Summary: Over on Tumblr we got some asks regarding what a crossover between the current timeline of Faded Blue (e.g. Chapter 41) with canon's current timeline (e.g. immediately post A Single Pale Rose) would look like. While there wasn't enough there to get a full, concrete story going, we did generate some silly hypothetical conversations where Canon Steven completely breaks this alternate universe using all the information he now has...

Totally Serious Crossover Conversations

Pearl: But– another timeline, where Rose had a baby?! This makes no sense!

Steven: No, makes lots of sense. Like, alternate universe where my Mom was different. Sure. And she was Blue Diamond. I mean, why not? Dad apparently is just Gem Casanova. As least Blue Diamond wasn't a gigantic liar, eh, Pink Diamond?

[Rose and Pearl gasps]

Steven: Sorry, I meant 'Mom'.

Steven: Alright, everyone. Here we go. Garnet– you don't need to know everything that's going to happen, and you can open up emotionally to your friends. Pearl– we all value you as someone super smart, hardworking and kind, so you don't have to over compensate because you think we think you're just a Pearl. Also, get better at how you phrase things. Amethyst– nobody hates you because you're from Kindergarten, and the way you bury your feelings is super unhealthy.

Everyone: ….

Steven: There. That's like, 7 traumatic experiences, out of the way.

Steven: Lapis, don't leave Earth, okay?

Lapis, raising a confused eyebrow: Okay.

Steven: And don't fuse with Jasper

Lapis: Why… why would I fuse with a Jasper?

Amethyst: Maybe he means Biggs? Isn't she a Jasper?

Lapis: What? Why would I fuse with a corrupted gem? Who does that?

[Steven and Blue Pearl awkwardly stare at one another]

Steven: Uh… sorry. I… don't know you. Or, I've seen you, but we've never really talked…

Bloop: You're not my baby!

[Steven flinches, looks genuinely hurt. Bloop hesitates]

Bloop: I'm sorry. That was… unfair. You didn't ask to be in this position anymore than my Ste– our Steven. This must be very uncomfortable for you also.

Steven, watching Amethyst and Connie playing together, giggling: What the f–

Steven: [hugs Greg]

Greg: [hugs him back]

Steven: Excuse me, I'm heading off with Peri now.

Peridot: What? What are we doing?

Steven: I'm taking your limb enhancers, and going to live with you in a barn with a TV for a week.

Rose: Oh… oh my. My own– my own child! Do you know how long I've wanted a human child?!

Steven: Probably the first time you realised the kids in your human zoo were people?

[Rose's face falls.]

Rose: You know about Pink Diamond's Human Zoo?

Steven: Oh, yeah. I found out about that one when Blue Diamond came from space to put Dad in there.

Rose: Blue did what–

Steven: But at least she was trying to save Dad, I guess. I wonder, is that what Pink Diamond wanted too?

Rose: I'm sure that… Pink Diamond… had her reasons…

Steven: Growing up, I looked up to you so much. I wanted to be you. But now I know what you were really like. How could you do all those things you did to your friends?! How could you do that to Bismuth? To Pearl?