Chapter Ten
I didn't have the strength to get out.
Ever since Chloe had left the day before, I had stayed in bed, trying not to feel the fatigue that ached in my bones and pounded behind my eyes. I found some multivitamins in the cabinet and took a handful. It's not like one-a-day vitamins could really do any harm. I also finished the off iron pills I took home from the hospital that was supposed to help my anemia, but I really hadn't noticed a difference.
I picked up the phone to call Jin, hoping he could drop off more supplements since I really didn't see how I had enough energy to get down to the clinic, but unfortunately I found my phone cable was down. I hung up the receiver and sighed as Hitch whimpered at my legs, wanting to go outside.
"Poor boy," I said as we walked to the door. "After all the time with Chloe yesterday you must be sorta lonely,"
I figured it would be okay to let him out to bark and play around even though it appeared to be dark outside. My alarm clock read 11:30 A.M., so I had growing suspicions as to what happened and it wasn't pleasant. As I walked by I glanced over at the fireplace, at the little clay angel Chloe had made for me. Seeing the bent wings only made my back ache more, but I just stretched out then swung open the door.
"Why am I even surprised," I said as Hitch went running face-first into a pile of snow.
My entire door was blocked with a wall of frosty white and I cursed to myself when I realized that my shovel was in the shed. Not that I was even capable of shoveling out my porch, of course, but now I was stuck inside with an antsy dog and no fire wood.
It's not that I forgot that it could blizzard overnight in Castanet sometimes; it's just that I... was preoccupied. Okay, okay, I forgot. I would keep my shovel inside the house every year during winter, but I guess that this year around I'd been too tired and sad to remember every detail of my routine. I sat down in front of the door next to my whining dog, trying to calm him down. I couldn't help but be glad that it wasn't like this when Chase had left two nights before, but after thinking about my argument another wave of sadness washed over me. I just sat there dejectedly, running my fingers through the snow. I had forgotten how pretty it was, with all the crystals and flakes coming together to make a gorgeous white fluff. It was nice to feel the sensation of cold against my fingertips, reminding me that I wasn't quite dead yet.
In one final attempt to see if I could get out, I took a broom and shoved the handle into the dense mass of snow, but I still couldn't see daylight when I brought it back in. It was the same way when I poked it through the windows on the front of the house, but I was able to get a little bit of light to come in from the side and back windows. I sighed when I remembered how I had planted flowers a few days before; there was no way I could bring them back from under five feet of snow, if it was even piled up that low.
With things the way they were, I really didn't have much of anything to do. Getting rest really was the best option at this point, so I grudgingly got back into my warm covers after cranking up the thermostat.
Now, it's not often that I have out of the ordinary dreams—you know, the kind that feel like, I don't know, they were sent to you—but as I stared into the face of the Harvest Goddess I had an uncanny feeling that this wasn't just a normal dream.
The nice thing was that I didn't feel like myself; well, not my current state of being, but the one I used to be in. The prime of my youth, toned muscles and tan skin; remembering the way I used to be was like being in someone else's body.
"Wh-what do you want with me?" I tried sound indignant, but seeing how I was feeling so good, I just couldn't be angry with her at the moment.
She just smiled in that warm, comforting way that melts away all negative emotions. "Angela," she said airily. "You have been good to me, and to these people, to my people, but you must not let your pride blind you or else you will lose everything you care about once again."
She waved her hand and in my arms was a baby. I almost dropped her out of surprise, but once I recognized her face, my anger returned.
"Why are you showing me this?! Are you trying to hurt me more than I've already been?" My voice caught in my throat.
"No, Angela; it is a gift. I must be going soon, but I can grant you a final blessing," She reached down and gently took the baby from my arms. I tried to resist at first, but I felt my arms go limp against my will.
The goddess kissed the baby's forehead and looked at her with admiration, as though she were her own child. She closed her eyes and whispered words in an ancient language, just like she did with Finn, but this time it sounded... hopeful. I could feel tears falling as the baby began dissolving into golden light, floating upward.
"Find her," she whispered, but I couldn't tell if she was talking to me or the child.
"I... I don't understand," I said after the glowing was completely gone.
"Not yet, but soon," she smiled and took my hand. "My time is short, but I need you to be patient and strong, just for a little longer."
"But what does this mean?"
"I am truly sorry that I am not able to explain; you must remember that not all blessings are what they may seem." She looked up as though someone was calling her name. "Goodbye Angela, I must go now," she started to disappear.
As her hand slipped from mine, I grabbed out but she was no longer there. That last image in my mind before I fell to my knees was her smiling face, reassuring me that everything would be okay.
"Don't leave me," I stared at the ground, feeling the despair sink in once again. "I won't know what to do without you..."
After all my time in Castanet, the goddess had been my ultimate guide. I couldn't tell if she meant she had to leave the dream realm or something worse. The more I thought about it, the fuzzier my mind became. Soon enough the lulling dream world disappeared into reality, and I woke up to the sound of scraping on my porch.
The pounding headache returned as soon as I sat up, but as I walked to the door my rested legs felt a little stronger. The first thing I noticed when I opened the door was the obvious sunlight behind the snow pile. It must have gotten thinner since I'd been asleep, but before I could get my broom, a shovel pushed through the snow and stopped three inches from my face. As the heavy snow came crashing down into my house, an unlikely face appeared behind the shovel.
"It was Father's idea," Gill said as he looked down at the snow pile that was now in my living room. "I apologize for this; we will clean it up immediately."
Hitch barked and ran out the door, almost sending the mayor's son sprawling. As soon as he caught his balance, I saw Luna's face peak out from the side of the door, but her perky smile disappeared when she continued to look at me.
"Wah, Angela! You're so skinny! When was the last time you ate?" I flinched at how much that sounded like something Finn would say. She started making her way inside, looking at me as though she was trying to take my measurements for a dress. "You're practically a skeleton! No wonder you're so weak these days!"
"Luna," Gill said in a warning voice.
I put my hand up to stop him. "It's alright,"
"What you need is a good, hot meal. Here, let me call the inn for you," she picked up my phone, but it was still not working. "That's okay," she said as she put the phone down then walked to the fridge. "There must be something in here—oh! Casserole; it's barely been touched!"
That must've been what Chase had made the other night; I hadn't even thought about that. I watched as she started up the oven and got the food heated up. Glancing at Gill I could tell that he was keeping his frustration down as he shoveled the snow from my house. I couldn't imagine this cold, take-charge kind of man with this warm, equally take-charge kind of woman. But love worked in odd ways, so that made it make sense somehow (not at all really).
In no time the food was out of the oven and Luna insisted on giving me an extra helping.
"I may not be good at cooking, but I'm a pro at heating things up. Gilly-Bear can tell you all about my skills," she winked and I could practically feel his embarrassment, not sure whether it was from the comment or her pet name for him.
Before they left, Luna made sure I ate all of the food she gave me, which wasn't too difficult considering Chase's cooking was amazing as usual, even if it wasn't fresh.
"Make sure you eat the rest of that, I don't want you looking sickly at our wedding," Luna said as she handed me an invitation.
"You can be such mom sometimes," I teased her.
"She's definitely bossy enough to be one," Gill added from where he stood at the door. He helped Luna with her coat as she lightly smacked him for his comment.
"Bye!" she smiled and waved.
"Yeah, thanks for coming; make sure to thank Hamilton for me,"
Luna was already out the door, but Gill stopped before he followed his fiancé.
"Do you feel it?" he spoke quietly.
"Excuse me?"
"The absence..." his eyes darted around as though he was looking for something. "Her absence,"
"I don't understand," I eyed him warily. I had never seen Gill act so strangely.
The look seemed to pass and he shook his head, but gave me knowing look. "I must be going; good day, Angela."
"Yeah, sure," my voice trailed off as I shut the door behind him. What was that all about?
I shook off the weirdness as I slumped into a chair. In the heavy quiet my house had just returned to, the sound of my telephone ringing made me jump a little bit. At least it was up and running again.
I picked up the receiver to hear the voice of a woman. "Is this Angela O'Neil?"
I flinched at the name. "I'm sorry, I don't go by that name anymore."
"Is your maiden name Harrison?"
"...Yes,"
"Ms. Harrison, I work with a witness protection agency, we've been looking for you for over a year."
I blinked. "Um... is there a problem?"
"No, quite the opposite. We have some information that we now feel you deserve to know," And, as if out of my dream, she said, "It's about your daughter."
A/N: A bit of a shorter chapter here, but it starts the middle part of this story. Yay! Time to move on from the theme of loss and onto that of family/friends. I can't wait to finish writing how this act plays out, but thank you for your patience with me up to this point :)