"I still can't get over how strange this is," Luke says to Clary and Jonathan as they eat takeout from Clary's favorite Chinese place. His blue eyes have barely left Jonathan since he first saw him.

"I know what you mean," Clary says through the food in her mouth. She swallows and takes a sip of her drink, looking to her brother. "I still can't get over him being normal. He puts off such a different vibe than the one he used to."

"Yeah. It's no longer the 'I must kill everything' vibe. It's now 'I really wish they would stop talking about me like I'm not here' vibe. Or is that just me?" Luke says with a smirk.

"No. It's not just you because that is the exact vibe I was putting off." Jonathan says dryly and Clary laughs. He then shoves a mouthful of noodles into his mouth and glares playfully at Clary.

"And you, Clary," Luke says with a happy sigh. He shakes his head in wonder while his lips hint at a smile. "I'm still in complete shock that you are sitting here, alive. It's like one of the best days of my life. And to top it all off, you finally have Jonathan the way he was meant to be. If only your mother were here to see it." His breath hitches in his throat and his eyes drop down to the table. He clears his throat in an effort to hide that he is trying not to cry.

"Luke, what happened?" Clary asks, setting down her chopsticks and looking to Luke.

He shakes his head gently from side to side. "After we lost you, she just...gave up. Losing you nearly killed me and I tried so hard to keep it from killing your mother, but I just couldn't. She just lost the will to live. She had tried for so long to keep you from the dangerous world she left, only for you to be pulled back in and killed. She said so many times that she was a horrible mother because she couldn't even protect her own children from the monsters that surrounded her and the world she was in. Trying to convince her otherwise was futile."

Luke finally looks up to Clary and she can see the infinite sadness in them that her death has caused him. "I swear I tried everything I could think of to make her happy but her heart began to weaken. Her heart rate was unpredictable and she would have these fainting spells. Nothing I did helped though and eventually...her body just gave up." A lone tear runs down his cheek as tears run down Clary's face, her heart clenching tight in her chest.

Her hand reaches across the table and takes his hand that is resting there. "It wasn't your fault. She was so damn stubborn that if she got it into her head that she didn't want to live, she would have willed herself to die."

"That stubbornness is something you inherited, Clary," he says, squeezing her hand. "It can either be a good or a bad thing, depending on what you are doing or what you want."

"Well right now, I want to scream at anything and everything and then curl up into a ball and cry till I'm dehydrated." She lets out one small humorless chuckle. "But I think that would be considered either childish or weak to do that. The life that I imagined I would walk back into is completely gone and I should have known it would be. It was ridiculous to think otherwise. I thought everyone knew I was alive and was trying to get me out of there." The disjointed chuckle that leaves her lips this time is bigger and comes out as a scoff. "I was stupid to believe that after such a long time that anyone would think I was still alive, but I had no idea how much time had passed down there. Some days felt like weeks while some weeks felt like days...or at least I think they did."

"You were not stupid to think any of that," Luke says sharply. "And you have every right to scream at anything and everything you feel like and cry for however long you like. You've earned that much at least. You were so brave and strong to survive down there for as long as you did. Especially going through what the Seelie Queen put you through." His eyes glance down at her exposed shoulder where the brand is before quickly looking back to her eyes.

"I don't feel very brave or strong," Clary says as her crying starts up again. Luke hops up from his seat and hurries to wrap her in a hug. She clings to him as she feels Jonathan's hand come to rest on her back in a gesture she's sure he means to be comforting. "I feel completely broken."

"Shh, shh, shh," Luke says, tears slowly falling from his eyes too. "It's going to be okay now. We're going to be okay. We just have to stick together."

She grabs him tighter, letting a soft wail from her lips as her body shakes. It's a long while before she is able to say anything again. Her brain is going a million miles an hour, replaying the scene in the garden over and over again. For some reason, she can't get the blonde's face to leave the backs of her eyelids. "He's married, Luke." she chokes out, never letting go of him, her head still buried in his chest. "I don't know what to do, what to think, or what to feel anymore."

He remains silent, letting her vent to him as she cries. After a good long while, she's finally able to slow her tears to only a couple every minute. When she pulls away from him and sees his pained face, it almost sends her into another fit of sobs. She takes a few good deep breaths as she closes her eyes and calms herself. When she tries to open her eyes again, she realizes just how excruciatingly tired she is. "I'm tired. I should probably go to bed," she states and tries to stand. Her legs wobble and then she is sitting back down.

"I think that is my cue," Jonathan says from behind her where he's apparently been sitting this whole time.

"You're still here?" she asks with surprise. "Tears usually make guys run. Especially the kind that were coming from me."

"I figured it was the least I could do." He states in a matter of fact tone. "I've caused you so much pain in the past. No matter how uncomfortable it was for me, which it wasn't really that bad, I owe it to you to be there for you. To help in any way I can make it better and easier for you." He stands up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Which is why I am going to carry you to bed now."

His arms wrap under her legs and under her arms, under her back, and then she is lifted up. Her head swings for a moment before she's able to raise it to look at him. "I'm not some damsel in distress that needs to be carried places."

"I never said you were," he says, looking down at her. "But I will say that you are deliriously tired right now, so much so that you can't even stand. Hence, me carrying you to your room." He then lowers her down onto the bed she spent so many nights in, dust flying in the air from their movements. It's very clear that no one has been in here for a long, long time. "First thing tomorrow, dust my room," she mumbles, snuggling into the familiar scent and soft blanket.

"Yes, ma'am," Jonathan says with a laugh as he turns and leaves her to sleep.

Simon

"That's it," Simon says, his voice ringing with finality. He stands up from his spot on the love seat in the library and pulls out his phone. He's spent the last five hours there, bouncing his knee up and down with worry for Clary while Izzy bit at her nails nervously. "I'm calling Luke. I need to know if she's there and that she's safe."

He quickly dials his number and after two rings, Luke answers the phone. "Um, hey Luke. It's Simon. Is...uh...is Clary there?" Simon asks curiously. He's unsure if he knows about Clary and Jonathan. She might have been lying when she said that she was going straight there.

"She's here," Luke says, knowing exactly what he was looking for.

"She is?" he asks, letting out a breath of relief. "Is she okay?"

"She's okay as she's going to be at the moment. She just fell asleep about thirty minutes ago. She was exhausted."

"So, you're going to let her and...him stay there?" Simon asks as Izzy stands up and presses her ear close to his phone to hear the conversation.

"Of course," he replies, sounding offended. "My daughter just came back from the dead. I don't care if I had to let Lilith herself live here with me, there was no way I was going to kick her out and leave her homeless since she obviously can't go back to the Institute for a multitude of reasons."

Simon closes his eyes in relief. "Good. I was worried that because of Jonathan, you wouldn't want her there."

"That might be true for everyone else, but it isn't for me." he almost sneers at him. "What the hell happened? When she came here, she was in one hell of a state."

Simon pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. "She showed up in the middle of Jace and Evie's reception. It didn't help either when she found out about me having a parabatai. It spiraled down pretty quickly after that, especially when she found out that we thought she was dead and that we never...we didn't..." Simon can't finish the sentence, guilt bubbling up in his throat and making it impossible for him to speak until he swallows a few times. "I should be there. She'll need me."

"No," Luke says firmly and swiftly. "You, and everyone else needs to give her some space. Her whole world, the one she fought so hard to get back with Jace and you and everyone else, is completely gone and everyone and everything in it has changed; moved on without her while she was stuck in the same place."

Simon flinches at his words. There it was. The horrible ugly truth, laid out in front of him, unable to deny it. "That's why she needs her best friend." Simon says with less conviction this time around.

"Simon, as of right now, in her eyes, you've replaced her with George and Jace has replaced her with Evie. I don't think she'll want a reminder of that anytime soon. I'll take care of her for now and when she's ready, she'll decide if she wants to see and speak with anyone." His tone is tense and protective. He sounds just like a father. Like the guy that he and Clary grew up with.

"I can't promise that I won't show up to check on her," Simon tells him, his own stubbornness getting the best of him. "She's been gone so long and all I want to do is hug her till she can't breathe."

"And all I want to do is protect her," Luke says with finality ringing in his voice. "I also can't promise that I won't throw you out if she doesn't want to see you or if you say or do anything to upset her."

"Fair enough," Simon says with a nod even though Luke can't see him. "Call me if you need anything or if she asks for me or...I don't know. Just...call me if anything changes with her."

He hears Luke take a deep breath and blow it out, sounding wearily tired in that moment. "Alright. I'll call if anything happens. Bye, Simon." There is a click of him hanging up the phone and then Simon kicks out at the coffee table in front of him, flipping it over and everything that was on it falls to the floor with a loud clatter. "Dammit, Iz." he says with a tremor in his voice. "How is this able to be the best and worst day of all time?"

"Because the Seelie Queen is a royal bitch." she sneers. "I've been thinking that the timing was just too perfect. She finally decides lets Clary go only hours after Jace gets married? She did that on purpose. She tortured Clary all this time and let her go when everyone had finally healed and moved on with their lives. She wanted to torture Clary in every way possible and she has succeeded." She moves to stand in front of her husband, looking into his eyes. "We can't let that Seelie bitch win. We can't let Clary think that we replaced her like Luke said. She has to know that we love her and want her back in our lives. We know what it's like to live without her and it was horrible."

"I know that but how do you suggest we go about showing her?" he almost snaps at her. "How do we convince her that we need her in our lives when we've all moved on without her? She was going to be my parabatai but now, I have George as my parabatai. Jace and Clary were together and were stupidly happy. They were supposed to get married and now he's married someone else and her mother is dead. The life she knew and everything in it is completely gone."

Simon turns around and stomps off angrily. He slams the library doors behind him and starts to make his way to his and Izzy's room. He is taking his anger and frustration out on his wife and he hates himself for it but he just can't help it. He shouldn't have snapped at Jace either the night of the wedding when she had run off. It wasn't his fault that he had moved on and fell in love and married Evie, not knowing that Clary was still alive. It was the Seelie Queen's fault.

And yet, he still blamed himself for it. He was furious with himself.

He was supposed to be Clary's parabatai. He was supposed to just be able to sense these things about her. He was supposed to know if she was alive or dead or if she needed his help. He fought so hard to stay by her side and protect her as much as he could, even when he was a mundane, yet the one time she really and truly needed him, he had failed her and failed her in the most heinous way. He left her in Faerie to be tortured and made a fool of day after day. He never once questioned Alec's conviction that he had watched Clary die, all the while, knowing what kind of tricks faeries could play.

He. Should. Have. Known.

He reaches their room then, shoving the door open with a hard push, the doorknob leaving a dent in the wall behind it. He kicks out at a pair of shoes Izzy left on the floor and sends them flying across the room. It's only when he feels moisture on his hand that he realized he was crying. His tears weren't because he was sad, but because he was mad and frustrated at himself. He swipes them away with a rough hand and starts packing a bag for himself. He will show Clary that she matters to him, that she is still his best friend and nothing has changed that. Not even her supposed death changed that fundamental fact about them.

While he's packing, he digs through his belongings, gathering what he can of her things that he has. When she 'died', Jocelyn had demanded most of her stuff be brought back to her home, but there are some things that he and Jace had been allowed to keep. She wanted nothing to do with the Morgenstern swords so he took Heosphoros and Jace took Phosphoros. He picked up the string friendship bracelet that she made him when they were twelve and tied it around his finger a few times because it was too small to wrap around his wrist. He dug around in the back of a drawer till he found her favorite old band t-shirt of his that read "Rock Solid Panda" across it in faded letters with a picture of a panda dressed in a Hawaiian shirt.

By the time he was done, only ten minutes had passed and Izzy was just showing up. "What are you doing?" she asks, looking down at the suitcase and then back up at him.

"I'm going to go stay at Luke's...or at least on his porch if he won't let me inside." Simon states like what he was doing was obvious.

"That's crazy, Simon," Izzy says as she places her hands on her hips. "Luke said she needed space."

"I don't care what Luke said," Simon says firmly and walks around her, pulling his suitcase behind him. "I'm going to be there for her the moment she is ready to let me. I am going to show her that she matters to me, more than anything in the world...behind you of course. And if Luke makes me sleep outside, it'll be the least I could do for her since I left her in Faerie for four and a half years."

Izzy takes a deep breath and nods her head, knowing that it would be futile to argue with him about this. "Just be careful. You know the faeries have been rendering our weapons useless and I'll worry about you if you are made to sleep out in the open. In fact, call me if you do. I'll come down there and join you. I don't want you out in the open all by yourself."

"I can't make that promise," he says looking down at her still flat belly. "You have our little growing bundle to think about."

She sighs heavily and pauses for a moment before nodding in understanding. "I love you, Simon," she says, reaching up to cup his face.

"I love you too, Iz." He leans down and presses a soft kiss to her lips before standing back up straight. As he is leaving their room, Izzy calls out to him. He turns around. "Will you tell her that I'd be there with you if I weren't pregnant? Tell her that I love her and have missed her terribly and am beyond happy that she's alive."

"I will," he says with a smile before disappearing out of their room.

Jace

Before Jace can answer Magnus' question, Alec speaks up. "Don't answer that," he says sternly. "Not until you know what Clary's done to get back here."

Jace's brows furrow with confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"When Magnus came back last night after he found her, he told me what she did for the Seelie Queen so she could gain her freedom back," Alec says solemnly. "It might make a difference in what your answer would be."

"What could she have possibly done that might make me give a different answer, considering that I do have one, to begin with?" Jace retorts back.

"Because it just would," Alec says plainly. "I'm not sure how you are going to react when I tell you."

"Would one of you just tell me?" Jace says tiredly, heaving out an exasperated breath.

"You know that the Seelie Queen was given the Black Volume of the Dead from some unknown shadowhunters, right?" Jace nods. "Well, the reason she wanted it was to bring back someone from the dead and she needed Clary's angel blood given willingly to do it." Alec moves closer to Jace, holding his eye contact, an apology in his eyes even as he talks to him about this. "Jace, she brought back Sebastian from the dead."

Jace's eyes widen and he sucks in a shocked breath of air. Alec raises his hands to stop Jace from saying whatever he was about to say. "Jace. Let me finish." Jace's eyes flash with anger and hurt. "What the Seelie Queen didn't know was that Clary had a plan. She had been given a stele by Mark Blackthorn and after his body was reformed but before he awoke, she placed Lilith's rune on his chest. One that matched the one she had placed on hers. She wasn't sure what he would come back as and she wanted to be able to control him."

"What!?" he shouts angrily. "Why did she do that?"

"She's the dominant one, Jace," Magnus adds. "He follows her commands, not the other way around. But there is something else you should know. When he came back, he came back as the person he died as."

"A murdering psychopath?" Jace says bitterly.

"No, Jace. Don't you remember?" Magnus says softer this time. "The heavenly fire burned out all of Lilith's blood in him. He is now the brother that Clary never had."

Jace's mouth falls open in surprise. His eyes soften immensely and the tensed muscles in his body relax. "So, he's not..."

"No, he's not," Magnus says. "I saw him with my own eyes. His eyes were green instead of black and his whole demeanor was different."

Jace turns around and runs a hand through the long locks on the top of his head, his head dropping in thought, not saying a word as he turns back around away from them. Alec steps closer to him, stopping only when he is right behind him. "Now do you understand? She was willing to bring him back to be free again. To be with you. She tethered herself to him with a demonic rune so she could control him; linked her life with his, knowing that there would be a long line of people that would be waiting to kill him, all so she could be free again and see you; be with you."

"Is that your way of telling me that you think I should be with Clary?" Jace asks, not turning around.

"No. It's me giving you all of the information so you can make a decision knowing everything."

"You should know by now that you can't lie to me, Alec," Jace says sharply. He turns around and looks at him finally. "And what would you have me tell Evie? Sorry that I promised to be your husband and love you forever but my old girlfriend came back from the dead and now you're not good enough anymore?"

"I wouldn't put it exactly like that," Alec says with a small shrug.

"Then how would you put it?" Jace says challengingly.

Alec's eyes harden at him despite feeling like shit, knowing that all of this was his fault. "You're my parabatai, Jace. I know you better than anyone. Clary is the one you are meant to be with. You would have never even glanced Evie's way if you had thought there was the slightest chance that Clary was alive. Could you say the same if you had been with Evie and Clary came along?" He doesn't give Jace time to answer. "You know what, don't answer that because I already know the answer. Clary is your soulmate, the one that was made for you. You've said it yourself a million times. I know that it will hurt you to break Evie's heart but could you really live your life knowing that Clary is out there? What happens when she starts dating someone else and falls in love?"

Jace visibly recoils when he says that. Alec's right. The thought of another man's hands on her, kissing her, touching her like he did, her falling in love with someone other than him caused him physical pain. His heart falls into his stomach and starts twisting in knots as he visualizes it. "I would feel the same way about Evie with someone else," he says back to him, trying to rationalize his visible reaction to what Alec said. "And since when did you start loving Clary so much that you would have me leave Evie? It wasn't long ago when you were shoving me at Evie, telling me to stop holding myself back from her, saying that we were perfect together."

"That's only because I thought Clary was gone." Even though Jace is trying to sort his own emotions out right now, when Alec says that, he can hear the guilt that he feels for all of this. For believing that what he saw was Clary dying. "You're right. At first, I didn't like Clary. I could barely stand her, hated her even, but that was only because I thought I was in love with you. I saw the instant connection the two of you had from the start and knew that you were going to fall in love with her; fast and hard.

"And then there's everything she's done for you. She could have asked Raziel for anything and she asked for you to live. She put her own life at risk and followed you and Sebastian when you were tethered to him. She saved your life from your own self then as well. Then there was the heavenly fire. Without her, you would have burned up and died and Sebastian would be ruling the world. And now, she brought back her brother again, not knowing how he was going to come back and tethered herself to him so she could control him. Knowing that everyone would want to kill him but still willing to take that risk so she could get back to you. Everything she's done has always been for you. As your parabatai, I want nothing more than for you to be with the person that makes you the happiest and will keep you safe. That person is, and always will be, Clary."

The door to the library is pushed open then and standing there is a teary-eyed Evie. Her brown eyes zone in on Alec with a quiet anger. "Screw you, Alec.," she says in a snide tone. "I'm sorry I can't make runes to save him. I'm sorry I wasn't there to ask the angel for his life, even though that is what I would have asked for. I'm sorry that I don't have an evil brother to sacrifice myself to just so I can be with Jace. All I have to offer him is my love."

Her eyes dart over to Jace and he can see the hurt there, and under that, insecurity. "All I've ever been able to offer him is my love. If that isn't good enough for you, Jace, then just kick me out now and you can go running back to her." She spins around on her heels and storms off.

"Evie! Wait!" Jace calls, running after her, glaring at Alec as he passes. He was so torn in that moment of what to do, but seeing Evie's face then, looking so sad and hurt, killed him. Just like when he saw Clary's face when she realized that he was married killed him last night. "Please, Evie! Wait!" He chases her all the way upstairs where she slams their bedroom door in his face. He doesn't try to open it, knowing that she wants him to stay there for now. "Evie. Can I please come in?"

"Why? Are you going to finish packing so we can go on our honeymoon like were are supposed to in three hours?" she calls back bitterly through the door.

He sighs heavily and closes his eyes in pain, resting his forehead on the door. "Evie, just let me in," he says softer this time.

The door flies open, surprising him. She's standing there with her blonde hair a mess and tears running down her face. "Answer me!" she shouts at him. "Tell me that you love me and that you want to be with me, and not her. Tell me that we are going to leave for the honeymoon we planned together." Her tone is challenging because she already knows the answer he's going to give.

"Evie, I can't leave right now for our honeymoon," he says apologetically. "I have to go check on Clary, make sure she's okay."

"And what about me? What if I'm not okay? Does that even matter to you anymore? Would you still leave to go to her?"

"Of course you matter to me. I love you. You're my wife."

"Exactly!" she shouts at him. "I'M your wife! NOT Clary." She slams the door in his face again, leaving him out in the hallway by himself. She's so hurt and angry and he can't blame her. Yesterday was supposed to be the happiest day of her life and then his ex-girlfriend showed up, back from the dead. But could he really call her his ex-girlfriend since they never broke up? And then the thing that is making him feel like the absolute worst person is that he can't help but think that if Clary had never been taken, she would be his wife right now, and not Evie.

Poor Jace, poor Clary, poor everybody! This thing they call life is hard! Your reviews spur me on and help me write more so don't hold back!

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