Note: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, just the idea, and I receive no benefit from writing this story (more like I get a deficit). I hope you enjoy this story!

The next day…

Sasori shot up, blindly looking around the room. Slowly, as his senses came back to him, he calmed down, laughing at his daftness.

"A nightmare. Just a nightmare."

He rolled out of the bed, frowning when he realised Deidara wasn't there.

"Hey, you're awake. Finally. Didn't I medicate you? I came back. Fuck."

"Where's Deidara?"

"He woke up about an hour or so ago. Konan dragged him down for food a few minutes or so again, he didn't want to leave you. How cute, your little bitch is attached to you!"

"Shut up."

"I second that. Whatever. You should probably go save him, Tobi likes him a lot and won't get off him."

"What?"

"Tobi keeps on glomping him. I tried to get him off, but your blondie smells like blood, and you know what will happen if I go near him like that. I still say we eat him. No! But he smells delectable! I don't care!"

Sasori didn't bother listening anymore, brushing past the older man as he stormed downstairs.

"Sasori! Hi!"

"Hi Tobi."

"Morning Sasori no Danna, un!"

"Morning."

He slid into the seat next to the blonde, subtly pulling his chair closer as Tobi leaned towards the boy.

"Where's Konan?"

"She said something about registration, then left."

"Ooh, Tobi knows! Tobi knows! Ms. Konan went to register Sasori and Senpai at Tobi's school!"

"What."

"Too late for complaining, you're registered now."

"Konan!"

"Ah-Ah! I will not let your education be affected by this."

Sasori sank back down into his seat, pouting subtly as Tobi celebrated and Deidara ate his Weetabix. Konan just laughed at their fate, then took her own seat at the table.

"Cheer up, it's not as bad as it seems!"

"Yeah! Because, because, Tobi gets to see Senpai and Sasori all day now! And Hidan goes to Tobi's school too!"

"Hidan goes there?"

"Um yeah, guess I forgot to mention that part. Sasori? Sasori! Stop smashing your head into the table!"

"Who's Hidan, un?"

"An annoying cultist freak that's swear happy and has a thing for causing physical harm."

"Um, okay…"

"He's a nuisance, just leave it at that."

Deidara shrugged slightly, then rolled closer to Sasori, nestling into his side.

"Ne, Sasori no Danna?"

"Yes?"

"Why does Mr Zetsu avoid me?"

"Because he's got multiple personalities, and you smell like blood."

"…I don't get it."

"His other personality is a cannibal, and he has limited control over it."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They fell silent again, listening to the sounds of arguing drifting up from the kitchen.

"Why are we in Konan's room again?"

"Because she gets a bigger bed. We don't both fit in either of our beds, even with you being way too skinny."

"I am not way too skinny!"

"You are! You're not anorexic, are you?"

"No! Un."

"You sure."

"Positive. I ate those Weetabix, remember?"

"You didn't finish them."

"Cause I'm not used to having that much to eat."

"So you are anorexic!"

"No I'm not! I've just never had a lot to eat."

"Why?"

"My parents don't think I'm worth feeding, un."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's been like that for as long as I remember, I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be."

"Well I am."

"We're going to change that though."

"That reminds me! You still have to explain what's going on, un."

"What do you mean?"

"At the apartment, when you told me to take the bag and run. You said you'd explain what was going on."

"Oh yeah. Well, basically. We assumed your parents had been beating you, and you're my brat, not theirs, so we kidnapped you."

"Since when am I your brat?"

"Since you're not in a dress anymore, so you can't be my princess. So, you're my brat."

"I'm not a brat, un."

"I know."

"Then why do you call me that?"

"I don't know. Just sounds right, I guess."

"Ah."

Deidara flipped onto his stomach, chewing on the end of his hair as he lay sprawled on the bed.

"Why does Konan get such a big bed?"

"Because Zetsu was assuming I still sneak in to sleep with her."

"Un?"

"I used to have separation anxiety, I couldn't go anywhere without Konan."

"S-Seriously?"

"Hey, don't laugh! It wasn't funny! She had to follow me around school all day, it was embarrassing!"

"Sorry, but it sounds really funny!"

"You're evil."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Huh?"

"Don't be sorry for who you are. It's annoying."

"Right."

Deidara nodded determinedly, and Sasori laughed before pulling the blonde to lie on top of him.

"You don't weigh much."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Make me make you."

"What?"

"Ha! Wild Deidara uses confusion! It's super effective!"

"If that's how you want to play…"

Sasori rolled over, trapping Deidara underneath him.

"Wild Sasori uses Wrap. The wild Deidara cannot escape!"

"Not fair!"

"The wild Deidara uses Plead. It is not at all effective."

"Wild Deidara uses Flail, un!"

"Still not at all effective. Wild Sasori wraps tighter."

"Ouch! Um, um, wild Deidara uses Puppy Dog Eyes!"

"It's super effective. Wild Sasori releases the wild Deidara."

Sasori rolled off Deidara, only for the blonde to pounce on him.

"Wild Deidara uses Spider Web!"

"Wild Sasori is immune to bug-type moves."

"Crap."

"Wild Sasori uses Bite."

"Ow! Fuck! Wild Deidara faints! Wild Sasori can leave now!"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Wild Deidara flees!"

"Wild Sasori uses Mean Look, wild Deidara cannot escape!"

"Meanie."

"I know."

"You're squishing me."

"Promise not to run away?"

"Promise, un."

"Good."

Sasori rolled them over so that they were lying on their sides, but he kept his arms locked around Deidara.

"So."

"What do you think they're fighting about?"

"Who?"

"Konan and that weird guy with the piercings."

"Oh, you mean Pein. They always fight when they meet, cause of some fight in high school or something. I don't know, but Konan fucking hates his guts."

"Interesting."

"Not really."

"Yeah, but I'm just saying that it's interesting to attempt to dispel the awkwardness of my failed attempt at conversation."

"…Since when do you know such long words?"

"I'm not an idiot, un."

"Could've fooled me."

"That's from that song, isn't it?"

"Yeah! How's it go again?"

"Anything you can do, I can do better."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Yes I can, yes I can, un!"

"I don't think she says un."

"Whatever. Why am I the girl?"

"Because."

"What kind of an answer is that?"

"My kind."

"You're evil."

"I know."

"Hey, you've been to the school here before, right?"

"Yeah."

"What's it like?"

"The teachers are bitches and the students will probably try raping you because you're so cute."

"Well that's encouraging."

"Don't worry, I won't let anyone near you."

"Promise, un?"

"Promise."

"All right then. Thank you. For, well, saving me."

"This is strange, you're thanking me for kidnapping you."

"So? It means I get to see you more, and my parents aren't hurting me, and the walls aren't being evil. I have every reason to thank you, un."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm tired."

"Me too, but we can't sleep in Konan's bed."

"She'll just sleep in our room, no big deal. Damn, I'm never dealing with Tobi when he's hyper ever again."

"It wasn't that bad…"

"Deidara."

"Okay, it was that bad."

"That's what I thought. Now go to sleep."

"Yes Danna."

"Did I just hear sarcasm?"

"Maybe…"

"Sleep or I will bite you again."

"I'm sleeping!"

"Good girl."

"Hey!"

"Snore."

"Evil."

"Snore-Go to sleep-Snore."

"Fine! Un."

"Snore."

This is embarrassing…I finished this ages ago but forgot to post it. I am an idiot! You have every right to call me an idiot now. I'm calling myself an idiot. Yeah, but anyhow. This chapter didn't turn out as good as I'd hoped, but I really can't make it any better right now, because I am just pissed off to the extreme. Because I moved house last august, and ever since my sister has been going on and on at me about this and that, it's like I can't do anything without pissing her off, but I have 'no right' to get mad at her, it's just urgh! It's February already! I miss my friends too, but I'm not taking it out on her, so it just pisses me off, and I'm not allowed to do anything about it! And then earlier today, I just snapped and started yelling my head off at her, and I was doing my best to just not swear because my baby sister was there too, and to not take a chair and smash her fucking head in, but no one appreciates the effort it took me, and now my mum wants to send us to family counselling. I don't need any more of that counselling shit, it doesn't help at all! I just need my sister to get over the fact that we've moved, and there's nothing she can do about it, so she should just stop bitching at me! It doesn't help, at all. It just makes things worse because I have violent tendencies, and when I get so pissed at people that I lose control…Not a pretty sight, plus she's a complete pussy. Grr. Fucking hate this shit. And now I'm ranting again, stupid bitch I'm not supposed to rant. I'm sorry. I'll stop now. And to make up for it, I'll try and get the next chapter up by tomorrow or the day after, sometime soon anyways. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!