FINALLY! They're back!
I've been super excited about this chapter, though, it is a little bit different, because it's in the perspective of the Great Beasts! That's right! It's a little bit out of the ordinary and it probably won't happen again, but I felt it was important for this chapter to be from the animal's point of view. You'll find out why very soon!
Anyways, I'd better let you get on to the story already! Enjoy, and may the force be with you, always!
-Superherotiger
…
Tiger Talks
LuaKitsune- Thank you, I'm glad you like it. I think you'll really enjoy this one!
Randomness47- AHHH! Just wait until you read this one!
Gen- I know right, Briggan is awesome! He was one of my favourite characters in the books, but the poor boi was bonded with a not so great partner in this story :(
Starloverrebel- Yay! I'm glad you liked it! Hope this one lives up to your expectations!
Spectre14- No need to apologise, I'm glad you liked it!
Guest- Sorry for the wait my friend! Hopefully you enjoy the new chapter though, I made sure it was extra long to make up for it!
Shadowbridger- Ah! Sorry it's taken so long! I don't mean to leave you in suspense!
Julien Caeg- So many questions that are yet to be answered! You'll have to read to find out, won't you? ;D
SzymonO32- So glad to hear you're enjoying it!
Guest- Better read to find out! :D
…
Halawir's POV
"Come on, please stay still," the humanoid girl, Sabine, pleaded softly.
She had been trying to inspect my wounds from the moment the ship had jumped into hyperspace, away from the conquerors... And away from...
I ruffled my feathers anxiously and continued pacing back and forth with a restless conscience. All I could think of was that heart stopping moment. The boy's admittance of trust and faith in me, despite our frequent clashes. His defensive cry as he wrestled Briggan to the ground to protect me. The sight of my partner's terrified expression as he was held at blades length...
I could see so many things with my sharp vision, but what I never thought I'd witness was fear in my friend's electric gaze.
My focus was momentarily captured as a new figure entered the common room. Ezra's teacher, Kanan, was looking as dishevelled as ever, with his hair ungroomed and his eyes distant pits of guilt. His shirt was still stained from the fight, though his unofficial mate had wrapped his wounds up securely. Said Twi'Lek entered the room not far behind with her small hare cradled in her arms as she stroked its white fur in comfort.
The air was thick with a deafening silence, none willing to speak the first word. After Kanan had informed the others of the events that had unfolded in the prison block when first boarding the ship, each member had adopted a different reaction. Zeb had become as agitated as his Fyrnock partner, his anger and frustration at the loss of their friend pulsing around him like a hurricane. Sabine had become surprisingly subdued after the news, allowing her normally feisty and sharp personality to soften into a sympathetic and caring manner. Even her energetic otter was resting meekly on the girl's lap. Hera had been forced to keep a strong focus during the escape, but only now was I able to see the tired lines marking her green skin. Her hand was almost instinctually stroking the white fur of her spirit animal, her eyes trailing the torn Greencloak ahead of her.
The man looked the worst of all of them, with cuts and bruises lacing his skin and a haunted look in his eyes. It reminded me of the distant gazes he would share before Donn had returned from passive state... As if his soul was vacant from the body it inhabited...
With my keen sight I saw his fingers absentmindedly twitch for the comfort of his partner, but turning my gaze to the panther I realised he was refusing to move. He was curled up in a ball of sleek, black fur, hiding in the corner of the room. I knew he felt his partner's silent call as his ears had twitched in sync with Kanan's shudders, and yet, he didn't leave his position on the floor. I cocked my head curiously at the two, confused and a little worried as I noticed Kanan's posture deflating further at the sudden realisation.
It was strange for Donn to not respond, especially for the one he cared for the most. But then again, the bonding sickness had taken a toll on my friend's fragile mind, dragging him into a state of wild instinct that he couldn't control. And I understood his reluctance, as he had confided in me that the fear of attacking or even killing his partner was worse than the chains of illness that bonded them together.
I bristled at the mere thought, my head lowering in sympathy for the two.
"Kanan," Sabine spoke, her voice weary. "Halawir won't let me touch him, let alone wrap his wing up."
That aquamarine gaze lifted for a moment, locking with my fierce amber stare before he swiftly turned away. I could see guilt welling with every part of his body language, and the fact he couldn't even bare to look at me showed how deeply he was affected. As if gazing upon me were staring into the eyes of his captured apprentice...
"Don't know why the bird brain wouldn't," the Lasat muttered from across the room. He was laying down solemnly on one of the seats, his hand resting reassuring on his Fyrnock's shell-like skull as his eyes stared blankly at the roof. "He got beaten up pretty bad, and was lucky to survive," he stated sourly. "Why the kriff wouldn't he want our help?"
"Maybe he's in too much pain?" Sabine suggested softly.
Zeb scoffed, finally breaking his gaze from the roof to look at the girl with an arched brow. "The bird had arrows, swords and spears lodged in every muscle by the time he died in the war. How in the galaxy would this be any more painful than that?"
"Or a snake bite to the neck," Chopper added sarcastically.
I bristled at the sour memories these creatures were stirring within me. Me, and many of my brethren, had been brutally slaughtered during the last war. And despite my presence, they didn't flinch in retelling my death, as if I were some mere fairy-tale.
So, in retaliation I puffed out my feathers, making me appear twice my size as I paced to the edge of the table away from the girl. And to reinforce my point I tilted my head up indignantly, closing my eyes.
Sabine groaned, saying sharply "Now look what you made him do!"
"Just grab him if it's such a big deal!" Zeb grumbled with a sarcastic roll of his eyes.
"Look, if you think you can do any better than be my guest!" Sabine snapped, her patience wearing thin.
But before Zeb could muster a snarky reply Hera stepped in, her animal vanishing in a flash as she said warmly "Let me try, Sabine. I'm sure he'll come around eventually."
With a grateful nod from Sabine she continued forward with a sympathetic gaze as the girl stepped away from the circular table to allow her captain to sit. The Twi'Lek sat down and took the first aid in her hands, gazing carefully into my sharpened eyes. She held the stare with confidence, our wills clashing in a silent battle for dominance. Ever so slowly, she began to reach forward, but I screeched at her as a warning to stay away.
"Halawir," she started firmly, her brow lowering in a disappointed frown. "Your wing is injured, and I know you're in pain."
I scowled at the woman. Pain? Like she knew what pain was! Pain is getting stabbed through the chest with a spear. Pain is watching fellow comrades fall to the toxin of a monster. Pain... Pain is the feeling of helplessness as you abandon your connection, your partner, your friend!
I may not have always had a high opinion of humans, but the boy had earned my respect. Maybe it was his defiance. Maybe it was his sarcastic tone. Or maybe it was because when I looked into his ocean blue eyes, I saw a reflection of myself, young and fierce with a warrior's spirit.
I never thought in my entire life that I would even consider harbouring compassion for any creature other than my Great brothers and sisters. And yet here I was, stewing over the sacrifice over my human partner. Part of me was almost mad at the boy for lowering me to such weakness...
Hera, releasing a tense sigh, allowed her muscles to slack and her expression to soften. "I know you miss him..." She spoke quietly, her voice as smooth as honey.
An irritated rumble sounded in my throat.
She leaned forward, continuing in a mournful voice "I miss him too..."
The vulnerability in her tone forced me to gaze up at the woman. Those shimmering crystals eyes, as clear as emerald, bore deep into my soul. In a simple gaze I saw her concern, her fear and her care swirling like a gentle ocean breeze in her soul. Immediately, I came to recognise the same emotions I felt within me, and realised the comfort found in the mutual understanding between the two of us.
She smiled gently, as if noticing my lowered emotional shields. "You know, we all want to save Ezra," she spoke, her voice soft yet brimming with confidence. "And I swear to you Halawir, we will get him back."
Her words filled my chest with a secure confidence as I raised my beak to the air. She was right. We wouldn't let the conquerors get away with this, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let them take the lives of my brethren again, including Ezra.
"So," Hera continued, her expression one of sympathy. "If you want to be ready for saving Ezra, you're going to have to be in your best condition, aren't you?"
I paused at her words, before tilting my head to gaze on her with my glassy amber eye, amused at the cunning of the Twi'Lek. I knew exactly what she was hinting at, and judging by the mischievous gleam in her eyes, she knew as well.
Reluctantly, I craned my neck to gaze over my battered body. The once gleaming and clean feathers were now stained with a crust of blood and hiding a layer of bruised and tender flesh. I had tried to ignore the throbbing in my muscles for hours now, clinging onto my frustration as a way to distract from the pain. It seemed stupid for a Great Beast to seek help from mere humans. But now I could see that if I was ever going to save my partner, I would need the help of this crew to support my weakened state.
Cautiously, I inched across the table towards the captain, refusing to make eye contact. But she didn't seem to mind as her shoulders visibly loosened when I approached. Once I had stopped in front of her, I lowered myself to the table and settled down, releasing the tension in my body. Calmly and carefully, Hera brushed a finger down the feathers on my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.
I chirped a short, sweet note to let her know I was giving her permission to fix my wing.
And once she got the signal she set to work, cleaning the wounds, applying bacta, and wrapping my injured limb into a secure sling to prevent further damage. Her touch was as gentle as my feathers, the rhythmic sound of her breathing enough to keep me entranced. It seemed only now the exhaustion hit me ten-fold, having to fight to keep my eyes from fluttering shut.
But though the idea of slumber was tempting, I couldn't help but notice the shadow in the corner begin to shudder.
Kanan, who was having a brief conversation with Zeb, didn't notice his panther shifting awkwardly in the corner. I watched with sharp vision as Donn's golden eyes sprung open in distress, using a paw to scratch at his muzzle in an agitated rumble.
Concern welling in my chest, I called out "Donn."
His eyes flickered up at me, as did the many other eyes in the room. Hera seemed confused at my sudden screech, but I nuzzled into her palm as a signal I wasn't indicating to her. Once she realised this, she continued on with her work while the others went back to their own business.
Donn, who -besides the other spirit animals in the room- was the only one who understood my call, wearily rose to his feet. He glided towards me gracefully, clinging to the wall so not to attract his partner's attention. And once he made it to the base of the table, he gazed up at me with an exhausted and pained expression.
"Are you alright?" I asked softly, my concern only doubling.
His whiskers twitched unnaturally as he purred "I don't know, my head is... throbbing..."
I hesitated, before murmuring warily "Is it... the sickness...?"
A growl rolled around in his throat as he pressed his eyes shut and clawed at his skull again. "I... I-I don't know," he whimpered fearfully. "It h-hurts..."
Leaning forward, a soothing tune left my mouth in an attempt to calm his nerves. It seemed to work slightly, as his posture slacked and his sharpened teeth that were once clamped together had finally loosened. He took deep breaths, his dull eyes cold and hollow.
"Halawir," he sighed. "I can't do this anymore..."
"Isn't there some way to fix it?" I replied.
He shook his head slowly, his gaze downcast. "I thought... I-I thought it would be easier, n-now that he's older..." The cat murmured softly.
I gazed over at the man across the room. His shirt, which had been slashed in a few places during the battle, allowed the skin of his arms and shoulders to be revealed when they often weren't. And embedded in his flesh were trails of pale, faded scars, teeth marks and claw streaks. It only took me a moment to realise where he'd earned those scars from.
"Was... Was it always like this?" I probed cautiously, not wanting to drag up any bad memories for the beast.
He scoffed lightly, and as a clarity filled his once vacant mind, he spoke "From the moment I was dragged back into this galaxy, we were in pain. Bound together by illness, we were thrown into the war without even a say in the matter..."
"The fighting, the battles, the death..." Donn paused, his voice a hollow whisper. "... It was... It was all t-too much for such a young kid... And the sickness only made it worse..." My chest ached for the beast as he continued on in a pained and frustrated tone "After everything we went through, I'm surprised he doesn't hate me…"
"Donn, he cares about you so much. He-"
"He deserved better!" The panther snapped, his lips pulled back in a vicious snarl. Hera shot a nervous glance at the beast as she continued to wrap my wing, while Kanan's aquamarine orbs flickered towards us.
I shifted anxiously under the sudden attention and desperately tried to ignore their gazes. But Donn was oblivious to their eyes, muttering fiercely "I-I hurt him so much! I used to bite h-him, without even a reason to! I-I dislocated his shoulder once when I w-was just messing around!"
"Donn, you know it wasn't your fault," I tried to reason, keeping my voice soft and quiet.
"But he was just a kid..." Donn whimpered, lowering his head in shame.
"...I could have killed him..."
A tense silence passed over the room. The humans had momentarily hesitated in conversation at Donn's outcry, while I sat still, at a loss for words. I raked my mind desperately for something encouraging to say, something to make him feel better, but found nothing. And as the silence drew longer, Donn's twitching only worsened, his muscles rippling in spastic jolts.
But when the tension became too tight to bear any longer, I admitted solemnly "I wish I knew how to help..."
It was true, I didn't have much experience with the bonding sickness, and I surely never thought I'd see a friend suffer like Donn had. And it was scary to think that Ezra and I could have been condemned to the same fate too, a state of constant turmoil and instability. It amazed me that the two had been able to make it so far.
"C-Can't you do that wing thing again?" He stuttered, his eyes wide and pitiful. "Y-You stopped me before you c-can do it again right?"
Bowing my head, I explained mournfully "I was only able to calm you both long enough for your own conscience to take over. If you go too far I can't save you." And gesturing with a flick of my beak to Hera, I added softly "And besides, my wing is injured. I couldn't help even if I tried to step in..."
Donn released a low, strained whine, burying his head into the metal floor. "I don't w-want to do it again..." He rambled as his body shuddered rhythmically. "I... I-I won't hurt him again...!"
My expression softened for the panther.
Glancing over at the Greencloak, I realised he was shifting from foot to foot anxiously, his hands held behind his back to restrain his fingers from twitching. It's obvious Donn wasn't the only one being affected.
But the disgruntled whimpers and whines from Donn only further attracted the attention of the crew, until Hera glanced over at Kanan with a nervous nod. And suddenly, I was forced to watch the events unfold before I even had a chance to prevent it. Kanan had stepped forward at Hera's signal, attempting to calm his partner by resting his hand on Donn's head.
Wrong move.
The panther's whimpers shifted to snarls as his jaws snapped up at the man fiercely. The Greencloak was able to pull his hand away just in time, his face a picture of horror as he hissed "Donn what is wrong with you?!"
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?!" Donn spat, rising to his feet as his fur stood on end. "Everything Caleb! Can't you see?! It's all my fault!"
"Donn calm down," Kanan spoke, desperately trying to sooth his friend. He began stepping back cautiously, his hands raised to protect himself.
"How can I be calm?! Fifteen years and were still as broken as before!" He roared in agony, shaking his head to and fro.
"Donn!" I called, struggling up to my feet. I hopped towards the edge of the table and yelled "Stop Donn! It's not worth it! Remember what you told me!"
"Stay out of this bird brain!" He replied acidly, before immediately fixing his eyes back on his concerned partner. There was a hungry look in those eyes, savage and untamed. My feathers bristled as I realised Donn was losing control.
"Donn," Kanan grunted, his jaw twitching as he forced himself to stay composed. "Don't do this again..."
"You think I wanted this?" He cried, his teeth gleaming as he began to stalk towards the man. "You think I want to feel like this anymore?!"
Kanan took a stabilising breath as the others began to rise cautiously to their feet. They all exchanged a worried gaze, unsure of how to help the situation. But I knew that there was only two ways this would end. They would both snap out of it and calm down. Or...
"Donn," Kanan repeated, bravely lowering himself to his knee. "I know you're hurting, but if you just listen to me-"
"Why should I listen to you?" the Panther growled as gleaming midnight claws extended threateningly from his paws. "You never listened to me, did you?!"
"Donn I-"
"No, you listen this time!" He snapped, cutting off his partners plea. "If you had trusted me fifteen years ago at the last battle you would have known that Gerathon was coming! If you had listened to me you would have known the reinforcements were Conquerors! If you had listened to me we wouldn't haven't lost the kid just then!"
His words pierced my chest like a knife, Ezra's petrified gaze flashing across my vision. Within a single moment a flood of emotions washed over me. Fear. Shame. Regret. Sadness. Donn's words had shaken my soul, rendering me speechless and surrounded by an unseen chill.
In too much shock to even attempt to intervene, I sat eerily still as the quarrel spiralled out of control before me.
"Donn," Kanan spoke firmly as his brow lowered, unable to understand his animal's cries. "Enough."
"No!" Donn hissed, snapping his jaws shut. "You humans never listen!"
"Donn that's enough!" Kanan repeated, raising his voice. He rose to his feet intimidatingly, the sympathy drained from his expression. I noticed his lip twitching, his teal eyes becoming stagnant, and cold. And glancing back to the panther, I saw the hunger consume his vision, his claws glinting in the artificial light.
"Donn," the man warned in a sharp, toxic tone. "Step. Down."
The beast only growled, rumbling menacingly at the bottom of his throat as he stalked the Greencloak like prey.
I'd seen this before. The hallway, back on the conqueror ship. They were shifting into fighting stances, their consciences overridden by the disease that infected them.
Except this time, there was no one who could save them...
Without a single warning, Donn pounced at his partner with a savage, unhinged roar. His weight pushed the two to the floor with a sickening crack, though Kanan with hazy, furious eyes threw punches at the big cat's skull in retaliation. The crew watched on in horror as Greencloak and panther began brawling on the floor with vicious cries and shouts. All we could do was watch helplessly as human and beast, friends to enemies, fought without mercy, and with only one intention. To survive.
Donn, unsheathing his razor claws, swung at the man pinned beneath his weight. Kanan raised his arms to protect his face, but only gave access for the panther's jaws to clamp down on his wrist. The Greencloak screamed, and with a hostile grunt, he managed to wrestle the beast to the floor and reverse their positions.
But this was not the collected, stoic leader the crew was familiar with. No, this man was someone else as he began pummelling Donn with a barrage of punches and kicks.
The beast didn't take the attacks kindly, kicking his unstable partner in the gut and throwing him into the wall with an echoing thud. Kanan moaned as he shook his head in disorientation, unaware that the shadow-like cat had already bounded to his feet and was charging once more for the Greencloak.
Within a flash claws and fists began flying again as the two continued their battle.
"What do we do?!" Sabine exclaimed, searching desperately for guidance in Hera's emerald eyes.
The Twi'Lek was petrified, her mind racing as time slipped between her fingers. No one had any idea what to do. This must have been the first time any of them had witnessed something like this. They probably couldn't even comprehend the idea of fighting one's own spirit animal!
Zeb, tired of sitting by and watching the horrors unfold, ran towards the two and yelled "Kanan snap out of it!"
But his words were not enough.
As soon as the Lasat was within reach Donn whipped around and swiped his claws at the alien. Zeb was able to keep him at bay with his bo-rifle, jamming it into the beast's jaws to prevent those sharpened teeth from finding a target. They continued to struggle for a few moments longer, the Fyrnock Razor dashing to assist his partner.
Kanan leapt to his feet, seemingly running to assist Zeb and his attempts of defence. But suddenly, the man kicked Razor square in the jaw as he grasped onto the bo-rifle fiercely.
"Kanan!" Zeb barked, his eyes wide and distraught. "What are you-"
"Stay out of this!" He scowled with a tone of venom, dragging the rifle from Zeb's grip and forcing him to the floor with a harsh shove. Sabine and Hera rushed to the Lasat's side to defend him, but Kanan's attention was no longer on the crew.
It took only a moment for Donn to leap forward again, teeth bared and pupils dilated into deadly slits. But this time, Kanan had a weapon, swinging it in the air and hitting Donn mid-jump. The Panther was thrown to the floor, before being tackled again as Kanan discarded the bo-rifle in exchange for fist fighting. There they brawled once more.
A cut down Kanan's chest.
A trail of blood from behind Donn's ear.
Primal cries of fury and agony filled the room as they relentlessly struck each other.
It was like nothing I had ever seen in my life...
Until finally, the battle went too far for anyone to stand by any longer.
Kanan, who had seemingly gained the upper hand and wrestled Donn into the floor, was suddenly flipped over and pinned to the ground. Before he could react, the Panther drew his bloodstained claws to the air and raked them across Kanan's face. The man screamed, three deep, long wounds now embedded in his cheek. Sickly red blood trickled down his neck as he lay still, gasping for breath but finding no relief. It was obvious his energy had faded, unable to fight the beast any longer as his dazed, unknowing eyes levelled with the glare of the person he no longer recognised.
But Donn, lips pulled back in a snarl and teeth gleaming in hunger, hadn't finished yet.
It happened so quickly none of us could even believe he'd done it.
Rearing his head, the Panther had released a savaged growl and lunged for the man, clamping knife-like teeth around the tender flesh of his partner's neck. Kanan's cry of agony was deafening, the crew staring in horror as the beast tried to take a killing blow to his own partner.
"Razor!" I cried to the Fyrnock across the room. "Bite Donn's arm! Now!"
The creature, though hesitant at first, briefly nodded and bounded forward. He locked his jaws onto Donn's arm, causing the Panther to release his own grip on Kanan's throat to allow him to cry out.
Hera took the opportunity immediately, signalling the others as they all sprinted forward and grabbed onto the two. Zeb, with the help of Razor, managed to pin Donn to the floor while keeping his snapping jaws out of range. Hera and Sabine on the other hand had dragged Kanan to his feet, gazing over him anxiously but still holding him in a tight lock in case he became aggressive once more.
The pair now distanced and secured, I cautiously jumped down to the floor and ran to the Panther swiftly. Once in front of his face, I called out "Donn, Donn calm down! This isn't you! Snap out of it!"
The beast didn't hear me, attempting to snap and bite like an untamed monster attacking its prey.
I jumped back cautiously, but still, I wouldn't give up on him so easily.
Taking a deep breath, I kept my gaze strong and locked onto his, those shimmering sun-like orbs consumed with a thirst for blood. I stepped forward confidently, fully knowing that one bite from the Panther could be the end of me. But still, I wasn't afraid.
"Donn," I repeated firmly as I puffed out my chest. "This is not you."
He merely growled, the sound deep and menacing.
"You are better than this," I hissed. "You are stronger than this!"
His lip twitched into a fierce snarl.
"You aren't just some house pet Donn, you aren't some feral cat in the forest!"
Pupils held in lethal slits, his gaze boiled with so much hatred it was hard not to flinch at.
"You are so much better than that Donn," I spoke, my voice softer than before as I watched my friend with a gentle expression. "Because you are a Great Beast…"
Something flickered in those golden orbs. Was it understanding? Realisation? Recognition?
Whatever it was, no matter how briefly it had appeared, I knew immediately that Donn was fighting back. Trying to spur him on, I fluttered excitedly and cried "That's it Donn! Fight it! Fight for yourself! Fight for Kanan!"
The panther released a short, pained grunt as that same look flashed across his face once more, struggling to regain control.
"Yes Donn! Keep fighting!" I cheered as hope swelled in my chest.
His claws raked the metal floor in agony, sparks flying underneath his heavy paws and stray blood dripping above his left eye from a nasty gash. His pupils began shifting unnaturally, dilating back and forth rapidly as he kept his gaze steady on me.
"Come on Donn you can beat it!" I snapped, daring to step closer as I urged "You're stronger than the sickness, you can win!"
His jaws tightened and his ears pressed back against his skull. A new emotion flashed across his vision, one I recognised immediately. Determination.
Donn was forcing back the illness, struggling against his opponent desperately as a strained whimper slipped from those clamped, bloodstained teeth. He just needed one final push, one more burst of energy to fully regain control. So, I craned my head closer, and opened my mouth to whistle a gentle, soothing tune, my final attempt to aid his internal battle of will.
And as soon as the melody passed through the air his ears immediately perked up, alert and observant. I watched on as his pupils continued to battle, his expression shifting between fury and sorrow relentlessly.
But soon enough, his shoulders began to slack, the tension in his jaw gradually releasing. His pupils dilated into large, disoriented disks and he lowered his head to the floor with a ragged gasp. Exhaustion finally hitting the beast, his eyelids drooped heavily, his tongue lolling from his mouth lazily. I gazed over the beast quickly to make sure he was stable again, but seeing no signs of aggravation, I shuffled closer and nudged my beak against his muzzle.
Donn's stagnant, golden eyes shifted towards me, filled with pain and confusion. "H-Halawir…?" he whispered, his voice raspy and coarse.
"It's alright, I'm here," I replied as my heart pounded out of my chest in relief. "I-I'm here…"
He took a few moments to regain his breathe, each puff of air hot and shallow as his body went limp. I waited for him patiently and rested my head on his muzzle, just to let him know I was still there. I was sure he needed all the reassurance possible right now.
After his breathing had levelled out and his eyes opened with a new clarity, I stepped back and examined him carefully.
His gaze was much sharper now, the events seeming to finally catch up with him once he realised the Lasat pinning him to the ground and the two members fawning over his partner behind me. Horror washed over his face, and he suddenly tried to move before Zeb pushed him to the floor once more. "W-What's happening!?" Donn sputtered anxiously as his fur bristled once more. "Did we-? Did I-?!... Where's Caleb?!"
"Donn, calm down for a second," I hushed, trying desperately to calm his nerves. Thrashing around wasn't going to give the best impression after what had just occurred, and though I knew Donn was back in control, the crew couldn't communicate like I could with the panther. They would just think he was still out to fight his friend.
Donn groaned as he tried to push himself up, fighting against Zeb and Razor's weight as they resisted with equal strength. "Donn don't move," I said. "They don't mean to harm you."
"W-What's happening!? Why are they holding me back!?" he asked through a shaky breath, still struggling against the two above him. "I-I need to see C-Caleb… Is he injured?!"
"Donn, listen to me," I spoke sternly, managing to capture his gaze as I explained "You and Kanan lost control. You fought one another, and you are both very injured. The crew is detaining you until-"
"I-I hurt him?!" Donn roared in terror, his muscles flexing and claws scraping against the floor.
"Donn you-"
"No, n-no, no!" he muttered fiercely. "I said… I said I'd never h-hurt him again!"
"Donn-"
"No, no this is all wrong! Where is Caleb?!" he cried, kicking his legs frantically and throwing his head back in distraught wails, screaming his partner's name. "Caleb! Caleb! Caleb where are you?!"
His loud howls caused the others to stir, and a new voice spoke behind me.
"D-Donn?!"
I twisted around to see Kanan, his eyes now clear and focused, staring at his thrashing partner in horror. His neck was bleeding profoundly from the bite marks, though Hera and Sabine had tried their best to bandage the wounds with tattered strips of Kanan's shirt. And the three scars on his face were still prominent, bright red and oozing blood down his chin in steady streams.
But regardless of his own injuries, the man rushed to aid his partner, swiftly being stopped by Hera and Sabine as they held him back.
"Let me go!" he cried desperately.
"Kanan, you're injured!" Hera replied firmly, restraining him by the shoulder.
"He needs me!" the Greencloak yelled.
"He could still be ill," Sabine tried to reason as she hesitantly kept him at bay. "Donn may try to attack still!"
"No he won't! Just let me go!" he barked, before managing to push against their resistance enough that they were forced to release him. The man scrambled across the floor, his hands dried with blood and his muscles still weak, but never the less pushing onward.
I stepped to the side and screeched gently at Zeb, a warning for him to move.
Razor took my signal immediately, pushing the Lasat off the panther with a shove as the beast immediately leapt to his feet. Closing the distance Kanan threw his arms around his partner and buried his face into the fur of his neck. Donn returned the embrace willingly, wrapping his muscly arms around the man's back with sheathed claws and pulling him close. Kanan's chest lurched in weak sobs, and Donn whimpered with every exhale, the sound of grief and devastation filling the silence.
The others didn't dare approach, unwilling to interrupt the two as the consequences of an ill bond finally came to light.
They stayed like that for a while, taking comfort in the presence of the other despite their deadly battle just mere minutes ago. It was only once the cries had died down enough that Kanan finally pulled the beast back, holding Donn's muzzle in both hands as he gazed on him with tearful eyes. He ran his crimson-stained fingers through Donn's fur, wiping away the trail of blood over his eye with a shaky hand. And yet, he didn't break his eyes from the panther's, their regret, their sorrow, and their pain all conveyed within one, simple gaze.
"Donn," he whispered softly, his voice hitching. "I-I'm so sorry…"
The panther, peppered with cuts and clumps of lost fur, stuttered fiercely "H-How can you blame yourself after w-what I did to you… to your neck, to your face!"
Kanan couldn't understand the panther, but when Donn began anxiously prodding the bandages on his neck the Greencloak seemed to get the message. He allowed the beast to gently nose his wounds, before pulling him back and whispering "I-It wasn't you, I-I know it wasn't your fault Donn…"
"But Caleb it was me," he whimpered while lowering his head in shame. "I-I did it again… I hurt you, I almost killed you…"
A thick silence consumed the space, Kanan nervously stroking Donn's fur as he desperately tried to coax the panther to look at him. And yet, Donn refused to return his gaze, staring intensely at the blood pooling on the floor as it dripped from Kanan's scars. The scars he had inflicted on the man.
Both were injured fiercely, worse than any damage the Inquisitor freak or bile-washed Briggan could even dream of inflicting. Kanan had been graced with scratches and cuts all along his arms, legs, shoulders, and chest, without even counting the three menacing wounds along his face. But certainly the worse of them all had to have been the bite marks on his neck, a permanent reminder of how his own Spirit Animal had almost silenced him for good. If Razor had been even a second too late… who knows if Kanan would have survived…
Donn on the other hand was able to conceal his wounds behind that sleek, inky fur, but to my trained eye, he was as badly beaten as his counterpart. Blood oozed slowly from the cuts that covered his body, a trail leaking from just behind his ear and a particularly bad gash along his hind leg. I could also tell one of his front paws had been twisted or strained somehow as he refused to place any weight on the arm, holding it in the air anxiously. His once pristine fur was now crusted with blood, patches missing from where Kanan had ripped the hair out in his rampage. And yet, the wound over his eye was the most obvious, unable to be concealed by fur as it dripped steadily over his golden eye, like a gentle, red waterfall cascading down his face.
They were both a wreck, but nothing compared physically to what torture they must be feeling mentally.
Kanan's jaw was shaking, like someone who had been thrown into an icy ocean and was unable to warm up, and his fingers shuddered with panic. He was scared, I could see it in his eyes. But not of Donn, no, no, it was almost the complete opposite.
"D-Donn," the man stammered as the beast continued to stare at the floor. "I… I-I need you to-, to look at me…"
Donn's eye twitched, his shoulders tensing.
"Donn please I can't-, I-I can't do this ah, alone…" he begged weakly, clutching onto a fistful of his midnight black fur for comfort. The panther didn't move at first, but unable to resist his partner's pitiful sobs he gazed up at him with guilt-ridden eyes.
Kanan inhaled sharply, his breathing tense and shaky as he whispered "I-I'm so sorry, Donn… I never meant for this to h-happen…"
That golden gaze softened as Donn leant into the palm of Kanan's hand and replied wearily "Please, don't blame y-yourself, Caleb… You know it wasn't your f-fault…"
The man leant forward, sliding his arms around the Great Beast's neck and embracing his friend tightly. "You know… you I never meant to hurt you…" he murmured, tears falling down his cheeks.
"Of course I know that C-Caleb! H-How could I ever think otherwise…?" Donn replied softly, a purr rumbling in his chest as he gently nuzzled into the man's touch. Clenching his eyes shut, the panther sighed "How will you ever forgive me… after everything I've put you through…"
Of course, Kanan couldn't understand Donn's words. But regardless he allowed his eyes to slide shut as he soaked in the presence of his partner, saying softly "W-We're going to figure this out… I promise…"
A deep silence filled the room, almost suffocating as the tension stirred within the space. The crew members, already shaken from Ezra's sacrifice and now facing internal conflict within the group, could only watch from the sidelines, unable to help. But then again, no one was able to help what had infected the human and beast. Their connection was strong, fierce, powerful, and yet the same thing that bound them together was the same thing that tore them apart.
And that was a realisation the panther could no long live with…
Placing a heavy paw on Kanan's chest, he pried the man away gently, forcing him to release his comforting embrace. The Greencloak seemed lost at first, obviously in need of support from his partner, who instead pushed him away with a pained expression. They shared a long gaze, entranced, before golden orbs shifted to Kanan's scratched and battered torso. His pupils narrowed as he examined the damage he had inflicted, before gingerly, he unsheathed his claws and drew the torn fabric to the side.
Confusion plagued Kanan's face, but only once Donn had exposed his chest did his expression flicker to one of horror.
"No, NO!" he stuttered fiercely, shoving Donn's paw away in defiance. "You can't! Not again!"
"It's the only way you'll be safe from me, Caleb," the beast replied.
I felt my muscles tense as I finally realised what my friend was implying they do. Scrambling forward in a flurry of wings I glanced up at the towering cat and said "Donn wait, think about this! If you go into passive state Kanan will have to fight on his own, while being injured. He could die!"
"He will die if I stay out," he hissed, his penetrating gaze levelling my own for only a mere second. But within that single gaze, I could tell that Donn's protectiveness had taken control, willing to save his partner from anything that caused him danger. Even himself.
And it was at that moment I knew that nothing I said would matter to the beast. His mind was set. The only one who had even a slight chance of coaxing him out of it was Kanan himself.
The Greencloak's breathing rose to a shallow hitch again, panic overwhelming the already unstable man as he spat swiftly "I won't let you!"
"You can't stop me," he replied, his tone firm and brimming with authority.
Kanan's knuckles turned deathly white as he balled his hands into fists from frustration. "You can't just run from me again Donn," he scowled.
"I'm not running," the beast replied simply. "I'm saving you."
"You hid yourself away, and you never came back to help me," Kanan pointed out sharply. "How many times could I have died just from you not being there?"
"And how likely is it that you would have been found and captured immediately if I had been at your side?" Donn retorted. "I was a walking target, and you needed to blend in."
"We could have been a team."
"You were better off alone."
"I was only a kid!"
"All the more reason for me to stay away."
I watched on tensely as the argument continued, the two throwing one reason after the other in an attempt to win the fight, even if Donn was the only one who understood the both of them. His human counterpart grew restless with each defiant growl he received from the panther, the cat unwilling to change his decision. "You think going back there is going to help?" Kanan spat, gesturing to his chest. "I need you now more than ever Donn. I can't do it without you!"
"Look at your face Caleb. Look at it!" Donn roared defensively, rising to his feet and nudging Kanan's wounds with his paw. "I did it to you! I almost killed you!"
Kanan winced as the feline prodded at his injuries, instinctively pulling away from his touch with a pained hiss. And as if knowing what his friend were implying, he spoke softly "…You know I don't blame you Donn…"
"I don't care!" he snapped, striding forward fiercely. The crew behind me tensed as the panther stalked imposingly towards his partner, now aware that the two could turn on each other with the flick of a switch. But I could see that Donn was the one in control this time. The bonding sickness had nothing on the determination Donn possessed when it came to those he loved.
With his head held high, the panther looked down on the man kneeling before him with a fierce gaze. "Now, move, Caleb," he ordered in a deep, menacing rumble.
The Greencloak didn't respond. His hand rested shakily on his chest to keep the animal from going to passive state. His hazy, aquamarine orbs remained fixed to the floor, unwilling to stare his panther in the eye.
"Caleb," Donn scowled again, reaching his paw towards him. "Stop it."
He didn't move, his breaths accompanied by a pained wheeze as tears welled in his blank eyes.
"Caleb…" the panther repeated, his tone softening for the slightest moment. "Please…"
"…I'm just trying to protect you…"
But that wasn't enough for the one who had suffered through decades Donn's absence.
Finally mustering his voice, Kanan spoke through a wavering exhale "Do you know, h-how many days… weeks… years I sat there, waiting for you…?"
He shifted his gaze to the feline, teal orbs blazing with tears and a hurricane of grief and anger. His eyes burned with a heat so intense not even the brave beast could hold his stare. But Kanan didn't back down, even as the cat shifted his gaze to the floor. "Well?" the man continued, his voice hardening. "Do you understand how I laid there every night, begging you to come back to me…? Do you even comprehend, how alone I was, for those fifteen years you were gone…?"
The fur on Donn's back lifted anxiously, his ears lowering at his partner's harsh tone.
"I had to survive all on my own, with no one to turn to, and no where to go," Kanan growled as his brows knitted together. "How do you think that made me feel, Donn?"
The cat stilled, hesitating slightly before he murmured softly "I wasn't trying to hurt you…"
"How do you think I felt knowing that my own spirit animal didn't want me?" the man continued relentlessly.
"What do you mean I didn't wan-?!"
Donn didn't even have a moment to defend himself as Kanan swiftly cut him off, barking "You were gone for fifteen years Donn! You had every moment to come back, so many times where I needed your help! And yet you never left passive state, did you?"
Donn didn't so much as flinch at his words, but his stagnant eyes flashed for the briefest moment, brimming with guilt before he composed himself once more. "I did what I had to do," he began to reason.
"I needed you Donn," Kanan spoke, his voice raw and overflowing with years of compressed emotions. Neither of them spoke for a moment, silence passing over the room as everyone, crew and animals, watched on tensely. But then, with a single tear breaking down his face, the Greencloak whimpered faintly
"You left me…"
Those three words, those simple three words were enough to shatter the panther's stoic persona as his expression went blank, his muscles going still. Donn slowly raised his muzzle to gaze upon his partner with a horrified expression. Kanan, unable to hold his façade any longer released a ragged heave, the tears falling from his cheeks in unsteady streams.
The panther went to aid his friend, but swiftly recoiled at the Greencloak's next words.
"So why… after everything you put me t-through…" Kanan hissed, tears falling from his hazy eyes. "…Why would you do this to m-me again…?"
Donn didn't reply. He didn't even say anything. All he did was pace forward without hesitation and wrap his friend in a tight embrace, nuzzling his head into the human's shoulder. Weakened and exhausted, Kanan took his comforting presence willingly, wearily wrapping his arms around Donn's battered frame.
Human and beast, no longer enemies but partners once more, held the other close, unwilling to let go. Kanan wept into the panther's inky fur while Donn purred mournfully, finally understanding the turmoil he had forced his friend to endure. They stayed like that for a few moments, and for once in their chaotic lives, they seemed at peace.
Watching the two made my own chest ache as my thoughts drifted back to Ezra. I didn't want to think about what they were doing to him… the mere idea of them hurting the boy made my stomach churn. My only hope was that they hadn't tried to interrogate him yet, or worse, force the Bile down his throat. Who knows what would happen to us if they did…
Shifting my attention back to the broken friends ahead of me, I watched with a soft expression as Donn murmured encouraging words to his partner. He spoke of how sorry he was, how he promised he'd never hurt him again, and how much he wished he had been there for him. His gentle purrs and hums seemed to sooth his human counterpart somewhat, Kanan's muscles loosening as he buried his face timidly into the soft, silky fur of Donn's neck.
"I don't want you to leave again…" he whispered, his voice shaky.
"I know Caleb," Donn murmured in reply as he continued to hold him tightly.
"I wish you'd change your mind…" the man added meekly.
"I know."
"But you won't…" Kanan said quietly, pulling the panther back so they were eye level once more. Sorrowful teal exchanging with guilty gold, the Greencloak's weak smile betrayed the tears that streamed down his face. "You always were a stubborn cat," he chuckled coarsely. "Weren't you?"
Donn's ears lowered, replying warmly "You know me too well…"
Kanan's smirk faded as he glanced down at his bruised chest, his hand drifting absentmindedly over the place Donn's tattoo would inevitably return to. Inhaling sharply, the man seemed to accept that he couldn't convince his partner to change his mind. He clenched his eyes shut as a new wave of tears threatened to fall from his face. Donn leaned forward and gingerly nudged the man with his nose, resting his paw on Kanan's as if to reassure him it would all be alright.
"You're strong, Caleb," he murmured, his whiskers twitching. "I know you'll be alright."
The Greencloak didn't reply. Raising his head, that piercing gaze was revealed once more as Kanan took one final glance over his friend. "Promise me…" he whispered, hands shivering. "P-Promise me you'll come back this time…"
His expression softening, the cat moved forward and embraced the man once more. "I promise I won't leave you this time," he purred warmly.
Kanan wrapped his arms around the panther's bulky frame, clinging to him like his life depended on it as his chest heaved in muted sobs. "J-Just come back to me…" he whimpered so softly it was almost inaudible.
"I will, I promise I will," the beast replied. "I won't make the same mistake I did last time…"
I watched as the two sat there like brothers in mourning, knowing that this was goodbye and yet killing their souls to let go. The thought that this pain, and anguish, and separation had happened many times before for the two crossed my mind. I could almost see it now; a constant cycle of instability, fighting, and inevitably getting split apart again due to the bonding sickness. It brought them close, just to tear them apart again. I imagined it was a soul crushing experience…
Donn inhaled a shaky breath, allowing his tearful eyes to slide shut as he whispered "And I swear to you Caleb…"
"I will never hurt you again…"
There was a bright flash.
And when my eyes had recovered from the blazing light, I looked ahead to see the Greencloak on his knees, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso. The beast that had only been present moments ago had vanished, and in his place, the tattoo of a regal, muscular panther stood with his head held high.
It was printed onto the man's chest like a simple illustration, but to him, it meant so much more.
I glanced up at Kanan's face and realised his eyes were wide and dazed. There was no specific emotion in his face anymore, just… emptiness…
Hera was the first to approach the figure who remained completely still and unresponsive. She stepped forward cautiously, not wanting to startle him, before bending down beside him. Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder and asked softly "Are you alright Hun?"
He didn't respond for a few moments, as if her words had not even registered. When he finally recognised the Twi'lek's presence, he simply shook his head, his eyes void of any life. That look… That empty, broken gaze he wore was the exact same look he shared before Donn had returned.
It saddened me somewhat to see him in such a fragile state again, but as Hera lovingly wrapped her arm around his shoulders I knew he was in safe hands.
"Let's go get you patched up Love," she cooed warmly.
Kanan nodded absentmindedly, his arms still coiled around his shivering body.
Pilot and Greencloak rose to their feet cautiously, Hera leading the stunned and injured man towards the med bay with an encouraging touch, while the rest of the crew were left to process what had just unfolded before them. The battle that left claw marks and smears of blood painted across the common room. The fighters, friends that were forced to become enemies against their will. And the bond, the reason any of it happened in the first place…
Suddenly, I didn't feel the throb in my muscles anymore, not even the sharp, burning in my wing. Because I knew no matter what pain I felt, it was nothing compared to what those two had just faced.
Raising my head, I stared blankly into the abyss, my mind vacant from my body. All I could feel was a strange twisting in my gut as I reached out to my own bond, praying that the boy and I would never face such turmoil. That I would get the chance to see him again. That I could let him know that I did care about him, even if I didn't always show it…
'Don't worry Ezra,' I called out through my mind. 'We're going to save you…'
…I swear on it…
Super Bomb V
The Light in the Dark
Remember Me
Lost Chapters
O' Family of Ours
There is no Death, There is the Force
To Mend the Bond
Beasts of Legend
Family Ties