Money Power Beauty
Chapter Ten

You say that you want to go to a land that's far away. How are we supposed to get there with the way that we're living today?

You're pushing down on my shoulders,
and emptying my lungs.
And in a moment I'm older.
And a moment, you've won.

Silence. The silence that always seems to fill the room when they don't know what to say. The way Troy was staring at Sharpay killed her, they were staring straight into her, and she knew she couldn't lie to him. She swallowed hard and a single tear rolled down her cheek. She felt a sudden weight on her shoulders, the careless free feeling of being with him was no more. Deep down, she knew they couldn't stay like this forever.

He said nothing, he wanted an answer, wanted to know where they were. They have avoided this topic for long enough now, he knew he was falling deeper and deeper for her, but then did she feel the same way? Was he just an escape?

And you escape me like it's nothing.
Like words I never should have said,
and the stress comes to the surface.
But all of the heroes are dead.

"Troy…" She whispered, carefully placing her hand on his cheek. "I love you." She chocked back on her tears, "I love you so unbelievably much, but there's nothing I can do."

"Sharpay, we can move to New York together. Leave everything behind, start fresh."

She frowned, "I can't."

"I thought you love me."

"I do love you, so much." More tears fell from her eyes and down her cheeks, "But I can't just run away."

"Then why can't you leave him?"

There it was, the dreaded question that Sharpay hated. She knew she wasn't going to get away with this one, what was she going to say? Sharpay shook her head and looked away from Troy, trying to reorganise her thoughts.

"Why are you still with him?" Troy asked again.

"Why do you always have to bring him up?"

"I just want to know what you think of me."

"I love you, shouldn't that be everything?"

Troy shook his head, "So are you just going to love me forever and we are going to be nothing?"

"What do you want from me Troy?"

"I want you to choose, him or me."

Sharpay closed her eyes and moved herself away from Troy, she was visibly shaking. Troy looked at the blonde in front of him, wanting to take her into his arms, telling her everything will be ok. But that would be a lie, because he can't get over himself anymore, he wanted to know where this relationship was going.

They sat in silence once again, Sharpay should have been crying but she was too numb to even think about that. Sharpay looked over at Troy who was no longer looking at her, she lifted herself from her seat and grabbed her bag that was thrown onto the floor just minutes before. "I should go."

He said nothing and watched her leave; he knew he was second choice to her.

And I hate that I can't say your name,
without feeling like I'm part of the blame.
And it's never gonna feel quite the same,
but it's never gonna change.

Sharpay felt numb, there was a giant hole in her heart and she knew nothing would ever be the same. She was angry at herself for not even slightly fighting for him, and she might have just lost him now.

Sharpay switched the engine on and quickly turned on some music, trying to block out her thoughts. The music calmed her down a little, just enough for her to make it home. She felt like her world just crashed down, but she still couldn't cry.

Her house intimidated her, just like Marcus did. But then it hit her, Troy loved her so much and she was on the verge of giving it all up because she is too scared to leave Marcus. Her life was going to return to being meaningless, not having something to look forward to. The sudden, deep pain in her heart was so bad, she felt like her whole world had come crashing down on her. She rested her head on the steering wheel, sobbing in her distress.

And I hate that I'm always so young,
had me feeling like you were the one.
And it's never gonna feel like it's done,
cause it's never gonna change.

Her mind wandered back to five years ago, when life was simple and all she had to worry about was her education. The night she met Troy Bolton, and he amazed her with his charms and his confidence. He wasn't cocky like the others in his frat, he was friendly and easy to talk to. She remembered how he said her name was strange but that it suited her because it was unique. Or the first time he told her how beautiful she was. How life would be so much simpler if they were together in college. This is the consequence of not telling someone how you really feel, and how it had turned a full circle.

Sharpay ran her finger around the bracelet that had found a new home on her wrist. She wiped her tears away, checking herself in the mirror before leaving her car. She knew she couldn't sit in there forever. Her knees were weak, she didn't want to go into her home. Everything was meaningless in there. She made her way through the house to her room without acknowledging anyone. When she reached her room, she noticed the door was opened. Shit.

She entered the room slowly, and made contact with the man sat on the bed.

"Well, well, well… Look who is finally home." Marcus smirked.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh Sharpay, I have missed you." Marcus approached her, pressing his cold hand against her. "Did you know how upset I was to find that you were missing when I got home?"

"I thought you were out of town."

"I lied." He shrugged and lifted her chin up, "And where have you been my love?"

His voice and touch sent shivers down her spine, "I was out." She was avoiding eye contact him.

"Out? Are you sure you didn't go and see one of your friends."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Marcus smirked, placing his hand on her cheek. "How long did you think you can hide it from me?"

"Marcus, I wasn't seeing anyone." She swallowed hard.

"You are lying." Marcus took his phone off the bed and showed it to Sharpay, it was a photo way back from when Troy dropped her off at home. "You are sleeping with my assistant?" His voice grew louder and louder each time.

"No! He just took me home that night."

"Bullshit! Are you going to tell me the truth or do I need to show any more proof Sharpay?" Marcus threw his phone onto the floor and with all his force, he pushed her onto the bed. "Tell me the truth!"

"Marcus." He pulled her up from the bed by grappling onto her naked throat, hands cold and pulsating against her nape. He looked at her dead in the eye, she could see how angry he was. Her heart thrummed in her chest.

"Do you think you can play me Sharpay? I have given you everything you can ever fucking ask for. And you go and sleep with my assistant?!" Marcus let go of her neck but a big slap on her face came down hard, she fell to the floor, her balance off.

The left side of her face was stinging, but it was not as harsh as the sound made as his hand connected with her cheek. "Don't you dare fucking lie to me again." His voice was hoarse, interjecting with pure enjoyment. "Don't you think you are getting away with this one dear, I am never going to let you leave my side."

Marcus left her lying on the floor emotionless. Before he left he turned to her once again, "You better not see that boy of yours. Or I will destroy the both of you." He turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Silence. Silence once again.

While I dance here softly,
you're next to me again.
But we're tugging on each other,
and tearing up the fraying loose ends.

She wasn't sad. She was hollow. She wanted to keep her head up high but she was dying inside so she stayed on the floor, rolled up in a ball. She was used to this, pretending everything was great. Every day she puts on a fake face so people won't worry about her, but inside she was dying. Out of everyone, Troy Bolton had to see through that mask.

Sadness is like when the heart spirals into a deep hole. Shattering the warmth and confidence from inside her, the feeling of security and protection weakens, but shame and confusion fills in this absence. She knew there was no way she could leave Marcus now. She had no one.

There are those like her, everyday life becomes hard for them. Even if she tries to pull herself out of darkness, she knew Marcus– sometimes even herself – would push her down again; reminding her of her imperfections, her lies. No one can understand why she did what she did, why she stayed with Marcus. From the outside, people think she turned a blind eye because of the money, the power, the glory, but she didn't crave for that. She didn't understand herself why she left Troy, she was scared of telling Marcus, scared of losing everything. But now, she had truly lost everything.

And I hate that I can't say your name,
without feeling like I'm part of the blame.
And it's never gonna feel quite the same,
but it's never gonna change.

Weeks went by and Troy never contacted Sharpay, nor did she do the same to him. It was over now, no more games, no more hurt feelings, no more confrontation. Troy lived everyday feeling empty, his time with Sharpay was short but it had left a massive scar in him. He knew he was never going to love someone like her, hell he will probably never love anyone again.

Troy handed in his resignation letter a few days after Sharpay left him, Marcus never said a word to him, he always wondered why. Troy wanted to end everything here, he wanted a fresh start so he took the job offer in New York.

He was moving to New York in a few days so he was busy packing up everything in his apartment. The movers were coming tomorrow to take everything cross country whilst he was staying in a hotel for two more days before he physically moved there himself. Troy decided to take a break from all the packing and went for a jog, taking in the beautiful state of Los Angeles before moving to the city that never sleeps.

When he went home, he noticed he had post and took them into his apartment. One of them was an envelope, the penmanship on it was elegant and he immediately had a feeling as to who it could be. He opened the letter carefully and a small dedicate bracelet fell out of the packaging. He picked it up and examined it, immediately recognising it.

And I hate that I'm always so young,
had me feeling like you were the one.
And it's never gonna feel like it's done,
cause it's never gonna change.

Dear Troy,

I am writing this letter today because I can't face you, I can't see you without wanting to kiss you. I know you are leaving for New York, but I hope you will take your time to read this letter. I want you to know that since the day we met again, a year ago, I've fallen deeply in love with you. There are no words to express the feeling I feel in my heart that you came back into my life, and how you made every minute I got to spent with you so special.

I love you Troy, you were never a game or a toy to me. Loving you was the only thing that made life worth living. Day by day, my love for you grew, and I know it was leading us nowhere. I couldn't be with you, and I know it was killing you inside. I can't leave Marcus, and I am not going to explain why but I hope you can understand.

I am selfish. I wanted everything. I wanted you and everything that came with the life I am living right now, but I knew I couldn't have both. When you asked me to choose, I felt like my world broke up into a million pieces. I know you will never understand why I left you, but this isn't a letter to tell you why I did it, this is a letter telling you to move on from me. I'm not worth it Troy, you deserve better. A girl out there, who is much better than me, deserves someone like you Troy.

Whatever happens, I wish you well Troy. You truly do deserve the best that life has to offer you. Please know that I love you, and a part of me always will.

Sharpay

Cause it's never gonna change,
never gonna change.

Well this one was written a bit differently as I included this lovely song called 'Never Gonna Change' by Broods in it. What do you guys think? Do you prefer it? Please let me know in the reviews! A lot of this story is inspired by music, particularly from Lana Del Rey's new album (She is my queen), you guys can probably tell from the story title.

You might be thinking Sharpay is crazy in this. I tried by best writing the scene between her and Marcus, because I noticed this story had been quite Troy-centric. Hopefully it sheds a bit of light onto their relationship and what she's going through behind closed doors.

Would really appreciate some feedback! - J