers again as he covers her body. The temptation to kiss her again is overwhelming, but she faces to the side, eyes wide open and a quick and deep breathing. He stops, staring at her. There is something, a difference he cannot point, like a sign of discomfort that shows up as soon as she turns back to him.

Justin rolls off, lying beside her. He rubs his face in frustration, cursing the remains of integrity he still has left. He wants to go on, to know she wants to be his. Alex simply stares up, panting.

"Was this all a test?" He asks.

"No!" She answers with an intensity that lets out how wrong this question sounds for her. "I just coundn't…"

"What?" He sounds annoyed, now.

Alex takes a deep breath. She has to calm down. "I went back in time again." She takes a second before continuing. It is scary to say what she has to. "I went to your room to look for the book of memory spells. I was so out of myself that I forgot to cast the hiding spell. So you caught me in there, I mean the past you."

"What? When was that?" Justin questions her.

"You looked so sad. It was really scary… You took my hand and… you told me that, at that moment, you loved me more than anything." Alex turns her head to Justin, one single tear falls from her eye. She catches the shock expression on his face. "I'm sorry. That wasn't your Alex, that was me."

"That was you!?"

Alex stares back at the ceiling. If she was scared before, now it feels even worse what she has to confess. "When you kissed me, I felt something… I never felt like that. It was kind of disorienting, but it was… … great somehow." Alex says.

"You said this wasn't a test. You can't play with me like this."

"I wasn't playing. What happened to us… is still in here, somewhere. Even if I don't remember, the way it makes me feel when I'm with you… I wasn't testing, I just couldn't hold myself, because … because I like how it feels."

Justin sits up and looks straight down at Alex.

"Would you let me do it? If I hadn't stopped?"

The following seconds last so long, the time it takes for her to answer. This whole thing going through her mind, what she feels for him, how she felt just now, and the most important thing, should she tell the truth or not. Then Alex simply nods, still staring at the ceiling.

Justin cannot believe this, the answer she gave is the last thing he would expect, that she accepts him.

He rolls over her again, his hand running over Alex's belly, sliding to her waist. Their bodies close one more time bringing back the uneasy feeling of heat they felt before. She closes her eyes when her brain is taken over by the feeling of his touch. When she opens them again, his face is just in front of hers, so near, and she simply stares at him, waiting for him to do it, to kiss her again and make her feel the way she felt when he kissed her the first time. And this time she wants it, she wants to feel his lips.

Justin kisses her, slowly and tenderly touching her lips. In seconds the kiss goes from soft to passionate, from gently kissing to tongue searching.

However, as much as Justin wants to take this on, he knows Alex is still getting used to being with him. He stops and gets up, sitting beside Alex. She takes in a deep breath, coming out of the haze that takes over her every time they kissed. Justin takes her hand and pulls her to bring her up, having her sitting beside him.

"I know that you probably wanna take it slow." He tells her. "So what do you think about us going out tomorrow. Not an actual date, just have lunch together."

"To be honest, I can't remember the last time we went out together." She tells him.

"Yeah, that would be my fault." He smiles at his own joke, bringing a quick smile on her, too. "I just think we should try to spend some time together, without pranks or one trying to get the other mad. And I mean it." He completes.

"Okay! Fine! I'll do my best. But I'm telling you, I know it's gonna be hard."

Alex gets up from the bed and walks to the door, leaving Justin alone on the bed. She turns the doorknob and opens the door. Before leaving, she quickly looks back at him with a devious smile on lips and, in a second, she is out, closing the door behind her. Justin cannot stop imagining that this must have been the most real dream he has ever had. But no, this was real, it just feels like a fairy tale, where prince and princess lose each other to only find themselves again at the very end.

The rest of the night simply flies by for both of them. They don't talk about it when they meet for dinner, but the exchange of glimpses just doesn't stop.

In her bed, Alex cannot help but go over every decision she made during this impossible day. At some moments she is sure that she screwed up her life and Justin's; in other moments she thinks it is only fair to give him a chance; sometimes she curses herself for being too weak and not resisting; sometimes she curses Justin for, well, being him; sometimes she feels scared for what the future will do to them; and sometimes she feels excited for having a future with him. And the flutter she feels in her stomach when this last one comes to mind is a sign that giving him a chance outdoes the worries she can conceive. A smile escapes her lips and this is the last thing she remembers before sleeping.