Chapter Ten: Scissor hands

It was a cool fall day, and Sam was sitting under a tree in the park. Wrapped in his coat, his short legs drawn up close to his chest, his notebook resting calmly on his thighs, Sam sat quietly. The shade provided the coolest spot in the park, thus the most deserted. Pen in mouth he thought over what he had just written, before scribbling something out and writing over it.

Sam wasn't looking forward to going home, he knew he'd have too since it was thanksgiving and he wasn't supposed to have even left the house. But he couldn't be in that house another minute; he hated being at home, being around David. He hated being around himself, but he couldn't do anything about that…

Sam shifted positions, so he was sitting Indian style; he flipped through his notebook to a page full of drawings. He swapped his pen for a pencil and began erasing; Sam preferred to write in pen but draw in pencil. If he wrote in Pencil he'd erase too much he'd rather cross things out.

Writing was Sam's one outlet, the only thing that could calm him down that wasn't destructive; he had another outlet but it was a harmful one. Writing and drawing was a way for Sam to escape into his thoughts and be free of the judgment and criticism he faced every way he turned. Unless it was all in his mind? Perhaps he had isolated himself so much from the world that it was his own mind criticizing him?

Sam closed his notebook and wrapped a rubber band around it; he checked his watch and reluctantly stood up. He paced around the tree for a couple minutes running his hand along the grooves and indentations. He brushed some hair out of his eyes, he hated it being so long but he didn't want to give his mother the satisfaction of having his haircut. He didn't want to do anything that would make anyone else happy, why should he make others happy when everyone made him miserable?

Sam picked up his bag and stuffing his notebook in he headed out of the park, his eyes cast down so as to avoid any unwanted looks or stares. He hated people looking at him; he couldn't bear to think about what they might be thinking about him. So he kept his eyes on the ground. Sam picked up the pace as headed out the main entrance to the park, in hopes he wouldn't run in to anyone he knew. All of his family was at home, but living in a small town he knew almost everyone.

Sam was happy that his house wouldn't be as full, Matt and Mary weren't coming this year so it was just Lucy, Simon, Ruthie and their families. Unfortunately, it also meant that if Sam disappeared most likely it would be noticed. But Sam didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.

Sam looked up at the sky lost in his thoughts. A cloud crossed over the sun and threw the street into shadow. Sam had lost his faith in god, over the past year. He had even told his father this; the look on his father's face when Sam had said he no longer believed in god had almost made Sam cry…

"You don't believe in God?" Eric said stunned. Sam stared into his father's eyes and held back tears, his father looked so hurt and disappointed as though he had just attacked him.

"No." Sam looked away, and held his breath fighting back tears.

"Why?" Eric asked, still in a state of shock.

"Because if god was real he wouldn't make my life so miserable!" Sam cried. He stormed away leaving his father speechless.

Sam looked up at his house, he could see people walking around inside, shadows moving quickly in and out past the windows. Sighing, Sam walked up front walk and opened the front door. Nobody was in the front hall, which gave him hope that he could slip in unnoticed; he closed the door and headed for the stairs.

"Mom's not happy." Sam stopped halfway up the stairs and turned around. Ruthie was standing at the foot of the stairs leaning against the banister looking up at him. Sam bit back his lip and thought for a moment.

"Where is she?" He asked checking over his shoulder.

"That afraid? Not a good sign. She's in the kitchen. I'd go in if I were you…and David's upstairs…" Sam looked over his shoulder up the stairs and narrowed his eyes. He thumped back down and walked slowly into the kitchen behind Ruthie.

"Sam's back." Ruthie announced as she entered the kitchen.

"Where did you go? I told you, you couldn't leave the house!" Annie said spinning around a large knife in her hand. Ruthie stifled a giggle.

"Mom, you look scary with that knife in your hand. Eeeh Eeeh Eeeh!" Ruthie laughed hard clutching her side. Sam looked over at Ruthie and actually smiled, his cheeks felt sore, as he broke out into a grin. He hadn't smiled in a long time.

"Ruthie!" Annie said putting the knife down.

"All you need is that white scream mask!" Ruthie cackled. Annie cracked a smile and shooed Ruthie and Sam off. Ruthie winked at Sam and headed off into the living room. Sam headed up the stairs and into his room, for some more alone time seeing as dinner would be ready soon.

Dinner turned out not to be as bad as he thought it would be, at least it started out that way. The dining room was crowded but not that bad with, Simon, Rachel, Lindsey, Lucy, Kevin, Savannah, Patrick, William, Eleanor, Ruthie, Chris, Annie, Eric, and David. Sam was sitting next to eight-year old Savannah, and Ruthie. Everything had been going fine until Simon decided to bring up school.

"So how's school you guys?" Simon asked pointing his fork at Sam and then David. Sam caught David's eye as he narrowed them viciously.

"Fine—"

"I'm the star soccer player." David said talking over Sam. Simon nodded and looked at Sam, but David continued. "And In the spring I'll be playing baseball again, I'm captain this year."

"That's really cool David, sounds just like Mary." Simon laughed, and received a look from his parents. David got the joke and laughed with Simon.

"Sam doesn't play any sports…which is probably why he doesn't have any friends." David added maliciously. He'd been even meaner to Sam lately. After Ruthie's wedding David had begun to be nicer to Sam or at least not be mean, but two weeks ago Sam had gotten David in trouble at school and ever since he had been getting back at him every chance he got.

Sam glared at David, but not with tears in his eyes but fire. Sam had developed a vicious side when it came to dealing with David, so their fights usually ended badly.

"I have friends…real friends unlike the loser wannabe druggies you hang out with." Sam said coolly. David threw Sam a vicious look and slammed his fork down.

"You don't have any friends you liar!"

"David!" Annie snapped.

"Yes I do!"

"Sam!" Eric said warningly.

"Who that freaky chick? Everyone knows she's a freak! No wonder she's your friend. You probably have a lot in common with her—"

"Shut up! Don't talk about her like that!"

"What is she your girlfriend? Ew—AARGH!" Sam chucked a handful of mashed potatoes at David and hit him in the face.

"SAM!" Annie and Eric yelled out in unison. Ruthie stared open mouthed at David before breaking out into a grin. Lucy elbowed Ruthie in the stomach to stop her from laughing. Sam looked around at the different reactions and stood up.

"Sam apologize to David!" Annie yelled. Sam couldn't hear her, his head was buzzing with fury. A hot mist was clouded his mind, as the blood rushed to his head. "Sam!" Sam turned to look at his mother angrily and bolted up the stairs. He could hear shuffling below him, which meant his mother or father or possibly even David was coming up after him. Sam ran into the bathroom and grabbed a pair of scissors. He gazed into the mirror at his long dirty blonde hair and began to cut off every inch he could. Long chunks of hair fell into the sink below him.

"What the—" Sam spun around and stared blindly out the door. David was standing in the doorway; mashed potatoes still stuck to his hair his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide in horror. For once in his life David was speechless, the look on his face as he stared at his brother. Annie reached the door and stepped in front of David, her mouth dropped at sight of her son. The scissors still in his hands and clumps of hair now laying sprawled across the sink.

"Sam…" She gasped. Sam finally seemed to snap out of the faze he'd gone into. He looked down at the sink and then up at the mirror, a wave of fear rushed over him. What did I do? Sam dropped the scissors and looked up at his mother wide eyed. Sam pushed past her and ran into his room. He locked the door and shoved a chair against the knob. He took a deep breath and knelt down on the floor his head hanging over his knees. His hair didn't fall into his face though. His shoulders shook with every sob as he gulped down his breath, in an attempt to quiet his sobs.

"Help me…Please…" Sam begged. He didn't know who he was talking to, but he knew he needed to say this. "Please…Before I really hurt myself…"

What Sam didn't know was that David was standing on the other side of the door. His face pale as he listened to his brother sob and plead.

Authors Note: Hey Everybody I hope you all liked this chapter. I really really like this chapter I think it's my favorite chapter. I think it's the best chapter I've ever written at least for this story. I'm very proud I really liked giving you a glimpse into Sam's head. I as the author know exactly what's going on inside Sam's head and I can show you a bit through his actions but you really see a glimpse into how he feels in this chapter.

For the next chapter I'm planning on writing it in first person as maybe like one of Sam's entries in his notebook that trust me you will learn all about his notebook in later chapters. We are nearing the big event of the story finally. I just have to think it out a bit more, I hope everyone liked this one and please review!

Katie